THEN

OCTOBER 2014

SOMETIMES, when the weather was beautiful and the sun was high and bright, Jongin liked to think of himself as a lucky man; a man who is content of his life; a man who, despite had gone through a terrible loss, could still remember how to smile properly.

Sometimes.

However, most of the times, he would just stare outside from a room that smelled of dry winter air and foreign air dehumidifier that once belonged to his happy friend and wished it would rain instead so he would have reasons to tell Sister why he did not ‘socialize’ with people.

“Don’t lose hope,” Sister Kim used to tell him every night before putting him to sleep, hours long after enduring the nosy whining and frustration rants from Jongin before he got tired of resisting and drifted off to sleep.

“You were always a strong kid, and you cannot be any different now.”

“It’s not about losing hope,” Jongin scowled in his sleep. “It’s about finding independence. I forgot how it feels to be alone now.”

NOW

APRIL 2014

BANG YONGGUK was a confident man of a hearty laughter and exquisite taste in interior designing. He liked everything vintage and classic. He appreciated rareness and he valued the astounding beauty in all the new things; which was why he agreed to his client when they asked him to join dinner date for a charity cause.

“Frederick, my American client thought that it’s best to get involved in this kind of activity. It gives good impression about you, and it certainly gives good benefits to your stock market as well. I was not always fond of charity events as this one as I often find them too pretentious and a tad bit blown out of proportion, but  when you gather all rich people here like this where they get to actually have a clue to where their money goes, I say why not. ”

Naeun nodded half-heartedly at Yonggguk’s frank remark about the ball because she thought he was so full of himself. Your handsome face doesn’t go well with your personality.

“So this is your first time coming to a charity event, I take it?” Naeun was very careful about being sarcastic but somewhere along the part where Yongguk doubted people with nice intention about keeping their money safe made Naeun lost her intention.

“Well, I guess you can say that for this particular year.”

“I see,” Naeun nodded weakly; which pretty much reflected her own passion towards this cocky guy sitting in front of her. “In that case I hope we manage to leave a hell of an impression to you, sir,” Naeun smiled cynically, raising her champagne glass and made a click with Yongguk when he, too, raised it.

“I have to say though; you guys have such a great taste in champagne. Classic ’45. Amazing. Simply amazing.”

Naeun smiled again with a faint breath of chuckle. “That’s the least we can do to entertain our high client’s taste. We don’t want them to leave here without serving good liquor.”

“Aren’t I glad with that effort?” He ended with an uproar laughter that made Naeun cringe inside from his overbearing, ridiculous sense of humor.

“Excuse me for one minute,” Naeun said suddenly with a trace of haste in her voice. “You know, women.”

Yongguk smiled wide and nodded as well. “But of course.” And he even gestured her way into the aisle.

IF only Jongin had a high standard for women, he thought Hyorin has easily won his attention. Hyorin was a woman of manners, gorgeous smile and definitely a curve of a real, fully-blossomed woman. She did not talk too much for a stranger's company, and that’s the criteria Jongin thought was important for any woman. Not like some women who got nervous in front of a guy and would either go cuckoo with her life stories or get tongue-tied because she found a guy’s company was insanely overwhelming.

 But he had not a high standard, and he thought hitting on her would be very ungentlemanly. (Not to mention unprofessional)

“It gives me some kind of hope to know that there are still rich people who are willing to spend their money in a good cause. I feel nothing but glad to know that Blue Diamond holds this event annually.”

“I guess not all rich people are selfish.”

“I guess so,” Hyorin smiled shortly, but it already changed her entire countenance.

“So, does your hotel have any plan of holding the same kind of event, or if not the exact same, but maybe something that could contribute back to society?”

“I have, in fact, thought of doing it, you know, like getting involved personally with the NGOs activities and join them for a trip to a children hospital and experience what it is like to be around normal people who appreciates life as what it is, but I don’t know why some of the directors thought it was best to just sponsor them behind closed doors. I mean I get their nice intention of not wanting to draw unnecessary attention, but I think they just didn’t want to be around sick people and help them personally.”

“Maybe you would change it in some of these days - before your early retirement, of course.”

Hyorin nodded in awe and raised a glass to drink to Jongin’s well wish. “I’d like that. And maybe recruit you to be our chief of voluntary service.”

Jongin let out a chuckle and raised his glass as well. But just when his eyes were about to meet Hyorin’s he saw Naeun walking fastly away from her own table and into the crowd, before disappearing behind a corridor. He quickly darted back to Hyorin and reassured her with a raise in his brow.

“I suppose that’s not a bad idea.”

“What do you mean? Do you have other plans?”

