My Lips Aren’t Sealed

                I must have changed my position on the couch twenty different times within the past five minutes. I pulled my feet up and sat with my legs crossed. Then I uncrossed them. Then I folded them underneath me. Then I leaned to the left. Then I leaned up the right. Then I sat up straight. Then I rested my head on the arm rest. Then I sat up. Then I propped my chin up. Then I crossed my arms. Then I sunk back in the cushions. I was feeling more restless with every passing second. Where were Kyusoon, Minah, Hyerin and Min Neul? I told them to be here at eleven-fifty sharp! It was almost twelve. Sure, they hadn’t missed anything in the ten minutes of their absence, but if they knew how important this little get-together was, they wouldn’t have missed even a second.

                Suddenly the doorbell rang. I tore my eyes away from the TV and jumped up from my seat on the couch just as Kim Heechul began explaining the hardships of watching his best friend Hangeng leave Super Junior. If I hadn’t been anxiously anticipating my friends’ arrival, then I would have actually been interested in what he had to say on this week’s episode of SBS’s famed show Strong Heart. My eyes kept darting between the clock, the front door, and the petite pink-haired boy in the seat behind Heechul.

                I sprinted through into the dining room and through the archway that led to the mudroom. I flung the door open.  “Hurry!” I commanded, pulling on Kyusoon and Minah’s wrists.

                “Whoa, calm down there!” Kyusoon giggled as I dragged her into the living room. Hyerin and Min Neul hastily followed; they knew the true importance of this. They was the only ones who always knew what I was up to.

                Until today.

                “Sit!” I commanded, pointing to the couch. Kyusoon and Minah exchanged curious glances as they took seats on the couch. I sat on the floor in front of the television. I grabbed the remote and turned the volume on the television up a dozen notches. I wanted them to hear everything, finally.

                “It must have been hard watching a close friend leave you like that,” Kang Ho Dong was saying.

                Heechul sniffed. He was getting emotional. “Over the years, we had become brothers. We had a stronger connection that any of the other members, I think.”

                “Why are we watching this?” Minah asked suddenly.

                “SHHH!” I hissed. “You’ll see!”

                “I do really like Heechul,” Kyusoon giggled. “But that’s probably not why we’re watching this.”

                “It’s not. Now shush!” I commanded. I caught Hyerin giggle out of the corner of my eye.

                “People think that just because he was Chinese, we weren’t as close with him,” Lee Donghae was saying. “But that’s not the case at all.”

                “It was hard for all of us to watch him go. Heechul especially,” Shindong added.

                “He was an important member of our family. I respect his decision, but I just wish it hadn’t come down to this,” Leeteuk spoke up.

                “Have you become a diehard ELF of something?” Minah chuckled.

                “No!” I laughed. “Other people are going to speak. Duh!”

                “Like who?” Kyusoon asked.

                “You’ll see!” I hissed. “Now everyone shut up!”

                “Will you just tell us what’s going on already?” Minah pleaded. “I’m starting to question your sanity.”

                “I’ve been questioning it for a long time,” Min Neul added. I shot her a glare. Hyerin burst out laughing.

                “Doesn’t thinks incident make you appreciate who you have around you now?” Kang Ho Dong asked the celebrity guests. Everyone collectively nodded in agreement.

                 “Wait, is that L.Joe from Teen Top?” Kyusoon asked, pointing to the screen.

                “Yes,” I answered. Maybe we were getting closer! “Now shut up!”

                “You never know who’s going to suddenly leave your life,” Niel was saying. The camera panned to the section where the other five members of Teen Top were sitting. They were all nodding in agreement.
                “Teen Top’s never been on Strong Heart!” Kyusoon said excitedly.

                “SHUSH!” I commanded.

                “What’s going on?” Minah whined.

                I whipped my head around. “Shush! You’ll see!”

                “Have you a story you’d like to share with us?” Lee Seung Gi, the other host, asked.

                “It’s not my story to tell,” Niel said, sitting back. “It’s L.Joe’s.”

