Kyungsoo came back home, he ran to his mother and cried and cried and cried. He doesn’t want to lie to Jongin, he wanted to say how much he loved him, how much he missed him. Kyungsoo did not want to destroy an already devastated Kim Jongin. No amount of tears can even match the guilt and the pain that Kyungsoo’s heart felt. He wanted to kiss and hug Jongin, he wants to smell Jongin, hear his voice, he wants every piece of Jongin but he can’t, he cannot be near Jongin, he can’t love Jongin, he must honor his agreement with Jongin’s mother. Kyungsoo just cried and cried and his mother knows no way to comfort her son.

The morning light breached in Jongin’s bedroom, and woke up like nothing happened last night, he went downstairs and proceeded to eat with his mother and noonas.

“Jongin what’s with acting severely weird last night!” One of his noonas asked.

“It’s nothing, just don’t mind my foolish behaviour yesterday!”

“I heard you crying Jongin when I went upstairs!” His mom said.

“Let’s bury the past where it belongs........ to the ground!” He said with a smile. “I have to go! Sehun’s waiting for me in the Studio!” He lit a cigarette and then went out.

“Hey Jongin, I thought you’ll be away for a week? It’s only been three days!” Sehun asked.

“Never mind that, anyways, I did not find what I was looking for and I don’t want to look for it now,” Jongin replied. “Ah, Sehun can we go a bar tonight, just want to have some fun!”

“Okay, but are really going there? It’s been ages since we set foot in that kind of place!”

“Yes! I said it a while ago that I want to have some fun, lets party hard and everything changes you know my friend!” Jongin said.

“Okay, okay! If that’s what you want,” Sehun agreed.

The phone rang, “Hello, this Do Kyungsoo! Who’s this please?”

“Hello, Kyungsoo, this is one of Jongin’s noonas, can I speak with you?”

“I hate to be rude, but we are already having a conversation and where did you get my number?”

“Uhm, sorry, I got this from Mr. Zhang, the investigator that my brother hired and what I meant was in person, can you travel to Seoul?”

“I am afraid I cannot do what you’ve asked ma’am, I have commitments here! I am really sorry!”

“Please, I beg of you, it’s about Jongin!” A tone of worry and anxiety brought shivers in Kyungsoo's spine.

“What about Jongin?”

“He has changes since he got home from a trip, and I bet he was with you? I know where you are Mr. Do and I know that my brother still loves you and I know the reason why you walked away from his life,”

“That’s precisely why I can’t go there ma’am, I am bound to my words to you mother!” Kyungsoo elaborated.

“Please, Kyungsoo, I implore you as a sister, my brother desperately needs you!”

“Okay then, I will be there tomorrow morning!”

“Thank you Mr. Do, I will meet you at the café near our house okay?”

“Got it!”

“I’m sorry to have kept you waiting, Ms. Kim!” Kyungsoo said.

“No problem Mr. Do, it’s me who should apologize for letting you travel over here in such short notice!”

“So, what about Jongin?” Kyungsoo asked.

“As you can see, after he arrived ….… well, I supposed the two of you met before that?”

“Yes, he went to my place, and we kinda had an argument,”

“So that’s it,” Jongin’s noona said with a really sad tone!

“Why? Is there something wrong with Jongin?” Kyungsoo felt the urgency and anxiety in Jongin’s noonas voice.

“Yes, he’s broken Kyungsoo, he is devastated, shattered into shards. He’s been into a lot of vices lately and frequently went into fights, I don’t know what to do, we do not know. That is why I called you, I know that he loves you in Jovian proportions, he will listen to you, please prevent Jongin from destroying himself!”

“I can’t” Kyungsoo’s tears flooded.

“Jongin, is that Kyungsoo?” Sehun asked. "That man!" Sehun pointed to a male figure walking in the sidewalks.

“He’s dead Sehun!” Jongin continued to drive.

“He is Kyungsoo,” Sehun declared. “Hey Kyungsoo!” he shouted.

Kyungsoo heard someone calling his name, but his not sure where it was emanating, he’s now walking to his apartment from the coffee shop where he met Jongin’s noona.

“Kyungsoo, it’s me Sehun!” Sehun continued to shout! “Jongin stop the car, please!”

He found the man who was shouting his name and surprisingly it was Sehun, and apparently he was with a person, and it was Jongin. He saw Jongin, but this time, it was not the Jongin that he knew, it was another Jongin, perhaps a new Jongin.

“Hello Kyungsoo, I never realized that you’re still alive, I must take my exit now! Sehun lets go!” Jongin greeted him sarcastically and attempted to start the car.

“What’s with you Jongin? I thought you two were …”

“We are friends, Sehun,” Jongin continued Sehun’s statement. “Kyungsoo, we are friends? Are we?”

