NOW

MARCH 2017

MINHYUK placed the hot cup gently back on its saucer as he raised his gaze warmly at his fiancé. “So, I saw the article yesterday. You went to a dress fitting at Vera Wang studio?”

“Yes,” Naeun parroted dryly. “I tried calling you, but I kept getting into mail- ”

“You could’ve tried calling my office. That article literally brought me down. Have you ever considered my reputation?”

“What about mine?” Naeun fired back under her breathe. “I called you, not once, not twice but until my thumb went numb from pressing the button repeatedly. I was trying to reach my fiancé but it seemed like he had something more urgent to attend to. Dammit Minhyuk, I stood there in the studio like a desperate dummy. I tried the dress without my future husband by my side. I swallowed everything tightly, not saying a word, and just put on a big smile and pretended that nothing was going wrong. And when I left the studio, the reporters, out of nowhere, swarmed me without giving me chance to catch my breath. They all asked me questions about you and I was flustered because I honestly did not have the slightest clue about your whereabout. So, stop giving me the protect-my-good-name craps because I’ve had it.”

“Don’t put on a sad play, Naeun.” Minhyuk snapped harshly. “You and me both know too well how much we didn’t want this marriage.”

“I know that,” Naeun said, tears started to well in her eyes. “But I’m not that coldhearted of a jerk to not put any effort into making this a happy marriage. I know this relationship is built under a business deal, Minhyuk, but I have no problem learning to open my heart.”

Minhyuk closed his mouth in distate, lines forming out on his lean forehead. “I’m sorry I at pretending, Naeun. But I’ll promise I’ll step up my game next time. One more thing, don’t be too excited about this marriage. It makes you look more desperate than you’re supposed to.”

Minhyuk snatched the napkin and removed it off his lap. He pushed back his chair and planted an air-kiss on Naeun’s head. “Have a good day, hon. It was nice seeing you,” he whispered in her right ear before dismissing her completely.

MINA laid out the files neatly on the meeting table and pulled out a chair for Naeun when she noticed her boss was approaching. She turned at Naeun and handed the tentative of today’s meeting.

“Today’s meeting’s gonna cover about the rise of our stock, the latest progress of our second hotel in Jeju-do – wait, Naeun, you do know we have our second hotel being constructed in Jeju right now, right?

Naeun shrugged lightly as she slouched deep in her seat. “I feel like soju.”

“What?”

“Soju,” Naeun repeated weakly as though she just came back from a hard labor work. “I don’t feel so good. And I feel like having some soju. Can I?”

“Yah!” Mina hit Naeun on her shoulder hoping to knock some sense into her friend. “You better not give me that attitude right now. My back is aching, and we’re about to have our most important meeting in less than 1 minute. I’ll get you your soju after we finish our work, okay? Tonight.”

Naeun pursed her lips, sulked and irritated as she rubbed her sore pain. “I just got hit by my own secretary. Never felt much better now.”

Mina was about to open to answer back to Naeun but she quickly dropped the idea when she saw important figures of the company have finally arrived. Mina instead leaned in to Naeun’s ear and mumbled, “Tonight – I’ll bring some soju to your apartment and I will let you hit me back, okay?”

“Can I tell you my problems too?”

“Have I ever turned my back on you, sweetheart?” Mina said soothingly, and it brought smile to Naeun’s face. “I just need you to concentrate your best, and don’t lose focus.”

“I won’t,” Naeun winked at her secretary. “I have you to pull me back into reality, like what you always do.”

“I can’t do that today though, because I won’t be joining you for today’s meeting.”

Naeun startled, tossing about in the small seat to have a better look at Mina.  “But why?”

“Good luck,” Mina smiled shortly, patting Naeun’s shoulder with empathy before leaving Naeun clueless and unprepared.

“ARE you coming over?” Jongin pressed his phone flat to his ear supported by his left shoulder. He was shifting all the groceries he bought to his one single hand. Then he re-steadied his position by holding his phone back in his hand.

