THEN

SEPTEMBER 2014

JONGIN still has nightmares about it – the loud explosion from the gun, the bloodstain splattered across the small room, the last farewell from his only best friend. Jongin wasn’t there with him in the same room when it happened but he did see it coming. It was the matter of time. Occasionally when the two were out on their usual Fridays nights, Taemin would talk about committing suicide when he got drunk. Jongin specifically remembered Taemin telling him the options available to committing a suicide.

“There’s pills, but it kinda . You have to feel the suffering first, and you don’t always die from the impact, which will only make things worse. And then these pretentious people will start shooting questions - ‘Why did you do it? What went wrong? Are you fine?”

Jongin’s head nodded in agreement as he swallowed hard his sixth shot of soju but the pain he felt inside never diminished. “I guess so.”

“There’s hanging by the rope, pretty old-school, and I don’t want to creep people out when they discover my lifeless body.”

You meant me?

“What else is there?”Jongin asked too casually, bloodshot eyes staring hopelessly into Taemin’s eyes.

“Guns,” Taemin smiled, before breaking into a cheeky grin, making it sound more like an accomplishment rather than a heartbreaking confession.  Jongin pulled back Taemin’s half-empty glass to let his head fall into his own folded arms.

“It won’t get messy,” Jongin commented, pouring himself another drink. He needed to feel numb that night. It hurt him just as much having to hear his only best friend considering death options.

“I know,” Taemin agreed in a muffled voice. He was getting sleepy from the sound of it. “And quick too.”

“Yeah.” Jongin gulped down another shot and leaned in close to Taemin’s ears. “Or you can try living.”

But there was no sound – or any sort of response -  from his best buddy.

Better get used to that, huh.

NOW

MARCH 2017

NAEUN was busy browsing through the latest Dior collection for summer 2018 when her nervous secretary nudged her in the elbow underneath the glass table. She lifted her chin curiously, then flashed an awkward grin at all the grave look she received from the board of the directors.

“Yes?” She asked too innocently.

“Yes?” Mr. Tan repeated in a cynical manner. “We did not expect a question in return of our question, Miss Son.”

Naeun’s brows collided, utterly perplexed about why was she involved in this meeting in the first place. What was this meeting even about?

“You need to do better. I expect better things from you,” Naeun finally said.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard the man,” another man from across the room, known as Mr. Lee aka the -kisser said confidently. He turned to Naeun with a cheeky smile. “But of course, Miss Son. We should never even asked you about that petite matter? Changing all the exercise machines in our gymnasium to new ones is always a better thing to do, am I right?”

“Yes. Exactly,” Naeun said, head nodded, and returned back to her online-shopping. The board was silence for a moment before shrugging to one another.

“Miss Son,” a lady dressed all-black raised her hand. Naeun lifted her gaze, pokerfaced, and raised her brow at her.

“Yes Miss Song?”

“It’s Miss Seo,” the lady softly corrected, face flushed, but she knew Naeun didn’t give enough care to it. She would still forget about it in the next meeting. “The equipment is in fact still brand new. They all are still functioning well, and none of them are out of use. Don’t you think we might waste some money doing a big change on the things that aren’t even broken?”

“I don’t,” Naeun shrugged, pursing her glossed lips. “Do you?”

The lady gasped, and gave Naeun a small shake at the head. “I guess not.”

“Great,” Naeun smiled. She stood up and grabbed her LV purse that was handed by her secretary. “I guess that is all. You’ve worked hard, people.”

The directors all rose in unison to send Naeun off. Mr. Tan loosened his tie to gasp in some air when she was out of earshot. The air was circulating well in the sophisticated meeting room but he still found it hard to breathe every time Naeun chaired any meeting.

“That would cost greatly to change everything in the gym. Has she lost her mind? I bet she had not any clue at all about what she was talking about.”

NAEUN strut proudly towards her Audi sedan that was parked in front on the hotel grand entrance. She took the keys from the valet and nodded as an act of acknowledgment to him.

“Miss Son,” Mina, her heavily pregnant secretary called from behind, panting and but still waddled towards Naeun.

“Yes?”

