“Where’s Shixun?” Yixing asked before glancing over Lu Han’s shoulder, as if Shixun would be hiding behind Lu Han’s back.

“Clearly he’s not with me,” Lu Han said matter-of-factly, but Yixing could hear the tinge of frustration wrapped around those words.

“Alright, alright,” Yixing said with a sigh before continuing, “a group of visitors will check in today, so we need to check the rooms one last time before they arrive.”

“Alright,” Was all Lu Han said as he followed Yixing.

It was not like Lu Han hated the fact that Shixun was, once again, gone. It was not that he minded it. Okay, maybe he did. However, the reason was because Lu Han felt uneasy with the fact that he did not know where Shixun went off to. All Shixun told him was that he would be at the hostel before lunch time. On the one hand, Lu Han did not pry any further so it was only logical that Shixun did not say any more, but on the other hand, was not it kind of expected to tell where you would be going? Shixun had lost all his memories, and Lu Han was just afraid that he might get himself into trouble. Shixun was his responsibility now. Then again, slowly but visibly it seemed as though Shixun was more than capable of taking care of himself.

“The book you’re holding, it’s from Kaito Akira, who wrote about the passionate love created by a cup of coffee, the kind of love that would be so beautiful to have but so difficult to obtain.”

“When it comes to darts, I won’t lose.”

Lu Han had no clue about Shixun’s identity and was burdened with the responsibility of another person’s life in his hands. If something were to happen to Shixun, who seemed so innocent right now, Lu Han would not be able to forgive himself. He had been a coward back then, but he was not going to be an irresponsible coward. That would violate all his principles and beliefs.

“Minseok won’t tell me anything,” Yixing said as he took one of the pillows and placed it more neatly on the bed, “but he seems stressed these days. I’m afraid it’s because of the hostel again.”

“He shouldn’t keep it all to himself,” Lu Han said, the unhappiness filing him again at the thought of the hostel being in trouble again.

“It’s hard to pay off the debts, and it seems that there are investors who’re interested in this place,” Yixing said with a sour expression, eyes glancing outside the window, “because of the beautiful view of the nature and the famous beach close to the hostel that has been attracting many people’s attention. I heard plans about a director who wants to film a scene for his movie on that beach, so clearly its popularity’s growing.”

“Minseok would never sell this place-” Lu Han said with widened eyes.

“He would never want to,” Yixing said with glossy eyes, “but he might need to. Rumors are spreading that a large hotel chain wants to take over this place and built a huge hotel here. The owner of the hair salon at the corner of the street was talking about how someone recently approached him with an offer to buy his hair salon. He was quite open to the thought, seeing how his business isn’t going that well.”

This side of Incheon was never that crowded and popular. However, as people are getting richer and the thought of enjoying nature was getting more and more implanted in their minds, this place has become more and more popular. However, that also means the supply was getting more and more. Minseok’s hostel was originally the only one so near the beach. However, in recent years another hostel has come, with a more attractive physical appearance, and another decent hotel has been built a small distance away from Minseok’s hostel. Needless to say, business is getting harder and harder for their small hostel.

“Do you know what kind of hotel chain is interested in this location?” Lu Han asked, not really interested but not knowing what to say otherwise.

Yixing’s eyebrows knitted together as he tried to remember the name, “I think it was… RO-… ROYAL? No, wait, that’s not it… I remember it was a very well-known hotel chain… RO-… Ah, I remember, it’s ROYELL!” He nodded at the familiar name, “Yeah, ROYELL.”

Lu Han’s eyes blinked, hearing the name for the first time, “ROYELL?”

»

“Hey, Shixun, it’s your turn to wash the dishes tonight,” Lu Han said as he nudged Shixun’s shoulder, who seems to be calculating something with paper and pen.

Shixun was startled, and quickly looked up, “Eh? Oh, yes, sure, I’ll be doing it in a minute.”

“What are you doing?” Lu Han asked as he sat down on the chair opposite of Shixun, glancing at the writing on the paper, “What are you writing?”

“Ah,” Shixun said before scratching the back of his head, Shixun’s sign of being nervous, “nothing much. Just counting something,” He said as his hands went to hide whatever he was writing.

Lu Han furrowed his eyebrows at this, “Why does it feel like you’re keeping secrets from me? I mean, you didn’t even tell me where you were today. I know you don’t have the obligation to tell me where you went to, but I’m still your cousin-”

“I was with Soojung,” Shixun revealed finally.

