The ritual came over again. It washed her once more. The same day happened in this city. Getting up early for business. The familiar flair she would present. It all happened over again. Unintentionally, there was someone missing. The blankness that would be never filled anymore. Unless there was a way to occupy it. She was thinking, was there any possible way it happen?

No.

It was almost impossible.

Bringing a kid who lived with her father now.

The morning she woke up to have made her realized how things started differentiating from what it used to be. She thought that she’ll be tough. She thought that everything was going to be alright. She thought no one can break her now. And all that assumptions went around her before it hit her; the moment she woke up without Byul beside her. For a second, she was completely paralyzed until slowly the memory from the night before seeped in her head. Everything. Every single thing. The way Junmyeon would hold her, kiss her and lock gazes with her.

However, he left.

 Byul left.

Even before you realized it.

So this was the meaning of his words that night.                     

What a nice way to say goodbye.

Because of him, she felt vulnerable now. In any time at this instant she felt like she would break down. But she endured it, though it was hard. Every second that passed was suffocating her. When she wished she could find her peacetime away from Seoul, it was a complete contradictory. After all this happened, she seemed stuck in the middle of the messiness. How she was going to face this? Was there any resolution anyway?

“Sunhwa?”

She looked up after hearing the voice that breaking her long trance. As she realized the incoming familiar person, she broke into a genuine smile, perhaps for the first time in that day.

“Kai…” 

He grinned as wide as his mouth could do. He took a sit at the kitchen counter as he casually extended a hand reaching for a mug of coffee. It was not a surprise that Sunhwa would always prepare two mugs of coffee as Kai would came over at early morning. Almost complementarily. To her, it was just another ritual.

At first, they sat in silence. Munching the bread silently that somehow felt hard to chew. For a moment, Kai scrutinized the food which only then he realized it was not the bread problem. It was how tense the atmosphere they were in that made him felt hard to consume the food. Somehow, he felt like his stomach was twisting. He could deduce that something not good had occurred in the past few days.

“What happened in Busan?” He asked straight away. He knew Sunhwa returned to Seoul yesterday. So he also knew Junmyeon had come to Busan the day before she went back.

Sunhwa looked up at him as she swallowed her last bite. “What happen what?”

A sigh escaped his lips as he saw the made-up confuse look in her face. He knew she was faking it.

“You know what? Becoming an actress doesn’t suit you.” He said in a matter-fact manner in which her expression turned unhappy. He quickly dodged his head with his arms lifted to defend himself when she motioned her right fist to him.

As efficacious his attempt was, she gave up and rolled her eyes instead.

“Lucky you I’m not in the mood to chop your head.”                             

He snickered for a moment. “Not in the mood? Why? Why? What happened? Didn’t Junmyeon come to your place?” He leaned closer over the table, raising one eyebrow.

“No!” She protested with a frown when suddenly a thought hit her. She paused. Her defensive expression earlier subsided as it replaced by a suspicious wary face. “Wait…” her round eyes getting narrow as she leaned over to him, making him slowly backed away now.

 “How… do you know Junmyeon came to my place?” She wittily asked, sending a shudder right away to the guy in front of her. Nevertheless, he insisted to keep a calm and steady composure. He shrugged at once, “I’m just guessing.” His tone was way too casual than Sunhwa could ever think. If she could read his mind, she might already whack his head off on the spot.

Her eyes hadn’t quit from its narrow state as she was suspecting Kai more than anything and she was going to make him tell her on whatever he was trying to hide from her. If possible she would like to dig his brain away. But that would be the heartless of her. She sighed. Her eyes returned to its normal size. Noticing that, Kai seemed to relax in his position now.

He folded his arms to his chest. A sly smirk pulled across his tanned face. “So… you admit that Junmyeon really come to your place.”

Sunhwa couldn’t help but mentally cringed when she heard that. She hated it when he was teasing her. She decided not to say anything but only wait for the right moment.

“Did something intense happen between the two of you?”

She just narrowed her eyes at him.

“Did he do something to you?”

Continue to narrow.

He gasped. “Or perhaps, did he touch you?”

More narrow.

“Or maybe you two did something that you’re not supposed to do!” He exclaimed.

Her eyes rounded this time, as if she just caught off guard.

