WOW an update already?! What's wrong with me?!
So that's what I mean with writer's block. When I don't have it, everything flows like a river. Chapter 19 and Shixun has finally met Kyungsoo and Chanyeol. It was about time. Frog Arc is nearing its end, and really, I'm already missing my dear Shixun. So many more things are going to happen, and I'm very happy that this story is finally moving further. I want to thank you all for the support, and I can only hope this chapter doesn't disappoint. I want to say that I am still not really happy with the previous chapter, and I'm actually so close to deleting that chapter, but you readers seem to love it, so I'll let it be as it is. This chapter contains the perspectives of the three main people in this story. It's kind of precious to have these three perspectives in the same chapter. Well, I'll stop talking now, please enjoy this chapter! I hope to update soon again!
P.S. Kyungsoo will get a little bit more spotlight in the Prince Arc, because he has some story to be told too.
P.P.S. We need some light comedy in this story. I'm voting for some chankai comedy.

“Kyungsoo, what are you doing?” Sehun asked the moment he stepped onto the balcony, his eyes landing on the small figure leaning against the railing with his eyes closed.

Kyungsoo slowly opened his eyes, the gentleness swimming in those dark, mysterious orbs that only Sehun could look right through, “Savoring the moment.”

“It’s getting cold, you should put on a coat when you’re outside,” Sehun said before taking off his cardigan, carefully placing it over Kyungsoo’s shoulder, “I don’t want you to get sick.”

Kyungsoo chuckled at this, “You’re treating me like a patient again.”

Sehun nodded his head with a grin, “Of course I do,” He used his folded arms to lean against the railing while he warmly gazed at the other, “but that’s only because you get sick so often that I can’t help but taking care of you.”

Kyungsoo smiled at the younger male before looking back in front of him, his head slowly leaning down on the other’s broad shoulder that provided him all the security he needed, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Sehun replied sincerely.

There was no way Kyungsoo could ever explain how much Sehun meant to him. Sehun was the person who saved him and gave his life worth. Without Sehun, there would not be Kyungsoo, never be Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo had vowed to devote his whole life to Sehun. He had promised himself that he would always stay by Sehun’s side, providing Sehun everything he needed. Kyungsoo studied exceptionally hard just so he could make it into one of the most prestigious universities, because he wanted to become someone Sehun could rely on. Kyungsoo became the CAO of ROYELL for the sake of lightening the burden on Sehun’s shoulder. Kyungsoo made every single decision with Sehun’s well-being forever the deciding factor in his mind. Even when it came to small matters like joining a club or reading a book, it had to be of value when it came to supporting Sehun. Otherwise it was not worth his time.

When Sehun was gone, Kyungsoo was devastated. He was not permitted to show it, and he was not going to show his weak side to anyone because the world he lived in was a frightening one. Show that you are afraid and you will be eaten up alive. Nobody needed to know that the thought alone of Sehun never coming back made him shake so intensely he was not able to calm down at all. Nobody needed to know that he could not sleep well, could not eat well, could not function well with the fear continuously gnawing at his consciousness. Nobody needed to know what without Sehun to support him, his fragile walls were slowly breaking apart. On the outside, he seemed strong and composed, but on the inside he was breaking apart. He needed Sehun by his side to function well. No, he needed Sehun by his side to function at all.

All his fright and insecurities, all his fear and uncertainties, vanished the moment he saw Sehun standing in front of him. He wore the kind of clothes that Sehun had never worn before, had his hair in a way Sehun would normally never permit to be seen with and he almost looked like a complete different person, but this person standing in front of him was nevertheless the Oh Sehun he was in love with. It was nevertheless the Oh Sehun he had been endlessly waiting for, and everything just crashed right onto him the moment he embraced the other. All the exhaustion, tiredness and hopelessness all crashed right onto him the moment he made himself realize that he finally found Sehun.

Sehun was finally back.

Kyungsoo could not think straight anymore, not when he finally found Sehun. It was as if Heaven decided to be giving this time, returning the one thing, the one person Kyungsoo could not live without – Oh Sehun.

