Uncle Sunho was wrong about Teen Top and me never meeting again. A few days later, he threw a little congratulatory party to celebrate the first week of Teen Top’s debut. He was throwing it in his own apartment, a penthouse in one of the most beautiful districts of Seoul. I suspected it would just be a night of adults drinking wine and champagne and laughing whole-heartedly at jokes that weren’t even funny, but I agreed to go anyway. Teen Top, the stars of the show, would be there, and we could entertain ourselves better without wine than the adults could with it.

                After about half an hour of strangers telling me what great men my uncle and father, how delightful I supposedly was, and whether or not I wanted a sip of champagne, I was eager to slip away from the adults. The second I stepped out of the kitchen and into the living room space, five smiling faces greeted me.

                “Noona! Changjo cried, a smile blossoming in his round face. “It’s about time you came over here!”

                “Tell me about it,” I smiled at him. Surveying the room, I noticed someone’s absence immediately. “Where’s L.Joe?”

                Chunji and C.A.P exchanged curious glances. “I think he’s on the porch,” said Chunji.

                “Why isn’t he in here?” I questioned to no one in particular.

                Chunji shrugged. “Why don’t you find out?”

                I took a deep breath and confidently strolled to the balcony door. I gripped the handle and slid it open as quietly as I could, letting the joyous sounds from inside the celebratory party inside flood out into the night. Byunghun’s blonde head slowly turned around and turned back.

                I hooked a strand of hair around my ear, swallowing hard. “Is this seat taken?” I joked, pointing to the dark green lawn chair beside the one Byunghun was curled up in.

                Byunghun looked up at me. Smiled. “Actually, the president was sitting there a minute ago, but I’m sure he won’t mind if you sit here in the meantime.”

                “Ha-ha,” I rolled my eyes playfully, then let out a real laugh. I plopped down on the plastic chair and pulled my knees up to my chest. “Wow, this view is gorgeous.” I marveled. Seoul at night was one of the most gorgeous sights you could ever see. The sky was almost completely dark overhead, with the exception of the orange glow of the sunset in the distance. The sky was spotted lightly with dull stars, unable to shine to their pull potential until the sea of black overcomes the orange. The streets below were still busy, the cars nothing but moving lights on a black track. The buildings were all light up; even though night had fallen, the city was always alive. New York had been crowed the City That Never Sleeps, but I’d always thought Seoul was the rightful owner of that title.

                “Yeah, it’s something.” Byunghun agreed. In the dim light, I saw his eyes reflected the city lights.

                “I used to think Los Angeles was the prettiest city in the world,” I said softly. “But now I think Seoul is.”

                Byunghun nodded. “Definitely,” he said in reply.

                I turned my attention to him and spoke in English. “Why aren’t you inside enjoying the party?”

                Byunghun shrugged. “Today’s just been so busy. I need a little time to unwind.” he replied in English.

                “Am I interrupting?” I questioned, not wanting to be any sort of annoyance to him to matter how badly I wanted to talk to him.

                “Nah,” he chuckled. He stretched out his legs.  “I’m actually kind of glad someone came out here.”

                Smiling, I cast my eyes downward at the chipping orange nail-polish on my toes. Why did my heartbeat quicken at the sound of his deep voice? It simply glided through the air smoothly. If his voice were an object, it would be a thick sheet of sleek velvet. Velvet you’d love to clutch in your grasp and wrap around your shoulders, enveloping yourself in its smoothness and luxury. Even the hint of tiredness in his voice sounded y. “It must be fun to be with your friends all day and all night.” I spoke up.

                “Oh, the other members?” Byunghun asked. “Yeah, it actually is a lot of fun. These guys have become my closest friends and, like, I haven’t even known them for that long.”

                “That’s good,” I smiled. “You’ll probably be friends for a long time.”

                “I hope so.” He gazed out at the picturesque scene behind the balcony railing. “We get along really well.”

                “Have you met any other idols yet?” I asked.

                He nodded. “Yeah, a few of them. Some of them came to greet us today before we performed. They wished us good luck. It was really nice of them to do that to some little rookies.”