“Oh my God!” He covered his mouth with one hand as the other point at her. “This is what I afraid about. I shouldn’t have given the ke-”

He halted mid-air.

Sunhwa knitted her brows.

He shouldn’t give what?

“You shouldn’t what?” She titled her head to the side as she continued frowning.

“Err…” He trailed as he held down both of his hands. He frowned, nervously clicking his fingers. Either he was thinking on what he should say now or perhaps mentally scolding himself for being so noisy earlier. Most probably, both.

Sunhwa scoffed. “I should know it. You’re the one who told him about my house in Busan right?”

Kai gawked at her. “What the-”

“Don’t you try to fool me around now.” She snapped.

“No. It’s just… I…” Kai breathed, quite helpless on providing a good reason. Moreover, he was facing a smart woman that always suspicious about him more than anything. But that was not the end yet. “…I should not just let you go to Busan that day.” He tried to at least, to appear casual hoping she would fall for it. Sunhwa was the type that easily believed with people she knew long.

A faint smile graced her lips. For a second he thought he managed to trick her.

“You know what? Becoming an actor doesn’t even suit you.”

Kai immediately shut his mouth tight. Feeling disenchanted at her remark. Sensing he had no alibi to explain anymore, just by considering how stubborn and insisting this girl could go. She really knew how to get him back. He almost forgot to describe that she just not any type that easily believe people. Because she hardly believe when things involved outsiders. In this case, Junmyeon it was. But he could feel something was missing.

“Aish…” He finally expressed, ruffling his dark brown hair. “Alright, you won.”

Sunhwa’s smile had become wider this time. Probably she didn’t even notice it herself. Kai just raised an eyebrow for that.

“So what if I tell him about your place? What’s the big deal anyway?”

“Of course it is. And you give him the key, don’t you?”

“What? Key? Uhm, no.” he shook his head, a glint of confusion emanated. Most probably, a fake one.

She grunted. “ugh, Kai. Stop denying.”

Kai let out an amused laugh seeing her looking desperate now. Why she was so enthusiastic just to know about that?  “Oh my God Sunhwa. Okay… I did give him the key.” He calmly told her. Mentally hoping she wouldn’t fuse up about it. Weird enough, she wasn’t that furious actually. This was actually the thing that missing. Because from his own counting, she supposed to shriek a second ago. But she did not. She merely stared at him with that blank serious face as if waiting for his explanation. “…and I give the key to him so he can enter your house, in case you’re locking him outside.”

Impulsively she lightly smacked his hand that was currently resting on top of the table. Nice spot. He instantly retracted his hand away, rubbing it as to sooth the faint sting.

“I’m not heartless like that.”

“Hmm whatever you say.” He nodded multiple times with a nonchalant face. Actually careless of whether she really did it or not. He fond to know about something else.

“But seriously, has something happened in Busan?”

She blinked blankly. “Nothing.”

“Sunhwa…”

“Kai…” she called softly. A certain crestfallen projected from her face. Somehow she made him worried. He wondered what caused her to look downcast like this.  It was obvious she was keeping something from him. She never been this secretive to him. It must had bothered her so much that she refused to open up to him. Seeing her pleading face made him sighed for another time. It was not easy to break her super guarded wall.

 Perhaps next time would do.

:.::.:.::

“appa why umma don’t stay with us?” the little girl suddenly brought up the topic when Junmyeon was studying the paper works in his room alone until Byul came inside. He cannot help but look up after her question. His stern face early slowly softened as he watched his daughter went closer to his side.

“Because… your mom cannot sleep with us.” He simply replied.

“Why cannot?”

“Cannot because…” he trailed as curiosity raised inside the little girl that she even tilted her head waiting for his answer.

Finally he sighed, no choice but to explain her honestly, “look Byul... Sunhwa, the one who you always call as your mom is actually not your mother... alright?”

Byul frowned, “I know that.”

Junmyeon’s eyebrows twitched in surprise. So she knows Sunhwa is not her birthmother.

“-but Sunhwa mom adopts me, she’s the one who raised me up.” She said.

Junmyeon’s expression remain serious as he continued to look at his daughter, but she still doesn’t know that Sunhwa already exonerate her parental right to me... He exhaled as he put aside the papers. He pulled Byul by her right hand making her seated in front of him on the bed. Affectionately he reached out to her hair. “B