The place is still the same as it was all those months ago, hidden in the shadows of the busier more modern storefronts, with little to offer on the outside. The lights are still a dim yellow that bathes the entire place in a sickish tint, and the floors are still a glossy clean that causes shoes to squeak against it with each step taken. It isn’t as empty as it was that night. There’s one other person there now, a girl possibly in her late teens, sitting on a red cushioned bar stool, sipping a milkshake while staring down at her phone.

Luhan walks up beside her and selects the fudge ice-cream from the glowing digital board. Yixing is already there, seated at the table furthest from the service counter and facing the shop’s entrance. When Luhan turns away from his friend he catches the eyes of the girl beside him. He mutters a simple greeting, watching as she nods in acknowledgment, her eyes now focused on the pink counter in front of her as she goes back to sipping her milkshake.

“Why here,” Yixing asks when Luhan finally takes a seat.

“Do you know this place,” Luhan asks in return. The seats are just as uncomfortable sober as they were when he was drunk.

“No,” Yixing answers “It’s kind of ugly,” he adds on, looking around the place, “but in a charming way, I guess.”

“He brought me here the first night of your return. You went off with some girl and we went to eat ice-cream,” Luhan smiles down at the bowl in front of him as he recalls the absurdity of it. “Hadn’t been home in years, yet still managed to know the city better than me.”

“You would never go to a place like this on your own,” Yixing says. He’s smiling as well, his dimple making an appearance as he twirls a spoon into the melted mess of his strawberry ice-cream. “We loved finding places like this. They’re so different than what we knew growing up.”

“If you want different you should try eating breakfast in District Six,” Luhan tells him. “It’s like being transported to a different world, like one of those pre-war pictures where everything looks perfect and happy.”

Yixing quirks a brow at the statement but doesn’t question it further. “Where’s Minseok?”

“My place most likely,” Luhan says with a shrug. “I haven’t been home in hours.”

Yixing hums in understanding as he drops his spoon and sits back. “Why did you want to meet me? Have you decided?” He’s not looking at Luhan, he’s staring past him at the girl near the counter with a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

“I’m still wavering,” Luhan admits. “I should stay.”

Yixing eyes flicker to him, hard and assessing, the fake smile still there. “You don’t want to,” He reminds Luhan. “You’ve always talked about running away and now the opportunity has fallen right into your lap. You don’t have to play hero or martyr, Luhan…” he trails off, taking a hand off the table to reach into his pocket.

He pulls out a thin beige envelope and slides it across the table.

“What is this,” Luhan asks, reaching out to take the envelope and open it.

“Your pass to leave the city during Mourning,” Yixing answers. “Maybe you need to get out to decide if you want to stay out. This gives you 14 days. You can Minseok, and if you still don’t know, you can visit Junmyeon’s site.”

Luhan looks down at the travel pass, feeling the tension he’d been carrying bleed away. He looks up and notices Yixing watching him with his real smile back.

“You know,” Yixing starts off. “I always knew Minseok was an Imperfect,” he says in a whisper. From the moment I first met him I had my suspicions, but I had never seen you so infatuated and I could tell he felt the same. So, I ignored it because I knew he would be the one for you.”

Luhan tries not to scoff at Yixing’s words, he does roll his eyes as he places the papers back in the envelope. “We’ve had this discussion before, remember? Back in high school, you thought that girl you dated was the one. What was her name again? Aya? I told you then that there was no such thing as the one.”

“I was wrong about her, but I think you were wrong about that,” Yixing admits. “There obviously isn’t a forever, even for us Perfects, but I think there is a perfect person out there for everyone. I think Minseok’s that person for you, and you might not have forever, but I can see you lasting a long time even if you do end up separating for a while.”

 “You’re too sentimental for a Perfect,” Luhan says, in place of all the other thoughts swirling through his head. The dimple is still there, the smile is still gentle, but it’s off now. He wants Yixing to be wrong, not because he’s afraid of Minseok being that person and of them separating. He wants Yixing to be wrong because he’d rather not think that Yixing has already lost that person to him.