“I do, but I’m still not too sure. I have plans; plans that I made with a friend, and I don’t know if I should go ahead with the plan or not, because,” Jongin stopped when he suddenly felt Taemin's lifeless body was still warm and close in his arm, and then he looked up at Hyorin in surprise before falling too deep into his own thoughts.

Why am I telling you all this?

“Because…?” Hyorin asked, and urged a smile.

“Because I might just work here,” Jongin uttered neatly with a line on his lips and a shrug in his shoulders.

Hyorin gasped and laughed it off afterwards. “I guess your definition of nice is actually nice.”

“I’m not that hard to please, and I like the fact that this hotel is close to my apartment.”

“Oh. Which apartment?”

“Jiyoung Apartment.”

“Oh,” Hyorin drew backward with a hint of surprise to her tone. “I’m pretty sure your boss, Naeun, also lives in the same building. Right?”

“Yeah,” Jongin said awkwardly. “But I only moved in a few weeks ago.”

“Some coincidence huh?”

Jongin nodded slowly like a retard and took a sip at his champagne to wash down his dry, itchy throat. “Perhaps.”

“Are you guys close? You and Naeun, I mean.”

“Only as close as how an intern should be with his boss.”

“Does she still flip out on rare occasions, you know, like at a moment you never predicted the slightest?”

Jongin then was remembered at when Naeun forgot her passcode and had begged him to give her his. Also the time when she flipped to her entire office the next day because he made her do some math. And the time when her fiancé came to her office for a lunch break, but she ended up crying at a bus stop two hours later.

“She does, but I’m sure she has her own reasons.”

Hyorin then threw back her head and covered with her hand. Her husky voice somehow made her laugher very addicting. 

“I knew it. She’s been a freak like that since high school. Oh and I’m her high school senior actually. But she never thinks of me that way. She’s hated me since I first stole her crush. I was only saving her life to be honest. That guy was a jerk if they were actually dating.”

“Well let’s just say she never had the best smile when she mentioned about you to me.”

“I bet she didn’t even look neutral.”

“She scowled.”

“I thought so.”

“She was very grumpy I thought she would breathe fire.”

“Ohhoho,” Hyorin snapped at Jongin playfully before bursting into laughter. “You’re dead if she hears you.”

“It’s okay. She’s usually oblivious to things around her.”

“I disagree when it comes about her.”

“She’s at a safe distance.”

“Aren’t we all glad about that, huh?” Hyorin asked again, and then laughed in unison afterwards.

THIS was hell, Naeun thought. Yongguk hasn’t stopped talking about his achievement in designing the restaurant in Namsan Tower and he certainly had no intention of stopping, until the host on stage  finally cued the stage play time.

“Oh, there’s also a play?” Yongguk smiled in excitement. “I remembered one time when I was in Paris, and my friends treated me to Hamlet play and it was very, very amazing I had to reserve another ticket for the second screening in London. Have you been to any Shakespeare’s play? You should because it will be your best memory in life, trust me.”

“If I have extra free time to spare like you, I would already be on my way to London now.”

Yongguk laughed just as generously seeing Naeun responded so actively to his stories.

“But what play is this?”

“Oh, you’ll like it. It’s kind of different than Shakespeare, but just as famous.”

“Oh, I see. What’s it called?”

Just when Naeun was about to say the name, the host on stage has asked the guests to kindly give the casts a big hand of applause.

“Three Bears and Goldilocks, ladies and gentlemen,” the host shouted with such passion Naeun thought he never needed the microphone.

“Even the emcee is super excited. I hope you are as well,” Naeun jeered with her sweet smile and a tilt to her head but Yongguk was already frowning and flustered.

“I-I guess I am.”

HYORIN’s laughter was a few loud of cheers that could be heard during the applause once the host has exited the stage.

“Is this for real? Three Bears and Goldilocks?”

“We like to stand out in the crowd.”

“Whose idea is this?”

“The obvious answer would be Naeun, but I don’t know if you’ve already thought of that.”

Hyorin laughed again, her eyes almost welled up with tears. Jongin passed her a napkin and Hyorin thanked him for his friendly gesture.

“Yeah. Naeun likes to be different.”

Jongin shrugged his shoulders a little and continued to focus on the play on the stage when Hyorin has settled from her laughter.

SURPRISINGLY, the play was well received by the crowd despite getting mixed response in the beginning. Right before the casts bowed down for the curtain to draw, Hyorin has to end early for her night.

“We haven’t yet to reach the dancing part,” Jongin said, but he was not persuasive.

“What do you gotta do when you have a three year old waiting for you at home.”

Jongin smiled, nodded thoughtfully. “I can only understand. May I ask -do you have a son or a daughter?”

“I have a son. Hyejong. And yes the rumor is true, my old, rich husband died some years ago, and I single-handedly raise my only kid.”

“It may not be as bad as it sounds. I don’t believe rumors easily.”

