"You're really late" Suho stood up from the couch and went in the direction of the front door hearing someone come in. "You could've called me or something, I was worried sick you know." He spotted Yixing bent over, his forehead resting against the wall. He was shivering slightly.

"Xing? Are you okay?" he run over to the younger and grabbed his shoulders lifting him up. Yixing looked completely drained. His face was pale and emotionless, his eyes red and puffy, but what worried Suho the most was that they looked hollow and out of focus. The younger didn't even seem to notice his presence. Yixing was looking straight through him like he wasn't even there. A thought ran through the leader's mind, his eyes widened. He shook Yixing slightly "Yah! You didn't take anything, did you?!". The other was unresponsive, he wobbled a bit on his legs and Suho grabbed his arms to hold him up. "Goddammit Yixing".

He carried the younger piggyback to the living room and laid him on the couch covering him with a blanket. Suho sat next to him and brushed Yixing's hair from his face. The younger was asleep, breathing steadily, but the leader noticed that tears started to flow from his eyes. He's crying in his sleep. 

Suho's chest squeezed painfully, it was a truly heartbreaking sight. He lifted his hand and caressed Yixing's cheek lovingly. "Why are you always the one that gets hurt? Hmm?" he said, his voice barely audible "I wish you were happy, you deserve it more than anyone else." he wiped the younger's eyes and softly his hair.

"I'm sorry Xing." he whispered, his lips quivering "I wish I could protect you from all this pain, but I can't. I'm useless, aren't I?" he chuckled bitterly. 

"Hyung. Joonmyun hyung." Yixing shook Suho lightly. The leader's eyes snapped open, he looked around with a drowsy gaze. "Hyung, you can't sleep like this, you'll catch a cold"

"-eh..." Suho looked at Yixing who was now sitting next to him. He straightened up, suddenly remembering what had happened. "Yah. I should give you a good scolding. What time do you think you came home? Don't you have a phone?" Suho wasn't really angry, he was wondering whether it was okay for him to ask about what had happened to the younger for him to come back in that state.

Yixing lowered his head "I'm sorry... I wasn't thinking.." he looked really apologetic and Suho immediately felt bad for saying anything.

"Xingieee." he ruffled the younger's hair "I'm not angry so don't look like a kicked puppy, got it? I was just worried about you"

"I'm sorry" he bowed his head even lower.

Suho sighed "Okay then. Apology accepted." he said smiling. Then his face fell, he remembered what he had to ask.

"Xing..." he started hesitantly "...Why did you come back so late? You seemed really ...out of it..."

The younger stayed silent staring at his lap.

"Look... It's okay if you don't want to tell me what happened, or if you're not ready. It's okay"

"...It's not like that hyung..." Yixing muttered "It's just... I'm really ashamed of myself." he curled up pulling his knees to his chest.

"What I did... I didn't plan to do it. I really didn't... I just wanted to say goodbye and let them be happy... But I couldn't do it right." Yixing's eyes teared up "When I...-when I saw him I suddenly felt like I couldn't let him go... What I did... I knew he'd let me do it... whatever I wanted..." his breath hitched "... and I took advantage of it. I kept telling myself that I was saying goodbye but that wasn't true. I just... grew so possessive at that moment, I wanted every part of him to be mine. And I kept going... I just can't help myself around him. I... lost my mind, my body was moving on its own. I wanted him so much..." he hid his face in his knees in shame "...But the guilt was eating me alive, I felt so disgusting that I was forcing myself on him... But he never said anything... He even hugged me and said it was okay" he sobbed out "How was that okay?! H-he shouldn't have let me do this to him. He should have p-pushed me away. He should have hated me!" he bit his lip "...I hate myself." he whispered.

"Don't say that. Don't you ever say that again." Suho said, his voice strong and slightly threatening. "And you didn't do anything wrong. You didn't force yourself on him, he let you do whatever you did. He let you do that because this is how much he treasures you. He let you do that because apparently he thinks you deserve him. You didn't do anything against his will, so he doesn't have a reason to hate you. And neither do you." he put an arm on Yixing's shoulders and pulled him to himself. "And I still don't understand why you keep thinking that 'Jinki hyung doesn't love you like that'. Do you think he'd let anyone else do anything they wanted to him? You're special, and you should finally understand that."

"You don't get it hyung..." Yixing said, his voice low "I told you that the one he wants isn't me. It's Jonghyun hyung. Do you think he'd be getting so hurt if he didn't love him? Every time something happens between them he's suffering so much it hurts to watch." he swallowed remembering Jinki's tear-stained face and his heartbreaking cries. "Jonghyun hyung loves him, so the only way for him to finally be happy is to let them be together. I'm just a third wheel in their relationship..." he smiled bitterly. "There was... there was a time when I had hope. On that Ferris wheel, I really felt something between us, I finally felt like he was looking at me in a different way... Not like you look at your brother or friend. I thought... I thought I had a chance. But I didn't. I don't think I ever really did..."

Suho sighed. He still didn't agree with the younger but there was no point in arguing at that moment. "Did you at least tell him how you feel?"

Yixing looked at him with wide eyes "What? No! Of course not." he rested his chin back on his knees hugging them tightly "How could I do this to him? I would only make things worse, he'd only feel troubled and that's the last thing I want for him. He doesn't need another burden."

Suho's brows furrowed. "It's not right Yixing. You should tell him how you feel, don't you think he deserves to know? If you don't want to do it for yourself then you should do it for him. He should know the truth."

"I don't think that's a good id-"

"Please Yixing." Suho cut him off. "Do it for me. Promise me you'll confess to him."

The younger thought for a while then sighed. "Okay"

Guys I don't know anymore... I'm just going to go with the flow. I'm starting to change my mind about the ending but I don't know...

Thank you for all your comments, they really mean a lot to me <3