“I know,” Yixing says with a laugh. “It’s my flaw or whatever, I’m a romantic.”

“And the other paper,” Luhan asks finally, referring back to the things inside the envelope.

“A letter,” Yixing says. “Ask Minseok to translate it. I think he’ll be able to. I’m not sure that it will help you with your decision, but it will help you understand the past a bit more.”

Luhan nods his head in understanding, letting the silence surround them as he thinks of what exactly the letter might say. “I have something for you as well,” he says finally, reaching into his other pocket and pulling out his own paper.

Yixing looks it over and puts it away. “If you were to stay, when would you come back?”

“Till we can be together without the threat of our lives being at stake,” Luhan admits. “If I stay with Minseok, you can come visit in the meantime, use those skills of yours for the greater good.”

“The greater good,” Yixing repeats with a laugh. “Luhan, making sure your alcohol supply doesn’t run low is not the greater good. Are you going to tell the others?”

“No,” Luhan answers with a shake of his head. “There’s no point getting them worked up over a possibility. Besides, I’ve never been good with goodbyes, you know that.”

When Luhan stands to leave, he grabs onto Yixing and pulls him into a tight hug. “Be safe,” he whispers to his friend.

“Don’t worry about me,” Yixing says with a laugh. “Don’t worry about anyone just focus on keeping Minseok safe and figuring out what you want.”

Luhan pulls away and even though Yixing’s smiling he’s doing nothing to hide the sadness in his eyes. “I’ll probably give this to Kris,” Yixing says in reference to the white paper in his pocket. “He’s going to kill you when he gets the news.”

“Do you think he’ll understand,” Luhan asks. He doesn’t add on, but Yixing seems to understand exactly what he’s asking. Will they forgive him if he runs away?

“He’ll hate you for a while, Kyungsoo too for that matter, but I think out of all of us he’ll understand best. Maybe he can follow you up there with Chanyeol if things get too bad down here.”

“You all can,” Luhan says, even if he’s still not sure if he’s staying. “If it gets too bad down here you all can follow me up.” It feels weird speaking of leaving and staying in such a definitive matter without having decided what he’ll do. It feels like goodbye, and Luhan doesn’t know rather that’s a good or terrible thing, but he does know it’s necessary.

****

“You should be asleep,” Luhan says in greeting as he steps into his living room. Minseok is seated on the sofa, eyes on the television while a documentary on Caelum’s creation is playing. Luhan sits beside him. “We have a long day tomorrow.”

“Which is why you need sleep more than me,” Minseok retorts with a smile as he turns away from the television to face Luhan. His gaze softens, and his hand reaches up, caressing Luhan’s arm close to where the stitches had just healed.

Luhan grabs Minseok’s hand moving it away from his hidden scar, grinning. “I won’t change my mind. I want to do this for you. I need to do this for myself as well. You should know by now that I’m a bit paranoid and I won’t have any peace of mind till I see that you’re safe and where you want to be.”

Minseok’s frowning again, he’d been doing it on and off since learning that Luhan would be his .

Luhan leans forward, pressing a soft kiss against Minseok’s lips. “It’ll be okay. I’ve got everything arranged, and even this now...” he reaches into his pocket and pulls out the pass that Yixing gave him.

“What’s this,” Minseok asks, taking the sheet and examining it.

“Special permission to participate in the Mourning at the Kim family estate in Starfall. This slip of paper will get us pass any inspection without us needing to say a word.”

“Thank you,” Minseok says suddenly. The television is off and Luhan has taken back the paper. They’re moments away from heading to bed. “I’ve said it before, haven’t I? You’ve done more than you needed to, much more than I expected. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to repay you.”

Luhan tilts his head at that, a smirk gracing his lips as he grabs Minseok’s hand and pulls him out of his seat. “Living is enough of a payment. All I need is for you to stay alive. I want us to grow old together and die happy in our old age, not a moment sooner.”

Minseok’s own smile surfaces as he studies Luhan’s face, his eyes bright in the dim light of the living room.

