The Friday filming just finished, and I’m exhausted.  We had to run with him.  Seriously?  How romantic is a jog?  But the good news is... 

   I didn’t get cut.  

   I shower as quickly as I can when I get back to my dorm and let my hair dry naturally.  It’s straight, for the most part, so I should look okay when I get to the loft.  Hyerin and I are walking together and I have five minutes to get ready.  I quickly draw a black triangle on the tip of my nose and add whiskers.  I put on a loose sweater and a cotton A-line skirt, black flats and Hyerin’s cat ears.

   “Cute enough?”  I ask her.

   “You’re always cute,” she answers and starts out the door.  I follow her closely and we’re at the loft in twenty minutes.

   When the door opens, all I can smell is alcohol, and all I can see are people grinding on each other.  I don’t even know who all of the guys are; I’ve never seen them in my life.  

   Hyerin is quick to sit on Luhan’s lap and drink from the can he has in his hand.  I don’t even want to think about what’s in there.  Sehun appears out of nowhere, and when he sees me I can tell he’s sober.  He grins that typical grin of his and suavely walks over to me.  

   “You’re beautiful,” he yells over the music.  I smile and tuck a piece of hair behind my ear.

   “That’s a weird thing to say to a cat!”  I yell back.

   “I only say it to my favorites,” he responds.  We both smile at each other, and then Baekhyun pops up from behind him.  I make an unpleasant face and Sehun turns around to see what he wants.  

   “Can we talk?”  Baekhyun asks me.  Sehun nods, like it’s okay, and I tell him yes.  Baek leads me to the balcony.  I never noticed it the last time I was here-- it was covered by drapes.  It’s a fairly small balcony, and I’m much too close to Baekhyun for comfort, but I have no choice but to remain calm.  He wants to have a civilized conversation with me, and I want to, too.  This could solve a lot of things between us. 

   “I’m really, really sorry about the other day,” he says.

   “Me too,” I agree.  I tuck another piece of hair behind my ear and sigh.  “But I’m here for Sehun now--”

   “I know, I know,” he stops me from speaking.  “I just...  I need to tell you something.  It’s been weighing down on me ever since I kissed you.” 

   I clutch the railing of the balcony and swallow hard.  We never really talked about that kiss, and talking about it now feels super awkward because I’m (sort of) with Sehun.  He takes a sip of his beer and stares off into the distance for a short while.

   “I hope I don’t remember this,” he laughs while raising his can.  I raise an eyebrow and he inhales deeply.  “You see, Eunji...  I’ve always thought you were cute, but I never really had a thing for you.  At least, not in a romantic aspect; being friends with you is pretty awesome.”  

   “What?”

   “I guess I should be more direct,” he sighs.  He rakes his hand through his hair and turns to face me.  “Eunsang was paying me to date you.  I kissed you for some bonus money.  She always paid for our dinners.  She wanted you to stay away from Sehun at all costs, and I was dumb enough to believe it’d be okay if I went along with it.”

   I can’t believe what I’m hearing.  I feel like fainting.  I gave this guy my first kiss.  

   “After I kissed you and you acted so cute, I started feeling bad.  You’re the nicest person I’ve ever met, and I did something terrible.  I got mad at you the other day because I thought I’d give you a chance and try to actually like you, but you had already moved on to Sehun.  I was going to pretend it never happened; I even stopped accepting money from Eunsang. But now that you’re with Sehun, I have to clear my guilty conscience.  I’m so, so sorry.”  

   “So what you’re saying is...  You never liked me?”

   “I like you very much, right here, right now.  As a friend.  But I was paid to take you on dates, and it took me a while to start actually enjoying your company.”  

   I’m so mad at him right now, but I’m also pretty accepting of his choices.  I want to scratch his cute face off, tear up all of his Taeyeon posters, and wash my lips until the end of time.  At the same time, I know I’d be a hypocrite if I did that.  

