Chapter 10

My Lovely Sister

A clear rejection is always better than a false promise. In a person's lifetime, there's bound to be a couple of -- a hundred of -- more than countless of rejection if only there was a life manual to deal with the misery. Maybe an emotional off switch. 

 

The feeling was a direct kick across the face. And yeah, people say "When one day closes, another one opens." I'm a complete non-believer of that line. I spent so long staring and waiting for this one particular door to open. In that span of time, I have wasted what if another door was simply open, waiting for me to take a peek and walk through. People fear the thought of rejection but dream of the thought of perfection. I knew the pain that was waiting for me at the end of this road but I stuck by it because I craved her attention. I waited for her at the path that screamed dead end, I waited for the chance that ceases to exist all because -- because I was madly in love with her.

 

I loved someone whose rejection I couldn't even hear aloud because even though her lips remained reticent. I could see those syllables I dread, "I love you Taeyeon, but not the way you want me to."

 

I would be lying to myself if the feeling of regret hadn't washed over me as I played the scene countless of times through my mind as I watched Tiffany turned her back on me. She wasn't particularly leaving forever but she might as well be. It wasn't as though it had been done on purpose but that didn't stop the same sick uninvited feeling from barging into my heart stabbing me millions of time; not enough to kill of course, but just enough for me to wince in pain. If only the regret didn't come knocking down her walls, if only she wasn't so unachievable, hell if only the thought of the two of us was even remotely possible, then maybe just maybe she wouldn't be this heartbroken. Although who am I kidding, this was a rigged game from the start and she was never meant to be the victor. 

 

The swing creaked as I shifted my weight against it, the park remains empty for most of the day with the exception of pedestrians cutting through the area. With a sigh, I kicked a lone rock with abandon. The heavy feeling continued to weigh on my chest. I wanted I could feel myself fighting back unwanted tears. I wanted to lash out, I wanted to be comforted, I wanted more than anything to find an escape -- anything.

 

"Kim Taeyeon." A cold can attacked my blushing cheeks startling me from my self-deprecation. I flinched and glanced up to see who it had been but I already heard it in her voice. Jessica stood there in blue ripped jeans and a black light sweater. Her cheeks pink and her breath slightly harsh. Odd. A moment of silence caught between us as she inhaled and ran her fingers through her slightly messy hair. Also, very odd. From the time that I knew her, cared a lot and I mean cared a whole tit load about her hair.

 

"What are you doing here?" I managed without a crack in my voice. Jessica kicked the rock laying by her foot towards me, the same one, and landed by my shoes. Did she seem -- what's the word? Lost of words? Jessica Jung? Never.

 

"I was taking a walk," She began slowly, I could see the gears in her brain turning rapidly to piece together the sentence. "The house was feeling extremely stuffy and vacant and I saw you along the way. You were swinging here by your usual lonesome so I thought I would give you some company."

 

I let her reason sit with me for a bit. What happened to your so-called date? The question rested anxiously at the tip of my tongue, but I didn't to add eavesdropping to Jessica's not so high reputation towards me. "Soda? I thought you don't believe in carbonated drinks." I motioned towards the can in her grasp. She frowned as if she wasn't aware of what I was talking about then mouthed an  "o".

 

"Yeah, I uh... thought I give it a chance." She shrugged, handing it towards me. "But I have second guesses now, so here you go."  I hesitantly took the can as Jessica took the vacant swing next to me. She kicked the ground for some force to move the swing and rode silently next to me.

 

It was weird, ever since I meet Jessica. I dreaded hearing her voice. It was always was a few exception bossy, demanding and full of conceit. But now more than, I wished she would talk, about anything, something random to keep my mind off of Tiffany.

 

"So you want to tell me why you're sitting like a loner in the park?" Jessica queried. She glanced over at me with a vacant stare, I always hate the fact Jessica was so hard to read. I was never an extrovert type of person but I was always confident at how observant I was. 

 

"Not really."

 

"Come on. You know you can tell your unnie anything." She stressed loudly on unnie.

 

I rolled over the thought of opening up my feelings to the girl I call the she-devil,  but anything had to be better than sitting in the cold with her emotions all riled up, waiting to explode. "I think I got rejected..." Jessica tilted her hand slightly, her expression gave nothing away. "By you know..." Silence.

 

"It's only one rejection, Taeyeon." Jessica murmured. "There are millions of opportunities, in your case girls who will be more than interested in you. Korea isn't exactly the best place to look for those girls."

 

I sighed, she was right. As irritating as it had been. "I just thought if I was dedicated enough -- Tiffany was supposed to be the one." I didn't know why I was exposing myself. I didn't know why I wanted to keep talking. I just knew I didn't want to keep it in anymore. "She was supposed to be the girl of my dreams. She was the one I realize I want to spend the rest of my life with, the one who made me restless of my future to come. She was supposed to be the one. But she rejected me."

 

"Rejection doesn't mean you aren't good enough, it just means that person wasn't the one." Jessica calmly replied, her voice was oddly soothing. "Taeyeon you have to realize people are going to come and some are going to leave but when it's the right girl, you'll realize why closing this chapter of your crush is necessary."

 

"I want that day to come already." I groaned, rolling the can of soda between my palms. Jessica grinned. "What's so funny?"