                All eyes were on L.Joe. He bit his lip and nodded slowly. The crowd was growing interested. “It’s kind of a long story, actually,” L.Joe admitted. “And it’s kind of shocking.”

                The crowd gasped. “We like shocking!” Kang Ho Dong boomed jovially.

                L.Joe chuckled. He hung his head. “I can already feel my popularity decreasing…”

                “Spit it out!” Ricky commanded, which made the audience erupt with laughter.

                “Alright, alright!” L.Joe re-adjusted his position in his chair. My eyes were glued to him. Not just because of what he was saying but because he looked rather attractive while saying it. He was dressed in tight, light colored skinny jeans, a yellow belt looped around his thin waist, and a white button-up shirt with the sleeves pushed up. Recently he started wearing his hair in a mess of neat pink curls, but today he wore it straight. Just the way I like it. For me. This whole thing was for me.

                “I haven’t exactly been honest with my fans. It’s not that I’ve been lying to them, I just haven’t told them about a really important aspect of my life. And I don’t think it’s fair to keep them in the dark about it any longer.”

                “Is this what we’re supposed to be watching?” Kyusoon asked suddenly.

                “YES.” I inched closer to the television. “NOW SHUSH!”

                “This might shock a lot of you,” L.Joe began. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and spoke. “But I have a girlfriend.”

                Shock hit the audience like an atomic bomb. Other idols on the panel dropped their jaws in awe. Idols didn’t just come out and say they were dating on TV broadcasts like this; they wait patiently for representatives to confirm the rumors. What L.Joe just did could potentially go down in Strong Heart history.

                “He has a girlfriend?” Kyusoon cried, jumping up.

                “No way!” Minah cried.

                “SHUSH!” I commanded, feeling a rush of adrenaline.

                “You have a girlfriend?” Kang Ho Dong boomed excitedly. “Well, well, this is certainly news!”

                “I know it’s a really big deal,” L.Joe was on the edge of his chair. His face matched the color of his hair, and his eyes were smiling. “And I put Teen Top’s popularity in jeopardy by admitting it. But, it’s true. I have a girlfriend, and we’ve been together for almost a year.”

                “LUCKY !” Kyusoon cried.

                “WHO IS SHE?” Minah exclaimed.

                Oh, God. My hands were suddenly clammy.

                 “A year?” Lee Seung Gi cried.

                “Well, we actually broke up for a short amount of time,” L.Joe explained. “For three months. Those were the most terrible three months of my entire life.”

                “Wow!” Kang Ho Dong exclaimed. “She meant that much to you?”

                A smile spread across L.Joe’s face. “More than you know.”

                The crowd gasped again. Kyusoon and Minah were going wild.

                “I cannot believe this!” Minah exclaimed.

                “I think the question on everyone’s minds is, is she an idol?” Kang Ho Dong asked.

                “HyunA!” Kyusoon shouted at the TV. “I hope it’s HyunA!”

                “Actually, no.” L.Joe shook his pink head. “She’s not. She’s not famous, she’s a student. She’s really, really intelligent. She wants to be a doctor, so she goes to a special science high school.”

                “WHAT?” Kyusoon shouted.

                “Oh my God, what if she goes to Seoul Science High School?” Minah cried.

                “Well where else could she go to school?” Kyusoon responded. “Our school’s the most well known specialized science high school!”

                 “Shush!” I commanded. I pointed to the screen.

                L.Joe’s words seem to have impressed the studio audience. The hosts’ eyes lit up, which made L.Joe smiled proudly. “She must be very intelligent!” Kang Ho Dong exclaimed.

                “She’s very smart. And very pretty.” L.Joe gave the camera a sweet, shy smile. Everyone in Teen Top nodded in agreement, glancing at L.Joe. “My fellow Teen Top members know her. We’re all really close, actually,” L.Joe added.

                “None of us really have experience with girls, so it was really nice getting to know her,” Chunji added.

                “We’re all good friends with her, actually,” Changjo spoke up.