“Okay,” he says at last, stepping forward till there’s hardly any space between them. “Sounds easy enough.”

“Good,” Luhan says, choking on the word as he wraps his arms tightly around Minseok. “We should both go to sleep.”

****

It’s dark when they set out on their journey. The dawn is at most an hour away, and their limbs are still heavy with fatigue as they leave the safety of Luhan’s apartment. There are two bags in the backseat of the pickup truck Luhan bought for the trip, one being Minseok's red backpack filled with all the things he holds dear and his clothes. The other is a black duffle bag filled with food and black market paraphernalia Luhan decided to bring along. He hopes that his status will keep them from having their bags searched.

The sun has yet to have risen by the time they reach the inspection station at the edge of town, although the inky dark blue of the night sky has lightened in color. A gray uniformed trainee stands near the barricades blocking the only route into and out of the city. He approaches their vehicle with quick steps, appearing beside Luhan’s window with eyes bright and alert despite the early time.

“The Mourning is still in place,” he tells him in lieu of a greeting. His eyes move from Luhan to Minseok, face blank as he studies them.

“I’m aware,” Luhan says, handing over the pass he’d received from Yixing. He catches sight of the red of the trainee’s right cuff as he reaches for the paper, and stashes the information away in case the inspection goes awry.

The man’s next words aren’t directed to Luhan, but to his superior over his earpiece. Luhan turns away from him and towards the inspection station, half listening to the one-sided conversation for any red flags.

“Please come in for inspection,” the trainee tells them at last, handing Luhan back the pass.

They part inside, Minseok is led off to an exam room by the first physician that appears, and Luhan follows the next. The woman in charge of his exam asks him the basics at first; his name, his birth date, and his district, recording each word as they await the official that will watch over the inspection.

In the past, District police had primary control over the inspection buildings and borderlines. Luhan figures that with the rise of attacks, and the sudden need to have inspections even when departing the city, there will be a CNS member standing in for the inspection.

Minutes later Luhan’s guess is proven correct, however, instead of the CNS official he’d imagined, it’s the trainee from before, alone.

“The senior officer in charge has declared that we only check identification,” the trainee tells the physician. “This man is a close family friend of deceased officer Kim and we’ve been told not to hinder their journey. Traveling at night will be dangerous, even more so for an elite.”

The physician doesn't protest and simply picks up the silver identification chip reader, pressing it against Luhan's skin. It beeps a few times as the red display turns to green. The woman than looks up, reading the monitor behind Luhan's head.

Luhan can always tell when a person finds out he's a First Gen, the woman’s left eyebrow twitches as if she was going to raise it but decided against it. It's a split-second reaction, but it only takes a split second for someone to see the lowercase P in his ID number and know what it means.

"You're a First Gen," she asks Luhan, her attention is back on the chip reader, as she turns the device off it and places it next to the other tools. It’s a silly question to ask when she already knows the answer, but Luhan responds anyway.

"Yes," he says while rolling down his sleeve. "Is that a problem?"

The physician's eyes are on him, sweeping over his entire being, and he knows she's looking for flaws. They always look for flaws as if it’ll be spelled out on his skin. "Of course not. But, if you could, wouldn't you want to change it?"

"Why desire something I know I can't have," Luhan asks with a tilt of his head. "There hasn't yet been an antidote that doesn't counteract negatively with the gene we already have."

The woman's eyebrows are drawn so tightly together that Luhan can see the skin between them wrinkle. Her lips are pursed as well, she looks like she wants to say something, to suggest something, but she smooths out her expression and nods. "It's unfortunate indeed," she says. "If only more research could be done to fix that."

She turns away from him, picking up the tablet she’d been using and begins prodding at it as the trainee leads him out of the room.

"You have full clearance for the rest of the day," The trainee says, handing a small blue card to Luhan. "Any city you stop in will allow you to go through without any further inspections."

Minseok is standing beside the building's exit, his eyes on Luhan as he attempts to listen to what's being said.

