It took Hyerin about a week to fully believe I knew Teen Top. I showed her pictures we took, told her stories and even tried to call them. Byunghun hadn’t answered, as he was probably busy practicing. I told her I’d let her know when C.A.P could meet her as soon as I knew. She said she and Min Neul would be waiting impatiently, and I didn’t doubt that. But Teen Top was well into their third week of promoting “Supa Luv,” so his free-time was severely limited. That didn’t stop us from spending time together, though. Sometimes if the boys were just practicing, I would haul my books and homework to the studio and watch them practice while doing my homework. Long-term, this would probably do unkind things to my grades; Teen Top was extremely distracting when you should be doing calculus homework, and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been in the middle of finding the derivative of an equation and Byunghun laughed or flipped his head of pink hair. He caught my attention all the time and once he had it, he wouldn’t let it go. I always knew from the side glances and smirks at me that Byunghun was happy I was there for him.

                But for once, I wasn’t here for Byunghun. I was here for C.A.P.

                I had to tell C.A.P everything Hyerin had said. About how much she loved being in M-Nest Scandal with him. About how he was her bias. About how much she still liked him after so many months, and wanted to try dating him for real. She was still in love with C.A.P, and he needed to know.

                 I was standing outside the T.O.P Media building, a bag full of homework hanging stiffly at my side. I pushed open the heavy glass door and walked inside, shaking the snow off my black Uggs. The lady at the front desk knew me by name by now. She smiled and greeted me and I bowed in response. I hurried to one of the elevators and punched the “up” button. I didn’t tell anyone I would be coming, but I doubted any of them would mind. Byunghun certainly wouldn’t, and either would Jonghyun.

                When the elevator opened, I stepped out and made my way down the hallway. There was one door open, and  I heard Changjo’s voice coming from it. C.A.P had to be in there.

                “C.A.P! GUESS WHAT!” I cried, running straight through the doorframe and into the room, a wide smile pasted on my face and my heart pumping with excitement, ready to spill the news to C.A.P.

                Except C.A.P wasn’t there. No one else was, except Changjo.

                “Hey, Mom? Can I call you back?...Yeah, that’s fine. Okay. Thank you…love and miss you too. Dad too! Bye.” Changjo hung up his cell phone and turned his attention to a very red-faced me. “Kirin, uh, you’re looking for C.A.P?”

I was speechless for a moment. I just interrupted Changjo on the phone with his mother, who he barely ever got to see since he became an idol. I felt horrible. “Changjo, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt, I just thought C.A.P would be here and I have news to tell him and –”

                Changjo chuckled. He ran his fingers through his dark hair. “Kirin, don’t worry about it. I’ll call my mom later. But, uh, what do you have to tell C.A.P?”

                I swallowed hard, as if the guilt was caught in my throat. “Amazing news, Changjo, amazing news!” I cried, stepping closer to him. “I talked to Hyerin, and she feels the same way about C.A.P! She wants to meet him again!”

                 “No way!” Changjo cried, a pretty smile blossoming on his handsome face. “That’s amazing! C.A.P-hyung will be so happy!”

                 “I know! I can’t wait to tell him! Do you know where he is?” I asked.

                Changjo nodded slowly. “He’s downstairs working out,” he paused. “With, uh, L.Joe,” he added, glancing up at me with lightless eyes.

                A smile crept onto my face and try as I might, it wouldn’t wipe off. I could tell C.A.P the news and get to see my handsome boyfriend working out at the same time. How’s that for killing two birds with one stone?

                 “What floor are they on?” I asked, the smile still on my face.

                 “The next one down,” Changjo replied, a hint of sadness in his voice. He dropped his gaze to the floor. “They’ll be happy to see you. Especially L.Joe-hyung.”

                I sensed something was wrong. “Jonghyun, is everything okay?”

                 “Yes,” he replied quickly.

                That obviously meant no. “Come on, tell me what’s wrong,” I urged thoughtfully.

                “Nothing,” Changjo replied. He turned his back to go resume his seat on the couch. “You should go tell C.A.P-hyung the news. And see L.Joe-hyung, obviously.”

                I wasn’t satisfied. I walked over and sat on the couch beside my dongsaeng. “Come on, Jonghyun. What’s bothering you?”

                He was silent. Suddenly, he spoke. “Kirin-noona?”

                “Yeah, Jonghyun?” I asked.

                “You really like Byunghun-hyung, don’t you?” I detected a hint of sadness in his voice, as if he was being forced to face reality.

                Feeling uncomfortable, I uncrossed my legs and crossed them back. “Well, yeah, I do.”

                He was silent for a moment. I saw his eyes squint slightly and he dropped his gaze. “Do you love him, noona?”