Lu Han blinked his eyes at this, eyes widening gradually as the realization finally sank in, “Like, the cold princess Soojung from the hostel?”

Shixun nodded his head, “She wanted me to accompany her somewhere, so that’s what I did.”

It was a surprise to hear that Lu Han had been with Soojung, seeing how the two of them did not really seem to fit in any ways. Well, actually, they did. Soojung was quite a fair lady, if you took away her cold personality towards the majority of the people, with her elegant looks and endless pool of knowledge. The same went for Shixun. Shixun knew a lot. Shixun could do a lot. Shixun was handsome, good looking, had the right features to be adored for. It was not entirely true to say they would not be able to get along with each other.

“Well, you could’ve just told me,” Lu Han said with a small smile, relieved to hear that Shixun was just accompanying one of the visitors.

“I’m not one to tell people everything,” Shixun said honestly.

“It’s okay, I understand,” Lu Han said before patting him on the shoulder, “as long as you tell me when you’re back, alright? And you better treat our visitors nicely, because if we lose even one of them, Minseok’s going to kill you, Yixing’s going to fry you, and I’m afraid I won’t be able to save you.”

Shixun chuckled at this, causing Lu Han’s heart to flutter because that smile was beautiful, as always. Lu Han realized that if there was one thing he really liked about Shixun’s features, it would be the way his eyes would turn into crescent moons whenever he smiled, chuckles escaping his lips. It made Shixun look young and carefree. It was not perfection. It was beauty.

“Yixing would never fry me,” Shixun said in amusement.

“No, he would likely fry me first,” Lu Han mumbled as he recalled Yixing’s fondness for Shixun.

“He’s a nice person, although he’s a little strange,” Shixun said with a smile.

Lu Han nodded his head, “He is. Although he might seem like a stupid annoying person, he actually is a really nice person at heart.”

An agreeing smile formed on Shixun’s lips, causing something to explode inside of Lu Han’s heart. It was not painful, not at all. The explosion just brought a huge impact, but it did not feel bad. It felt good, actually. To feel so much just by seeing the other smile made the world seem so much prettier than he had ever seen.

Lu Han’s world was not grey, but it was not colorful either. Lu Han smiled like he meant it, but it was never effortless. Pretending to be happy, pretending to be alright. It cost energy. Even the thought alone made him feel exhausted already, the burden feeling so heavy on his weak shoulders. For someone who smiled so often, he was able to come to the conclusion that faked smiles cost a lot of energy.  

“Hey, you okay?” Shixun asked, seeing the glum expression on Lu Han’s face.

Lu Han nodded weakly, “Yeah, I was just… Thinking.”

“Hey, you want to play a game?” Shixun asked as he neatly folded the paper and put it in his pocket.

Lu Han’s eyes flickered in surprise, “Game? What kind of game?”

“I dare you to drink a cup of coffee with salt,” Shixun said with a smug smile.

“Coffee with salt?! That sounds terrible!” Lu Han exclaimed.

“Come on, it’s a game. And if you do it, you can dare me to do something to,” Shixun said before standing up and walking to the kitchen counter.

Lu Han was at loss of what to say, “B-But- No way, I’m not going to drink it!”

“It won’t taste bad, I promise,” Shixun simply replied, already busy making some easy and cheap instant coffee that he had seen Lu Han drink so many times.

“Why would I need to drink it? I don’t like this game, I’m not playing,” Lu Han said unhappily while crossing his arms together, “and go wash the dishes. Don’t think I’ll forget it’s your turn.”

“You’re really no fun,” Shixun said with a chuckle.

Lu Han’s glare on the table was so intense it might have been able to cause holes in it, “You’re no fun either.”

The scent of coffee soon filled the room, and although Lu Han refused to look up and glance at what Shixun was doing, he knew that it would only be a matter of time before the coffee would be done. Lu Han was stubborn though, so he refused to look up no matter how tempting it was, because it had actually been the first time Shixun had prepared anything for him. It felt special, in all sorts of way. Like how it felt special when Yixing smiled to him for the first time, or how Minseok hugged him for the first time. It might feel even more special, but Lu Han would not understand why that would be the case. Probably because it had been a while since he was last taken care of like this, although this was not actually taking care.   

“Here you go,” Shixun said before sitting down on the chair on the other side of the kitchen table, “drink it.”

“No way,” Lu Han refused.

“Come on,” Shixun said as he pushed the cup a little bit more to Lu Han, “I dare you.”

