NOW

APRIL 2017

                JONGIN ran out of his car as soon as he found an empty spot for a good car park. He dashed into the building of memorial service and went directly to wing A, where Taemin’s room is located.  His footsteps however grew slow and heavy the moment he saw a counter across the entrance.

                “Good evening, Jongin,” the regular receptionist at the waiting counter greeted him with a small smile. “Visiting old friend again today?”

                He wanted to speak back, but the gripping lump down his throat took away the ability. Instead, he forced a smile and walked towards the counter.

                The old man smiled again, and handed him the guest book. “Here you go.”

                Jongin nodded, and he could heel his cold hands shook the moment he held the pen in his hand.

                “Are you alright? You don’t look so well.”

                Jongin was nervous, and he lifted his chin quickly to deny the remark. “I’m fine.”

                “Don’t forget to write the date too. A guest earlier forgot to write down the date so I had to do it for her. Not that it was such a bother, but sometime if you forget to write the date down, the next guest might do the same thing and next thing you’ll know, I’d have to spend extra hour trying to fill in all the dates. Not that it was a hassle,” the friendly old man smiled again, showcasing his two missing front tooth.

                “Okay,” Jongin answered breathlessly, and signed his name and jotted down the date as well. His eyes fell on the name signed just above Sehun’s own and he lost the grip to the pen when he studied carefully the initial marked across the line.

                Hyorin- that Hyorin was the woman who visited Taemin?

Oh my God.

NAEUN rubbed both of her eyes, and when she slit them open, she saw the familiar view around her. She was in her bed, in her old room at her parents’ house. She smiled unknowingly, relieved to have come back home finally, and made up with her parents especially.

Sofia, having learned the right time Naeun would wake up, knocked on the door twice before she swung them open. She was carrying with her breakfast on bed for Naeun consisting triangle rice roll with a glass of lukewarm lemon tea. Naeun looked towards the door, and still at her reproaching mother.

“Morning, dear,” Sofia took a seat next to Naeun. “I figured you’d like to have some private time on your own after the talk we had last night, so I figured breakfast on bed doesn’t sound like a bad idea. I wouldn’t want you to be awkward around us.”

Naeun was compelled with a sense of guilt when she remember how stiff her shoulders felt being hugged by her mom once they found out she was at Mina’s. They later had a small talk on their way home regarding Minhyuk and what they would do next after the failed wedding though Naeun looked very much disturbed during the talk, and was much more absorbed in her own thought rather than being open to her parents and told them how she felt about the whole thing.

Jihoo promised he would fix this mess up and restore Naeun’s clean image to the public, since she was the victim, but Naeun was quiet the whole drive, and she was rather occupied with what went on outside the window.

                “Mom,” Naeun said suddenly after remembering her cold behaviour towards her parents, whom despite everything that went on, still showed immense support for her and she felt bad having to taking her parents for granted. “I’m sorry if my attitude last night was a bit cold and uncomfortable to bear with. I was not quite ready to see you guys after what Minhyuk did to me.”

                “Honey,” Sofia said firmly, though the tearful eyes reflected otherwise. “Your father and I never blamed you for what happened. It was our mistake. We forced you into this marriage when none of you guys were ready. I don’t know what else I could do to make you feel less bad about it, but believe me, never once do I feel like you have failed me.”

                “I was hoping that everything would turn out fine during the wedding, but mom, I was not – never in live with him, and I don’t think I ever will. I was scared to say anything because I don’t want to disappoint you.”

                “Naeun,” Sofia called out, supressing her sobs. “Let’s not talk about this matter anymore. It’s a painful memory to all of us, I know, but I’d like it if we could put all this behind us. Your father is trying his best to make everything alright, and he will deal with Minhyuk personally, so, let’s not concern ourselves with that matter, okay, and let’s stop talking about it. I don’t this matter to upset you even more. It already broke my heart to piece when he-”

 “Mom,” Naeun cut across, stopping her mother from going back to that cursed nightmare.  “I’m sorry.”

Sofia leaned forward and caressed the right cheek on her daughter. “Me too,” she said whisperingly as tears began falling down her own cheek. “I’m really, really sorry.”

Naeun smiled underneath the winced expression she had on, and hugged her mother just as tightly. “Enough with all this sad drama, okay? Today’s my off-day so let’s not just waste my day with any more tears. I’ve had enough breakdowns last couple of days.”

