Hello everyone!
Thank you all for the support! It's so great to know you all love this story! Here is the next chapter! Okay, let me confess something. Firstly, I said somewhere before this arc was going to have 20 chapters, well I failed. Because this chapter is not the end of the frog arc, the next one (hopefully) is. Things turned out more complicated than I had planned (as always) so I need more chapters to end this arc prettily. Secondly, I changed the original ending of the frog arc. Clearly I never told anyone about the original ending of the frog arc, but I changed it. When I first started writing this story, I had this picture in my mind of Lu Han. Also from Shixun. But it all changed. As always, I let my characters grow on their own and this time, Lu Han turned more emotional than I had originally planned. More real in my eyes, but more raw too. Shixun also changed. His love for Lu Han has exceeded my original plans. And I know this all sounds like crazy because come on, I'm the author, and I can't really explain it, but sometimes the story flows without me really thinking about. The characters will become more and more detailed, and then become characters different from how I had pictured them before. I always love that process. But the whole point is that this chapter is so different from how I had it planned, and I hope you all like it. I myself am pleasantly surprised by it.
I hope you will all enjoy this chapter! And even though I continuously say the end of the frog arc, but really, the prince arc is going to follow it and the story is going to continue. So this is really no farewell or goodbye haha. I just love being dramatic~ Angst for the win, everyone!

The silence was painfully loud, like a harsh thumping repeating itself rapidly in his head. Kyungsoo sighed tiredly as he leaned his head back, eyes watching the view outside the window turn into a messy blur his mind could not quite process. He had wanted to follow Sehun, run after him and embrace him while telling him that everything was going to be alright. Everything was alright now. The harm those people had inflicted on him had come to an end and Kyungsoo was going to make sure he could return home safely.

But Chanyeol was quick to stop him, shaking his head slightly as he told Kyungsoo that Sehun needed time. Time they should grant Sehun. Kyungsoo did not want to listen to Chanyeol’s words but the taller male successfully stopped him from taking any actions. He felt his heart clench as he watched Sehun disappear right in front of his eyes, yelling furiously at Chanyeol to let him go. Now that Kyungsoo was in the car, he began to understand Chanyeol’s reasons. He could understand that Sehun most probably needed some time to accept everything. Kyungsoo needed to be patient. He had already waited for so endlessly long, so this little wait was nothing he could not do.

Yet, that did not mean the wait was any better than before. It was still terrible and Kyungsoo wished it would all be over already. He wished Sehun was back already. Sehun had so many things waiting for him, so many people waiting for his return, and Kyungsoo was not sure he could wait very long anymore. It was as if nothing was certain anymore. Everything his life was built on was not stable anymore. And he hated this feeling. He hated this feeling of not being certain about anything anymore. It suffocated him.

“He’s just confused,” Chanyeol said, breaking the silence.

Kyungsoo shut his eyes at this, “I know.”

“Give him some time to let the reality sink in before we bring him back home,” Chanyeol said calmly as he focused on the road in front of him, “Whether he has memory loss or not, he’s still Oh Sehun. He’ll know what decision he needs to make that’s best.”

For a fleeting moment, Kyungsoo was remembered of that face, that unfamiliar yet uncomfortable face of the person standing next to Sehun. There was a short second in which the sight of the two of them holding hands appeared in front of his eyes. Sehun was supposed to love him, only him. It was a promise made long ago. Sehun would take care of him for a lifetime. Sehun promised. And Kyungsoo tried his best to understand that Sehun was just confused right now, lost, uncertain about anything, but it still hurt. It still hurt so badly.

“Sehun will make the right decision,” Kyungsoo said, convincing himself, “Sehun will make the best decision for everyone. He always does.”

»

“Shixun… Shixun’s not Lu Han’s cousin?” Yixing let out softly, the disbelief still clouding his mind, “How… Minseok, did you know?”

Minseok slowly looked up to meet the other’s eyes, before giving a weak nod, “Yes…”

“Why didn’t you tell me?!” Yixing screamed unhappily, “Why- Why would Lu Han lie?!”

“Yixing, he had his own reasons,” Minseok tried before sighing hopelessly, “It just had to turn out this way…”

Yixing watched Minseok slump down lifelessly, the flame in his eyes gradually disappearing, and realized the severity of everything crashing down on him, “This really is the end, isn’t it?”