                “We all get along with her really well. She’s fun and easy-going. Because she’s not an idol, she keeps us grounded. We just act like normal guys when we’re with her,” Niel explained.

                L.Joe nodded vigorously in agreement. “Because I’m only eighteen, I still want to be a normal guy. My life’s changed a lot since I debuted in Teen Top. I can’t do the things I used to be able to do, like hang out with my friends. I’m really thankful she came into my life, because she makes me feel like a normal eighteen year old boy.”

                “She’s not intimidated that you’re an idol?” Lee Seung Gi asked.

                L.Joe shook his pink head. “I don’t think so. Teen Top wasn’t very popular when we met her, anyway. We had just debuted.”

                “So she wasn’t a friend you had before you became an idol? A childhood friend?” Lee Seung Gi continued. The audience was listening intently.

                L.Joe shook his head again. “No. I met her through my label, T.O.P Media, actually. Her father works for the company. Her uncle does, too.”

                I never told Kyusoon and Minah that Andy is my uncle. Shinhwa was really popular in the 90’s, when we were growing up. No doubt about it they remember the band and the members and some songs. If I had told them, they would have definitely understood everything by now. The secret would be out, once and for all. If L.Joe wouldn’t give them more hints, I’d have to drop the bomb myself.

                “Ah, so she’s familiar with the life of an idol, I’m assuming?” Lee Seung Gi asked.

                L.Joe nodded. “She understands my life. She knows how busy I am. We try to make every effort we can to see each other, but it’s hard sometimes.”

                “Every change they get to see each other, they take,” C.A.P explained.

                “Love overcomes all obstacles,” Kang Ho Dong announced, which made everyone nod in agreement.

                “It’s not easy,” L.Joe said, still smiling from the audience’s admiration, “but we manage.”

                “I’m curious; what made you suddenly want to confess this now?” Lee Seung Gi asked.

                L.Joe shifted in his seat. He stuck his tongue through the little crack between in lips and thought a moment. “I guess…I don’t think it’s fair of me to keep it a secret. It’s not fair to our fans, and it’s not fair to her. Truth is, she’s a huge part of my life and I want to acknowledge that. I don’t want to have to sacrifice us for my popularity. Doesn’t she have the right, like every other girlfriend, to be able to admit we’re dating? We’re no different than any other couple. I’m not a celebrity when I’m around her, I’m just a guy.

                I don’t care if I become the least favorite member, I’ll be okay with that, really. I want everyone to support Teen Top, not just one member. So what if I have a girlfriend? Does that mean our fans still can’t listen to and love our music? I want fans to like us for our music, not because we’re single.

                I love every one of my fans. Every single one of them. Especially my L.Jjangs—I hear that’s what my individual fans call themselves. I love all of them. And I’m sorry I kept this a secret from them for so long.” L.Joe looked right into the camera with a thoughtful look on his face. “If I caused us to lose fans, I hope it’s at least because I’ve been keeping this a secret, and not just because I have a girlfriend.”

                I had to smile; I couldn’t fight it. L.Joe just took the biggest risk of his life by publically admitting he had a girlfriend, and he was fully aware of it. He didn’t care about his popularity; he cared about what was fair for his fans and his girlfriend—who, I might mention, was curled up in a ball in front of the television, smiling like a lovesick idiot to herself.

                “Awww!” Min Neul cooed.

                “He’s really sweet,” Hyerin smiled.

                “Yeah, he is,” Kyusoon said slowly. “Whoever his girlfriend is, she’s one lucky girl.”

                “What if she goes to our school? What if we know her?!” Minah exclaimed.

                I took a deep breath. “Actually,” I started, “you do.”

                “You know who she is?!” Kyusoon exclaimed.

                “Does she go to our school?” Minah cried.

                It was now or never. in air like it was confidence, I turned around to face them. “She’s me.”

                Kyusoon and Minah scrunched their eyebrows together. They exchanged puzzled, skeptical glances.         Finally, one of them spoke. It was Minah. “What?”