“I- I’m not- I’m Shixun,” The other said hesitantly.

Kyungsoo looked up at the other, staring the taller male straight in the eyes, and there simply was no denying it. This was Sehun. There was no way this was not Sehun. Kyungsoo had been by Sehun’s side for so long, so crazily long, that there was no way Kyungsoo would not be able to recognize Sehun. Kyungsoo had Sehun memorized from head to toe, from outside to inside. Sehun stood in the center of his life. Sehun was where his gaze would end up landing up every single time. All his time and attention went to Sehun, so there truly was no way he could ever not recognize Sehun.

This was Sehun.

“No, you’re not. You’re Sehun.”

Kyungsoo turned around to look at Chanyeol, wearing the same composed expression as always when he tried to hide his turmoil of emotions. Sehun never liked it when he showed those ugly monsters bubbling inside of him, and Kyungsoo was determined to lock those creatures inside for a lifetime. Whatever Sehun did not want to see, Kyungsoo would make sure it was never in Sehun’s view. Sehun disliked wilted flowers, so Kyungsoo would always make sure no such thing would ever be within Sehun’s eyesight. Sehun hated incompetent employees, so Kyungsoo would do his best to remove those out of the company. Everything Sehun disliked and hated, Kyungsoo would eliminate.

“Chanyeol, we…” Kyungsoo spoke before glancing back at Sehun, a small smile growing on his lips, “We finally found Sehun.”

“I- I’m sorry, but he isn’t Sehun, he’s Shixun, Lu Han’s cousin,” Yixing spoke out hesitantly.

This caused Kyungsoo to blink his eyes, “Cousin, you say?”

The male next to Sehun slowly took a step forward, his eyes casted downwards, “He… He’s my cousin.”

Kyungsoo looked Sehun in the eyes, an emotionless expression plastered on his face, “Tell me, who are you?”

Sehun took a deep breath before answering, “I’m Shixun, Lu Han’s cousin.”

And those words could have been convincing, really could have convinced him, if it was not for the faint small scar on Sehun’s cheek that he got when they were both young and Sehun had protected him from falling off the stairs. That scar was burned into Kyungsoo’s memory. The sound of his voice was gentle and warm, somewhat different from the General Manager Oh so many people were afraid of, but this remained the sound that could only be produced by Oh Sehun. The aura might be gentler, but only Sehun could possess such strong and attention stealing charisma. Kyungsoo was certain he did not make a mistake, and he was not going to back away either.

“You’re really Sehun,” Chanyeol spoke out for the first time since Sehun appeared, “you’re really General Manager Oh…”

“I- I’m sorry, but I really think you’re mistaking me for someone else,” Sehun said while looking at the both of them.

“You’re General Manager Oh, CEO of ROYELL,” Kyungsoo said straightforwardly, watching the other person’s eyes widening in shock, “You’re Oh Sehun.”

»

“Rumors are spreading that a large hotel chain wants to take over this place and built a huge hotel here. The owner of the hair salon at the corner of the street was talking about how someone recently approached him with an offer to buy his hair salon. He was quite open to the thought, seeing how his business isn’t going that well.”

“I think it was… RO-… ROYAL? No, wait, that’s not it… I remember it was a very well-known hotel chain… RO-… Ah, I remember, it’s ROYELL! Yeah, ROYELL.”

Lu Han could feel his heart drop the moment this person called Kyungsoo said Shixun was the CEO of ROYELL. From the moment this mysterious man hugged Shixun and called him Sehun, Lu Han knew something terribly wrong was going on. Something terribly wrong was going on because the chances were infinitely high that these people knew Shixun, the real Shixun. The person Shixun really was. And it was not like Lu Han never expected to find out who Shixun truly was one day, but he just never thought it would be this soon. He never wanted it to be this soon.

And he certainly never thought Shixun would be someone so far above him.

“C-CEO… Of ROYELL?” Minseok managed to say with unbelief, before looking at Shixun, “He…”

“I don’t know what you did to him,” Kyungsoo spoke out in exasperation, “but we can sue you for hiding the CEO of ROYELL for the sake of keeping your business going. Do you know the severity of the crime you have committed? If something were to happen to our CEO, even ten lives wouldn’t be enough to repay for the harms you’ve done.”