It made everything seem like a dream. The days spent in the hostel laughing and smiling seemed so much like a dream right now. Those days of peaceful pleasure have ended. ROYELL was going to buy U&KIM hostel, and there was nothing Minseok could do about it. He had fought so hard, but there really was nothing he could do anymore. The hostel his parents built so passionately – it ended in their son’s incapable hands.

Minseok felt the despair and disappointment washing over him as he recalled his promise to his parents. He had promised that he would make his parents dream come true and make U&KIM hostel a place where people went with pleasure and thought back of with joy. He had promised his parents but he could not fulfill that one dream of theirs. He broke the one promise his parents were so proud of. He felt like a failure, a bad son who could not even do this one thing. This place had become his anything, and now it was going to be taken away from him.

“Minseok… It’s not your fault, you did your best,” Yixing said as he embraced Minseok, “you really did your best.”

Minseok shook his head slightly, “I could’ve done more, I could’ve done so much better…”

U&KIM hostel was going to be gone very soon. The place where the four of them had so many good and beautiful memories was going to disappear very soon. Minseok could not believe the fact that all this time, the person who wanted this place gone, was the exact same person as the young man who tried his utmost best to keep this place alive. It made him grin through his tears because reality really was cruel. The person he was supposed to hate so much had actually become a person he liked so much. Shixun found a new life in a place he was supposed to erase.

How heartless was the Heaven to make them all go through this?

»

Lu Han did not think about anything but Shixun as he ran. He thought about Shixun, about his true identity, about everything they experienced together. Lu Han could not bring himself to really think about his own sadness, could not really put his own pain on top of his priority list as he ran. No, because Shixun’s well-being was his number one priority already. Everything he felt was nothing compared to his need and desire to know how Shixun was doing. He needed to know that Shixun was doing well. He needed to be with Shixun, hold him tight and tell him that everything was okay. A lone tear rolled down as Lu Han gulped harshly.

Whatever Shixun’s decision would be, Lu Han would love him madly.

Shixun was Sehun. Shixun was actually ROYELL’s CEO, Oh Sehun. It explained everything. It explained their first encounter, when mister filthy rich threw the money bills mercilessly in his face. It explained the luxury mister filthy rich’s body was covered with. It explained Shixun’s being, his manners and personality, his way of speaking and his intelligence. It explained why Shixun always had this hauntingly beautiful aura around him. Shixun was not someone as ordinary and simple as Lu Han. Shixun was actually someone whose live should never be bounded by this small place, this small hostel, this small world.

Shixun had wings, beautiful wide wings, and he was supposed to fly.

Lu Han had seen those wings, he really had, and all this time he was so frightened Shixun would fly away. Shixun was meant to fly and reach a place somewhere incredibly high. Lu Han was so frightened that Shixun would one day fly away without him. He knew Shixun would fly away one day and the thought was so heartbreaking. He seized the day when it came to Shixun, never dared to hope for anything as beautiful as a future, and savored the present as much as possible. The reason was simple, because he knew Shixun was never his to hold onto.

But when Shixun promised he would stay with Lu Han, it really felt as though he would. When Shixun promised that he would never ever leave Lu Han, Lu Han really did believe him. Lu Han really did believe in those words that sounded so good he thought he might die.  He thought that maybe this angel would want to spend the remains of his life accompanying him. Maybe this angel could forego Heaven and find happiness in Lu Han. Maybe this angel could really be his.

Maybe.

Lu Han looked around frantically as he took deep breaths. He was so certain Shixun had gone into this direction, but he was nowhere to be seen. It was only after Lu Han had really taken the time to look around his surroundings, that he realized where he was. He was at the beach – the place where it all began. This was the place where their destinies got tangled up. This was the place when he met mister filthy rich.

He took hesitant steps towards the sea, letting the cold ocean breeze roughly brush against his skin as he searched for Shixun. Something told him Shixun was here, somewhere, and Lu Han was not going to go before he searched everywhere. Not before his gaze landed on every single place, every single corner of this beach and found no trace of Shixun. He was not going anywhere without Shixun.

The slippery sand caused him to lose his balance from time to time, even made him fall down at some points but all he did was stood up abruptly, immediately continuing his search. He might have scratched himself somewhere, might have hurt himself somewhere, but that was nothing compared to the panic he felt inside. The desire to find Shixun was so strong it took over his whole body and mind.