                “Who do you want to meet?” I asked, resting my head on my palm and propping up my elbow on the armrest.

                A smirk twisted on Byunghun’s M-shaped lips. “Maybe.”

                “Big Bang?” I suggested.

                Byunghun let out a loud, wistful sigh. “Oh my God, yes.”

                I laughed. “I’ve never met them either. I’ve met 2PM, SHINee and the Wonder Girls though.”

                “Really?” Byunghun asked, a twinge of curiosity in his voice.

                I nodded. “2PM twice, actually.”

                “Have you met 4minute?” he blurted.

                “4minute?” I giggled.

                “Yeah,” he muttered, blushing slightly.

                “No I have not.”

                “Ah, too bad,” he said softly.

                A smile spread across my face. “Why?”

                “No reason.”

                “Oh come on,” I laughed.

                “No reason!” He defended.

                “What? You like someone in 4minute?” I stated.

                “I never said that!” Byunghun held his finger up and wagged it slightly, but I wasn’t buying it.

                “Lemme guess who it is!” I cried.

                “No!” Byunghun laughed. “There’s no one…”

                “Yes there is,” I laughed. “You’re blushing like crazy!”

                Byunghun’s hands flew to his face, which was probably hot. A smile broke out on his face and he dropped his hands. “Oh, Alright, alright.”

                 “Jiyoon?” I cried. Byunghun shook his head. “Jihyun?”

                “You’re close,” he blushed.

                 “HyunA?”

                “Bingo!” Byunghun threw his head back to the darkening sky. “She’s my noona, but she’s so hot,” he breathed dreamily. I laughed out loud and rolled my eyes, trying to figure out why I felt a pang of jealousy.

                “Noona neomu yippeo,” I did my best Jonghyun impression, singing the famous song with a little too much emotion. In an instant, his hearty, dorky laughter filled the air, mesmerizing me. Out of breath, he panted, “Alright, alright, your turn!”

                “What?” I giggled.

                “You must like someone,” he smirked. “Can I guess who it is?”

                I shrugged. “Go for it.”

                Byunghun thought a moment, playfully his chin, as if he was deep in thought. “Jaejoong?”

                I shook my head, giggling.

                “Oh come on!” he exclaimed. “Everyone likes Jaejoong!”

                “It’s not him, guess again!” I cried, giggling.

                Byunghun grunted and thought again. “Rain?”

                I shook my head and Byunghun groaned. “He’s a rapper,” I hinted, sitting cross-legged like Byunghun.

                “ME!” he cried, his hands flying to chest.

                I burst out laughing. I had momentarily forgotten he was an idol; or rookie idol, at least. Just talking with him on the balcony made him seem like a normal guy, not an idol. It suddenly hit me that, if he wasn’t already now, he was going to be loved and adored by thousands, maybe millions of girls. Girls would dream of seeing him, touching him, kissing him, marrying him. I knew all about wild fangirl dreams; I was a dreamer myself. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been caught daydreaming in class of Taecyeon. I’d met a few idols before, but they had been at fan meetings. I’d never had a one-on-one discussion with Taecyeon. And honestly, I didn’t picture a one-on-one discussion with an idol to be this…relaxed. “Sorry, but it’s not you,” I laughed after a second.

                Byunghun slapped his hand over his heart. “Ouch, that hurt! I thought for sure it was going to be me.”

                “What makes you think that?” I teased.

                Byunghun shrugged. “Because…I don’t know. Never mind,” he dropped his gaze momentarily, as if he was deep in through. “Oh! It’s G-Dragon!”

                I shook my head back to reality. “Nope!”

                “What? I thought you loved him!” Byunghun protested.

                “I do, but I like this guy more,” I protested back. “Now guess again!”

                “Gimme a band.”

                “No, that’ll give it away.” I rolled my eyes.

                “Please?”

                “Oh, alright. 2PM.”

                “Taecyeon!” Byunghun cried.

                I tried to hide my smile, but failed miserably at it.