The way Shixun said I dare you with that glint in his eyes made Lu Han feel frustrated. It made him feel frustrated because it made him want to drink that cup for the sake of his pride. He hate how Shixun could say those words and affect him so much, so much that he would not be able to say no again. He disliked himself even more for slowly reaching out for the cup, eyes watching the liquid move as he put the cup against his lips. The smell was alright, but he was not sure whether he was ready to taste it.

However, the way Shixun was mockingly looking at him with an amused grin made him gulp down all of it in one shot.

And making him almost choke.

“Hey, hey, calm down,” Shixun said with a chuckle as he reached out to take the cup out of Lu Han’s hand, “I didn’t expect you to drink it all at once.”

Lu Han coughed once more before arguing back, “Well, I’m not going to let you look down on me.”

“And,” Shixun said as he supported his head with his hands while his elbows endured the weight, “how did it taste?”

This caused Lu Han to blink. He had been so concentrated on drinking it, that he forgot to really taste it. A tongue instantly darted out as he his lips, his mind trying to remember the taste of the coffee. His eyes blinked a couple of times before they landed on an amused Shixun. How was it even possible for the coffee to taste-

“Less… Bitter?” Lu Han said.

 Shixun nodded his head, “That’s what salt does.”

“B-But… How?” Lu Han asked, genuinely surprised as he glanced down at his empty cup.

“A pinch of salt can help to reduce the bitterness of the coffee,” Shixun said in his usual soft voice, “It’s unlike sugar, because it doesn’t defeat bitterness by providing sweetness. It mellows the coffee by making its bitterness less strong without making it taste salty. It’s not something you would want to drink often, but it’s a good reminder of something important.”

“Of what?” Lu Han asked as he looked Shixun in the eyes.

Shixun’s smile turned softer at this, “That you don’t need to throw yourself into happiness for the sake of defeating sadness.”

The words would not have affected Lu Han that much if he had been doing exactly what Shixun was telling him. It would not have made such a shockingly huge impact on him if Lu Han had not been running around in circles all this time, adding more and more sugar and cream in his coffee for the sake of getting rid of the bitterness. It would have never made Lu Han want to cry if he had not gotten sick by the huge amounts of sugar he throws in all his coffee but he never cut down the amount for fear of tasting bitterness.

“Y-You…” Lu Han stuttered as his gaze turned unsteady.

Shixun moved his hand to gently pat Lu Han’s head, “I’ve seen your expression when sleeping enough times to say confidently that you’re only yourself when you’re sleeping. Rid of anything that makes you feel tired.”

Nobody knew. Nobody ever got close enough to Lu Han to know about how he really felt. Nobody knew that behind those smiles and laughter and rambling and daydreaming and continuous money earning laid a child that was frightened. Frightened of having nothing. Of being all alone. Of being neglected and forgotten.

“Will you miss me?” Lu Han asked with teary eyes.

“Will you come back for me?” The words cut into his tongue as he forced himself to speak them out.

“Don’t you think that the most pleasant surprises come from the most unexpected things?”

And it made a tear escape his eye at the realization that it was Shixun, from all people, to have seen through it. Shixun, who had barged into his life so suddenly, but had become someone who he shared a room with, had been the one to notice something nobody ever saw. Or rather, something nobody ever bothered looking for.

“Hey, why are you crying?” Shixun said as his eyes widened in shock, “Hey, don’t cry!”

Shixun frantically looked around for some tissues, groaning in frustration when he found none before looking at Lu Han with utmost concern again. He did not know what he was supposed to do, but he really hated it when people cried in front of him. He just could not stand it.

However, Lu Han realized none of this. He did not see how Shixun was looking at him with so much surprise, because he was so drowned in his own memories. There were times when he thought that as long as he pretended hard enough, put enough effort in acting as if things would get better, it really would. He made himself believe that one day he would find his prince on a white horse, who would sweep him off his feet and lead him up the staircase. He made himself believe in it, brainwashed himself with those thoughts because he wanted to make himself believe that even someone like him, who was born out of empty passion and grown up with loveless care, would be able to find happiness one day.

His eyes blinked at the feeling of something touching his cheeks. Even though his vision was blurry, he could make out Shixun’s extended arm and the piece of toilet paper that he was now gently pressing against Lu Han’s cheek.

