Reporters surround him the moment he steps out of his car.  Groups of them push forcefully into him as they ask callous and invasive questions that Luhan does his best to ignore while each strives to take the best picture of him mourning to fill their internet gossip columns. The bright continuous flashes produced by the camera hurt his eyes, and he finds himself cringing as he pushes blindly through the crowd of people towards the company’s parking garage exit.

When Luhan at last, arrives at his office, it’s empty. For the first time since she’d started working for him, Joohyun isn’t awaiting him at her desk. It’s odd, but Luhan figures that the young assistant has finally gotten tired of the office with an inconsistent boss, and horrible hierarchical politics, and has taken a day off.

His personal office is in the near exact state he’d left it in. The cleaners have come through and there’s a sterility to the room, but its overall emptiness is due to it lacking the personal artifacts that tended to be found in many offices. The only thing out of place is the black notebook on his desk, and a quick flip through shows that it’s filled with memos Joohyun has written from the time he had never returned from lunch two days ago.

Two days ago, Luhan’s biggest concern had been meeting with Minseok and working through the conflicted feelings he had for the Imperfect, yet on the other side of the city, his closest friends were facing something that only one of them came back alive from.

A knock breaks him from his thoughts, and he closes the notebook. He walks around his desk and takes a seat, calling for his visitor to enter.

Joohyun opens the door, a plate in her hand as she walks deeper into the room. “Hello sir,” she says, placing the dish onto the desk. “Your friend, Mr. Wu, called and asked me to bring you a meal. He said you haven’t yet eaten and may forget to once you were in the office.” Luhan tries not to frown as he looks towards the meal. He wasn’t particularly hungry and it annoyed him to have Kris treating him as if he was incapable of heeding his body’s needs.

“Thank you, Joohyun,” he mutters, staring at the plate with triangle-cut sandwiches and a side dish of an unknown vegetable. He glances back up to the girl and notices her frown as she stares at him. He frowns back, raising an eyebrow in question.

It pulls her away from her thoughts and she drops her gaze, hand reaching up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “Kim Minseok wanted me to inform him if you made it in today,” she tells him. The frown slips away, and Luhan finds himself dropping his gaze to his desk and the plate in front of him to hide the surprise that seizes him.

“Right,” he says nodding slightly, hand reaching towards the black notebook still on his desk. “Please do so when you get the chance,” he says in dismissal.

The sandwich consists of a leafy pale green imitation lettuce and an imitation chicken. The real versions are rare and expensive for most people, although Luhan can recall Minseok mentioning that Nessen provided all employees with real meat and vegetables once a fortnight. He called it an incentive, something that made people want to work for the company. Luhan would trade all the real meat and vegetables in his home to not have to work another day as a Nessen employee. The lettuce tastes eerily like the real thing save for the strange aftertaste, while the chicken is much too rubbery for his liking. Despite the strangeness, he gets through a quarter of the meal as he works on the files and paperwork left for him.

Later in the day, Joohyun’s clear crisp voice breaks him out of his concentration as she speaks to him over her intercom. “Sir, Minseok is here,” she says.

Luhan looks down to the confidential proposal he was suffering through, groaning at the thought of needing to reread it, but closes it anyway, and presses one of the many buttons on his desk. “He can enter,” he says to the open air.

Less than a minute later his office door opens and Minseok steps through. Luhan looks him over as he walks pass the plush leather seats in the room to instead stand ramrod straight in front of Luhan’s desk. His shoulders are tight with tension, his hair is styled well, he looks healthy despite the tired lines in his face.

“How are you,” Minseok asks him, and Luhan stops trying to decipher the unreadable look in his eyes as he tries to busy himself with the things on his desk. He skims through Joohyun’s notebook once more as he struggles to find the answer to the question.

“Okay,” he decides at last. “I’m okay, given the circumstances.”

Minseok nods a little nod, his hand reaching into the pocket of his slacks. “And Yixing,” he asks next.

“… Worse,” Luhan replies. “I think. I haven’t seen him since that day, but he was bad then and I don’t think he’s gotten any better since. Minseok nods again, and then there’s silence. Minseok doesn’t say a word and Luhan tries his best to figure out how to ask Minseok why he’s there without coming across as rude or too hopeful.

Minseok manages to start talking once more before Luhan can come up with the right tone of voice. His eyes look over the room, refusing to meet Luhan’s as he speaks. “Do you know when the memorial will be,” he asks next.

Luhan shakes his head in answer. “Soon, they’re holding the private service today, and they’ll want to capitalize on his death as quickly as possible. Nothing like the death of an elite by enemy’s hands to really push forward an agenda.” Minseok flinches, it’s small and hardly visible, and Luhan only sees it because he’s staring too hard. He doesn’t look away though, even as he reprimands himself for his staring. Instead, he watches as the Imperfect finally pulls his hand out of his pocket, presenting the pills Luhan had forgotten about when he’d left Minseok’s home.

“I came by to give you these,” Minseok says, sliding the bottle across the desk.