“No, wait, they didn’t-” Lu Han began, desperately wanting to clear things up but he did not even know how to begin, “They didn’t know about anything!”

This caused Shixun to look at him with shock, wide eyes looking right into his. Lu Han never wanted to reveal the secret, never in such a way, but things were getting too out of hand right now. Minseok and Yixing had absolutely nothing to do with this. This was all his own wrongdoing. He loved Shixun, he really did, and that was why he could not be so selfish to stop Shixun from knowing the truth. If these two people were telling the truth, Shixun might be able to finally know who he really was.

“He… He’s not my cousin,” Lu Han said honestly, “He’s not my cousin, but he doesn’t remember who he really is.”

It hurt. It really hurt. Because this was what Lu Han had been so afraid of. Making himself believe that Shixun was his cousin at least gave him the sole reason that as family, Shixun would never ever leave him on his own. Making himself believe that Shixun was a part of his life that could never be erased gave him some reassurance. However, if he were to expose this, even this sole reason to hold onto Shixun would be gone. If Shixun found out who he really was, and if Lu Han could never fit in the world Shixun came from, then Lu Han was certainly going to be thrown away. His own mother had left him on his own but she remained her mother. He still had her number, although he never called her. She could not cut off all ties with him. If Shixun were to let go, there would be no strings to hold onto. Shixun would really be gone.

“He doesn’t remember?” Kyungsoo said before frowning a little, “How did that happen?”

“He… He got-” Lu Han began, but Shixun suddenly stood in front of him.

“I hit my head and gained memory loss,” Shixun said before giving Lu Han a quick reassuring glance.

Lu Han really thought he could start crying at that moment, because Shixun was protecting him. Shixun was foolishly protecting Lu Han when he did not even deserve to be protected. Shixun loved him, and the realization made it so hard for him to breathe. Because maybe, deep inside, he wished he did not love Shixun and Shixun did not love him. Because maybe, deep inside, he realized that would have made things so much easier. Because maybe, deep inside, he and Shixun would not have to hurt so much if they did not love each other. But maybe, really deep inside, he knew that there was no way he could ever prevent himself from falling in love with Shixun.

“You could’ve called the police, could’ve brought him to the hospital, anything and they would’ve been able to find out who he really was-” Kyungsoo said accusingly towards Lu Han.

“It wasn’t his fault,” Shixun responded, “All my belongings were stolen.”

“That’s no excuse! That’s never an excuse!” Kyungsoo yelled for the first time, but he soon realized what he was doing and quickly calmed himself down again, “Did you keep him here for money? Did you think you could earn money out of this?”

“W-What?” Lu Han shook his head heavily, “N-No, I never thought that!”

“ROYELL wants to buy this hostel, buy this land, and because you knew he was the CEO of ROYELL, you thought that maybe you could threaten us to let this hostel go, right?” Kyungsoo said before grinning, “Really, you’re all so frightening.”

“I told you I didn’t know who he was!” Lu Han screamed, the emotions bursting inside his head and making him dizzy, “I didn’t know who he was… If I knew… If… then…”

“We didn’t know he was the CEO of ROYELL,” Minseok said softly, “we honestly didn’t. If we knew, we would’ve brought him back immediately. And we’ve treated him like a dear friend all this time-”

“There’s no need to explain things any further,” Kyungsoo said, mercilessly cutting Minseok off before looking at the other male who was with him, “We might have to ask for Byun Baekhyun’s legal advice. I don’t want to involve him unless absolutely necessary, but I can’t let it go when these people have kept Sehun hidden all this time.”

“Kyungsoo,” Chanyeol spoke in an empathizing manner, “I know you were very worried about Sehun’s disappearance, but I think these people really didn’t know he was Sehun. If the intentionally kept him hidden, they wouldn’t have let him appear here all of a sudden while we’re here.”

Kyungsoo sighed in irritation, “Chanyeol, don’t be so soft-hearted on them, they don’t deserve it.”