“I just wanna remind you about the meeting with our shareholders tomorrow at 7.00 am, and then at 10 – hoo hoo,” Mina shut suddenly, then let go to gasp in some air into her lungs. She slowly rubbed at her chest to ease her chestpain. “I’m never getting pregnant, like again.”

“You always said that before you ended up getting pregnant, like again,” Naeun jeered jokingly.

“Anywho, just don’t be late for tomorrow’s shareholders meeting okay. That is very important, and you father will be joining you.”

“I thought we just had a meeting with the shareholders.”

“They are the board of directors.”

“Oh!” Naeun finally nodded. “Okay. Whatever. Anything else?”

“I need to talk to you about my labor leave.”

“Wait, what? No! No! Not the labour leave! Please, like seriously Mina, just where do you think I can find someone as good as you for my secretary? You get me. You happen to be the only who gets and understands and is capable of fulfilling my need. I can never manage without your well-organized reminders and plans.”

“Calm down now,” Mina reached for Naeun’s hands. “Look, I’ve got it all under control. I’ve gone over some internship applications some time last week and decided that it’s best to find a qualified intern to fill in for me while I’m out to get this blood- baby out of my body.”

“Interns? Are you serious? They don’t know what they’re doing. They’re lazy, slowpokes and most of all, none of them, I’m more than sure, could handle all of this,” Naeun argued, hands gesturing at her whole body. “Trust me. I know me.”

“That- I couldn’t help but agree, but it will only be for a month. Or more, but not more than 3 months, I promise. You let the interns do their works, and don’t worry I’ll brief them thoroughly, and then just grade them anyway you like once I’m all set to go back to work. Internship is like the easiest to handle, ever.”

“Are you sure? I don’t know. Maybe we should not hire interns. I mean, Mina, c’mon, even I don’t know what I do sometimes at work-”

“Like giving unnecessary make-over to the gym just now?”

“Don’t push it,” Naeun said spitefully, giving Mina a warning look. “My point is that, interns aren’t good enough for me. I need someone qualified, someone who knows inside out about hotel management.”

“Their field of work involves reminding you about tomorrow’s schedule, making sure you’re not late and nudging you in the elbow in the meeting rooms every time you lose focus. Really now Naeun, what do you honestly think I do every day?”

“Exactly why I don’t think interns are cut out for that serious .”

“Don’t worry, okay,” Mina squeezed both of Naeun’s arms and gave her toothy grin. “I trust you. I trust your judgement. I know you can still pull it off without me by your side. Okay?”

 “Not okay.”

“Looks like I have to treat you to a lunch today.”

“You cannot bribe me with lunch, Mina, seriously where are your principles?” Naeun scoffed, crossing her arms and rolled her eyes. Mina raised her brow at the sulking Naeun, also crossing her arms – though it was more to resting her folded arms on her big belly.

“Ugh. I hate you.” Naeun finally groaned and opened the door of the car, automatically ushering Mina to her seat.

Mina smiled and thanks her friend despite the struggles she faced whilst getting into the leathered seat. “I like how you’re totally consolable.”

“I’m only doing it for your fourth child, Mina.”

“It’s the third one. You need to really concentrate on your surroundings, on the things that are actually happening. I’m really worried about you sometimes.”

“Well I’m not.”

JONGIN unpacked the last box of shoes and began organizing them neatly in the racks. He then closed the door after all the shoes were in their place.

Sehun walked through the living room with both hands carrying some thrash. He got down to the entrance and handed the trash to Jongin.

“What?” Jongin grunted. He hated this scene.

“Excuse me for refusing to be your servant. This is your trash, young man. Take’m out yourself.”

“Excuse you those aren’t mine. I haven’t moved in here yet.”

“That’s not even funny. Seriously, take these out.”

“Or what?”

“Or I’m leaving, man.”

Jongin laughed mirthlessly and crossed his arm.

Sehun grinned with sly smirk lifting the corners of his small mouth. “Take these out or I will get out myself. Trust me; you won’t like the idea of unpacking all those endless boxes of your clothes, man – alone.”

“Oh you’re smart,” Jongin pointed out sharply and drew his hands out to take the trash. “Too smart.”