Yes. I love him. I love Byunghun with all my heart. I would freely and confidently admit that to anyone who asked; except Jonghyun. I couldn’t do that to him. I knew Changjo liked me; he liked me from the moment he saw me. I couldn’t just tell the kid straight to his face that I loved his hyung. “Jonghyun, why do you ask?”

                “Because,” Changjo said. His expression was cold and desperate. “Just answer the question. Do you love him, Kirin?”

                It was my turn to drop my gaze. “I do, Jonghyun,” I said quietly, looking away.

                “I thought so.” Jonghyun tucked his knees up under his chin. “You two are really close.”

                “Yeah,” I agreed softly. I knew I was hurting Jonghyun. I knew he was always hurting. Every time I came to see Byunghun, he was always with Teen Top. Jonghyun saw the smile on Byunghun’s face as he ran up hug me, crying “Hey there, beautiful!” as he gathered me in his arms and kissed my forehead. He saw Byunghun kiss me softly in the lips goodbye before we parted. He saw Byunghun stay up late to text me sweet messages, occasionally smiling and chuckling to himself. Jonghyun would never be in Byunghun’s position so matter how much he hoped and wished.

                “He really loves you,” Jonghyun said quietly. “He talks about you an awful lot.”

                “Does he?” I asked, trying to remain friendly.

                “Yeah. A lot,” Jonghyun practically whispered. “I can see why he likes you so much.”

                “Jonghyun,” I said, sympathetically leaning closer to him.

                He looked up at me, right into my eyes. “Really, noona, I can see why. Sometimes I think Byunghun-hyung’s the luckiest guy in the world.”

                “Jonghyun, stop talking nonsense,” I said, feeling even more uncomfortable.

                “I’m not talking nonsense,” Jonghyun pleaded desperately. “You love Byunghun so much and I…I…I can’t help but be jealous of him. I’m sorry.”

                “Jonghyun, stop, okay? It’s not fair to do that to yourself, alright? You’ll find a girl someday. You’re still young, you’ve got all the time in the world! And anyway, you’re a great guy, and any girl would be lucky to have you.”

                He looked down sadly, and I thought I saw a tear escape his eye for a moment. “Just answer one question, okay?”

                “Anything.”

                “It’s because I’m younger than you, isn’t it? It’s because I’m so much younger than you and you and Byunghun are the same age.”

                I couldn’t lie to him. That was a huge part of it. But God knows I didn’t just love Byunghun because he was my age.

                “Honestly, yes that’s part of it. I think you’d be better off with someone younger than me, someone your age.       There are plenty of girls your age that would love to be with someone as sweet and handsome as you.”

                “But you’re not even two years older than me,” he whined. “Why can’t you overlook that? I’m tall, I look old enough to be eighteen, don’t I?”

                “Height isn’t everything, Jonghyun. You’re just not mature yet.”

                “Listen to my voice!” he cried. “It’s deeper than Daniel-hyung’s!”

                I had to laugh at that. “A deep voice and height don’t mean maturity, Jonghyun. Part of being mature is willing to accept that some things don’t always go your way and still being happy anyways.”

                Changjo sighed deeply. He was silent for a moment, internalizing my wise words. “Can I ask you another question?” he asked timorously. “Well, it’s not really a question. More like a favor.”

                I couldn’t deny this kid anything.

                “Yes, Jonghyun. Anything.”

                “Okay,” he said slowly, taking a deep breath. “Will you be my first kiss?”

                Changjo did not just ask me that.

                I wanted to roll my head back and let out a grunt of frustration but I held back. Couldn’t he wait a few more days until he met Min Neul? She’d gladly give him his first kiss.

                “Why?” I asked defensively.

                “Because—because I like you, noona, I really do!” he whined. “And I want my first kiss to be with you. Please?”

                 “Jonghyun,” I whined back.

                “You don’t want to kiss me?” he asked desperately, his eyes wide with sorrow as if I had just stepped all over his tiny, innocent heart with baseball cleats.

                I hated that I thought Changjo was attractive. He was almost two years younger than me…it just wasn’t right at all. I was in love with Byunghun and that wasn’t going to change for anyone—not even a cute little maknae with a button nose and big, pretty eyes who’s desperateness was really starting to get on my nerves.

                “I don’t know why you like Byunghun so much,” he said roughly, almost sadly. “I mean he’s such a nice guy and a really good hyung but I can see you and me together much more than I see you with him.”

                “Jonghyun, stop!” I cried, getting frustrated. “Byunghun’s a wonderful hyung to you and you should know better than to say stuff like that!”