Chanyeol sighed, “Kyungsoo, the most important thing is that we found Sehun. And don’t forget we can’t let Sehun’s disappearance get exposed.”

Kyungsoo took a deep breath, understanding what Chanyeol wanted to say, before looking at Shixun, “How did they treat you, Sehun?”

That name sounded so harsh to Lu Han’s ears, because Shixun had always been Shixun. Shixun was the name Lu Han had given to the person he had accidentally hit. Shixun was the name Lu Han had given to the person who stayed with him without any complaints. Shixun was the name Lu Han had given to the person he was in love with. Everything this person was, it all equaled to Shixun. So to let it sink in that Shixun’s real name was in fact Sehun, caused this bubble of a dream burst.

“They’ve been nothing but unconditionally nice to me,” Shixun said sincerely.

Kyungsoo eyed him for a moment before nodding his head, “I see,” He then turned to glance at Lu Han, Minseok and Yixing one by one, “then I’ll let this be as it is for now. Now that we’ve found Sehun, it’ll only be right for him to go back with us. There’s no need for him to stay here any longer. He needs to go back to where he belongs.”

To where he belongs. Somewhere Lu Han did not know of. Some place Lu Han’s existence did not fit in. Shixun’s world was a place on earth that was far away from here. It was not the physical distance that made it so excruciating far. No, certainly not. Any physical distance was nothing compared to the mental distance, the psychological distance. The distance between their two souls. Shixun belonged in a complete different world.

“I…” Shixun began before looking at Lu Han, the anxiety swimming in his eyes, “I’m not going anywhere without Lu Han.”

“I’m sorry?” Kyungsoo said, his eyes widened in unbelief, a nervous chuckle escaping his lips.

“Lu Han…” Shixun held onto Lu Han’s hand firmly, intertwining their fingers before meeting Kyungsoo’s eyes, “I won’t leave Lu Han on his own.”

Lu Han saw it. Lu Han saw the despair slowly painting Kyungsoo’s face. He saw how the smaller male’s expression slowly turned into one of messy hurt and raw sadness. He saw how the other had to bit his lower lip so harshly, had to ball his hands into fists so forcefully, and it made him understand something important. It made him understand that Kyungsoo was something important to Sehun. The realization made him want to throw up.

“Sehun… How could you…?” Kyungsoo said before shielding his eyes with his hand, a sad grin appearing on his lips, “Did they mess with your head so terribly? Did they mess with you so extremely that even your heart forgot about me?”

“i…” Shixun said uneasily as he watched the other slowly crumbling into a chaos of loose sand.

“I’m your fiancée, Sehun.”

Everything hit Lu Han like a bucket of ice cold water being poured down on him. Everything hit him so forcefully, so suddenly and so painfully, that he could not even breathe properly anymore. His eyes were still functioning but his brain could not register it. His ears heard things but his head could not process it. His body felt heavy but his mind felt numb. There were simply too many things going on, but the only thing that really reached his consciousness was the fact that Kyungsoo was Shixun’s… Sehun’s fiancée.

And there was no way Lu Han could ever compete with that.

The person he loved had a fiancée, and Lu Han had no right to steal away someone else’s happiness. Shixun was someone he borrowed, and what he borrowed, he had to give back eventually. Shixun might have been his, but Sehun was not. And if Sehun was not his, then nothing was.

»

“I’m your fiancée, Sehun.”

He always wanted to know about his true identity. He always wanted to know who he really was. It was a natural instinct to want to know the truth. He spent nights contemplating the possibilities, thinking about who he could possible be. But never even in his wildest dreams would he have thought he would be the CEO of ROYELL. Never ever did it cross his mind that he might be someone who would have a whole hotel chain to manage. He was a person with so much responsibility, nothing like the person he was right now. But as if that was not already too much to elaborate instantly, another cruel blow followed.

He had a fiancée.