THE night probably couldn’t get any more cold. Naeun have been rubbing both her arms to let out some heat but instead she only felt her arms throbbing of tiredness. She cursed at the night, hating herself for forgetting her new apartment passcode. Naeun took out her phone and began punching Mina’s number.

“Naeun.” The line finally connected at the sound of Mina’s sleepy voice. “What is it? Wait, what time is it?” Pause.  Mina’s next tone went slightly higher from the first time she picked up the call. “I’m seriously gonna need you to pay me extra with this off-work intrusion. What is it?”

“You talk a lot for someone who just woke up. It’s only 9.43 PM.”

“You don’t get to give me that talk when you’re not due in less than 3 weeks, okay.”

“I’m sorry, Mina. I don’t mean to bother you at this time of night. You know how I roll, right? I don’t abuse my workers-”

“Nope. You just torture them endlessly. Seriously, what is it? My eyes are getting heavier than washing machines as time passes.”

“I don’t get your metaphor-”

“Dammit Naeun, what is it?!”

“Did you just yell at me, Lee Mina?”

“I will have to end this conversation if you’re only calling me to hear my voice.”

Naeun narrowed her eyes and scoffed. “No! It’s just that – I don’t, know –remember - the passcode to my apartment. I feel like crying already.”

“Your apartment? I thought you’re going to your parents' house tonight?”

“Can we please not talk about that? Look, I reset my passcode some nights ago and now I can’t seem to recall it, and now, I am stuck outside the front door to this damn building. I can’t get in. Can you please do something? What do I do? I’m ing lost.”

“Of course you’re ing lost - you never recall anything. The only thing you won’t ever forget is bother me – dammit Naeun - I’m sorry for the curse words I use but I’m really going crazy right now. I hope you understand me. Hormonal stuff.”

Naeun sighed and turned her back to lean against the glass door. “Just tell me what to do. I really don’t wanna go back home tonight.”

 “I understand,” Mina said softly under her breath at the end of the line. “Have you tried contacting the supervisor?”

 “I don’t have the number.”

“Then try calling someone inside and explain your situation to him.”

“There’s no one inside. I think these people are slacking off.”

Mina sighed heavily at Naeun’s answer. “You are killing me.”

“Hey it’s not my fault they hire some slackers to do the night shifts.”

“Just tell me the name to your apartment building. I can probably ask my husband to find out the number for you. Just give us a minute and I’ll call you back, okay?”

“Okay,’ Naeun’s thin lips broke into a genuine smile. “I could kiss you right now.”

“Change that into an extra digit in my paychecks, okay?”

“Goodnight now,” Naeun dismissed flatly. “And hurry up. It’s a very chilly night.”

“Why did you think I was sleeping earlier?!” The line then went dead without a proper goodbye from her friend.

Naeun shrugged and kept her phone away. She got down from the stairs and decided to take some night walk to let out some sweat. The night was getting darker and she couldn’t stand the chilliness.

It didn’t occur to her how bad the idea sounded until her pump heel got caught in the manhole cover.

Oh . Oh .

Naeun’s face winced, grunting sound couldn’t help but escaped from the tightly shut mouth as she tried her best to pull out her foot. No need for the night walk, she guessed, seeing how nervous she was at getting rid of the stuck part.

Naeun felt like crying but she held back. It was dark and she didn’t want to lure any unwanted attention to herself. Naeun stared down into the darkness and saw the rhinestones embedded at the tip of her pump shone brightly.

You’re brand new, custom-made Jimmy Choo classic pump and I’m not gonna leave you here. Just hold on, baby. Mommy’s gonna take us out of this mess.

Naeun lifted her chin, eyes wildly scanning around the closest area to ask for assistance from any nearby stranger. All hope has not lost yet when she finally discovered some guy dressed in a trench coat, hooded cap covering half of his face got out from the apartment where she lived.

You look like some flasher starting his night shift but you live in the same apartment as I do so I don’t see the harm in trying to ask for your help. And maybe even rephrasing the idea I have about you.

Only when the stranger was close enough Naeun started to call for him. “Excuse me, sir?” Her voice shook but she knew any woman would in this kind of situation. “I, kinda, need your help, sir.”

*****