“Do you have spicy rice cakes?”

“I do,” Jongin lied. “Not. Yet. C’mon over first, then we can go out to have some drink at night stalls. Y’know, like how we always did in college.”

“I don’t know if I can stay up late tonight. I have a big interview coming tomorrow,” Kyungsoo explained at the end of the line.

Jongin drew his hand and pressed the ‘up’ button to the elevator. “What big interview?”

“There’s this company I applied for an internship program, and they called up my professor today to inform that all the applicants must go through some sort of interview first. They told us to be well prepared because we might actually become a permanent because they really need some new faces.”

“That’s good news, right?” Jongin laughed awkwardly. “I mean, cuz I haven’t got mine yet.”

“They haven’t called your professor?”

Jongin nodded, scratching his head, but slowly lowered his hand seconds later when he noticed a young woman was approaching the elevator. He glanced at her surreptitiously and studied her over-the-top outfit. She was indoor, but she didn’t take off her hat and her glasses too. Her brick red mini dress brought out her fair skin tone and also highlighted her perfect hourglass curve beneath her loose leather jacket. Her lean legs were strikingly long and her bedazzled pumps complimented her overall appearance.

Jongin stopped for a moment and looked up front. He was certain the pumps seemed familiar, which was bizarre because he never paid any close attention to any women’s apparel. Jongin brushed it off and got into the elevator when it has arrived. He stepped first inside and held the elevator for her.

 “Dude- hello – heyy, did you just hang up on me?” Kyungsoo’s voice was not in a gentle tone anymore. Jongin gasped, and quickly returned to his phone after pressing button number ‘11’. The young woman earlier leaned forward and pressed number’20’, the most top floor of the building.

So, she lives in a penthouse.

“I’m still here,” Jongin answered and was aware he was looked at momentarily.

“Weird how you haven’t received the call, cuz I mean all our friends have gotten the call. Some of them are already starting their internship.”

“I don’t know, man,” Jongin breathed as he leaned back. “I probably got turned down. Dammit. Finding another hotel might be tough.”

“What hotel did you apply to anyway?”

Jongin shrugged his shoulder, raking his already-tousled hair in annoyance as he was recalling back the name of the hotel.

“Something like Blue Sky Hotel – I don’t know. I don’t remember.  That hotel has weird name. I don’t even know why I chose to apply there in the first place.”

Kyungsoo laughed at the end the line without knowing that it had only added fire to Jongin’s anger. “How could you not remember, man? That’s just not right.”

“Don’t make fun of me,” Jongin rolled his eyes, stealing quick glances at the woman next to him who seemed a bit disturbed by his loud conversation. “Kyungsoo, I have to go,” Jongin ended abruptly. “Just call me if you wanna drop by okay?”

“Okay.”

Jongin sighed as he slipped his phone in his back pocket, unintentionally showing off the hard, lean thigh muscle in his ripped skinny jeans. He got off the elevator casually when the bell rang at 11^th floor.

It wasn’t until Jongin took off his Nike high-tops that he was remembered of where he saw the pumps earlier. He smirked at the unusual memory that came by as he put down his groceries on the marble counter.

She’s that weird rich girl, isn’t it - the one whose shoes got stuck between the manhole cover.

“HE put on such a great act – that lowlife,” Naeun half yelled, half whispered in her drunken state. She raised her empty glass and pointed in Mina’s eyes. “I hate him. I hope he slips on a bar soap in the shower. I hope his favorite shoes got peed on by a stray dog. I hope someone drunk hit his Benz and got away with it. I hope that jerk – that lowlife, parasitical son of a- ”

“Easy now,” Mina grabbed Naeun’s glass and kept it away. She took all three empty soju bottles and tossed them into the black plastic bag. “Don’t torture yourself because of your worthless fiance, Naeun. You don’t deserve this.”