                “Oh, it’s Taecyeon!” Byunghun cried. He punched is first in the air. “I knew it!”

                “No you didn’t your got it wrong, like, a hundred times!” I laughed.

                “That was totally not one hundred times,” Byunghun threw his head back and laughed his mesmerizing laugh that momentarily made me question why I had denied him as my favorite.

                “Practically,” I teased.

                Byunghun smirked. “So you like Taecyeon,” he stated, an eyebrow jumping.

                I was blushing at the thought of 2PM’s beastly rapper; I couldn’t even get words out. Byunghun was watching me carefully. “Why, uh, why do you like him?” he asked, cocking his head with a curious look on his face.

                “I…ah, I don’t know. For a lot of reasons,” I confessed with a smile. “He’s gorgeous. And he can rap really well, and he’s really intelligent and he speaks English.” I shrugged, smiling to myself at the thought of Taecyeon’s handsome face and his adorably big ears.

                Byunghun looked deep in thought for a moment. “I hope someday girls think that about me,” he said innocently, staring at his feet.

                I gazed at him. “They probably already do,” I said honestly. “Teen Top’s gaining popularity.”

                “Eh, they only notice Niel and C.A.P-hyung. Niel because he sings so much and he looks like a foreigner. C.A.P-hyung because of his muscles.” Byunghun looked out at the city. “I don’t think I’m very popular yet.”

                “You will be,” I assured him. “I can’t see why you wouldn’t be.”

                Byunghun turned his head to look at me. “Why do you say that?” he asked, cocking his head to the side again.

                I shrugged, hoping I wasn’t blushing. “Because you’re really talented…and funny…” I wondered if I should just spit it out already. “And handsome.”

                I watched Byunghun’s M-shaped mouth break into a smile. “Really?” he smirked, which just further proved the truth behind my confession.

                I nodded shyly, unable to mutter any words. “Really.”

                “Thanks,” he shrugged like it was no big deal, but I saw him smile. He smiled that bright smile, his eyes the shape of rainbows.

                There was an awkward silence that sat between us. Byunghun and I shared awkward eye contact until we both blushed and looked away out at the water and the sky overhead, which was darkening. The sun was still shining in the distance, but the sky above us was further turning a deep shade of blue. I wondered what time it was and what everyone else was up top. Would they be wondering where Byunghun and I were? Should be we go back inside the apartment? What did Byunghun think? Suddenly all the questions stopped flowing in my brain. I wanted to just focus on what was happening now; sitting on the balcony with a cute blonde boy I…I…I could finally admit I had feelings for.

                “Hey,” Byunghun said suddenly. “Wanna play a game?”

                I was thankful for the break in the silence. “Sure. “What game?”

                “’Would You Rather.’ You heard of it, right?”

                “Of course! I play it with my friends all the time.” I replied happily.

                “Ah, good,” he said with a sparkling grin. “I’ll go first. Um….would you rather eat a live snail, shell and all, or step on a dead frog?”

                “Ew!” I exclaimed. “Both are disgusting!”

                Byunghun laughed. “Pick one!”

                “Alright, uh…step on a dead frog.”

                “EW!”Byunghun burst out laughing. “Why?”

                “Because I could just wash my foot and it’d be over with. If I ate the snail, it’d sit inside my stomach for hours.”

                “Ahhh,” Byunghun giggled, intrigued. “I see your logic. Alright, your turn.”

                “Okay…would you rather be stuck in a submarine underwater or an airplane in the air?”

“Ooh, submarine!” Byunghun said almost right away.

                “And why?”

                “Because if I was in the air, I’d probably hit a building or something and die instantly. I think I’m safer underwater.”

                “Ahh, I see your logic,” I repeated, which made him giggle. “Your turn!”

                “Let’s see…” He his imaginary beard. “Would you rather be a princess or a queen?”

                “Princess!” I said happily. “Because the queen has all this work to do and the princess just gets to sit around and look pretty all day.”

                Byunghun giggled. “I never thought of it that way.”