Kyungsoo froze after hearing Jongin’s comments and statements. He had questions, how did he become like this, he was not Jongin, or he was Jongin but without any love. The Jongin in front of Kyungsoo was a Jongin of pure anger.

“Jongin,” Kyungsoo stuttered.

“Why? Missed ing me,”

“Jongin, why did you become like this?” Kyungsoo stammered.

“Are you really asking that to me? You turned me into this! Now, are you happy? And about us ing, it can be arranged, you can come with me now and have the time of our lives,” 

“Why you?” Kyungsoo slapped Jongin with a very strong blow.

“Am I insulting you? I am sorry, but I can’t feel pain HYUNG, apparently I don’t feel anything. So if you don’t want to have fun with me, go away! I don’t need you!” Jongin shouted signalling a rather shocked Sehun to go.

Jongin was about to walk away when Kyungsoo started singing,

There’s nothing I could say to you
Nothing I could ever do to make you see
What you mean to me
All the pain, the tears I cried
Still you never said goodbye and now I know how far you’d go
I know I let you down but it's not like that now
This time I’ll never let you go

I will be all that you want and get myself together
Cause you keep me from falling apart
All my life I’ll be with you forever
To get you through the day and make everything OK

“Shut up! Shut up!” Jongin held Kyungsoo in the neck and pushed him in the wall. “Stop it, you’ve cause me too much pain, I will not fall in your trap again,” Jongin loosen his grip and proceeded to his car and drove away.

Kyungsoo on the other hand was crying, he was blaming himself for what happened to Jongin. It was his fault, everything was his fault.

Jongin and Sehun did not went home as they planned, they went to another bar in broad daylight. Sehun did not drink though, he just came with Jongin to ensure Jongin will not do something stupid. Jongin meanwhile drank as hard as he can, from morning till evening, he was just in the bar partying hard yet he was all crying.

When the clock ticked 9 in the evening, Sehun decided that it’s time to go, so he fetch a rather drunk Jongin lying in the floor.

“Jongin! Jongin! Jongin! We are going home now!” Sehun woke up Jongin.

“Nope, it’s still early” Jongin refused.

“Jongin, we need to go,” Sehun said with a harsh tone.

“NO! I will not go, if you want you can go!” Jongin declined.

An idea sparked in Sehun’s mind, “Kyungsoo will be mad at you!” Sehun baby talked, he knows that even though he was tough on Kyungsoo this morning, Jongin loves the man and he’s drunk by the way and besides drunk people might be the most truthful of all. “He will be angry when he finds you like this, you don’t what your hyung to be mad, don’t you?”

“Uhm, hyung will be mad? Uhhmmm............... Okay! I will go home,” Jongin said in a happy drunk mood. “Is Kyungsoo at home now? I miss him so much,”

“Yes, he is at your house, so let’s go now,”

“What happened to him Sehun?” Jongin’s mom asked.

“He’s drunk Tita, he kept on drinking and there was no way I could stop him!” Sehun explained.

“Okay, I see, Thank you then!”

“Sehun, I thought Kyungsoo is here! You told me!” A drunk Jongin shouted at a walking Sehun.

Jongin’s mom was shocked, why is he finding Kyungsoo. After all these years, he was still in love to that man.

“I knew it, he’s not here! Bring me to him!” Jongin shouted and acted ferociously. “Where is he, where is my hyung!” Jongin continued to shout.

“He’s still working dear, I will call him but for now you should go inside,” Jongin’s mom softly talked.

“Okay, call him for me!” Jongin said calmly again.

When Jongin was inside their house, he sat on the sofa, he was just waiting and waiting and waiting.

“Where is Kyungsoo now?”

“Jongin, he’s coming, but he said he still has to finish his work so it’s better for you to sleep,” his eldest noona said in a pampering voice.

“YOU ARE ALL LIARS!!!!! He’s not coming I know it, he left me, he’s not coming back, I want him, I need him,” Jongin shouted and shouted then broke down in tears. “Tell him I love him, Noona, please tell him I need him with me,”

“I will Jongin, but for now, let’s go to your room and sleep, I will call him tomorrow morning when you wake up,” Jongin’s noona cried as she was uttering those words to his younger brother.

“Promise,” Jongin said.

“I promise!” His noona replied, then they went upstairs to Jongin’s room.

After making sure that Jongin is asleep, his two older siblings confronted their mother.

“Mom, look what have you done to him?” The eldest said. “He is broken Mom, he loves Kyungsoo so much!”

“Are you willing to see him in such horrid and painful situation every day?” the second eldest uttered.

“Mom, please stop this nonsense!” the eldest daughter cried. “You might lose Jongin forever if you keep this up in this pace!”

Jongin’s mom realized the horror of what she has done, he left his only son in pieces, she thought that she was protecting him but it turned out she was slowly breaking Jongin’s soul piece by piece.

Song: I Will Be by Avril Lavigne