“Exactly,” Naeun patted the table hard and her hand burned in minutes. ‘I don’t deserve any of this. I don’t deserve to be treated this way, right? I, of all human on this entire planet, do not deserve to be treated like a stage puppet. I have my own voice but they all choose to ignore it.” Naeun dropped her head on the table and wept like a baby. Mina leaned close and rubbed her friend’s shoulder.

“I hate my life,” Naeun finally broke to tears. She sobbed hard, catching some breath before continuing crying. “I don’t want to get married to Minhyuk. I don’t wanna be his wife. I don’t wanna do all that my dad asks. I don’t wanna go to work. I hate having to be in tabloids for dressing badly. I don’t want to be on the front cover of a teen magazine for nailing a dress. I don’t want stupid cameras to be following me all around. I can’t even pick my nose in the public when it’s itchy. Do you how tough that is, MIna?”

Mina nodded, feeling sympathetic at her friend’s heartfelt confession. This is exactly why she hated to be her drinking buddy. It would either end up in tears or broken glass. Mina got close and hugged Naeun’s shaking shoulders.

“I’m sorry,” Mina comforted as she kissed Naeun’s back. “But if it’s so hard, just tell your dad you don’t want to get married to Minhyuk. Be honest with him. Tell him about how feel.”

“I don’t know how to,” Naeun argued, choking on her sobs. “I’m scared. I’m very scared about getting married. Happily ever after doesn’t come easily in life like mine. And I definitely don’t want live in regret for the rest of my life. I would probably die – or just run away.”

Mina sighed, tightening her grip. “I’m sure you’ll find someone more deserving of you. Happily ever after doesn’t happen unless it’s actually ending happily, right?”

“Not right. Mina, can I please marry your husband? You always seem happy when you talk about your husband.”

“I don’t know. I guess that’s because I have already found my happily ever after.”

“I hate you.”

Mina smiled, still continuing to hug her sad friend. “Oh dear, your face will totally be bloated in the morning if you keep crying like this.”

“Whatever,” Naeun said flatly as she changed position. Her body was getting numb being pressed by a 78-kg pregnant woman. “I’m gonna skip work tomorrow.”

“You can’t,” Mina interceded as she let loose of her embrace. “You need to help me out with the internship interview tomorrow.”

“What internship interview?”

“Are you kidding?” Mina’s eyes went wide. “I specifically told you to ask the admission and record department to place calls to all our interns. They need to come over for our interview. Wait – have you asked Nara to call them?”

Naeun frowned, and tilted her head cynically at her. “I honestly have zero idea what you just talked about.”

“Yah Son Naeun!”

“Don’t yell, dammit,” Naeun picked her ears in annoyance – as though she even deserved to be the one feeling that. “My ears are sensitive when I’m drunk, y’know.”

“For god’s sake my back hurts so much right now, and I if ever give birth while on the run, it is all on you, sir.”

THEN

SEPTEMBER 2014

JONGIN hasn’t been able to leave Taemin’s room ever since his death. Truthfully speaking, Jongin couldn’t fathom himself why he didn’t want to leave the room just yet. It still felt like yesterday when he would come barging into Taemin’s room and threw his backpack on the floor and joined his friend for another typical video-game evening. He stared at the untouched consoles that have been sitting gingerly since they were last used.

The thing he liked about memories is that they are timeless and what he hated about it is that they were just mere memories – they have no strength.

He dragged his foot and settled himself on Taemin’s study table. His long finger traced gently on the carving Taemin made during his bored time.

DAMN YOU JONGIN

Jongin smiled, his eyes brimmed with tears but he still could read the sentence clearly.

Well damn you too, man.

Jongin sat back, wiping his eyes with the sleeve when his foot suddenly kicked at a box underneath the foot-rest. Jongin’s raised his brows as he bent down to take a good look at what was actually down there. He discovered a dusty box, but the dust lightly coated the top. Jongin thought it wasn’t long since Taemin last touched it. How come he never noticed this?