“And I don’t find too many nice people like yourself. What about you? Have you any girlfriend?”

“I don’t actually.”

“Are you waiting for someone special, or is there someone in your mind as we speak now?”

“I don’t know,” Jongin shrugs, surprised at himself of how lightly Hyorin made the subject sound. “I don’t have any thought about relationships. I find them messy and hard to maintain.”

“You sound like a heartbreaker,” Hyorin’s twist to her red lips stirred Jongin on the inside. “Or you have had your heart broken before?”

Jongin looked down with a scratch in his head. “You could make a good detective.”

Hyorin laughed shortly before she leaned forwards to kiss Jongin lightly on his cheek. “I have a fun night tonight, Jongin. Thank you for being a nice company.”

Jongin was startled by the kiss but he quickly urged a kind smile at her and replied, “Pleasure is mine.”

Hyorin grabbed the card that has been sitting on the table and signed her name at bottom left of the paper. She handed Jongin the card and grabbed her coat.

“You don’t have to send me off. My assistant is here with me.”

Jongin stood up and offered Hyorin a respectful bow before waving her goodbye. “Drive safely.”

Hyorin smiled back and waved him goodbye before turning around and walked past the VIPs who greeted her along the way. Jongin watched Hyorin’s back slipping through crowd and into the exit entrance before getting back to his seat. He took the card and read it.

NAM HYORIN – KRW 40,000,000

He was certain his eyes would pop out any moment so he quickly closed the card and put it carefully on the table.

Jesus Christ!

NAEUN looked through the phone and was surprised to learn that the time was only 9.30 PM. Her play was long done, and she was amazed at how the casts played their parts professionally. Yongguk was even more amazed by the performance.

“That was incredible! I liked the idea of staging a nursery’s tale into a play. It’s fresh and unique. And I especially loved the part when the Little Bear cried because his chair broke. That was art. Pure and content art. If the play was a painting I would buy it.”

If you were the painting I would let dogs on you.

But I first need to get me some dogs.

Naeun could only nod and smile and nod some more during the whole time Yongguk was babbling about something uninteresting about Monet paintings and the authentic ones Yongguk managed to purchase. She looked around the crowd, and envied them for having a good time with their respective dates, and here she was, stuck with a woodpecker who has a little idea of letting Naeun do the talking.

She turned to her right just in time to see Hyorin was walking past her parents’ table and was puzzled of Hyorin’s early leave for the night. She carefully leaned back and realized Jongin was alone at his table. But it was not for long until Jongin was seen to rise from his table and proceed ef to the charity counter when you drop the fund card signed by your respective dates. Naeun looked back in front, smiling at Yongguk and his never-ending story about God-knows-what.

“And there this one time-”

“Magnificent,” Naeun interrupted suddenly with a small applause.

“Huh? I haven’t gotten to the magnificent part yet-”

“Simply inspiring. If anything, Yongguk, your endless stories of, I don’t know, life spices, has been really, really inspiring for a young, budding woman like me who feels aspired to actually apply those – stuff – in my life. Now, if you could excuse me, I need some fresh air to process all that you’ve generously shared with me and give me more time to get ready for, well,  more.”

“Oh – do you need me with you? It’s cold out there.”

“It’s perfectly fine, you caring man you,” Naeun giggled a bit, scrunching her nose out of annoyance, though it was misinterpreted by Yongguk as an act of innocence. “I can manage on my own. I’m a big girl.”

“Okay. But you should hurry up because the dance is up next.”

“Oh my I couldn’t wait,” Naeun said in a delighted tone before pushing her chair back and walked off.

NAEUN was walking towards the exit but she was stopped by the guards who were watching the door. The two looked unsettling but they approached her anyway.

“May I ask where are you going?” asked the skinny guard who looked like his uniforms were three sizes bigger.

“Just out here,” Naeun said, faking a smile. “There are too many people inside and I’m feeling a bit claustrophobic.”

“I’m sorry Miss, but reporters are everywhere. And your father specifically informed us to make sure you stick throughout the program.”

“Well I’m not bailing if that’s what you’re worried about.”

The guard paused and exchanged glances between his partner and shrugged at Naeun’s explanation.

“Is the fountain safe?”

“Pardon Miss?” The guard asked politely.

“The fountain. Is it safe? Do we have reporters lurking around the corner?”

“I believe no,” the guard said. “We have our team down by the floral park.”

“Good. I’ll be there. You know where to find me if something happens.”

“Do you need someone to you?”

“I’ll be fine. I won’t take long.”

“Alright Miss,” the guard nodded before making way for Naeun to pass through.

Good God, I’m not even president’s daughter.

“HOW did you pass through the tight security system, Kim Jongin?” Naeun asked from behind ash she neared him with gentle footsteps. Naeun crossed her arms, only realizing that the night was indeed very cold.