 

"It'll come." Jessica sighed. "Why are you rushing for Taeyeon? We have ou whole life ahead of us, why skip the most exciting parts of our life and head straight for the moments where you are all settled down."

 

"That's you, Jessica." I rolled my eyes, "I just want to settle down, I want to know in ten years, who I wanna be, where I'm going to be, I want to spend every waking minute with the girl of my dream because we're wasting time and I want to use up every minute, every second, making her happy. I want to make up for all the kisses we missed, the fleeting moments in between. I just want to be there already." I stared at Jessica, my heart hurts, "Do you know what I mean?"

 

She stared at me silently. Within a second later I could feel myself blushing. My mind rushed with embarrassment, I literally blabbed my insecurity to the most judgmental person in my life. Jessica gave a light hum and I braced myself for the harshest laughs, for the ridicule of my life.

 

"I know what you mean." She hummed for a bit, looking longingly at the now setting sun. I suppressed a surprised gasp. She stared at me with a smile, "Sometimes I think to myself, I'm tired of searching the crowd, kissing frogs, playing a game to find prince charming--"

 

"You don't seem like the type to play the damsel in distress." I laughed, "But okay."

 

She threw a slight punch against my shoulder and I laughed harder. "Shut up. I'm totally a princess."

 

"That, nobody can deny." I pointed my finger directed at her. "You definitely have the princess syndrome."

 

"Don't think about Tiffany okay." I flinched at the name. "She's just one girl. You never get the first crush anyway. One day I'll take you to America and you can find all the y, drool worthy girls." I grimaced at the description but was somewhat grateful for this conversation.

 

"Thanks, I'll keep that in mind." I rolled my eyes, unconsciously rubbing my goosebumps. Jessica stood up from her swing and walked over to me. She took off her sweater and placed it on my shoulder. I quirked an eyebrow and stared at her questioningly. She just shrugged. A smile played on my lips. "Some much for being a princess, more like prince charming." 

 

"I'm charming whether I'm a boy or girl." Jessica gloated. I rolled my eyes and she smiled. "So you're first rejection."

 

"Never bring this up again." I groaned.

 

"Ever been confessed to?" Jessica smirked. Before I could open my mouth Jessica continued, "You know one day, you'll have a girlfriend. And she'll say: "I have a confession to make..." 

 

"What are you talking about?"

 

Jessica simply ignored me and continued. "There is this girl that I'm in love with. She has beautiful doe eyes and an even prettier smile. Who magically has the power to make my mouth curve into a smile and lift my mood. Who embrace my flaws and loves me for who I am. So in a quote of all the cheesy romantic movies I quote, I love you so much Kim Taeyeon, you mean the world to me. No one in this world makes me happier or sadder than you. Thank you for being mine."

 

For a minute, I forgot how to breathe. Her stare was so intense and dare I say sincere. In a split second, I forgot who I was or where we were. For a second I swear I heard my heart thump.

 

"How was that?" Jessica broke into a smile. I snapped out and gave her a nervous laugh. "I swear, Taeyeon if I were into girls, I'd have ten times as many knocking down my door."

 

"In your dreams." I managed to say. 

 

Her phone beeped and she read through the message. "Oh.. mom and dad are coming home this Monday." She passed me her phone for me to read as she walked ahead. "Should we throw them a surprise welcome home?"

 

"Should we?" I hummed. I finished a quick text back to dad on her phone and pressed back into her list of messages. I frowned as Tiffany was the second to last person she messaged. Tiffany's message read, "I was just with Taeyeon at the park. She seems a bit off..." The rest of the message was hidden. I finger hovered nervously, debating whether I should press it. 

 

"Taeyeon! Are you coming!"

 

"Yeah."

 

Fo the second time today, I felt my heart skip a beat.

 

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Hello guys I' back. Well indefinately. It's been a while since I wrote and I read some many comments telling me to update again so I figured whynot. I'm a bit rusty so tell me how you enjoyed or didn't enjoy. I'm not entirely sure when is the next time I will update, I didn't really write a huge chapter since many of you aren't reading anymore. So comment down below and tell me if I should or maybe I should make a poll to see how many readers are still reading?

 

 

 

 

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Soumyapunz5 #1
Chapter 11: What is this it ? No updates.
Soneisa #2
Chapter 11: I hope you can still finish this
SammyHwang09
#3
Chapter 11: “chapter 11 soon” it’s been 4 years hehe
Randomreader4444 #4
Chapter 11: soonish turned into 5 years lol. I hope everything is well with you and im still holding on to hope that you upload chapter 11
thegoldensone
#5
Chapter 11: still no new update? 👀
doongie #6
Chapter 11: This is such a good story........ Comeback please authornim
ebatwise #7
Chapter 4: Hindi kana ba talaga babalik 😭
harukasempai
#8
Chapter 11: Well well well a sneak peek of an update
Thanks
..... Uh.... Yeh ....you have some of us pretty hooked on this FF
your FF is the only reason I keep on coming back
Long live the taengsic <3
ebatwise #9
Chapter 11: One of the best taengsic stories and I'm hoping to update this again this have a such amazing plot i really like it TT TT please authornim wherever you are pls update this TT TT
doongie #10
Chapter 11: Its 2021 but i'm still waiting for this story to be finish