                That instant, I saw tears well up in his pretty eyes, somehow ruining their beauty. My intent was not to make him cry; just shake him off a little. I quickly realized I wouldn’t make Changjo stop liking me by scolding him. I had to talk to him. “Alright, Jonghyun, fine.” I said finally.

                He tilted his head to the side. “What?”

                 “I’ll kiss you,” I stated matter-of-factly.

                His face lit up instantly. “Really? You’ll do it?”

                I let out a sigh and closed my eyes. I stuck my tongue in my cheek, something I subconsciously did when I was frustrated. “But it’s going to be a quick one, okay?”

                He nodded vigorously, his eyes wide. “I’m ready!” he exclaimed, his cheeks turning bright pink with anticipation.

                Sighing quietly one more time, I tried to put myself in a good spirit. I personally wouldn’t want Byunghun to kiss me sloppily and quickly just because he didn’t want to. Changjo was truly one of my best friends, and if this was going to make him happy and stop dishing out compliments like a broken record, then so be it. I remember my first kiss with Byunghun. I remember that flighty, warm, nervous feeling in the pit of your stomach, and you feel yourself shaking but hope you really weren’t. Thinking that Changjo felt that way right now was kind of sweet. Innocent and sweet. Byunghun had made me feel that way, and it was kind of nice knowing that this time I made someone feel that way.

                I moved my head closer to his and he awkwardly shut his eyes. I smiled, trying not to giggle out loud. I took another sharp breath, tilted my head to the right, put my hand on his shoulder and closed the gap between our lips.

It wasn’t exactly unpleasant kissing Changjo. When he kissed me back, I noticed he had soft lips that reminded me of Byunghun’s. I felt Jonghyun completely stiffen up, like he was in shock. I’d like to say I gave him a quick peck and it was over and done with, but honestly that wasn’t the case. We kissed for a good five seconds until I decided enough was enough and I had done the kid plenty good for his first kiss.

                Min Neul was going to hate me for this.

                I leaned back, ending the kiss, and watched Changjo’s dark eyes open. He smiled innocently, reaching up to touch his lips.

                I smiled and chuckled a little bit. “You’re welcome,” I said softly.

                “Thank you, noona!” Changjo unexpectedly threw his arms around me, which I didn’t really mind because I thought it was sweet. I hugged him back, but not as tight as he squeezed me.

                “Okay, okay, okay, lemme out of here, maknae!” I giggled.

                “Sorry,” Changjo chuckled in a voice that sounded nothing like a maknae’s should. He loosened his grip on me and let me go.

                I smiled. “You’re a sweet kid, Jonghyun. A really sweet guy. Don’t ever stop being as sweet as you are. Promise me that, alright?”

                “I promise,” he smiled genuinely.

                “Good.” I stood up. “Now, would you like to accompany me downstairs to tell C.A.P the wonderful news I have for him?” I placed my hand on my hip.

                Changjo linked his arm with mine, his face bright. “I would love too.”

                Changjo and I skipped out the hallway together and piled into the elevator. When we arrived on the correct floor, Changjo led me, still arm-in-arm, to the workout room. Changjo pushed the door open to reveal a white-walled room with gray tile floors and several workout machines. There was a water dispenser and a fan in the far left corner and a gray bench covered in dumbbells of various weights. Minsoo was lying on a bench press, his hands firmly gripping along metal bar with heavy-looking weights on both sides. Byunghun was leaning against the machine’s frame, his pink hair a disheveled mess. His face was slightly pink and his forehead looked shiny, which led me to believe he had previously been working out. My heart fluttered at the thought.

                Byunghun’s eyes flew to the door. “Kirin? Changjo? What are you doing here?” he cried, his eyes smiling. He jerked his head in an attempt to flip the sweaty mess of hair off his forehead, but failed.

                “Kirin came here looking for C.A.P-hyung. She has great news!” Changjo unlinked his arm from mine and turned his head to smile at me.

                C.A.P sat up quickly. “What is it?”

                 “Hyerin,” was all I said, and all I needed to say to bring a smile to C.A.P’s face. “I talked to her after school today.”

                 “What’d she say?” Byunghun asked eagerly, self-consciously touching his hair.

                 “She remembers you, C.A.P. She has a Teen Top poster in her bedroom. She’s still head over heels for you,” I reported sweetly with a gigantic smile on my face.

                Byunghun and Minsoo exchanged excited glances. I’d never seen Minsoo smile so wide before; his pearly smile was gorgeous. “Seriously?” Minsoo questioned.

                 “Seriously!” I cried, animatedly throwing my hands in the air. “She’d love to meet you again…and probably try dating you again. For real this time.”