                “So now, would you rather be a king or a prince?” I asked with a coy smile.

                “Well,” he tucked his legs in and sat like a pretzel. “If you’re the princess, I’ll be the prince.”

                A huge smile broke out on my face and I blushed like a tomato. Byunghun? My prince? “Alright, Prince Byunghun,” I declared. “Why would you want to be a prince?”

                “Because,” he smirked, “every princess needs a prince.”

                I was smiling so hard I had to look away; this boy had to be the sweetest boy in the entire world. If I was a princess, surely I would need a prince. How bold and flirty of Byunghun to declare himself as my prince! Princess and Princes were destined to fall in love, were they not? Was that logic running through Byunghun’s mind as well?  

                Byunghun returned the smile, flashing a grin that was both y and sweet at the same time. He looked me right in the eyes; making eye contact that was somehow not as awkward as it was before.  I felt like Byunghun was opening up, and I felt myself opening up in return. I had never felt so at ease with anyone in the entire world; I felt like I had known Byunghun my entire life.

                “Okay, here’s another,” he pushed his chair closer to mine, an intimate gesture that surprised me. “Would you rather be a k-pop star or a k-drama actress?”

                “K-pop star.” I stated immediately.

                Byunghun smiled. “And why?”

                “Because…” I trailed off. I knew perfectly well why; because if I could be anyone in the entire world, I’d be HyunA. I couldn’t confess that, however, so I stuck with a conventional answer: “Because it looks like fun!”

                “It is,” he replied with a laugh. “Lots of work, but it’s so much fun. I wouldn’t give it up for anything.”

                “You’re lucky,” I said thoughtfully. “Lots of people dream of becoming an idol. It doesn’t happen for everyone.”

                Byunghun took his eyes off me and gazed out to the darkening shy. He squinted his eyes as he spoke. “You have no idea how badly I’ve wanted this.”

                I was intrigued. I leaned closer to him. “Tell me more,” I requested attentively.

                There was a peaceful look on Byunghun’s face. “I never thought about being an idol when I was younger. Honestly it never even crossed my mind. It wasn’t until I moved to the States that I decided this is what I wanted to do.

                “I didn’t have many friends, but I had two really good ones who used to listen to nothing but rap music all the time. They taught themselves to rap. They introduced me to it, and,” he shrugged modestly, “I gave it a try. I really loved it. I would practice rapping all the time. I wanted to be the best at it.”

                “From what I hear, you’re pretty good.” I smiled.

                He shrugged again. “I don’t know. I need more practice.”

                “You sound like a perfectionist,” I giggled.

                Byunghun scoffed, but there was a smile on his face. “I guess you could say that.” He turned to me. “What about you? You’re a straight A student, aren’t you?”

                I blushed and shrugged just like he had. “Yeah…”

                Byunghun nodded like he understood. “I was a straight A student when I went to high school. Every now and then, I kind of miss those days.”

                “School?” I questioned.

                He nodded. “I’ve never told anyone this but, sometimes I just miss being a normal kid. I miss hanging out with my friends and goofing off. I miss playing pranks on the kids in my school.” he was blushing now. “Alright, I was a bit of a troublemaker in school. But teachers hated me because as much as I goofed off, I got perfect grades.”

                I was impressed. “Most of the kids that goof off don’t do so well at my school.”

                Byunghun nodded. “Most of them don’t. Teachers got so fed up sometimes. But I only pranked kids that pranked me first.” He paused, then added thoughtfully. “I used to get teased so much.”

                “Why?” I asked, dying to hear more. I loved how he opened up to me like this. It was like he trusted me with all his secrets, thoughts and opinions.

                Byunghun shrugged. “’I’m Asian. I was straight-A student and had a funny name. Typical Asian stereotype, don’t you think?”

                False. “Byunghun” was not a funny name—at least, not to me. I thought it was rather unique, and fit him perfectly.                 Sure, it was probably weird to 13 year olds in America, but not to me. And aren’t Asians stereotyped as skinny dorks with bowl cuts that play video games and wear Harry Potter glasses? Sure, Byunghun was skinny. But his bowl cut was stylish, and swept to the right. And he was blonde. And I didn’t even know if Byunghun played video games that much.            And he didn’t even wear glasses.