"Are these new precautions the results of Junmyeon alone, or more?" Luhan asks, walking towards the exit with the trainee, hoping to get a broader picture of what to expect outside the borders of the city.

"It's a mix of reasons, I’ve been told," says the man beside him. "We’re on high alert to prevent more Imperfects from joining up with Rebels."

"And do you know if the ones that have caused my friend's death have been captured,” Luhan asks.

"Yes sir, one has been privately taken care of at Officer Kim's family's request. The other's execution date will be set soon, I believe."

Luhan leaves with a simple "keep up the good work" and Minseok trailing behind him.

Luhan pulls over when the city line is just a shadow in the distance. He follows the last few instructions he was given to have a safe journey without being tracked via the car’s GPS signal. Even with all the tricks and tips, he’s received, he finds the situation still worrisome. He is a high-profile celebrity, and if word got out of him being missing, he’s more than sure that he’d be easy to find.

The truck’s radio is missing. It was another signal that could be used to track them, so Luhan had it removed upon retrieving the vehicle. There's only the sound of their breathing and the rumbling vehicle's engine to fill the silence.

Minseok's eyes are on him, watching him with heavy interest.

"What," he asks, a grin on his lips. Minseok doesn't answer and Luhan chances a quick glance towards him. "What's wrong?”

"Nothing," Minseok says, his answer hardly heard over the noise of the truck's engine.

"Are you bored already," he teases. "Should we do something to pass the time?"

"What do you have in mind," Minseok questions.

"Let’s just ask each other questions," Luhan says. "There's still a lot of unknowns between us, and it'll pass the time quickly." He chances another glance towards Minseok. "You don't have to answer anything you don't like."

Minseok is quiet as he thinks over Luhan's words. "Okay," he says slowly, and Luhan can hear the hesitance in his voice. "You go first, ask me something."

There's a lot he could ask Minseok. There's so much he doesn't know about Minseok, both insignificant and major. "Remember when you told me you wanted to be a barista. Was that real?"

"Yes," Minseok says. "I wanted to own a coffee shop for years and employ actual people. We're, not just Imperfects but those of us from the poorer districts, we're not allowed to be seen. They keep us in factories and warehouses, out of the public eye, and I wanted that to change."

"So, you decided opening a coffee shop was the perfect act of rebellion," Luhan asks. He's not teasing him, he wants to understand him. It was the first piece of information he’d learned about Minseok and it had intrigued him. To want to own a shop or two wasn’t unheard of, especially from those in the poorer districts, but to want to work in a shop was different.

"If you go to a coffee shop in District One, Two, or Three, they all taste the same, right," Minseok asks him. Luhan nods, and Minseok continues speaking. "That's why I don't like them. Human coffee has its imperfections, but I don't think that makes it awful. Some people make their coffee sweeter, some make it more bitter than the standard. The heart you made for my coffee that day was lopsided, but I liked it because I could see your intentions behind it and how hard you worked. Machines can’t replicate that."

"So, we'll open a coffee shop when you return," Luhan says. "It can be a retro styled shop, you'll be the owner of course, and I'll just be a silent partner or something. I think I’m done making coffee for a while."

Minseok laughs and softly hits him. "You're such a dreamer."

"I don't think there's anything wrong with that," Luhan says, frowning.

"There isn't," Minseok says. "It's my turn, isn't it? Tell me a secret."

Luhan hums to himself as he tries to think of something unknown and lighthearted to start with. "I took Kris's ity when we were seventeen." It's probably something that shouldn't be said to a lover. Yet he can't think of much else. Besides, Minseok had never come across as the jealous type and always seemed to indulge in the rumors surrounding Luhan and his love life.

"Really," Minseok asks him, he turns to face him despite Luhan's eyes being back on the road. "Did you date?"

Luhan laughs, just from such a confession Minseok's mood seems to have perked up. "You're such a gossip," he teases.

"I am not," Minseok says in reply. "It's just interesting. You're both so close..." He trails off lost in thought, but Luhan can guess what he may be thinking.