                 “Babe, this is amazing!” Byunghun engulfed me in a tight bear-hug. His body was even hotter than it normally was. Pun intended.

                I hugged him tightly, and felt Minsoo join in the group hug. “Kirin, you’re the best!” he exclaimed.

                Next thing I knew, Changjo joined in the hug. “I’m so happy for you, hyung!”

                 “Oh, I almost forgot!” I cried after we let go of each other. “Hyerin has a sister.”

                C.A.P raised an eyebrow. “Really? I never knew that.”

                 “Yes! Her name is Min Neul. Aaaand…” I turned to face Changjo, a smile on my face. “Guess who her favorite is.”

                Changjo’s face lit up. His eyes were round and bright again. “Me?” His hands flew to his chest.

 “You!”

                 “Alright, Changjo!” Byunghun cheered, elbowing Changjo in the arm.

                 “How old is she?” Changjo asked.

                 “Fourteen,” I wiggled my eyebrows.

                 “Is she hot?”

                 “If she’s related to Hyerin, yes,” Minsoo replied bluntly.

                A smile inhabited nearly Changjo’s entire face. “Really? Could I meet her?”

                 “If you want to,” I shrugged. “I know she’d love to meet you.”

                Byunghun punched my arm. “You’re quite the matchmaker, Kirin.”

                I smiled up at him. “I wouldn’t be if you all weren’t so good looking.”

                “Is that right?” Byunghun smirked his y smirk.

                I shrugged. “I fell for you, didn’t I?”

                A low beeping sound invaded my dreams later that night. In a split second, my eyes were fluttering awake to bleak darkness. It only took a few seconds for me to blink my fuzzy vision away and adjust my eyes on the glowing red numbers from the clock on my nightstand. 3:13 AM.

                I had gained enough consciousness to realize it was my phone beside me that was making the low beeping noises that had interrupted my slumber. Slowly waking up, I leaned over the side of my bed and picked up my phone. The screen was glowing brightly and it was vibrating nonstop. It took my eyes a few seconds to adjust to the sudden brightness, and when they did I was able to see the name on the screen. Only Byunghun would call me at this hour.

I pushed the Send button and held the phone sleepily to my ear. “Yeah?” I croaked quietly.

“I woke you up,” his voice said on the other line. His voice was even deeper when he was tired.

                 “Mhm,” I yawned into the phone.

                 “I’m sorry,” Byunghun muttered.

                 “Whassup?” I slurred tiredly and quietly so only Byunghun could hear.

                 “I can’t sleep,” he said lowly, flatly.

                 “So you had to call me right now?” I teased, waking up upon hearing his worn-out, angelic voice.

                 “I just wanted to hear your voice,” Byunghun admitted softly.

                I ran my fingers through my bed-head and smiled. “I like hearing your voice too,” I nearly whispered.

                Byunghun was silent for a moment. “I feel bad I woke you up.”

                “Well what did you think I’d be doing at 3:15 in the morning?”

                I pictured Byunghun shrugging. I heard him scoffed a little. “Sleeping,” he muttered cutely.

                I sat up more, leaning on my pillow. “Is anyone else up?”

                 “No.” Byunghun replied. “Everyone’s asleep.”

                 “Don’t wake ‘em up,” I warned softly.

                 “I won’t,” he smiled. “Only you.”

                I smiled. “How long have you been up?”

                “All night,” he said flatly.

                I frowned. “You should go to sleep, Oppa.”

                 “I know,” he confessed, probably smiling because I called him Oppa. “I knew you’d say that.”

                “You’re gonna be tired tomorrow, babe,” I said softly. “I don’t want you to be tired.”

                 “I know,” he whined gently. “I just wanted to talk to you.”

                 “Well, you’re talking to me now.”

                Byunghun gigged softly. “I was so happy to see you today. I didn’t know you were coming.”

                 “Should I have warned you?” I giggled.

                 “No,” he chuckled quietly. “It was a nice surprise. You should surprise me like that more often.”

                I smiled to myself. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

                 “Good,” he said. He paused. “I should let you should go back to sleep now, should I?”

                I bit my lip. I had to wake up for school in a few more hours, and I had been up late doing homework. “Probably.”

                 “Good night, babe,” Byunghun said softly. “Sorry to wake you up.”

                Still smiling, I said quietly, “Good night, Byunghun.”

                I hung up the phone and let it slide of out of my hand. It hit the floor, the screen face-up. In the darkness, L.Joe’s picture glowed brightly. I rested my head back on my pillow and tried to keep my eyes shut. Every time they opened, L.Joe’s picture was the only thing I could see.

                When I finally fell back asleep, he was still the only thing I could see.