“I thought you didn’t want me taking these,” Luhan replies, picking the pills up and placing them inside the inner pocket of his suit jacket.

“I don’t have any say in what you do,” Minseok reminds him.

Silence returns then. Minseok fidgets restlessly, and Luhan wants to slam his head into his hands in exasperation. He doesn’t know why it’s so hard to hold a simple conversation when it used to come so easy for them even before they were together. He can take a guess at when they had both started feeling self-conscious in the others’ presence, but that didn’t mean he knew how to fix things.

“I’ll go,” Minseok says at last. Luhan looks up then, he’s unsure of when he’d stopped staring at Minseok. Despite the many thoughts in his head, one pushes forward demanding that he stop Minseok from leaving so they can work through the awkwardness that has manifested.

“Have lunch with me,” Luhan says on impulse. Minseok stops in his steps only feet away from the door. The unreadable look in his eyes has left as he turns and stares at Luhan, eyes wide and shoulders still tense.

“What,” Minseok asks in return, the confusion in his voice easy to be heard.

“Have lunch with me,” Luhan repeats with more confidence than before. “You haven’t eaten yet, have you? I know it’s your lunch hour, so accompany me. Please?”

****

They are in Luhan’s car again. It’s the only place they can have the type of conversations they now have without Luhan worrying that someone will overhear them. So, like a new found tradition, they sit in Luhan’s car on a near empty side street in District One. Minseok is tense, he hadn’t relaxed once since they’d walked out of the office together, and once again there’s a tension filled silence that envelops them.

“I mean what I said before,” Luhan says, speaking up first this time. He leans back in his seat, closing his eyes as he draws in a long deep breath.  “About forgiving you. I forgive you Minseok.” His teeth clamp down automatically as he struggles with his next words.

“I have for a while even though I pretended like I hadn't. You hurt me and lied to me, but I understand that you had your reasons and convictions and I forgive you for them.” His lips twitch a bit as he parts them into a small smile, glancing over to the male beside him.  “I thought I’d address that first since you looked like you expected me to take it back.”

Minseok doesn’t relax at Luhan’s proclamation, but he does lose the guarded look. “I thought it was just your grief speaking,” Minseok states.

“It was,” Luhan clarifies. “It doesn’t make it untrue, it just made it easier to admit to myself and aloud.”

Luhan doesn’t want to talk about the other things yet. It will inevitably change the mood and he feels as if he’s finally getting somewhere with Minseok. Minseok doesn’t look as if he’s ready to jump out of the car and run off, and Luhan doesn’t feel like slamming his head against something hard and damaging out of frustration. He knows that those feelings may return once he brings up his next concerns.

“You can’t get me out of the city, right,” Minseok guesses suddenly, causing Luhan’s small smile to slip.

Luhan focuses on the man beside him, eyes narrowed and the corners of his lips pulled down into a frown. “What,” he asks. “No, of course I can. I promised you and I won’t go back on that promise. It’s just that now, there are a few flaws with my plan.” He drops his gaze to the steering wheel, fingers gripping the hard leather as he’s reminded of just how difficult it will now be to get Minseok out of the city.

“What kind of flaws,” Minseok asks him. There’s a gentle touch to Luhan’s arm and the effect it has on him is almost scary as the pressure he feels in his limbs ease just the slightest.

“The is one thing,” Luhan states, “I planned to have Yixing and Junmyeon you out as a last resort, and now anyone leaving the city while we’re in mourning will be suspicious regardless of their status. Even with all my money, no one will want to risk it.”

 “I'll stay in the city then,” Minseok says, “till the mourning is over.” It sounds like a simple solution, but Luhan knows that things won’t be that easy.

“You can’t,” he says, darting a glance outside into the empty streets as if worried someone was out there attempting to catch them conspiring together. “I should have had you out of the city yesterday,” he says stretching the last word in emphasis.

“I’ll be fine,” Minseok declares, his voice is soothing and almost reassuring, but Luhan notices the way he stumbles over the last word, how it comes out more uncertain than it should.

“You won’t,” Luhan states. “You don’t understand. You have no idea what my side is planning, and I can almost guarantee you that the people that matter are in a meeting two streets over, attempting to figure out how quickly they can kill all Imperfects.”

Minseok doesn’t say a word after that. He sits back in his seat, eyes trained on the car’s glove compartment, bottom lip stuck between his teeth as he thinks.

“I have to...” Luhan trails off. “We have to figure out something.” He pauses then, his eyes widen as the solution comes to him with ease. “Move back in with me. You’ll be safe there until I can get you out.”

“No,” Minseok replies as he looks over to Luhan in disbelief.

“You’re safe at Nessen for the time being, and you’ll be safe if you move back in with me. We’re still together… in the media’s eyes, and we can use that to our advantage. Having you known as my lover may grant you more safety than otherwise since most people are aware that I’m not much of a fan of Imperfects. But, I’m worried that it can also work against you. They may treat you as a rebel if you’re caught just because you were involved with me. Staying with me removes that threat.”

