“You still haven’t told me who you like,” I press.  I’m with Sehun and Hyerin at the library, and it’s Tuesday.  We’re pretty much done with the project; we’ve just decided to form a study group.  Yesterday’s filming was pretty boring.  We went to a book shop and read scenes from Romeo and Juliet, which is my least favorite Shakespeare play ever.  Sehun likes it, for some unknown reason.  I’m not curious to find out.  Whenever someone likes that play, it’s an automatic turn off. 

   “Because he likes you, duh,” Hyerin blurts.  I love this side to her.  It’s so aloof and to the point.  It used to aggravate me, but now I give her credit for being so outspoken. 

   “No I don’t,” Sehun counters.  Hyerin groans and places her forehead on the table.

   “I don’t get why you won’t admit it.  It’s so painfully obvious.  The way you look at each other is different.  The way you treat each other has changed. The way...”

   She keeps ranting, and Sehun and I keep grinning while we work on our homework.  I steal a peak at him when she talks about how cool Sehun thinks he is, and I sense him looking at me when she talks about Sehun liking me despite the ‘god forsaken tracksuit.’  When she starts talking about our canal date (the first one,) we both sneak a peak at the same time and it’s traumatizing.  Our eyes lock for a solid second before we look back down at our work in embarrassment.  

   “And you know what I just noticed?”  Hyerin continues.  “Your feet are touching.  You’ve been touching each other the whole time we’ve been here, and I’m just now finding out about it?  Who just sits there and lets their feet touch for half an hour without saying anything?”  

   “I really like the feeling of my shoe on her shoe.  Our feet are wet from the rain, so they keep sliding against each other,” Sehun comments.

   “You mean to tell me you’ve been playing footsie?!”  She questions loudly.  Everyone knows Hyerin, so no one in the library stares and judges her.  “Goodness, why don’t you two just make it official already.” 

   “There’s nothing to make official,” I tell her.  “We’re still a part of the Sweetheart Search, and we’re not allowed to date.”

   “Damn that show,” she hisses.  “If I’d known you two would play with me and Luhan’s emotions like this, I would have rallied against this show.” 

   “How are we playing with your emotions, Hye?”  I ask.

   “Because...”  She starts out.  She huffs.  “We’re so worried about you two we can’t confess to one another.”

   “Whoa, whoa, whoa; that is not our fault,” Sehun interjects.  “Luhan could tell you any minute now.  He’s dying to.  But we can’t help it if he’s wimping out.”

   “He’s more of a man than you; you won’t even take Eunji on a date,” she mumbles.  Sehun looks at me, and I shake my head in disagreement, and he smiles.  

   “How do you know that?”  He teases, and Hyerin is up in flames again.  We both laugh at her, and under the table Sehun grabs my hand and squeezes it.  I don’t know why we’re both so stubborn and won’t directly say how we feel, but I like it this way.  I don’t need words to know that he likes me, just as Hyerin and Luhan don’t.  I can feel it every time he grabs my hand or smiles at me.  There’s a little doubt in the back of my mind, and a little bit of belief that he might just be toying with me, but I think that just encourages me to hope and believe more than ever that Sehun likes me.    

---

   “Why have you been ignoring my texts?”  Baekhyun asks when I sign in.  I shake my head and shrug.

   “There’s something between you and Eunsang, and I’m distancing myself from you until you tell me.”

   “Excuse me,” he barks.  I’ve never heard him get mad before.  I was walking off, but I turn to hear what he has to say.  “Something has always been going on between you and Sehun, and I’ve been strung along this whole time.  You don’t have any right to accuse me of two timing.”  

   He’s right, and I’m crushed.  He was there for me multiple times, even when he knew that there was something between Sehun and I.  We weren’t official, though, so I told myself it was okay.  

   It was never okay.  I shouldn’t have done that to him. 

   “I’m sorry, Baekhyun,” I whimper.  There are tears in my eyes, but I’m not letting them roll down my cheek.  “I really, really want to like you.  You’re perfect.  But the truth is, I can’t read you like I read him.”  I’m sobbing intensely, but I hold my ground.  “Besides, it’s not my fault you stuck around.  If you were really hurt by it, why didn’t you just leave me alone so we wouldn’t be in this mess?”  I’m semi-shouting at him, and I want to cuss at him, but the cameramen might rush to our side if they heard me.  

   Baekhyun doesn’t say anything; he’s just angrily staring back at me.  

   “I’m not listening to this,” he says and turns away from me.  