“The question is how did you pass through?”

“I asked you first,” Naeun looked up at him and secured an empty spot besides Jongin who was looking out into the floral park.

“The guard that watches the door is my classmate.”

“That skinny guy whose uniform looks too big on him?”

“That skinny guy is Eunhyuk, and yes, he’s the one.”

“He’s good at doing his job. I almost punched him in the face for being such a busybody.”

“I shall convey your compliment to him.”

“Huh,” Naeun scoffed dryly. She rubbed her arms and stared down at her white pale feet under her gown. Jongin glanced at her momentarily and smiled to himself.

“You look great in that gown by the way.”

Naeun looked down to restudy her dress and turned to him next to study his appearance. “And you’re not wearing the suit I gave you.”

“Yeah,” Jongin chuckled softly. “Did I hurt your ego?”

“Nope,” Naeun shook her head. “You just practically squashed my woman pride, but that’s alright. That’s just you being you.”

“On a lighter note,” Jongin said suddenly. “I’ve got a great company tonight. So, I got you to thank to.”

"So did she leave early? That's a shame."

“Yeah. She has her son waiting for her at home. But overall we had good talk, and I managed to score a solid 40 million won for the charity, which was surreal by the way.”

“Huh,” Naeun snorted judgingly. “Too bad I don’t come out here to listen to you yapping about your happy date to me.”

“Why are you out here then?”

I wanna run away from talkative Yongguk but that would mark your second victory over me, so I’ll have to scratch that.

“I just feel like taking some fresh air.”

“It's a cold night, and your face is turning blue for God’s sake. Fresh air sounds like a bad idea for you right now.”

“It’s my make-up. It’s the latest trend nowadays.”

“Pink cheeks, red nose, watery eyes – those are the latest trend? What am I? A 4 year-old?” Jongin grunted a bit looking at the stubborn rolling her eyes and he rushed to take off the suit. He draped it warm and cozy around Naeun’s bare shoulder and even helped fixed her hair that was loosening from the knot.

“It’s weird seeing you so nice like this,” Naeun snapped in the moment to distract herself from falling for his kind gesture. “It doesn’t suit your evil image.”

“I just don’t want you to get cramps under this condition,” he said simply, inserting his cold hands into the pockets.

“I won’t. I’m wearing a long dress if you didn’t notice.”

“I noticed alright. And also your trembling shoulders.”

Naeun shut her lips and pulled the suit close to her skin. “Thank you.”

“That’s more like it,” Jongin smirked and glanced over at Naeun from the corner of his eyes. “And I guess you should be heading back inside. My friend might show up if you spend more time out here. How could a host leave her party, right?”

“What about you? I mean, because you are now - date-less, it would probably be awkward-"

“I guess I should go home then. I don’t really like this kind of high-class event. There’s too many rich people around. I’m beginning to feel claustrophobic.”

“That does not make any sense.”

“I know. I’m just trying to make excuses.”

“Walk me in?”

Jongin turned to face Naeun and her eyes sparkled under the low light condition. He saw her smile and that small gesture was enough to spark something strange but ecstatic inside him. He was sure he felt it before when Taemin was around, but now he was not so sure anymore.

“Sure.”

*** 

Okay first of all- SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING FOR ALMOST A MONTH 

You guys might  be (or not) tortured by my recklessness so I want to apologize. But I have my own reasons. Pretty cliche where they range from a hectic college life to family suff to my own personal matters.

But here is the update, so I hope all is good MUEHUEHU

For now .__.

I have midterm coming up in a less than two weeks, and it goes on on for about 3 weeks, so, I guess I should be giving you early warning that I might not be able to update until maybe my midterm is all done, but we'll see, because I might be able to squeeze in some updates hehe

Pray for me lel T.T

And my heart breaks into tiny million pieces now that Luhan wants out of EXO and has terminated his contract and basically just drowns all our ships.

I bid farewell to Luhan. I may not see him on TV anymore (unless he appears on China medias which, btw, is hard for me, personally, to watch)

I really felt like crying going thru some Xiuhan tags on tumblr (Xiuhan shipper) and their last kiss at Luhan's last concert in Beijing is techincally a bad way to rub in my open wound sobseeuu

AND CHOHAN OMG LETS NOT EVEN TALK ABOUT THE NEVER-GOING-TO-HAPPEN-ANYMORE CHOHAN MOMENTS LIKE IT'S COMPLETELY BURIED 82725729 FEET UNDERNEATH THE GROUND

I'm too sad to continue so yeah...buhbye *cries under bed*

/play Don't Go by EXO because Luhan pls don't go but your happniness matters so I shall not be selfish/

//I'm hyperventilating because I know ot12 is forever but they can't all be together on the same stage ever again//