Although it had been a spontaneous request, he felt that it was the smartest decision. Whatever new Imperfect regulations were implemented, they wouldn’t affect him and by extension, it wouldn’t affect anyone living in his home.

“I don’t want to live with you again, Luhan,” Minseok says each word with careful precision as if he’d been practicing that line for weeks. Minseok isn’t looking at him though, and Luhan turns away as well. His lips quirk in a deprecating manner at the hurt he suddenly feels.

“Okay,” he says, and although he tries, he’s aware it sounds bitter. “You don’t have to live with me, maybe you can stay with Jongin. District Eight will be dangerous for you.”

“That came out wrong,” Minseok sighs. “It’s not because of you. I mean, I didn’t hate living with you, Luhan. It’s just, it’s too much for me. You’re doing too much for me, and it’s so–“ he cuts himself off.

“It’s ‘so’ what, Minseok,” Luhan questions. “What am I doing that’s too much for you? You’re someone I care about, someone I never stopped caring about even when I swore I hated you and would never forgive you. How is it too much? I’m not asking you to marry me or anything, I’m just saying that you should move back in for a few weeks at most. You’re so close to having your freedom. Don’t risk things because you’re a little uncomfortable around me.”

It’s not about discomfort,” Minseok says voice low, He’s brushing the hair near his nape, combing fingers through the short strands in a way that Luhan remembers reflects his insecurities. Luhan doesn’t know how to tell Minseok it’s okay to show that side of him again, and he’s sure that a touch of comfort would be doing the opposite.

“You,” Minseok starts, his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallows. “You’re so overwhelming. Everything you do, it’s overwhelming me with so much hope,” he nearly exclaims.  Luhan touches him then, hand placed over Minseok’s urging him to continue.

“I haven't hated you or disliked you since we've been apart. Aside from the regret, my feelings haven't changed in any significant way. Before, two days ago even, it was easy to keep the hope at bay because I told myself you were only doing this because you detested me so desperately, and wanted me out of your sight. Your words made it easier for me to think like that. But now… I know I shouldn’t hope for much. I lied to you and led you on, and I know that your best friend just died and you still want me out of the city, but I can’t help it. When you’re sitting beside me pleading for me to stay with you again, and telling me you forgive me, I have hope for us.” Minseok says all of this with his eyes on their joined hands and flushed a pink so bright that it almost causes Luhan to smile.

“You’ve never talked to me like this before,” Luhan states, hand gently squeezing Minseok’s in comfort. “You’ve never really told me your innermost thoughts, your worries, your fears, and desires.”

“I was afraid,” Minseok states, “and sometimes didn’t feel like I could because I was lying to you.”

“I like it,” Luhan tells him. He lets go of Minseok’s hand to cup Minseok’s face with his palms, thumbs caressing his cheeks.

Minseok tries to avoid his gaze at first, the insecurity still affecting his actions, but when he finally looks into Luhan’s eyes, the former model finds himself smiling.

“I will have you out of the city,” he acknowledges, “but it’s not wrong for you to hope and desire in the meantime. I won’t have you stay behind for me again, but I will tell you that those unchanging feelings you have are the same ones that allowed me to forgive you.”

Minseok smiles then, his lips pulling back into a toothy grin as he finally relaxes. Luhan decides that he doesn’t really care about crossing lines at that moment. He’d spent most of their relationship waiting on Minseok to make the decisions, but he’d never been a patient person before and that impatience was finally returning to him. He doesn’t kiss Minseok on the lips, however, despite what they’ve said he still feels it’s too soon, but he does brush a kiss against Minseok’s forehead.

“When did you change,” Minseok mutters.

“When I found someone I wanted to protect and stopped lying to myself about it,” Luhan replies. “The second part is a recent development so I'll probably screw up in the next hour.”

Minseok laughs then, it’s short and low, but it lights up his entire face, and Luhan watches him captivated. Minseok hadn’t laughed since Luhan had confronted him about his secret, he hadn’t even truly smiled since that day. It’s only in this moment that Luhan realizes just how much he missed that laugh. His laugh, his smile, it was all so pure, so unmarked by the hardships and resentment he’d faced in life. Luhan finds himself chuckling softly, his anxiety gone for the moment as euphoria races through his veins. Minseok’s laughter, his momentary joy is contagious. It warms Luhan’s body from the tips of his fingers, that are still pressed against Minseok’s face, down to the tips of his toes. It makes him never want to leave his car.

⇒ In the previous chapters Luhan seemed to be in denial about being in love with Minseok, and in the last chapter, he says something like he and Kris have fallen in love with Imperfects,but in my mind I wanted it to seem like a subconscious statement that he didn't really realize he said because so much was going through his mind. Therefore, the last paragraph is supposed to kind of be the moment when he realizes that he's actually madly in love with Minseok. He knew he had deep feelings for Minseok, but he didn't realize it was love until that moment.