“I dare you to tell me you love me.”

The way Shixun was hugging him was both suffocating and soothing. Lu Han had missed this. He had missed Shixun so dearly. Days spent without Shixun was like days spent trying to find out how to breathe again. Days spent without Shixun was like days spent like a fish on land, desperately trying to find water. He could not think clearly anymore, could not function well anymore. He wanted to talk to Shixun but he was also so frightened to face Shixun. He wanted to see Shixun but he also wanted to keep his distance from Shixun. The mixed emotions were killing him slowly.

However, here was Shixun, hugging him and telling him that Shixun wanted to try a way to forgive him. Here was Shixun, embracing him and kissing him like he was someone worth loving. As if Lu Han did not do anything wrong. Lu Han did not understand how Shixun could ever forgive Lu Han, ever forgive Lu Han for what he had done, but Shixun was willing to. Shixun was willing to try to forgive him. Lu Han’s heart felt as if it would explode anytime soon. He simply could not grasp the fact that Shixun would be willing to do such a thing for him. He could not understand how he would ever be worth such endless kindness.

“I’m sure this person will forgive you, because you never meant to harm anyone, and accidents happen.”

His vision was blurry because of the tears, but somehow Lu Han could still see Shixun so clearly. Shixun’s face was so close to his that he could count the eyelashes if he wanted to. Lu Han could count the speckles in Shixun’s eyes if he wanted to, and deep inside, he did. Something inside of him burst as he realized that Shixun was really here, really holding onto him. Shixun was really here. Shixun had really come for him. Shixun did not throw him away.

Shixun did not leave him on his own.

“Why me…?” Lu Han asked in a soft voice as he looked Shixun in the eyes, “I’m not-”

Shixun buried Lu Han’s face in his shoulder as he said, “Don’t think about why and how. Don’t ask yourself whether you’re worth it or not, whether you deserve it or not. I’m telling you only once, Lu Han, so listen carefully,” He gently moved his hands to hold onto Lu Han’s face, making the other look at him again, “I love you.”

Lu Han had never felt like this. Lu Han had never felt so much warmth spreading inside his body, filling him with such peacefulness as though he was in heaven. Lu Han had never felt such joy enveloping him, making him want to cry out so badly because he could not believe this was really happening. It felt so good, so terribly good that it made Lu Han feel as if it was wrong. It felt so good that it made Lu Han feel as if this was not his, and that he had stolen this piece of heaven from someone. Someone like him could really die from such love. Someone like Lu Han could really die from having received such pure, true love. Because they were never used to this kind of love.

However, Shixun said to not think too much about it and whatever Shixun said, Lu Han would believe. Whatever Shixun told him to do, Lu Han would do. He trusted Shixun more than he trusted himself. As long as it was Shixun who said it, Lu Han would try his best to make it his truth and reality. He would try his best for Shixun.

“I love you.”

The words slipped out of Lu Han’s mouth easier than he thought, revealing how desperate those words had wanted to be spoken out. The words betrayed his head and revealed his heart’s intentions. Lu Han loved Shixun, and there was no denying it. Whether Lu Han deserved to have Shixun love him or not, deserved to love Shixun or not, that was not up to him to decide. It was up to Shixun to decide. Lu Han had given all the ropes to Shixun, willingly wanting to have Shixun make the final decision. Whether Shixun would let go or hold on was all up to Shixun. Lu Han would close his eyes and await his destiny.

The answer came in the form of a passionate kiss.  

Shixun kissed like it was their last, with so much passion and desire that it made Lu Han dizzy. It was hard to keep up with Shixun’s pace when he was so fast and quick and giving Lu Han absolutely no time to recover before deepening the kiss. Breathing was already no priority anymore when the two of them were kissing, because breathing meant stopping and that was something they both did not want. And Lu Han could not help but like how Shixun would always hold onto him so strongly, his own body pressed against Shixun’s body so closely, because it made him feel secure. It made him feel safe and protected. Lu Han’s hands moved up to hold onto Shixun’s shoulders. As long as Shixun was here, Lu Han had nothing to be afraid of.

Shixun was the one to end the kiss, intently looking at Lu Han with hazy eyes filled with lust, “I’ll fix everything. I’ll make everything alright.”