And he was so close to crying when he finally found Shixun sitting near the water, leaning against the big stone as he faced the sea in front of him. He really could cry because he had found Shixun. Shixun had not left yet. Shixun was still here.

“Shixun-ah!” Lu Han screamed from the top of his lungs, “Shixun-ah!”

The person slowly turned his head, the expressionless face making Lu Han’s heart clench, “Lu Han…”

“Shixun-ah,” Lu Han spoke out his name again as he approached Shixun, dropping himself mercilessly on the ground next to Shixun before grabbing onto the other’s hand with his own shaky ones, “Shixun-ah…”

Lu Han did not understand himself. Maybe he really was a weird person. Maybe he really was selfish and foolish at heart, because he was crying again. He was shedding tears while shaking so crazily, when the person who was hurting the most was not even him. It was Shixun. Shixun was the person who was in such a difficult position right now. Shixun was the person suffering the most right now. He was supposed to comfort Shixun, but instead he was breaking down in front of the other. He did not understand himself anymore. He truly did not make any sense anymore. He was not supposed to cry. Why could not he control himself a little bit better?

Shixun slowly moved a hand to wipe away some of the tears rolling down his face, “I… I’m sorry, Lu Han, for making you…” A painful silence followed, “For making you cry.”

There was a loud sound of a wave as Lu Han looked Shixun in the eyes, “It’s… It’s not your fault… Shixun-ah, I…. How are you?”

Shixun smiled weakly, “I’m a mess. Lu Han… I’m really a mess right now…” Shixun leaned his head tiredly on Lu Han’s shoulder, “My mind is a mess right now and it hurts…”

Lu Han was quick to embrace the other, holding Shixun with all the love he had, “Everything is going to be alright, Shixun-ah, everything is going to be alright…”

Shixun shook his head, “It’s not going to be alright, Lu Han, it’s never going to be alright. I can’t make it alright, it won’t be okay, and I’m going to make the wrong decision no matter what. I….” Shixun voice cracked, “I’m going to do wrong no matter what…”

There were only a handful of people on this beach, far away from the two of them. Their sounds were too far to really distinguish what they were saying. The water, on the other hand, felt so close. It felt as if a wave could hit the two of them anytime soon, dragging the both of them into the sea and drowning them. Maybe if they were drowning, they could finally breathe. Maybe if everything got washed away, all the problems and all the difficulties, they could finally breathe again. Maybe if they drowned, they would be able to breathe again.

Because, right now, everything was too suffocating.

“Shixun-ah… Whatever your decision will be, I’ll support you,” Lu Han whispered as he watched the sea.

“I.. I don’t know how to decide, Lu Han…” Shixun responded as he held onto Lu Han.

Lu Han nodded his head understandingly, “Shixun, you’re not a robot. You’re only human, and humans make mistakes sometimes. Nobody can blame you for making a mistake,” Lu Han moved his hands to hold onto Shixun’s face, so they were facing each other, “Nobody will blame you for anything.”

There were tears rolling down Shixun’s cheeks as he looked Lu Han in the eyes, “Lu Han…”

And for the first time, it was Lu Han who took the initiative. For the first time, it was Lu Han who crushed his lips on Shixun’s, the desperation and desire taking over his body. For the very first time, there was just too much love exploding inside of him that made him lose his mind. All he wanted was to convey his feelings to Shixun, tell the other with actions that he loved Shixun unconditionally. He was frightened, so scared, because this feeling was so intense and raw. He was not sure whether he knew how to survive such a feeling. He was not sure whether he knew how to cope with such passion.

But he needed Shixun to know exactly how he was feeling.

“Shixun-ah,” Lu Han whispered as he leaned his forehead against Shixun’s, their breaths heavy, “I love you.”

Yet another fresh tear escaped Shixun’s eye, “I love you too.”

Lu Han needed this reassurance. He needed this reassurance to face the obstacles that stood in front of them. He needed to hear Shixun tell him he loved Lu Han. He needed to hear those words. And he was certain Shixun felt the same. There was just too much to deal with, and nothing was certain anymore, but they both needed this love to be certain. They both needed to know that this love was real, and not a dream. They both needed to know that they at least had each other to fall back to.

“I don’t want to leave you…” Shixun whispered.

