It has been two months since the loss of his child and since he's heard of Chanhyun and his parents.

ZiFan had a hard time coping with the loss of something that was inside him, further more his baby girl. He was upset at himself because he wasn't strong enough to hold his daughter long enough for her to see the world. He hated himself and felt like a horrible mother. It hurt him more when he heard about the stunt that Chanhyun pulled but what broke his heart was that Chanhyun never visited him while he was in the hospital.

YiFan never liked Chanhyun and this gave him even more of a reason to hate the teenager. First he knocked up his eldest son, then he left ZiFan pregnant and never gave his son any contact, now he isn't even contacting ZiFan at all. YiFan knew that his son was leaving Chanhyun voicemails but the older never responded to him.

ZiTao has talked to Baekhyun about a week ago but the older didn't tell him about Chanhyun or about what was happening in their life. ZiTao was getting a little anxious because he knew how emotional ZiFan was with things like this.

Yin and Liu have been trying to get their older brother to eat and get out of his room. With their father's permission, they have been going into his room every morning and getting him up from his bed, making sure that he stayed out of his room and ate all of his food.

Yin walked into ZiFan's room and saw his older brother with a blanket over his long body, also hearing a few sniffles coming from the body. He and ZiFan had a strain relationship. They have been at each others throats from three years with constant bickering and blaming each other for everything. Yin walked up to the bed, hoped on it, and moved the cover's away from ZiFan's face. When he saw the tears coming down his brother's face, his heart broke into a million pieces.

He laid down next to ZiFan, while the older wrapped his arm. Yin wiped away a few tears and kissed ZiFan's nose, earning a smile from his older brother.

"Are you okay?" Yin asked in a tiny voice.

ZiFan let a shaky sigh come out of his mouth and tightened his grip on his brother. "I'm fine." Yin nodded and put his head on ZiFan's shoulder. "I love you."

"I love you too," ZiFan smiled and kissed Yin's head before rubbing his brother's back.

Down stairs, YiFan, ZiTao, and Liu were waiting for the two boys to come down stairs but neither of them were on their way so YiFan decided that he would see what's taking the two so long.

When he got to his eldest son's room, he was a tiny body on the bed while a long body was holding the tiny one. YiFan's heart broke because all that he could think about was ZiFan holding his child the way he's holding Yin.

He knocked on the door and the two head perked up, seeing their father standing at the door way.

"Breakfast is ready," that's all he could say before Yin jumped off the bed and ran downstairs. ZiFan sat up and YiFan's heart broke again when he saw the disheveled hair, pale face, and hollow cheeks. "Come on ZiFan, eat something." The boy nodded, got off the bed, and walked to his dad. He put his head on his father's shoulder while YiFan wrapped his arms around ZiFan.

"It hurts alot." ZiFan admitted.

YiFan sighed, pulled his son away from his shoulder, and gave him a stern but soft look. "I know that this is something that me and your mother would never experience but seeing you go through something like this is hurting us more than you. ZiFan, we don't want to see you killing yourself and that won't solve anything. You will leave behind parents, brothers, and friends that will be devastated if you leave us. We love you but you need to pull yourself together." YiFan brought the teen in another hug when he saw the tears forming in his son's eyes. "We're not ready to lose you, no one is ready. Just stay strong and remember that you have a family with you."

ZiFan broke the hug and gave his dad a weak smile. "Thanks daddy."

"You can always come to me or your mother." YiFan stopped and ran his fingers through ZiFan's hair. "But mostly your mother because I think that he will be able to handle a situation like this more softer than I did."

"Yeah but I wouldn't listen to mom because he's not as stern with me like you are." YiFan kissed his son's forehead and pushed him out into the hallway, earning a glare from the teen.

For once in a longtime, ZiTao and YiFan could actually say that they felt like a family. There was no tension or bickering. Just laughing and jokes around the table.

After breakfast, ZiTao and ZiFan were in the kitchen cleaning the breakfast dishes while YiFan was in the living room with the twins watching Frozen. YiFan never fully understood why his sons like this movie so much. Yin like that talking snowman while Liu liked the one girl that can make ice. YiFan never caught the names unlike ZiFan and ZiTao.

"Daddy, it's Olaf!" Yin yelled out when he saw the snowman on the screen.

YiFan let out a small smile, but then it turned into a frown. "How the hell can a snowman talk?" He mumbled under his breath but Liu heard him.

The younger twin gave his dad a smile before saying, "Because Elsa made him, duh!" It still amazed YiFan that Liu was just like ZiTao.

The doorbell rang and YiFan was about to get it but ZiFan yelled out that he would get it. YiFan gave his son a tiny chuckle before tears started to form in his eyes as he was forced to watch this horrible movie.

ZiFan looked through the peep hole but then stepped back when he saw who it was. He went back into the living room with his hands covering his eyes before making his way into the kitchen. YiFan saw his son making his way and decided to go check on him.

ZiFan held the napkin to his eyes and was trying to calm down his breathing like his mother was telling him too but he was having a hard time trying to. ZiTao rubbed ZiFan's back and made sure that the teen was staying stable and wasn't going to have an anxiety attack.

"Who was at the door?" YiFan asked. ZiFan almost cried harder but his mom brought him in a hug and started to soothe him to relax. YiFan could only guess who it was.

"Don't do anything you'll regret," ZiTao told his husband but YiFan drowned him out.

YiFan swung the door opened and glared at the teenager. Chanhyun lowered his head when he saw ZiFan's father and felt intimidated from the glare that the older man was giving him.

"You now come?" Chanhyun could only nod but e wasn't expecting to get hit. He was about to yell but then saw ZiFan at the door, face red from either anger or crying.

"You never saw me! You didn't even check to see if I was okay at the hospital! I ing hate you, you ing !" ZiFan was about to hit Chanhyun again but his mom pulled him back. ZiFan's breathing was labored and his whole body was shaking.

"I just came to explain,"

"Explain what?" He could hear the anger from ZiFan and felt terrible. "You ing left me when I needed you the most!"

"I was in ing rehab ZiFan! Are you ing happy?!" The younger covered his mouth while more tears fell from his eyes. "I wanted to get clean, not only for myself but for you and our child. I got out of rehab two days before you lost it and I had a relapse. When my mom told me that you had a miscarriage, I went back to rehab because I couldn't trust myself anymore. I'm sorry that I never called you or anything and I felt like the test boyfriend in the world. I'm so sorry."

ZiFan covered his stomach, his hand still at his mouth. He walked out of his apartment and went into the arms of his boyfriend. YiFan and ZiTao both let out breathes that they didn't know they were holding and decided to let them be alone, but they kept the door opened.

ZiFan looked up and kissed Chanhyun's cheek. "It was a girl," he felt Chanhyun tighten his grip and his boyfriend's face twisted in despair. "She'll always be the first." Chanhyun nodded and kissed ZiFan's lips.

A/N:
Long update!!! Who's happy?????

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