   “I listened to you, so hear me out,” I whine.  He reluctantly turns back around and his head to the side in annoyance.  “I’ll tell you what you’ve been thinking, okay?  I like Sehun.  I like him a lot.  He’s winning me over and you aren’t,” I confess.  His eyes widen and the look of anger disappears.  There’s some guilt in his face now.  “So there.  I hope you’ll come around to tell me what happened between you and Eunsang.  Not right now, because I think we both need to recover, but tell me soon.”

   I walk off and there’s no protesting.  I wipe my tears off of my face and head to the waiting room, glad that Eunsang isn’t there anymore.  I’m not going to cry anymore.  Everything is finally on the table, and I don’t feel bad for liking Sehun anymore.  Not one bit.  

   There are only 8 girls left in the Sweetheart Search, and it will turn to 7 tonight.  I wonder who will get eliminated and be heartbroken, all because of me being in the way. 

   I shouldn’t think like that.  I can’t help that Sehun and I are romantically linked.  It just happened.  He started being sweet to me, and I’ve fallen for it.  

   I think about that day at the library when he told me he liked a girl.  He said he was tough but soft, and nice.  I remember thinking it was Bomi then.  Was it?  She’s still in this contest.  Maybe Sehun likes both of us, just like I liked Baekhyun and him.  

   There’s a small voice in the back of my head that keeps screaming That girl is you, Eunji!  Like I said, I don’t need his words to know how he feels about me.  But making sure I’m the one and only girl he likes would be nice. 

   I’m starting to understand Baekhyun’s frustration even more.  

   Soon enough, it’s my turn to ‘go on a date’ with Sehun.  I step into the entertainment room of this stranger’s (but friend of Sehun’s) house and see him sitting on a plush couch.  When the light from the hallway escapes through the crack in the door, he turns around and greets me with a million watt smile; like I’m what brought in the light, not the open door.  I sit next to him-- not too close, but close enough-- and weakly smile.  He does a cute frown; I’m sure he’s disappointed I didn’t sit closer to him.  He leaves me alone, though. 

   “What are we watching?”  I ask him. 

   “Beauty and The Beast.  I creeped on your Facebook page and saw it was your favorite.”

   My eyes well up with tears again, but they’re thankful tears.  

   “You’re the highlight of my day, you know,” I laugh on top of a sob.  Sehun scoots closer to me until our thighs touch, wraps an arm around me, then puts his face as close to mine as possible without making it look like he’s going to kiss me.

   “Is something wrong?”  

   I shake my head and watch the movie.  He follows my example, but he doesn’t let go of me.  

   Mrs. Potts asks Beast why he let Belle go, and he turns to her with the saddest face ever and says “Because I love her.”

   That line gets me every time, and my emotional state does not support me whatsoever.  I start bawling.  I’m so embarrassed; I look so weak to Sehun, don’t I?  But he keeps rubbing my back and asking me what’s wrong, and telling me it’s okay.  After a minute of nothing but tears, I decide to tell him.

   “I got in a fight with someone, and he made me feel bad for liking y... This other guy.”  I mutter.  He grabs my hand with his free one and rubs my palm with his thumb.  

   “Let me guess,” he softly whispers, “this guy and that guy both kissed you on the right cheek?”

   I laugh.  It’s so, so obvious I’m talking about him, but he’s not forcing it out of me.  He’s letting me know it’s okay to take my time and come to him when I’m ready.  

   “You’re right,” I whisper.  “So I told this guy I liked the other guy more, and that was that.  And I feel better.  But I also feel really bad.”

   “It’s okay, Eunji.  We both know someone else was in his picture, too.  You weren’t even dating,” he soothes.  I nod and put my forehead on his shoulder.  He holds me with both of his arms now, and we stay this way until our filming slot is over.  Sehun instructs the filming crew to leave us alone for a minute, and they do.  

   “I’m sorry I’m so lame,” I laugh.  I’m not crying anymore; I’m just really puffy from crying and look pathetic.  

   “I don’t think you were.  I think the other guy would be very happy to hear what you said.” 

   “I hope so,” I sigh, and my voice cracks.  “And I hope I’m the one he was talking about, who is tough and soft and nice.”

   Sehun grins and gives me a wink.  

   “Who knows.  He might surprise you.”

   Oh.  Se.  Hun.  When did you turn into such a flirt, and when did you start doing this to me?  I feel more alive than ever, but I also feel the most fragile I have ever felt.  

   “He does every day,” I giggle as we get up and walk out of the room.  I might still be puffy and red from crying, but I feel like the most beautiful thing in the world as I walk beside Sehun.