   Let’s face it.  We were both paid to make someone fall in love with us.  

   I may have the upper hand in this situation, since Sehun and I are (again, sort of) a thing, but Baekhyun’s actions were the same as my initial ones.

   “It’s okay,” I tell him, and his eyes widen.

   “But--”

   “No, really.  We’re a lot alike, don’t you think?  Making money for enchanting certain people.”  I remember the time that Hyerin said Baekhyun and I were more alike than I would acknowledge.  She was right.  

   “Yeah, but you enchanted a jerk and I enchanted an innocent girl,” he quips.  I can’t help but laugh. 

   “He’s not a jerk, he’s just...  Different.  Sassy.  And trust me, I can handle sassiness.”

   “That red tracksuit screams ‘Sassmaster.’”

   “I know, right?”  I laugh.  I see Baekhyun fidgeting with the can in his hand, and I’m a bit fascinated by it.  What’s the big deal with alcohol?  It’s really bad for you, and who knows what kind of trouble you can get into when you’re drunk.  

   Even so...  I think I’m going to snatch it away from him.  I know I shouldn’t hold a grudge against him, but I can’t lie to myself and pretend everything is okay.  Maybe a sip of this will help me feel better.

   He took my first kiss, after all.

   “Are you feeling okay?”  He asks me, genuinely concerned.  I nod and point at the can. 

   “Can I have the rest of that?”  I ask pathetically.  My voice doesn’t even come out sturdily; it’s more of a whimper mixed with a hoarse voice.  

   “Sehun wouldn’t be happy with you if you had some,” he gently argues.  I grab the can and pull it up to my face.  Baekhyun didn’t even put up a fight, and I figure it’s because he pities me.  

   “Then it’s our secret, okay?  I just need something to lift me up.”     

   I gulp the rest down as quickly as I can before he changes his mind.  I hand the can back to him and shake my head.

   “You kissed me,” I blurt, as if it changes anything.

   “I know, and I’m sorry.  I’m so, so sorry I did it without meaning it.  I want to go back so bad and stop it from happening.”

   “It’s okay,” I mumble and walk away.  I sit at the table inside, which has suddenly become a make-out station for people I don’t know, and I feel like fumes are coming out of my ears and nostrils.  

   How could someone be so cruel?  I’m over Baekhyun, but Eunsang?  I’d even told Baekhyun that she wasn’t completely evil.  I guess this is what he meant when he said she was trying to ruin me.  Great.  Absolutely great.  

---

   My anger is fading away a little bit.  I feel lighter; I guess it’s the alcohol.  Sehun finally finds me and judges the people making out before leaning down to ask if I’m okay.  I stand up and grab his jacket.

   “Let’s go dance,” I shout, and he nods.  When we’re in the middle of the floor, I try to act like nothing happened with me and Baekhyun.  It’s just been Sehun and I this entire time.  I latch my hands behind Sehun’s neck and start shaking my hips.  He’s trying to figure out how to match my movements. 

   “Is everything alright?”  He yells.  His voice is so attractive, even when he’s yelling.  Deep and sturdy.  

   “I’ve just gotta get my mind off some things,” I answer.  He stoops his neck down, smells my breath, and frowns.  

   “You told me you don’t drink.  I stayed sober for you.”

   “I don’t, but I just found out some sad stuff.”

   “Like what?”  

   “Can’t we just dance?”  I whine.  It’s seriously hot in this room, and I want to take my sweater off so badly.  I’m wearing a cami underneath, so why not?

   I take my sweater off and throw it into a corner.  Sehun’s eyes look like they’re about to pop out of his head and I laugh.  

   “What?  You’ve never seen a girl before?”

   “I’ve never seen you act like this before,” he says lightly.  I can barely hear him.  Regardless, I wrap his arms over my shoulders and put my back against his chest.  I keep dancing, and I can tell he’s confused.  

   “Come on; you’re supposed to be some hot-shot dancer,” I complain.