“Okay,” Sofia tried to break into a smile for her daughter. “Anything for you.”

JONGIN didn’t know if Naeun was going to show up at work today or not, but he was definitely eager to find out more about Hyorin through Naeun but then he was sure himself if that was a good thing to do since Naeun already has a lot going on on her plate right now. He also didn’t want to give weird, nonsensical excuse if Naeun were to ask why he was so curious of Hyorin all of a sudden.

He did try ‘googling’ Hyorin, but beside her extraordinary background history, nothing else related to Temin came up. It was not even mentioned if Hyorin was starting a foundation for orphans though she did mention her interest to him last time they met at the ball. She didn’t even leave behind a business card so there goes his chance of meeting up personally with her.

Should he just go grab the files in Naeun’s office, now that she’s probably not coming in? (the one that he had to study before the ball that time whic contained details  about Hyorin)

“IT appears like he has been very discreet about Lana. He hid her very well, and even restricted the list of people that came in to see her in the hospital,” the guy dressed all black in his mid-30s said reassuringly as he handed the files to Hyorin. They both were getting their brunch at a local café close to Hyorin hotel, Bada Hotel.

“How long has this thing been going on?”

“Lana was first registered as an outside patient 6 years ago in fall, but then she has to be admitted regularly after she threw a tantrum in the hospital canteen. Sources said she went berserk after some lunch guy serving her meal smiled at her. It turned out that innocent man reminded her of someone  who used to do bad things to her.”

Hyorin’s hand shook and she almost slipped the fork off her grip. She has a strong feeling about the man her informant was talking about, but she needed to remain calm and listen to the rest of the report. Her heart ached for her sister suddenly, but she fought back the urge to cry. She then pulled herself together and recomposed herself.

“Have you done a background check on Lana? Her past? Her old normal life before she got into this state? Her old friends, and any living family members?” She added as she lifted up her chin to look at Kibum who seemed distracted by her sudden change of behaviour.

“I was just getting started on her background history, but she definitely had no remaining family members. She was an orphan at a young age of 7 after the rest of her family died in a fire that took place when they were vacationing in Bali. There was not much information on her family background because it looked like someone buried her case for good. I have a strong feeling that Lana comes from a wealthy family background but somehow she never received - not even a dime from her father’s wealth after the terrible accident occurred. She was instantly sent to a local home shelter in some remote place in Masan.”

“Someone probably took advantage of innocent Lana because she was probably too shaken by her family's death that she didn’t know what else to do but to trust the adults around her. How could a kid know how much she was entitled to her family’s wealth, what more when you were the only one remained after such tragedy.”

“Don’t worry. I’m really close to finding out who her close relatives are and I got a feeling they aren’t just normal, middle class people.  And this may or may not be crucial but, Lana was apparently adopted by some old man in his 40s to be his wife when she was only turning 19.”

“What?” Hyorin’s eyes widened in horror. She didn’t know she shared the same age as Lana, but this particular girl has gone through a lot, and some are just beyond her imagination.

That sick old man!

Hyorin dropped her cutleries in the plate and the cringe-inducing clinking sound startled half of the small café. Kibum hastened to help Hyorin regained her composure when he realized she was bending over, looking very sickly.

“Are you alright? Do you need some fresh air?”

But Hyorin didn’t say anything, and she broke into tears right away the moment Kibum squeezed her shoulder.

THIS was a serious mental battle. Naeun has been glaring, stalking at her idle phone since this morning, and now that it was getting to 4.00 PM, Naeun grew antsy at the thought of her ignorant intern.

Are you seriously not curious even a bit about me?

Don’t you wanna know how I’m doing or where I might be sleeping?

Has it not occurred to you I might’ve escaped Mina’s house and ended up somewhere in the wild streets of Seoul?

Shouldn’t you take responsibility of making me your first priority since you were the one who promised to not grow tired of my drama?

Wow – I didn’t know men were such fickle-minded, untrustworthy good for nothing sons of a gun!

Dammit Jongin –

When are you gonna call me?

Please.. call me..

Naeun could be seen breathing fire right out of her nose by the time she picked up her phone only to emotionally whine again when the screen did not show any sign of incoming phone call from Jongin. She had no idea why she was behaving this way but Jongin has been silent since he last dropped her off after shutting like that and she just thought she deserved at least a phone call of apology from Jongin.