"We didn't date," Luhan replies. "It wasn't exactly a relationship at the time either. We were both just very lonely and it helped things, you know. What's your secret?"

"I'm not telling you who I lost my ity to if that's what you were hoping for," Minseok teases. "Hmm, since the second grade, everything I've learned has been from my parents. I haven't had proper lessons in years. When I became an adult, I began learning on my own."

"What did you learn," Luhan asks.

"From my parents, I learned basic arithmetic and reading. My mother loved languages, and as a sort of protest, she taught me a few Imperfect languages. As an adult, I continued learning those languages. Some I can speak well, others I can read well. I learned how to function in this society, learned the laws, the history and science that govern our lives."

Luhan had learned the same laws and history, and yet he was sure that how they'd learned allowed Minseok to live and blend in a world that despised him, while it had caused Luhan to despise men like him. They could have read the same textbooks, and yet the outcomes had been extremely different.

"You were able to communicate with Tao because of the languages you learned," Luhan says.

Minseok nods, "Yes, that was one of the main languages my mother taught me, alongside her native tongue. It's why I felt a strong kinship to Jongin. He doesn't actually speak it, but the way he holds onto the honorifics and the meanings made him feel like family on our first meeting. It was nice. What's on your mind?"

“Sorry?" Luhan turns towards Minseok in confusion.

"That's my question," Minseok says. "What's been on your mind these past few days?"

Luhan hesitates and then pulls over to the side of the road. "Do-Do you think you can translate something for me? It looks like the same characters from my mother's journal."

Minseok quirks a brow but nods his head. "Sure," he says. "It may take me some time."

"That's fine," Luhan says, reaching into the truck’s glove compartment and taking the envelope that now held the yellowed sheet of paper and the picture of his father. He hands the paper over to Minseok, watching his eyes roam over the words of the letter. “There’s a lot that’s been going on since Junmyeon’s memorial...”

“You don’t need to tell me if you don’t want to,” Minseok tells him.

“I want to,” Luhan says, “but like I said, it’s a lot.” he has started to drive again. “Do you remember when I took you to my childhood home? You said you were sure that President Kim adopting me was a coincidence, did you really believe that at the time?”

“No,” Minseok admits openly. “I didn’t want to upset you further.”

“I think you would have been right,” Luhan says. “That, and what that might mean for my future has been haunting my thoughts lately.”

When it gets much too dark for Luhan to safely drive he stops. Luhan looks at a hand-drawn map underneath penlight, the words are hardly legible, the directions don’t make much sense, but it’s all they can rely on. There’s a deserted village a few miles from their location and it will be the first and only sign that they’re heading in the correct direction.  Minseok exits the vehicle first with Luhan following close behind. They won’t set out until it’s closer to dawn, preferring to take the time to rest versus getting lost at night in the middle of nowhere.

“Luhan,” Minseok calls out breathlessly, drawing his attention from his heavy thoughts. “Look up.”

A feeling of dread washes over him, fear causing his heart to pound with ferocity. His mind is racing, wondering if they’ve already been caught. He lifts his head ready to catch sight of a flying object with the seal of Caelum on it. Instead, he finds himself losing his breath at another sight, something he’d never seen before.

Stars, thousands of them, light up the night sky above them, twinkling in the open air. He’d seen stars before, on the web, in books and films, but he’d never seem them before above his head. Those images couldn’t live up to the sight of them sprinkled across the vast sky glowing above the pair of them as if promising to light them a path. It was a beautiful sight to bear witness to.

A hand on his shoulder causes him to look away and towards Minseok’s grinning face. He pulls Luhan towards the truck’s bed, climbing up onto it first and then gesturing for Luhan to do the same. They sit together, back against the front of the truck, Luhan leaning back to get a better view of the stars above of his head and Minseok humming softly.

"Are you nervous," Minseok asks him, he whispers even though they should be the only people for miles.

“Yes,” Luhan admits. “I knew it would be dangerous and difficult. I guessed it would be like this, but guessing and knowing are two different things. I don’t want to get this far and have it all be for nothing.”

