Yixing swallowed hard, he was really nervous. He picked up his phone for the nth time and dialed Jinki's number. He gasped when he heard his hyung's voice.

"Hello?"

"..."

"Yixing? Are you there?"

"N-neh hyung... U-um... Would that be okay if I came over?"

"Of course, why are you even asking? Don't you always come over without warning me beforehand?"

"Uhh... I guess I do, haha. Umm... I'll see you in a few minutes then. Bye" he hung up without waiting for Jinki's answer.

Jinki opened the front door and as soon as he saw Yixing he grabbed his hand and dragged him to his room. He closed the door behind them and took Yixing's face in both hands inspecting it carefully from each side.The younger blushed and lowered his head slightly avoiding Jinki's strong gaze.

"Are you okay? God Yixing do you have any idea how worried I was? What the hell was that, last time, huh? You suddenly broke down and started crying and left without explaining anything to me. Do that again and I'll give you a good spanking, got it?" Jinki put his hands on his hips waiting for an answer.

Yixing was silently staring at his feet for a longer while and just when the older was opening his mouth to speak again he muttered "I'm sorry".

Jinki sighed and grinned. "It's okay. Just don't run away like that ever again after making me so worried."

"Um.. Not for that. I-I mean I'm sorry about this too but I'm apologizing for... t-touching you like that yesterday. It kind of got out of c-control." he glanced over at Jinki then hurriedly dropped his gaze back to his feet.

The older was a bit taken aback, he blushed slightly. "It's okay, why are you even apologizing? It's not like you forced me to do anything, right? It seemed like you needed it so I went along with it." he cleared his throat remembering Yixing's hands roaming all over his body.

"That's the problem hyung." he muttered "You shouldn't have let me do this... I know you wanted to help me, make me feel better but it wasn't like that for me."

"E-eh? What do you mean?"

Yixing closed his eyes and exhaled slowly trying to gather up some courage. It's now or never. He opened his eyes and looked straight into Jinki's eyes "I did that because I wanted you." he swallowed "I love you hyung."

The older only furrowed his brows like he was trying to figure something out. 

The younger sighed resigned. He should have known it would be like this. Their relationship resembled that of lovers' so much that making Jinki understand that it was no longer just friendship on his part would be extremely challenging. He decided that maybe actions would speak louder than words.

He grabbed Jinki's chin softly and pulled him for a kiss making sure it wasn't just a peck that would be easily misunderstood. Then he moved to the older's ear, squeezed his eyes shut and repeated in a low voice "I love you hyung."

Jinki stiffened and looked at Yixing with wide eyes when he pulled away. "U-um.. I'm not sure wha-"

Yixing pulled Jinki back to his chest by his waist, their bodies flush against each other. The older yelped when he felt Yixing's lips moving along the side of his neck.

"Xing what's going on? A-are you or something? Because I don't think it's a good idea to-"

"It's not like that hyung..." he said while pulling away. His eyes were getting teary from frustration. "Don't you understand?--- I love you. Not like you love a friend. I love you in a way that makes me want to do all those things to you. I want to kiss you, touch you and make love to you." his lips quivered a bit as he waited for some kind of response from the other.

Jinki took a step back and Yixing felt his heart break but he only smiled sadly. "It's okay hyung. You don't need to say anything, I just wanted you to know the truth, I couldn't keep lying to you anymore. I'm not expecting anything from you so please don't feel burdened..."

Jinki was staring at the floor with wide eyes and parted lips. "How long?" he said, his voice barely coming out of his throat.

The other was a bit startled by the question, he answered hesitantly "I-I'm not sure myself... it probably started soon after that concert where I filled up for Jonghyun hyung when he got injured..."

Jinki took a few steps back and collapsed on the bed. "Oh my god." he covered his mouth with his hand.

Yixing was about to run to him and see if he's okay but he realized that the older probably didn't want him to get any closer. "I'm so sorry hyung." he felt a strong urge to start crying, he really regretted saying anything.

Jinki was staring into space with his eyes wide open. His brain was working at top speed, processing all the information. He started remembering all those times when Yixing was comforting him after his fights with Jonghyun, how he told the younger he had with him at the party, how he was the one that started the kissing habit between them. He suddenly felt sick. The only thing he could think about was how much he must have hurt Yixing. His best friend. His soul mate. A person that took care of him while hurting all by himself. How have I never noticed his feelings? I'm supposed to be his best friend and yet I didn't notice something this huge. He felt so ashamed of himself.

With a heavy heart he lifted his head to finally look at Yixing. The younger was crying softly into his knuckles not being able to hold the emotions in anymore. Jinki stood up and wrapped his arms around him pulling Yixing into his chest. "I'm so sorry Xing... I'm sorry for not noticing... I'm sorry for hurting you... I'm sorry for being so selfish..." he pulled away a bit to wipe Yixing's eyes with his thumbs and kiss the tip of his nose. Then he hugged the younger tightly once again and whispered "Please forgive me. You know how important you are to me, right? I would never ever hurt you intentionally, I treasure you way too much. You're the best thing that has happened in my life."

Yixing wanted to disagree, he wanted to say that Jinki didn't have a reason to apologize, that he was the one that had been taking advantage of him and lying to him for so long. That he didn't deserve all those kind words flowing out of the older's mouth. But he couldn't. He felt so relieved that Jinki didn't hate him, the emotions took over and he couldn't utter even one word. He only hugged Jinki tightly and sobbed quietly into his shoulder letting his feelings out.

"Shhhh... Don't cry baby... I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..." Jinki started to rock gently trying to calm the younger down. His heart was breaking knowing that he was the one that made Yixing hurt so much. He squeezed his eyes shut feeling his chest tighten. He had to make a choice and give the younger an answer but he had no idea what was the right thing to do.

After a few minutes Yixing stopped crying but stayed in Jinki's arms enjoying the warmth and the feeling of safety they gave him. He nuzzled into the older's neck and breathed in his scent.

"You smell so good hyung" he purred, his lips pouting.

Jinki chuckled softly and ruffled Yixing's hair playfully.

"I love you hyung."

The older smiled sadly. After a few seconds he opened his mouth to speak. "I know"