But she wasn’t exactly mad about it. She just wanted him to know how she was doing right now without being the first one to do so.

Should I try calling him first?

Naeun’s face twisted like a troll in front of a smoking cauldron, hating to be the one who’d surrender first, and she quickly threw her phone away.

Surrender first?

This isn’t even a goddam game, dammit!

Damn you Jongin, I hope you choke on your food.

And call me afterward to tell me you just choked on your food.

…-

Oh my God – I’m so ed upppppp

LATER that night, Sehun came over to Jongin’s house after he received a call from his friend telling him he has something very important to tell him, and it couldn’t be through phone.

Sehun threw his baseball jacket on the couch and went over to the kitchen to make himself something to drink.

“This is not right, but what would you like to drink, Jongin?” Sehun asked in low tone.

“I’m fine,” Jongin declined politely. “But thank you for asking.”

“I probably should send you over to a manner class. Let them beat some normal human sense into you.”

Jongin smirked – funny because Naeun said the same thing about him the last time they met. He wondered how she was doing, but he got too caught up with Taemin’s case that he forgot to check up on her. He probably should give her a call sometimes. His smiled however died right off the moment Sehun grabbed the empty spot next to him.

“This should be important,” Sehun added. “Why else would you invite me over?”

“You know you’re free to come over any time.”

“I know. I just couldn’t believe it.”

Jongin shook his head and handed the files the Sehun quietly. Sehun lifted a brow, puzzled, but Jongin didn’t say anything else and only pursed his lips over at the files.

Sehun put down his glass but Jongin was quick to intercept it and grabbed it for a sip. Sehun let it be and instead he was focused at the content of the files.

“You’re scaring me out. Where the did you get this file? And this is the Hyorin that came to see Taemin? Dude, you’re damn fast to do your research, huh?” Sehun sounded hyped up, but he could only understand the desperation that been chained Jongin boundless about the death of his best friend.

“I know this woman. She is the hotel heiress I had a date with during the charity ball at my hotel.”

“Oh the one that gathered all rich people for some donation thingy?”

“That was the one. I retrieved this file from Naeun’s office this morning. I had no idea this was the same Hyorin until I saw the exact same signature on the guestbook last night. I still remembered how she signed the donation card before she left the ball because no one did an H like that, at least not that I know of.”

“I’m getting goosebumps. This is a ing small world. Dude, how sure are you that she might be related to the girl in Taemin’s letters?

“Like she could be his girlfriend or anything? I don’t know. It can’t be. I mean, you told me that it was her first visit. There’s no way that could happen if she was his girlfriend or anything. She would’ve visited him more frequently, and maybe even made some effort to reach out to us. I mean, she should at least know about me and you, right?”

“Yeah,” Sehun answered softly, looking very out of place.

“If she was not the girl Taemin mentioned in the letters, maybe she’d know a lot of things that Taemin hid from me. That jerk - it still pisses me off to know what value did my trust hold to him.”

“Dude,” Sehun said calmly, placing his hand on Jongin’s thigh. “Let’s not get carried away now.”

“Yeah. Of course. Sorry,” Jongin said crisply. “But just so you know, I’d still kick his eventhough he’s a dead man now.”

“I know,” Sehun comforted with a nod, and stifled a short smile at Jongin. He just wanted him to feel better. Sehun looked down again at the files as he continued to read on the details.

“Nothing else that’s related to Taemin.”

“Uh-huh. Which is why I’m thinking of reaching out to her and have a talk about Taemin.”

“You’re just gonna call her up and ask her to meet up? Will that do? I mean, would she even remember you? No offense.”

“I’m sorry I have such regular face, Sehun. Gee, I don’t know. What else should I do then? I can’t possibly be stalking her, I mean, it’s gonna consume a lot of time and effort and that’s not very smart. I don’t even think I have the patience to stay calm anymore.”

“Don’t get me wrong but how can you be so sure she even knows Taemin? I mean, all you got is the same name and signature, but for all we know, it could be a total coincidence.”

Jongin sighed heavily and he stared hard at Sehun’s logical reasoning. He then shifted his gaze at the files and everything got tangled up again.

“I just gotta try first, man,” Jongin said with a faint trace of hope in his voice. He bent over, propping his chin in his two hands and rubbed his face. “I’m really desperate.”