Lu Han blinked away the tears in order to focus on Shixun, “Y-You… You’ll have to leave one day…” His voice hitched as the words escaped his lips, “You…”

“I won’t.”

Lu Han’s eyes widened at the way Shixun spoke out those words with so much determination and confidence. Shixun said those words as if he had already decided for the two of them that he would never leave. For his and Lu Han’s sake, he would not leave. Shixun would not leave Lu Han behind.

Shixun probably did not know how beautiful that feeling is.

“I won’t leave you,” Shixun said, his eyes slowly turning into those crescent moons, “I’ll stay with you, forever.”

“Forever?” Lu Han repeated in unbelief.

Shixun nodded his head before leaning his forehead against Lu Han’s, an innocent smile dancing on his lips as he pecked Lu Han’s lips, “Forever.”

There was too much going on in Lu Han’s mind, simply too much. There was no way he would be able to think rationally at the moment. He was too caught up in the moment. Right now, it was his heart making every single decision, and his heart wanted to believe in Shixun. If Shixun said they could have forever, Lu Han would believe in this forever. Because Shixun said he was not going to leave Lu Han, and that was all he ever wanted to hear. Lu Han always wanted someone to say that he was worth staying for. His mother never stayed for him, never found him worth staying for. Everything she wanted, Lu Han could not give to her. He would do his best to give Shixun all he had, everything he possessed or could get, in order for Shixun to stay. As long as Shixun would stay, he would absolutely do anything Shixun wanted him to do.

“You promise?” Lu Han asked with glistering eyes.

Shixun nodded his head while wearing a reassuring smile, “Whoever I might be, whatever I’ve lost, right now, it doesn’t matter anymore. I’m not going to leave you, no matter what happens. Even if I’ll get my memories back, even if I’ll have to go back to where I belong, I won’t leave you. I’ll make sure to have you by my side,” His eyes shone with loving possessiveness as he looked at Lu Han, “I’ll make sure to love you forever.”

He would have cried if he had not been so drained already. He certainly would have cried. Crying always seemed to happen these days, when the emotions were just too much and Lu Han did not know how else to express them. How else to let them out. However, right now, all he did was smile so brightly that it almost hurt. Lu Han never thought he could smile so widely. He never thought that he would smile so effortlessly in his life. Then again, there were so many things Lu Han thought could not happen. Shixun showed him that nothing was impossible again and again.  

“You’re able to forgive me?” Lu Han asked tentatively.

Shixun nodded his head, “The moment you told me you love me, I had already forgiven you.”

»

It was so strange to have two people in the apartment, so surreal. It was as if everything was a dream. It really seemed like a dream, and maybe it really was a dream. His eyes were hurting from all the crying, making it difficult for him to see clearly, so maybe this was all a dream, a hallucination, a visual product of too much wishful thinking. It would make sense if this all were to be a dream. But then he would reach out for Shixun’s face, touching it gingerly with his fingers, leaving a feathery trail on Shixun’s skin, letting his heart swell up and his heartbeat race up as it wished.

They were lying on Lu Han’s bed, pressed together and it was at the edge of becoming uncomfortable, but Lu Han did not want to let Shixun go. He wanted to hold onto Shixun, fall asleep with Shixun by his side. He wanted to drift off to dreamland next to Shixun. The thought alone already made him unconsciously smile.

“What are you smiling about?” Shixun asked curiously as he lovingly looked down at Lu Han, who had his head resting on Shixun’s shoulder, Lu Han’s hair tickling him slightly.

“I’m thinking that this is really isn’t a dream,” Lu Han said as he looked up with bright eyes and genuine smile.

Shixun draped an arm over Lu Han’s body, causing Lu Han to feel as if he was being protected from any harm, “It really isn’t.”

This was not a dream. Shixun was really, really next to him. Lu Han could only let his eyes flutter close and take in this moment of bliss, saving it as a previous memory in his mind.

“Shixun-ah…” Lu Han began after a while, stopping himself from falling asleep while listening to Shixun’s heartbeats.

“Hmm?” Shixun hummed, probably already slowly drifting off to sleep.

“I… I’m feeling so… So happy right now, so happy that I think I might die…” Lu Han turned around slightly to bury his face in Shixun’s shoulder, “Is this how happiness is supposed to feel?”

He heard Shixun chuckle, and it sounded so heavenly, “Yes, it is, Lu Han.”

