"ZiFan you have to be strong,"

Those words have been engraved in his head since he was a little kid until now. They tell him to stay strong but staying strong for him is a hoax. He can never stay strong.

He thought that he could finally have a chance at staying strong but it crashed and burned right in front of him. Or better yet, inside him.

He hoped and prayed that everything was just a God awful dream but it wasn't, it was reality and it was time for him to face reality. He didn't want to do anything anymore, or even live anymore honestly. He just hated his life right now.

He didn't know how many people knew about the miscarriage. His parents weren't the ones that would go and blabber stuff like this to people but he still wondered if Baekhyun, Chanyeol, or hell even Chanhyun knew about the loss of the child. He wasn't ready to face his boyfriend right now.

His parents did tell him about Chanhyun's attempt at suicide and it pained him knowing that his boyfriend would even try to kill himself, knowing that he had a child on the way. He was hurting in many ways, but what hurt him the most was his heart.

What killed him the most was finding out the gender of the baby, before the miscarriage. He was waiting until he gave birth to give the child it's name and telling everyone what the baby was but now he didn't have that surprise anymore. Sure he could tell them what the gender was now, but that would cause for more heart break and he wasn't ready to see anyone else cry.

"Zi," he looked over at the door and saw Kang walking in with a baby carrier and Zhuang right behind him. Kang and Zhuang had a child, who was a year old, and everyone especially their own parents didn't support them. The only people that they could go to were ZiFan and Zhuang's grandparents. That's why ZiFan was so hesitant about telling his that he was pregnant.

He gave out a small smile and sat up before he responded with a small, "Hey."

"You look like complete ." Zhuang told his cousin, who rolled his eyes and tried to get comfortable on the hospital bed. "I'm sorry," Zhuang tried to stay on his cousin's good side but knew that he's always been on ZiFan's bad side since they were little.

"How is he?" ZiFan asked, completely ignoring his cousin. Kang smiled and sat on the bed, putting the baby carrier on the chair as his boyfriend sat in the other chair.

"He's fine, but still a little brat." ZiFan chuckled but then the chuckle turned into a few tears being shed. Zhuang wiped away ZiFan's tears, earning a thanks. "How are you?" Kang asked.

"I'm fine, just..." Kang didn't push him. He knew it was already tough enough.

"Did you know the gender?" Kang tried again to spark a conversation. ZiFan nodded and looked at his friend with hurt eyes. "What was it?"

"It was a girl," both Kang and Zhuang sighed heavily and didn't know how to break the atmosphere.

A/N:

And it will end in two chapters, maybe three, who knows ;)

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