“D-Don’t cry anymore,” Shixun said in distress, “I won’t k-know what to do w-when you cry like this…”

And even though it was nothing special, nothing worth laughing about at all, but seeing how Shixun was so lost and trying so hard to stop Lu Han from crying made Lu Han smile a little through his tears. It made him smile just the slightest bit that was effortless. It pushed the bad memories back a little, and a little was already more than enough to keep on breathing.

“You’re stuttering,” Lu Han said in a soft voice.

Shixun furrowed his eyebrows a little at this, “Am not.”

“Yes, you were,” Lu Han argued back as he took the toilet paper from Shixun’s gentle hand, “I’ve never heard you stutter, I think.”

A small blush formed on Shixun’s face, “I wasn’t stuttering, okay?”

“You don’t know how to handle crying people,” Lu Han said, stating out exactly what was bothering Shixun.

“I’m more than capable of dealing with crying people!” Shixun blurted out in defense, voice rising exponentially to proof his point.

And Lu Han was not even sure whether he was being mean right now, but he wanted to tease Shixun so badly. It was as if Shixun’s expressions were so priceless. They were so genuine, so without pretense, and even though it was nothing special, certain people could lighten up your life with just one smile. They had that aura, that charisma to turn heads wherever they are, brightening up the world and lifting up the mood.

Shixun was that kind of person.

So he let some tears slip out of his eyes, deliberately making it look like he was crying again, and he was so close to laughing when he saw the distress in Shixun’s eyes intensifying. He was so close to forgetting why he was crying in the first place. Not yet completely, but close to entirely.

“Hey, stop crying!” Shixun said in utmost distress, ruffling his hair since he did not know what to do, “Please, stop crying! I’ll do anything you want! J-Just, stop crying!”

“Anything?” Lu Han asked softly.

“Anything!” Shixun said as he surrendered himself.

This caused Lu Han’s eyes to glister pleasantly, “I dare you to do some aegyo.”

“W-What?” Shixun said as his eyes wavered, “No way! I- There’s no way I’m doing it!”

Teary eyes stared right into Shixun’s eyes as Lu Han said in a sad tone, “You’re not doing it?”

“Alright, alright!” Shixun screamed as he saw the tears threatening to fall down, “Alright! I’ll do it! Just, don’t! Don’t cry anymore!” A sigh escaped his lips as he slumped down against his seat, “Now?”

Lu Han nodded his head, “Now.”

Shixun ruffled his hair in frustration before he sat up straight again. There was a troubled expression on Shixun’s face that Lu Han had never seen before. It was entertaining to see how Shixun, someone who seemed to always know what to do, would show such an expression at the demand of something as small as doing aegyo.

“…Now?” Shixun asked once more, the desperation clearly laced around the words.

Lu Han nodded, “I dare you.”

Lu Han had not expected Shixun to be good at aegyo. Actually, he had expected Shixun to be so bad at it that it would look almost ugly. However, the moment Shixun but two loose fists against his cheeks and looked at him with such innocently confused eyes, Lu Han realized that Shixun could really do anything. He could play darts, he could outshine others with his intelligence and calmness, and he could act cute when he wanted to. Shixun could do it all. Shixun was that kind of amazing person.

And this would remain a moment Lu Han would want to capture for a lifetime, because not once has there been anyone who was willing to put down his pride and do something just so Lu Han would stop crying. So the thought that Shixun, from all people, was willing to go through such lengths just to comfort him, meant the world to Lu Han. It meant the world.

“You’re smiling…” Shixun said in relief as he saw the smile growing on Lu Han’s lips.

“Because of your stupid face,” Lu Han said, a refreshing feeling washing over him which made him feel as though everything could be solved.  

Shixun’s smile fell at this, “It couldn’t be that bad.”

“Well,” Lu Han said as he wiped away some tears, “it was.”

“It wasn’t,” Shixun said defensively.

“You sure do live in your own world, Shixun,” Lu Han said in a playful mocking tone.

“Well,” Shixun said with a sigh, a genuine smile growing on his lips, “as long as you’re not crying anymore.”

Coffee tastes sweeter with sugar, but that does not mean the bitterness is not there anymore. It is just concealed. And you can conceal it with lots and lots of sugar, to the point that it does not even taste like coffee anymore. Or you can give it a pinch of salt. It will still taste bitter, but it will be more bearable. And maybe bitterness was not that frightening to begin with. We just made ourselves believe it was.

“You better go wash the dishes now, Shixun,” Lu Han said with a soft smile.

Shixun groaned, “Yeah, yeah, I’m going already.”