“So this is happiness?”

Lu Han was not sure whether this was happiness, but he was pretty convinced that might be it. He always thought that he would only be able to find happiness if he could find his prince, who would take his hand and never let go. He always thought that as long as he could earn a lot of money, or find someone who had a lot of money, he would be able to get anything he want and feel the happiness he always lacked. He thought things were like that. However, here he was, lying on his old, creaking bed beside Shixun, their limbs tangled with each other, moonlight reaching inside through a small window that had paint peeling off, and suddenly all those thoughts went out of the same window where the moonlight got inside. All of a sudden, there was this beating of his heart as the thought popped up in his mind that this might probably be happiness.

But you’re not everyone, and what makes everyone else happy doesn’t have to make you happy.

This might be his happiness.

Shixun changed their position, slowly moving up and getting on top of Lu Han, making the smaller male feel nervous all of a sudden. However, the moment Shixun flashed him that beautiful bright smile, there really was no way Lu Han could continue feel uneasy. Those feelings vanished like the wind. Shixun loved him, and he loved Shixun.

“What do you think?” Shixun asked with a childish grin.

Lu Han’s eyes shone, “I think you’re my happiness.”

Right now, this moment was eternity. This moment was happiness. Being with Shixun was happiness. Holding onto Shixun was happiness. Shixun loving him was happiness. It was not only Shixun’s being, Shixun’s existence that brought happiness, but everything that came along with this wonderful person called Shixun. It was all the pleasant surprises, all the beautiful moments of clarity and all the heavenly moments of desire that made him feel that Shixun was happiness. Shixun somehow equaled to happiness. Lu Han did not know how the math went, but he thought that the answer was already enough. As long as he knew the answer, it would be enough.  

Shixun was his happiness.

Shixun smiled gently at him, “And you’re mine.”

Shixun said before pressing his lips against Lu Han’s, and Lu Han welcomed this piece of heaven with open arms.

»

Waking to Shixun’s sleeping face was like drops of honey dropping onto Lu Han’s tongue. It was overwhelmingly sweet, overwhelmingly heartwarming, and Lu Han was not certain whether he dared to let his heart get used to such bliss. He wanted so dearly to have this for a lifetime that he was not sure whether he could risk wanting this. It was ironic, it really was, but Lu Han was scared of his own wants. He was frightened of wanting this too much. He wanted so much that he was frightened of what would happen if he were to lose it all.

However, the moment Shixun opened his eyes and sleepily looked into his own eyes, there was something inside of him that told him that he should not think. He should not think about how or who or what. There was, essentially, no need to do so. He just needed to focus on the now, the present, and what he wanted the most right now. It was still frightening, still felt as though he was risking everything with this, but the way Shixun looked at him made him feel that it was all worth it. It was worth the gamble. He trusted Shixun.

“Morning,” Shixun said before throwing his head back against the pillow, strands of hair covering his eyes.

It took a moment before Lu Han could give a reply, “Morning.”

“We don’t have to go to the hostel until the afternoon, right?” Shixun said before strengthening his hold around Lu Han, “let’s sleep for a little longer.”

“But-” Lu Han began, already slowly trying to sit up, “it’s already-”

However, before Lu Han could even start to really sit up, Shixun had already thrown himself on him, lazily draping himself over Lu Han while his face was buried in the crook of Lu Han’s neck, “Let’s stay like this for a little longer.”

Lu Han had to bite down on his lower lip to prevent himself from grinning too joyfully, “You’re really demanding, Shixun-ah.”

“Am not,” Shixun muttered against his neck, the tickling sensation causing Lu Han to giggle.

“I need to meet up with Jongdae,” Lu Han said honestly, but his hands were already unconsciously holding onto Shixun’s arm around him, enjoying the feeling of Shixun holding him.

Shixun turned his head to look Lu Han in the eyes, and all of a sudden Shixun felt way too close. He felt way too close and it made Lu Han self-conscious, made Lu Han want to hide his face because the way Shixun was looking at him made him feel exposed. It made him feel as though Shixun could look right through the windows of the soul and into his loudly thumping heart.

“You’re meeting up with him again?” Shixun said, a frown gradually forming.

“Again?” Lu Han said while blinking his eyes, “What do you mean, again?”