And he felt so stupid and selfish because he had promised Lu Han that he would never ever leave Lu Han alone, but all this time there was a fiancée waiting for his return. All this time, while he was falling in love with Lu Han and living a pleasant life, his fiancée was waiting for him in agony. All this time while he was making promises with Lu Han, he was breaking promises with his lover that trusted him. He had hurt someone he cared about so badly. He had hurt him even more by telling him he would never leave Lu Han. He had hurt him to the core by holding onto Lu Han’s hand right in front of him. Shixun had done so many things wrong. So many things.

“You’re… You’re my fiancée?” Shixun said softly, still not being able to believe it.

Kyungsoo slowly moved his hand away to meet his eyes, “I am.”

Shixun blinked his eyes a couple of times as he stumbled backwards a little, the truth too overwhelming for him. It was too overwhelming and too much and it made his head want to explode. The truth was too big to fit into his head. Too big. Simply too big.

“Shixun-ah…” Lu Han’s voice was laced with so much fright and despair as he slowly let go of Shixun’s hand.

Shixun wanted nothing more but to hold onto that hand, wanted nothing more but to grab that hand and never let go, because that hand slipping away felt so horrible. It made his heart ache so painfully. Why did it have to end up so complicated and cruel? Why did everything turned out into such an ugly mess he did not know how to fix? He felt so hopeless and helpless right now, so lost in problems he did not know how to solve. It was messing with his head so terribly. It was making him drown in dark emotions he could not fight away.

“Come back home, Sehun,” Kyungsoo pleaded as he slowly reached his hand out to touch Shixun’s cheek, “let’s go back to where you belong. Leave this place and forget about everything that happened here. You’ve been tricked, you’ve lived in an illusion, and it’s time that this all ended.”

Shixun looked Kyungsoo in the eyes, uncertain of what to say. But he saw how those orbs were sending him a thousand messages, a thousand wishes and there was no way he could ever ignore that. He did not want to go back, not so suddenly, and never without Lu Han, but how was he going to do that? How was he going to hold onto his promises? This hostel was such a meaningful place for him, how could he just simply leave?

“I… I can’t leave-” Shixun shook his head, “I can’t-”

“Your mother is waiting for your return, ROYELL is waiting for your return, I’m waiting for your return. Please, Sehun,” A lonely tear rolled down Kyungsoo’s cheek, “come back home.”

“I can’t just leave this place…” Shixun said as he looked away.

“Sehun, there’s no reason for you to stay here!” Kyungsoo yelled angrily, and he had to take a deep breath before continuing, “Sehun, don’t have any attachment towards this place and these people. Even if you wanted to stay here, you can’t. ROYELL wants to buy this hostel, this land.”

Kyungsoo heaved a sigh as glanced away. Shixun felt the lump growing in his throat.

“Sehun, you can’t stay here, because you’re the one who wants this place gone.”

It hurt. His head was hurting so much. There were so many things going through his head right now. There was the regret towards Kyungsoo, the guilt towards Lu Han, but there was also the fact that he had done so many things wrong. Sehun wanted this place gone. Sehun wanted to buy this place and get rid of this hostel. But Shixun had grown to love this place. But Shixun had done everything he could to keep this place alive. But Shixun had put so much time and effort in this hostel. By doing so, he was going against Sehun. He was going against Sehun’s plans.

By doing so, he was going against himself.

“Come back home, Sehun,” Kyungsoo said again, but very gently this time.

Shixun eyed him while letting the pain washing over him, before turning around and abruptly running away. Nothing made sense anymore. Nothing even made sense anymore. He did not even know what to do anymore. Because there was no way Shixun and Sehun could be the same person. There was no way Shixun and Sehun could combine and become one. Shixun had to choose. The two stood right against each other. He could not bring the two together.

He had to be either Shixun or Sehun.

Shixun screamed as he ran out of the hostel, wanting so desperately to let everything out. Shixun did not want to choose. He did not know how to choose. He did not know what would be the right decision.

“You’re my cousin, Shixun.”

“Shixun-ah.”

“I think you’re my happiness.”

“You’re General Manager Oh, CEO of ROYELL. You’re Oh Sehun.”

“I’m your fiancée, Sehun.”

What was he supposed to do?