Jongin contemplated about his conscience - whether he should mind his own business, and put back the box where it belonged or just open the top off and look what was inside, but it finally dawned on him that the owner of this box is already gone, so there was no harm whatsoever for him; as Taemin’s best friend for almost 20 years to manage - or rather re-organize - his stuff. What would Taemin do to him anyway? Come back to haunt him? It sounded like a good idea to him, since he needed to see his best friend again.

Jongin took the lid off and was actually taken back to find a bundle of letters stringed together tightly appearing before his eyes.

IT has been 3 days since Jongin last saw the letters, but he never had the strength to actually open them. He was guilty-conscious about having to invade Taemin’s privacy, though honestly he was damn curious of the contents of the letters. Maybe he was only writing to his famous footballer dad, or maybe to his long-distant, newly discovered cousins, if he actually had any.

Or maybe he talked about why he wanted to die.

“I don’t know man,” Jongin let out a heavy sigh. “Maybe we should put them back in.”

“Dude,” Sehun frowned. “You already knew where the box is. Even if you did put back the letters, you’re still gonna creep at night in his room because you are just that eager to find out what he wrote about.”

“I’m scared.”

“Me too, man. I’m losing my mind here, like literally. But it’s better if we can just please get on with- ”

“Maybe we should just get on with it.” Jongin finally grabbed the first letter of the bundle and began opening the folds. His movement was however ceased by trembling Sehun’s hands.

“Are you sure?”

“I’m pretty sure I don’t want to die of curiosity.”

“Yeah,” Sehun nodded blankly. “Good point there. Oh my God, I’m feeling excited all of a sudden.”

“Okay,” Jongin breathed out, eyes looking down at the fully-written front page of the letter. “Here goes nothing.”

                             June 19^th 2014 – 3:10 AM

                             Jongin laughed when I first mentioned that I wanted to die. That’s okay. I’m not blaming him. I would probably react the same. I didn’t take it personally.

                             So I saw you again today, dressed all white- ordering the usual Iced Americano that you loved. You called me by my name today, finally, and I never felt so happy. You really looked good in white – I wanted to tell you that but I don’t know why I felt like a retard every time I look into your beautiful eyes. I wish I can keep’em. This is bad. I’m missing you already. Words couldn’t describe how painful it is every time I see him came up to you with white roses. I wanna be that person – having you around my arms all the time.

Love always, Taemin.

Jongn finally stopped reading after he has reached the final word of the letter.

“Wow - I’m actually mad,” Jongin spat harshly, red-faced. He threw the letters away, and he just didn’t know what to feel about this letter. He honestly was expecting some kind of explanation Taemin prepared for him, not some weird journal entry by a mothering romantic.  “Dammit you ing son of a !”

Sehun quickly reached for Jongin’s hand to ease his riled up emotions. “Calm down, Jongin.”

“How can I calm down? Dammit Sehun, you don’t understand how mad I am at this selfish schmuck! Do you know I still have nightmares about the loud gunshot I heard upstairs? Do you know what is the question people keep pestering me about Taemin until today? Do I know why he did it? Do I know why he pulled the trigger? Dammit Sehun I don’t know, okay! I don’t!”

“Calm down, for God’s sake! There are still other letters. Maybe the reason is written in one of those.”

“This douchebag is dead now and of all the precious things he could’ve left behind, he chose to leave these weird love letters.  Y’know what? I’m so done!”

Jongin punched the table and stormed out of Sehun’s room, leaving behind all the letters that belonged to Taemin. Sehun’s gaze fell on the still-sealed letters, slouching deeper in his seat, fingers rubbing his throbbing temple.

Seriously Taemin, it can’t actually be true.

****

I decided to update early this time around because I don't think I will have the time to do my usual weekly updates in the next few weeks because I will be super busy with my fasting and Eid celebration.

I hope you would understand :)  //And maybe even post the next chapter in one or two day :'D

Comment, subscribe and upvote if you like the story~

P/S : Couldn't be more grateful and happier to see your positive feedbacks, along with some regular readers from my ChoHann fanfic T^T