                And plus, he was cute.

                “I guess,” I giggled. “Then I guess I must fit that stereotype too.”

                Byunghun looked at me, squinting his eyes like he was examining me, formulating an opinion. “Well, let’s see. You’re freakishly smart, short, and you have a funny Asian name too.” He nodded vigorously. “Yup, you do.”

                Laughing, I rolled my eyes. “Hey, thanks.”

                “You’re welcome,” he giggled back. He paused mid-laughter, cleared his throat. “You know I’m kidding. You’re a lot cooler than that.”

                I rolled my eyes. “Right.”

                “Hey, you are!” he laughed. Then his voice grew softer, and more serious. “You’re a lot prettier than the Asian girls at my old school.”

                I blushed. I never realized how easily I blushed until I met Byunghun. Every time he complimented or said something extra nice to me I felt my cheeks burn pink.

                “You’re a lot better looking than guys at my school,” I found myself saying before I even realized what was coming out of my mouth. I shocked myself; since when was I that flirty?

                A smile formed on Byunghun’s face. “Is that right?”

                All I could do was nod slightly, letting my cheeks turn red yet again.

                There was so much I wanted to say to Byunghun. And for a moment, I felt like spilling it all. I felt like telling him everything that was on my mind. Everything I was thinking about him, about me, about us. I wanted to tell him how much I loved the way he threw his head back and laughed his dorky laugh. I wanted to tell him how much his radiant smile made me smile. I wanted to tell him I loved the way he flipped his hair and smirked ily. I wanted to tell him how every single time his eyes turned the shape of rainbows, I felt my stomach do summersaults and my legs weakened. I wanted to tell him that with every single passing moment, he was becoming more and more attractive. But most of all, I was dying to tell him that even though there was a party going on inside and a beautiful city was bustling at night in front of me, but I couldn’t bring myself to pay attention to them because I just couldn’t take my eyes off of him.

                “Can I tell you something?” he asked suddenly.

                “Anything.”

                “Alright…um, well…you see…” Byunghun trailed off. Suddenly he looked away, like he was unable to allow his eyes to meet mine. He bit his lip and held his breathe, as if knew exactly what he wanted to say but didn’t know how to say it. “I…I…kinda…”

                A smile broke out on my face. “What? Tell me.” I said softly, sincerely.

                Byunghun in air like it was confidence. “Alright, listen, I don’t really know how to say this, because I’ve never really said anything like this before and I don’t know how to say it, but—oh, I probably sound so redundant right now and you’re probably wondering what’s wrong with me and what the heck I’m going to say because I won’t spit it out even though I’ve been dying to, ‘cause I just keep rambling instead, and God, here I am doing it again—”

                “Byunghun!” I laughed, placing a calming hand on his arm. “Calm down, okay? Just tell me what you want to tell me. No big deal, okay?” I offered a smile to help him and let me hand linger on his arm. It was shaking, yet I didn’t even care.

                Byunghun bit his lip and shifted his eyes to meet mine. He took another breath. “Um, actually, it…it is kind of a big deal.”

                Don’t tell me you have a girlfriend, please don’t tell me…

                “I…I think…I think I like you, Kirin. I mean actually like you. I don’t mean like a friend—I mean, I do like you as a friend, but I mean I think I like you more than that. And I…I…” He held his breath and looked at me with a nervous expression. He studied my agape mouth and my arched eyebrows. Silence passed between us. “Uh, please say something before I vomit.”

                A smile formed from the center of my lips and spread to the corners. This time, my eyes were the ones that turned the shape of rainbows.