Sehun was feeling very sorry for Jongin, and that night Jongin’s shoulder seemed to shrink in size. He wondered how much Jongin has to endure alone without him, or anyone by his side. And wondered how much did it hurt him. Sehun swallowed a bitter gulp as he institutively leaned forward to Jongin’s back.

“Then I’d say, what the hell. Just go for it, man.”

Jongin looked to his side, surprised, and Sehun’s gentle expression was holding against his own firmly and it soothed the turbulence he felt inside. “Thanks.”

“Yeah.  Sorry I was not so positive earlier. This kind of thing never ceased to freak me out.”

“Me too,” Jongin let out a chuckle. “Hey, dude, if she agreed to meet me, do you wanna come along? I kinda need you to be with me during that time. It’ll make things so much easier for me.”

“ yeah I’ll be there.”

THERE were still letters Taemin left behind for Jongin to read and study. But he could not force himself to read them. The words Taemin wrote was so beautifully crafted that it made him think if Taemin was already deciding that he was going to do it. And that thought alone brought shiver to his spine. Jongin has been sitting at his study desk, looking down at the bundle of letters inside the box with a longing expression carved to his face. He had his knees up to his chest and he hugged them like a small child, the same pose he did every time he had to deal with something unbearable or dreadful. He was getting tired but he needed to think about a lot of stuff. About Hyorin. And the extent of her knowledge regarding Taemin’s death.

Or if she even knew who Taemin was.

His phone suddenly rang and his eyes were then fixated on the caller’s name.

Naeun.

OH MY GOD WORST DECISION EVER –

Naeun was quick on her fingers to shut dead the call when it was still ringing and she threw the phone away. She got up from her bed and stuck flat to the wall of her room, staring at her phone in horror.

I MUST BE CRAZY

IT’S 2.00 AM IN THE MORNING AND I CANNOT BE CALLING SOMEONE AT THIS HOUR

I AM NOT THIS KIND OF LONELY WOMAN WHO IS DESPRATE FOR MAN’S ATTENTION 

OH GOD PLEASE DON’T LET HIM SEE MY MISSED CALL UNTIL MORNING

DAMN YOU FINGERS DO YOU NEED TO BE CUT OFF, HUH?

SHOULD I JAM YOU INTO A WALL FOR CARELESSLY DOING SOMETHING UNTHOUGTHFUL AND A SOMEWHAT AN EMBARASSMENT TO MY WOMAN PRIDE

Naeun sighed inwardly, lamenting her frustration as she pulled at her hair before getting into the position to readily slam her finger horizontally into the wall so she had no means of ever calling Jongin at a bad timing.

Then, in between of the silence of the night and her loud ruckus against herself, her phone rang unexpectedly.

“My finger slipped,” Naeun hastily offered in a short breath of air. “It was not because I was thinking of you or anything, okay , so don’t flatter yourself.”

“Naeun?” A soft feminine voice at the end of the phone called out and Naeun’s ears was strained in no time.

 “Yes?” She was careful all of a sudden, and held out her phone to her face to recheck the caller. It was on Minhyuk’s number. “Who’s this?”

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t mean to do that to you. I was losing my self-control. I’m so sorry, really I am. I wish I could make it up to you but I know I couldn’t and I feel so bad about that. I didn’t mean it to go that way. I’m so, so sorry,” the woman was crying at the end of the line.

And then it hit Naeun; this woman is Minhyuk’s girlfriend and she was honestly apologizing to her for destroying the wedding.

“Who is this?” Naeun asked again, and this time her voice was firm. “You better tell me who you are-”

“Naeun, I’m sorry I gotta go. I’ll call you again some other time. My God, I am truly sorry for what I’ve done to you and your family,” the voice was muffled; as though she has been crying even before the call was made. It then ended briskly and Naeun was left alone, hanging.

What the is going on right now?

***

Lol so I saw the comment went kru..kru..kruu. and I was thought of a crow cawing (?) at my story and I just realised how much of a slacking, unmoving writer I am and I decided to brush up (?) my writing gears and gave you a double update you sons of a gun!

Yeah thanks to that dedicated kru kru kru commenter that I am compelled to bring alive this story ;)

Sorry I was a lazy piece of  T.T

ENJOY :3