Lu Han let the sound of the sea envelope him as he felt the melancholia explode inside of him. He wanted to burst into tears so desperately because those words went right through his heart, hitting him with a pang of hurt. When it came to Shixun, he took every single word terribly seriously. When it came to Shixun, he took every single meaning by heart. And with this one sentence, he knew that Shixun already understood. Shixun might say he did not know how to decide, and he might not even know himself, but he already understood. Shixun said he did not want to leave Lu Han alone, and that sounded so nice, but it implicitly meant that he knew he needed to.

Shixun knew he needed to leave Lu Han.

Shixun was a clever person, an intelligent person who knew very well that responsibility was something that needed to be carried. Shixun was not an irresponsible person. Lu Han did not fall in love with someone who would run away from his responsibilities and live an immature life. The person Lu Han fell in love with was strong, responsible and capable. The person Lu Han fell in love with might bend but never break. And although Shixun might be a person who would never want to leave Lu Han, might be a person who would never leave Lu Han’s side…

Oh Sehun was not supposed to be bound to a small place like this.

Oh Sehun was supposed to be the CEO of ROYELL, managing a large hotel chain. Oh Sehun was supposed to sit in a grand and elegant office room, looking at a beautiful scenery while deciding about matters that involved millions and millions of Won. Oh Sehun was supposed to be dressed in luxury and surrounded by people that were of the same class of him. Oh Sehun was not supposed to be wearing worn-out t-shirts that made his skin red and sleep in a claustrophobic room that was not even big enough for one person. Oh Sehun was not supposed to be washing dishes and clean tables.

Oh Sehun was not supposed to be living a life that Shixun lived.

“I know you don’t,” Lu Han answered as he held onto Shixun tighter.

“Can’t…” Shixun took a deep breath before continuing, “Can’t I be selfish for once?”

Lu Han thought back about the promises. He thought back about the promises Shixun made with him. He thought back about everything Shixun had brought him, all the good and all the bad. And he felt the darkness flooding out from his heart, tainting his whole body and mind. He could feel the despair and hopelessness finally reaching his consciousness, making him want to cry out loud. It made him want to scream and yell but no sound could really leave his lips. No matter how hard he screamed, not a sound could be created.

And he could taste the bitterness, the frightening bitterness, but this time there was no sugar to cover it up. There was no sugar, no salt, nothing that could mellow the bitterness or completely cover it up. Lu Han had forbidden himself from feeling anything as he looked around for Shixun, but the turmoil was bound to catch up with him. He ran away from his own emotions but they were bound to hunt him down. Lu Han was bound to face the fact that, in the end, Lu Han was still going to be left behind. Everything he feared would still have to happen. And no matter how painful it was for Lu Han, it was something he would have to experience. No matter how hard he tried to pretend it will not happen, no matter how desperately he held onto the promises, the end was the end.

“You… You can’t, S-Shixun-ah…” Lu Han said, tears escaping the corners of his eyes at the crack of his voice.

“I- I promised I was going to stay by your side…” Shixun choked in his own tears, “I promised I would never ever leave you on your own. I promised to be your happiness-”

“Shixun-ah…” Lu Han slowly began as he moved a hand to cover the other’s mouth, “Don’t say any more…”

Shixun shook his head frantically, but Lu Han was desperate to stop Shixun from saying anything more, “Shixun-ah, please, don’t say anything more…” Lu Han let out the most painful sob as he broke down in front of Shixun, the only strength he had vanishing, “Don’t say any more or I might die…”

There was this pain spreading from his heart, and it made him feel so terribly empty. It made him choke and gasp for air so desperately, but that blackness just continuously took everything away. That dark hole took everything, leaving him feeling like an empty shell that had no content. He had never felt such a horrible feeling before that made him want to end his life. His hand instinctively went to the place on his body that hurt the most, clenching onto the fabric of his shirt so tightly it might tear, but the pain did not go away. It only got worse. Lu Han gasped and cried, and there was the thumping inside his head was so loud it made him go insane.

“Lu Han,” Shixun said in shock as he held onto Lu Han, frantic actions and hasty heartbeat defining his utmost concern, “c-calm down, Lu Han, p-please, calm down.”

Lu Han tried, he really did, but it was as if he had no control over his body. It was as if he had gone completely crazy, downright insane, and there were no restrictions anymore. It was as if the realization was too much, as if the heaviness of everything made his body break down completely. He was losing it, rapidly and gracelessly, he was losing himself.