                At that very moment, I wanted to freeze time. I wanted to throw my hands to the night sky, yell “FREEZE!” and watch the world around me solidify. Uncle Sunho, my dad, my mom and some other employees at T.O.P Media would suddenly cease to move about in the kitchen, their wine glasses fixed in their frozen hands and their jaws hung open in laughter. C.A.P, Chunji, Niel, Ricky and Changjo would be stuck to the hardwood floors, Wii remotes frozen in their hands and the rowdy game of Wii Sports stuck on the flat screen television. I wanted to make like my blood pressure and jump up from the chair, squealing, shrieking, and dancing like an idiot. I wanted a moment to freak out the way girls in movies always do. There’s a certain way girls act when they discover the boy they’ve been crushing on lately likes them back, and it’s such a magical feeling. The world could dissolve around her but all she would see is the future, the possibilities of what could happen. When her life falls perfectly into place, she cherishes the puzzle; marveling at it because it took so long to put together and she doubted she’d ever see the final result. But when the final piece was snapped into place and she could see the full picture, it’s even better than she imagined it would be.

                Unfortunately I was not born with the unnatural ability to stop the Clock of Life, so the best I could do was throw my hand over my mouth and turn my head the other way and let my eyes grow three times their normal size. I let out a sharp gasp and my heart leapt. After biting my lip and slipping a silent squeal, I turned back to meet his face, which had taken on a sickly pale color.

                I started speaking, but I had no idea how I would finish. “I…I don’t even…”

                Byunghun squeezed his eyes shut, sighing deeply/ “Can you just be honest with me and tell me how you feel about me?”

                The words were on the tip of my tongue; they just wouldn’t come out. Spit it out, Kirin, tell him! “I…I think I like you that way too…is that okay?”

                “Okay?” Byunghun repeated. He let out a long breath and his face began returning to its normal color. “Oh my       God, don’t scare me like that!” He punched my arm and I laughed.

                I laughed a good, hearty laugh. Everything had fallen so perfectly into place that I didn’t even believe this was reality. I wanted to pinch myself but I didn’t want to ruin this perfect moment. Byunghun watched me for a minute, until he slowly smiled and laughed along with me. It was like we were laughing away all the tenseness, all the pressure and nervousness of what just happened. Both of us admitted it, and now we both saw how stupid we were to be so nervous.

                “You have no idea how hard that was for me,” Byunghun said when the laughter died down.

                I hooked a strand of hair behind me ear, hoping it looked flirty. “Hey, thanks for making my job easier.”

                “Why were you even nervous? Your confession was easy!”

                I laughed again. “Why didn’t you just spit it out?”

                “I didn’t know you liked me! I thought you were just being nice and we were just friends!”

                I gave a sincere smile. “We are friends.”

                “Which brings us to the next question…I hope this is a little easier for me, but I can’t make any promises. Alright?” His voice was serious but he was smirking his famous smirk. My knees felt weak. I was thankful to be sitting down.

                “Alright,” I repeated attentively.

                “Do…do you want to be more than friends?”

                “I…I don’t know,” I shrugged, blushing. “I think I do. Do you?”

                “I think…” Byunghun began shyly, until he paused. “Alright, look. I don’t have muscles like C.A.P. I can’t dance like Changjo. I can’t sing like Niel and I don’t have a smile like Chunji’s and I’m not cute like Ricky. But I can rap, I can play two instruments and I can speak two languages, and I really, really like you. Enough to date you. I’ve never had a girlfriend before, so I really don’t have any experience, but, I think if we tried it we’d make a pretty good team. Is that okay?” He had that nervous, unsure looked again.

                I was completely speechless. Lee Byunghun, an idol, wanted me to be his girlfriend? This couldn’t be happening. This kind of thing happened to lucky, beautiful girls. Not me. I was nobody.

                “But…L.Joe, you’re an idol. Are you even allowed to have a girlfriend?”

                Byunghun shrugged. “Probably not. You know it’s always bad news when idols get girlfriends,” he laughed. Suddenly he turned his head to look at me, to look into my eyes. His lips curled into a smirk. “But my lips are sealed.”

- - - - - -

                Ahhh, this is one of my favorite chapters! Kirin's one lucky girl, isn't she?

                By the way, Happy 28th Birthday to my #1 K-pop love, Yesung!~♥