An expression appeared on Shixun’s face that showed shock, “I- Nothing.”

“How did you know?” Lu Han asked, genuinely curiously, before a knowing expression appeared, “They told you.”

“I… I needed to know how you were doing, since you wouldn’t show up,” Shixun said, a little bitterly.

Lu Han’s expression fell, “I’m sorry, Shixun-ah. Actually, I did went to see-”

“I know,” Shixun said before leaving a kiss on Lu Han’s cheek, “Yixing told me.”

“Yixing did?” Lu Han said, the unhappiness filling him for one split second before the understanding washed over him, “I… He must’ve felt burdened, being squeezed right between us.”

“He was worried about you,” Shixun said, hand slowly reaching Lu Han’s face to his cheek tenderly, “I was worried about you.”

Lu Han tried his best to ignore the pleasant feeling caused by Shixun’s touch, “Ah, I told him to give you back the coin! Did he give it back to you? It’s important to you, so I wanted to give it back to you-”

“It’s right here,” Shixun said with a smile as he reached into his pocket, finding it buried deep inside of it, and proudly showed it to Lu Han, “back into my hands.”

Lu Han sighed in relief, “Thank goodness, that’s good to hear.”

“But I want you to have it,” Shixun said as he went under the blanket and moved around to find Lu Han’s hand, gently pushing the coin in the other’s hand by intertwining their fingers, “I want you to have it.”

“You want me to have it?” Lu Han said with wide eyes, “But, Shixun, it’s something that means a lot to you-”

“I don’t remember anything about my past, although I do feel some attachment towards this coin,” Shixun said truthfully, “but I want to give this to you. It doesn’t really matter anymore, and if the coin’s with you, I’m sure it’ll be safe. I’ll be right next to you, remember? Whoever keeps it doesn’t really matter. It’s still ours.”

The smaller male’s eyes began to water, “Shixun-ah…”

“I give you my past, my heart, really my everything,” Shixun said soothingly, “so don’t you ever dare to think of leaving me.”

Lu Han shook his head slightly, “I would never.”

Shixun grinned, “It’s not like I would ever let you.”

Shixun swiftly and smoothly turned himself while getting up, positioning himself on top of Lu Han with both his long legs caging Lu Han. His palms were pressed against the mattress on both sides of Lu Han’s head. There was a playful glint in his eyes as he leaned down slightly, the corners of his lips curving upwards.

“You’re mine.”

»

“How are you doing?” Kyungsoo asked as he sat down across Chanyeol, the large desk between them having piles of files.

Chanyeol glanced up at him with a tired smile before gesturing to the piles he needed to work through, “Could’ve been better.”

“I thought most projects were finished,” Kyungsoo said, feeling a little uneasy at the sight.

Chanyeol nodded his head, “Sehun already made sure most projects were done. However, there’s one project that Sehun had just started on, and there are some problems with it,” He looked around for the file before opening it and showing it to Kyungsoo, “The proposal is approved and the shareholders are really enthusiastic about this project, but we still need to buy the land. Some of the owners are unwilling to sell their land.”

“It’s the Incheon project, isn’t it?” Kyungsoo asked as he scanned the text quickly, nodding his head as he saw what the problem was, “Sehun promised he would be able to buy all the needed land before the end of August. The construction will start begin September.” 

Chanyeol nodded his head before throwing his head back against the back of the chair, “They already have the blueprints finished. Back then, Sehun was convinced that he could get all the owners to sell their lands. He even said that it wouldn’t matter if the owners would bargain for a higher price, as long as they would sell. However, some of them are reluctant to sell because they say they want to stay there,” He moved a hand through his hair, “We’ll need to convince them somehow, or else we’ll be making a big loss.”

Kyungsoo closed the file before giving it back to Chanyeol, “We’ll need to pay the place a visit then. Sehun was determined to do this project well. Let’s see whether we can talk with the owners. I’m sure that as long as we give them enough money, they won’t say no.”

There was a moment of silence before Chanyeol nodded his head, “I think that’s the only option. We’ll need to pay a visit to this hostel,“ Chanyeol showed Kyungsoo the list of the owners which land they needed to buy, ”because the owner of the hostel was clearly unwilling to even listen to what we had to propose.”

Kyungsoo looked at the name of the hostel.

Kim Minseok, owner of U&KIM hostel.