   “I don’t want to do this if you’re going to regret it later,” he says in my ear.  Goosebumps form down my neck.  I hold him against my back for a while longer, then I turn around to face him.  

   “I want you, okay?  I want you right now,”  I yell, and that’s my final straw.  If he’d actually danced with me, I might’ve avoided this.  

   Who am I kidding.  He’s dressed as a hot pirate; I would’ve done this even if I was like my usual self.

   I lock my hands in his hair on the back of his head and lightly push my lips up onto his. At first, his lips stay stiff and refuse to move, but after I linger long enough on his bottom lip he starts kissing me back.  

   Has kissing always been so warm?  I feel like there’s the warmth of Christmas day on my lips.  There’s passion, that’s for sure.  This is what I want to be my first kiss.  Sehun told me he’d make me forget my first one if it wasn’t real, so he better keep his promise.  

    My hands keep running through his hair, and Sehun’s keep traveling up and down my back.  His arms have locked me against his body, and I’m okay with that.  When he pulls away, I attack his collar bone.  I’ve been admiring that thing since I first saw him in a V-neck.  

   “I like you a lot,” I mumble as I continue caressing his neck area.  I feel him pick me up, and I don’t even fidget.  

   “This has been really fun, Eunji, but I’m afraid I won’t accept your confession until you’re in your usual state of mind,” he tells me.  He’s carrying me down the hallway.  Is he taking me to his room?  Maybe we can kiss more, in private.  I’ve never done this before, but what happened just now was great.  

   “Fun hater,” I whine and lean against his chest.  He opens a door and quickly slips into the room.  He shuts the door and I feel my back resting against a bed.  “What are we going to do in here, Sehun?”  I ask in a low voice, both excited and scared at the same time.

   “We’re going to talk,” he says, and I groan.  He pulls a blanket over me and I kick it off.  It’s too hot in this damn loft.  He climbs into bed next to me but stays on top of the covers.  I haul myself at him and keep kissing him.  Sometimes he kisses me back, sometimes he doesn’t.  I pretend he does when he doesn’t.  

   “Stop playing hard to get,” I sigh.  “It’s killing my vibe.”

   He puts an arm under my head, pushes me back, and looks into my eyes.  I soften up and scoot closer to him so I can at least cuddle with him.  

   “What happened when you went to talk to Baekhyun?”  He softly asks.  His room actually does a pretty good job of canceling out the music from outside.  

   “I split a beer with him,” I giggle.  “Except I think I drank most of it.”

   “I think so, too,” he murmurs.  “What did he say to you?”

   “What did he say to me?” I repeat.  I smile and gaze at Sehun through my squinted eyes.  “He said he never liked me.  He was paid to take me on dates and kiss me.  By.  Eunsang,” I tell him.  He places his other hand on my waist and I close my eyes.  It feels good laying next to him.  

   “Eunji,” he calls softly, “I’m so sorry.  I should’ve seen it coming and warned you.”

   “Shhhhhhhh,” I say and stick a finger to his lips.  “It doesn’t matter, as long as you kiss me so well that it makes me forget him.”

   “You won’t remember if I do, sweetheart,” he cooes.  

   “I love that pet name,” I chirp.  I pull myself even closer to him so that our entire bodies are touching.  “And sure I will.  I remember the first time I got drunk, and most everything that happened.”

   “But I don’t want you to wake up tomorrow and think I took advantage of you.”

   I give him a soft peck and he kisses me back.  

   “Fine then.  Just kiss me a little bit and I’ll go to sleep.”  

   And he does.  He kisses me softly; whenever it turns into make-out mode he pulls away, but he almost always keeps his lips on mine.  

   “You better tell me you like me tomorrow morning.  I’m taking care of you tonight,” he laughs. 

   “How lucky am I,” I swoon and roll over.  Sehun softly runs his fingers up and down my back until I fall asleep.  

a/n: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAT JUS HAPPND drowning in the feelz