“Do you regret coming with me?”

“No,” Luhan says. “I don’t regret this. I don’t regret meeting you, I don’t regret wanting to be with you, and I don’t regret falling in love with you.” He turns towards Minseok finally taking his eyes off the stars. “I mean it, I’m in love with you and I won’t regret anything even if we get caught.”

Minseok laughs. It’s a nervous sound that erupts from him as he looks away from Luhan. “You’re ridiculous, you know.”

“I know,” Luhan says.

“You shouldn’t be in love with me,” Minseok adds.

“I know,” Luhan repeats. “

“You know everything don’t you,” Minseok asks him, he sounds annoyed but curious.

“No,” Luhan says, “I want to. I want to know everything about you, but you’re hard to read. So, tell me Minseok, tell me something I don’t know.” He knows how he sounds, it’s hardly a step up from begging, but he feels like he needs to know. He’s convinced it won’t change or influence his decision, it has nothing to do with that. The possibility of separating and never truly knowing is what has him pressing to know now.

“What if I don’t want to,” Minseok challenges. Luhan draws away from him and looks towards the stars, hoping that the soothing calm he’d first felt when seeing them will return. It doesn’t.

He can feel his heart beating fast, or maybe it’s the feeling of it breaking. “You don’t have to then. That rule hasn’t changed.”

Minseok is quiet, “I am in love with you, Luhan, but I shouldn’t be. I shouldn’t have even gotten this far with you.”

“Stop thinking about what you shouldn’t be doing,” Luhan tells him, feeling the frustration grow inside of him. “Stop restricting yourself.”

“I can’t,” Minseok exclaims, glaring at Luhan. “I’ve been restricted my entire life, I can’t just stop being affected by my limitations.” His voice cracks and he shakes his head. “I’m sorry,” he says at last. “I’m trying.”

“I know,” Luhan tells him, wrapping his arms around Minseok and pulling him close. “I’m sorry too.” The apology feels bitter on his tongue. He still feels annoyed, but it’s not at Minseok and not really at himself either. It’s a vague annoyance at the world around them.

****

Minseok is asleep in the backseat when they get to the village on the map. It’s less village and more just ruins. He pulls over next to a slab of brick that may have been the foundation of a building and begins exploring. The sun has only just begun to peak beyond the horizon, the sky has begun to lighten in color, and Luhan uses the brief time to explore and sort out his thoughts. He doesn’t know what he’s looking for and even if he did he doubts he’d find the answer in the ruins. He’d be lucky to see even an animal in the surrounding area.

He returns to the truck having found nothing but rumble when the sky is still golden and cloudy. Minseok stands outside the vehicle, hands over his eyes as he attempts to look into the distance.

“Did you eat,” Luhan asks him, stepping over debris to get closer.

“Yes,” Minseok says, turning away from the direction he was staring into to look towards Luhan. ‘Did you find anything,” Minseok asks him. Luhan shakes his head and they board the car again. “I translated your letter last night while you were sleeping.”

“Was it hard,” Luhan asks. He doesn’t turn towards Minseok, he’s too busy navigating through the maze of ruins.

“Not exactly,” Minseok says, pulling two sheets of paper out of his pocket. “It’s a dialect that many Perfects wouldn’t get, but it’s commonly used throughout our districts. It’s the main language the rebels are said to use.”

“You’ve heard them speak it,” Luhan asks.

“Yes,” Minseok replies and begins reading it.

****

To Z.

I have not heard from J since he's gone back to the Grounds. I've sent word to him both digitally and written more than I should and haven't received any in return. I'm beginning to worry. Have you spoken to him recently?

Unfortunately, I have much more bad news to deliver. I believe they've caught on to me. I've been followed by expensive trucks to and from work. Last night a man by the name of Seunghwan Kim requested to meet me at the factory. He seemed familiar and I'm not sure why. He’s said to partially own the factory, but I'm sure there was more to it than what they pretended was a chance to introduce me as team leader. I've never ignored my gut which is why the two that come with this letter will be the last until the suspicion dies down.