“Shixun-ah…” Lu Han spoke weakly as he leaned against Shixun’s chest.

“Yes?!” Shixun said frantically, “Oh God please, Lu Han, don’t scare me! Please calm down, Lu Han, I beg you…”

Lu Han managed to grin faintly. He must look really horrible right now to have Shixun worry about him this much. He must look like a complete mess right now, and that was simply stupid because he was not supposed to be bringing any more trouble to Shixun. He was supposed to be helping Shixun, supporting him, but instead he was causing Shixun so much more trouble. He felt so useless, so incredibly useless. He could not even love Shixun well. He could not even love well.

“If you weren’t Oh Sehun… Do… Do you think things would’ve been different?” Lu Han asked.

Lu Han looked Shixun in the eyes, saw the despair and the hopelessness, and maybe he really did go too far just now. Maybe he should have never asked anything. But he was not functioning well anymore. He was not thinking straight anymore. No, he was not thinking at all anymore. All that clouded his mind were thoughts about possibilities. Thoughts about what if’s. Thoughts that were futile but nevertheless so beautiful that Lu Han could not help but hold onto them with his dear life.

“Lu Han, I’m so sorry…” Shixun said through tears, “I’m so sorry…”

They hugged each other like it was their last. For Lu Han, this was seen as their last embrace, so he tried to hold onto Shixun as tightly as possible. If Shixun was going to be leave, he wanted to at least feel Shixun with all his might at this moment. He wanted to remember Shixun’s body, Shixun’s being, so when he was on his own, he could still live on this one memory. At least he still had this one thing to hold onto. When he would feel incredibly alone and hollowly lonely, at least he would have this faint warmth buried deep inside his memory to hold onto.

“I’m not going to leave you on your own…” Shixun whispered in his ear, “Listen closely, Lu Han, I’m not going to leave you on your own…” He buried his face in Lu Han’s hair, “Never.”

“One day you’re going to remember your past, Shixun-ah,” Lu Han said while shaking his head, “one day you’re going to remember everything. And you’ll realize staying with me was a grave mistake… One day, when you remember who you’re supposed to be, you’ll regret promising me to never leave my side…” A fresh load of tears flowed down, “I know that much, Shixun-ah… I understand that much…”

“But I can’t leave you when you’re like this! I can’t leave you when you’re breaking down and falling apart in my hands! I love you, Lu Han!” Shixun screamed in desperation, “I love you so much, how can I ever leave you?! Tell me how I’m supposed to leave you without breaking my own heart into a thousand ugly pieces?!”

Such beautiful words. How was Lu Han supposed to win against those beautiful words? How was Lu Han supposed to convince himself that he needed to let Shixun go? How was Lu Han supposed to convince himself that letting Shixun go was for the better? How? Just how? Just how when he did not even want Shixun to go in the first place? When these words made him feel alive again?

“Shixun-ah, you- You’re Oh Sehun, you’re a CEO, you’re-”

“I don’t care!” Shixun yelled angrily, “I don’t care! I don’t care who I might be, who I’m supposed to be! It’s not what I want! I don’t want it! I… I thought I could-” Shixun gulped hard, “I know I’ve responsibilities to carry. I know I’m supposed to do what’s right. I know, I really know! But I can’t go back when you’re like this. I can’t leave you when your crying face haunts me every second I’m away from you. I can’t leave you when the promises I made with you are still so clearly in my mind. My head is saying that this is madness and I should just end this all, but my heart,” Shixun hit himself lightly on his chest, “my heart says that if I let you go, right now, I might never be able to see you again. I can’t do that, Lu Han, I really can’t.”

Lu Han shook his head at this, eyes widening as he let the words sink in. He loved Shixun, he loved Shixun unconditionally, but Shixun was making a grave mistake right now. He was making a-

“Lu Han, let’s go somewhere nobody knows us. Let’s build a life somewhere far away from here. As long as it’s with you,” Shixun held onto Lu Han tightly, “everywhere will be Heaven.”

Lu Han cried without making a sound as he looked at the sea in front of him. It was dark already, and the tears made his vision too blurry to really focus on anything, but the water was the only thing that could capture his attention right now. The water was the only thing, aside from Shixun’s hold and Shixun’s voice, that could hold his sanity right now.

“Lu Han, let’s run away.”