My illness seems to be growing, and if my worries are correct I won't live long. I doubt they will help a person they assume is a Rebel, Perfect son or not. I fear for my son's fate if I die. Your nephew reminds me very much of your sister. He is kind and expressive and hasn't been brainwashed by what they're learning in school. With my death, I doubt that will last long. He's already seen as lesser for participating in the first experiments when he should be lauded. If he's sent to an orphanage the stigma will grow larger. It's why I need to reach J, I need to know if the Grounds has been compromised or not. I'll have K him there once I'm sure it's still standing. I'd rather have him with family than alone in this city.

X.

****

Minseok stops reading and folds the translated paper, placing it with the yellowed one. “I don’t know whose initials those belonged to,” he says in conversation.

 “X is my father,” Luhan says, “my real father. Z is my uncle apparently, and J or K may have been a family friend.” He instructs Minseok to retrieve the envelope from the glove compartment and watches from his peripheral as Minseok looks at the picture of his father for the first time. “My father may have helped with the founding of the Red Devils and President Kim may be related to Great Ruler. I’ve been a pawn in a power play that started when I was just a child.” He releases a hollow chuckle and finds himself explaining it all to Minseok.

He tells Minseok about the things Yixing told him and then about the compromise with President Kim. He finds himself confessing everything he’d learned over the last few days. Laying things bare doesn’t help, it only reminds him of how little control he has in his own life, how he’s been nothing but a toy to use for political schemes and entertainment.

“You’re amazing, Luhan,” Minseok tells him, suddenly. “Your father wasn’t wrong, you’re kind and considerate, and I think he’d be proud of the man you’ve become. President Kim has tried to take that away from you, but he couldn’t succeed.” He turns away, looking down at his hands. “We’ve all had to do things we didn’t want to in order to survive, it’s okay if you need to do so as well.”

Luhan doesn’t fall asleep as easily as he had the night before. He lingers awake, finally thinking over his decision. It would be easy, more than easy to just stay away, to run from obligations and politics. He didn’t owe anyone anything, he didn’t have to declare a side, didn’t have to fight for change. Minseok was an Imperfect but he wasn’t the face of them, he wasn’t even fighting himself. He doesn’t understand why running away feels like a betrayal then. Only, he does know why.

Minseok wants to live, but he’s given up hope on being accepted into society as an equal, and that’s why he’s running away from it all, from the compounds and from civilization. Luhan knows he has a high chance of being the only person to change that. He doesn’t know how he’ll stop a war that society doesn’t want to accept exists, or how to change the prejudice in the minds of Perfects, but he still has the ability to fight and try.

He makes his decision when the sun rises on another day and Minseok is leaning against him as he sleeps.

****

It’s quiet. Minseok is pressed against the window beside him, eyes focused straight ahead and Luhan is doing the same. They’re hundreds of miles away from civilization, and the rumbling of the truck’s engine has become rather comforting to them. Minseok’s hand has been in his own since they’d started on the road again. Luhan can feel the emotions fighting within him, wanting to fill the silence, wanting to hold onto Minseok tighter, wanting to do something.

He does nothing, the dread of their remaining hours seeping away keeps him frozen and silent. He prays the time will go slower.

“I’m sorry,” Minseok tells him when the sun has set on their final evening together.

“For what,” Luhan asks.

“I love you,” Minseok says. “I’ve been in love with you for a while, and I should have just said that from the beginning instead of making things more complicated.”

“I don’t mind it,” Luhan says. “I mean, of course I did at the time, but I thought about it and I understood.” Minseok is staring at him, eyes unreadable as he gazes with intent at Luhan. His lips quickly pull back as if he’s going to smile but he grimaces instead and looks down, mumbling a swear under his breath.

“I love you, Luhan,” he says again, looking into Luhan’s eyes once more.

“I love you too,” Luhan says, pulling Minseok into a tight embrace, pressing gentle kisses along his forehead. “So much,” he adds, laughing gently to himself even as he feels Minseok’s body begin to shake against him.

****

Minseok wakes an hour before the sun rises, he squints into the distance and then looks towards Luhan.

“You’ll have to walk the rest of the way,” Luhan whispers into the night, he looks towards Minseok and gestures towards the car’s doors.

“Have you gotten any sleep,” Minseok asks him as they climb into the truck’s bed, laying back to stare up at the few stars still in the sky.

“Bits here and there,” Luhan mutters, he looks away from the stars to glance at Minseok when he begins prodding at the bags under his eyes. “I don’t look much like a model now, do I?”

“Yeah, you do,” Minseok replies, pressing against Luhan’s side. “You’re going to need more than a few sleepless nights to not look like a model.” They fall into a comfortable silence as they stare at the stars waiting with restless hearts for the sun to climb over the distance and awaken the day.

Luhan notices the brownish grass first. He doesn’t look to the man beside him. He sees the white building leaning in the distance as if its moments away from toppling over. He focuses the way the windows glisten and sparkle in the early morning light and tries not to fixate on the weight of the hand in his own.

“Luhan,” Minseok calls out, breaking his focus. He looks over to the man beside him, Minseok has his red backpack in his free hand, his eyebrows are wrinkled together as if he’s trying hard to understand something. “I,” he starts off, stopping and blinking rapidly. “Don’t go.” The words seem to leave him in a hurry, catching him off guard. “I mean...” he tries again before trailing off and shaking his head. “Never mind, I’m just nervous.”

He makes to let go of Luhan’s hand, but Luhan stops him and turns to face Minseok head-on, frowning as he looks him in the eyes. “Minseok,” he says, “what do you want?” He pronounces each word slowly. “What do you really want, Minseok, don’t hide it.”

“You,” Minseok replies voice cracking, he turns away from Luhan and pulls his hand away out of frustration. “I always want you,” he laughs. It’s low and fake and it hurts. “I wanted you to press more, to ask me again, but you decided to stay. You never even tried to make me stay.”

“You’d die,” Luhan interrupts. “I want to prolong this more than you can even imagine, but I know you’ll die and I rather have you here and safe than dead. I…” he trails, breathing in deeply. “I want you too, Minseok. I want to be with you.”

“Then be with me,” Minseok challenges, looking at Luhan’s with an urgency Luhan has never seen before. Luhan falters at the request. He turns towards the building in the distance and then back to Minseok, the sound of his heart pounding in his ears.

“I...” Luhan starts off again, the words getting stuck in his throat. It would be so easy to stay, to start over, to live freely, but he knows better. “I need to go back, Minseok.” He looks at Minseok, refusing to not look away even though he wants to bow his head in sorrow. Minseok’s eyes are filled with resignation, and Luhan knows he expected that answer.

“Okay,” Minseok tells him, but he’s no longer looking at Luhan. He takes a step back and makes to walk away but Luhan stops him.

“I want to be with you, but not like this. I can’t sit around and wait for us to get caught. I need to do something, I need to do more, so I know that you’ll be safe.”

“I understand,” Minseok says, the whisper carrying over to Luhan through the still air.

Luhan reaches a hand out, his palm facing upward as he continues to watch Minseok. “I’ll walk with you if you’ll let me.” Minseok finally faces him again, but he’s not looking at Luhan. He’s looking past him towards the building. Minseok’s eyes are shining bright, the unshed tears illuminated by the morning sunlight. When he looks towards Luhan, Luhan watches as his eyes trace the tracks of his own tears. A familiar weight presses against his hand, and Luhan grips on tightly, afraid to let go a second time.

IT"S DONE!!! I wavered until the last moment about what Luhan would choose and I definitely almost made him stay at the last moment. Even though I did nearly cry, I'm not really fond of this chapter because I feel like it could have been better and I could have executed the final goodbye differently. In majority of the endings I thought over Minseok was going to leave Luhan behind, but I chose this ending because of all them this one seemed the most hopeful. Anyway, the author's note where I give my thanks and explain my future steps is next.