                I bit my lip, shaking slightly. “I asked you to come over today because I knew L.Joe was going to be on Strong Heart. I knew he was going to confess he had a girlfriend. And, I know this is probably unbelievable, but,” I paused and shrugged. “I’m his girlfriend.”

                “You’ve got to be kidding me,” Kyusoon said slowly.

                “I swear, it’s true,” I confessed. “My dad is the financial advisor for T.O.P Media. Andy’s my uncle.”

                “But, that would mean—”

                “You’re right,” I cut Minah off. “My uncle created Teen Top.”

                Kyusoon and Minah screamed.  They clamped their hands over their mouth but their screams were still more than audible. They completely drowned out Kang Ho Dong’s hearty laughter on television. “You’ve got to be kidding me!” Kyusoon shrieked. Her face was bright red and she smiled so widely it looked painful.

                I chuckled. “I’m not, I swear! There’s a lot more to the story, and I promise I’ll fill you in on it, just—.”

                “How did you meet?” Kyusoon demanded. “You know everyone in Teen Top? Is he gorgeous in person? Is he really that short in person? Is he a good kisser? OH MY GOD HAVE YOU KISSED HIM?”

                “Kyusoon!” I cried, laughing. “I swear I will tell you everything, just wait until L.Joe’s segment is over, okay?”

                 “L.Joe, you seem like a very caring boyfriend,” Kang Ho Dong smiled.

                L.Joe shrugged. “I do care a lot about her. Always have. I know she’s watching this right now.” He looked towards the camera and smiled shyly again, his eyes turning the shape of rainbows. “I hope she’s proud of me.”

                Words couldn’t express how proud I was of him. I almost had tears in my eyes. The entirety of our time spent as boyfriend and girlfriend, we kept it a secret from nearly everyone. To finally have the secret out, to not be hiding anything anymore, felt liberating.

                The world knew. The world finally knew.

                “Oh my God.” Minah covered with her hands.

                I was blushing. “I am proud,” I said in a low whisper. “Very proud.”

                L.Joe’s segment came to an end. The conversation shifted when an actress began explaining a story about wanting to make her father proud when she was a young girl. Now that we had nothing left to watch, I could finally explain myself.

                “Alright, it’s over. You have a lot of explaining to do, missy.” Minah put her hands on her lips.

                “I know, I know,” I giggled, flopping on the couch beside her. “And I’m willing to explain everything. I promise.”

                “Everything?” Kyusoon asked, raising an eyebrow.

                “Everything,” I promised.

                “Is your uncle really Andy?” Minah asked excitedly.

                “Yes,” I laughed. “I’ve mentioned my Uncle Sunho before. You just never knew he was Andy.”

                “Oh my God!” Minah slapped her forehead. “I never suspected it!”

                “So how did you meet L.Joe?” Kyusoon asked eagerly.

                “Through Uncle Sunho. He asked if I wanted to meet the new band he was producing, so I said yes. That was about a week before the debuted, I think. I didn’t know Teen Top was going to be so popular and the members were going to be so good looking,” I chuckled.

                “When did you start dating L.Joe?”

                “Uh, well, I was just friends with him for a little while. Then he kind of confessed that he liked me, and of course I liked him back, so we started dating secretly. We started dating in July.”

                “Why didn’t you tell us?!” Minah exclaimed.

                I felt my face get hot. “Oh, I wanted to! Trust me! I really wanted to! But technically L.Joe wasn’t allowed to have a girlfriend, and we thought it’d just be best if we kept it a secret. I really wanted to tell you guys, and I’m sorry I never did.” I dropped my gaze, ashamed. “You totally have the right to be mad at me. I’d understand.”

                Minah smiled thoughtfully. She threw her arms around me and hugged me. “How could we be mad?”

                Kyusoon joined the group hug. “I’m not mad at you. I’m just ing jealous of you.”

                I burst out laughing. “It’s not a big deal, really. Byunghun’s not a celebrity when I’m with him. He’s just a normal guy.”

                “Yeah, but he’s still famous,” Minah muttered. “So tell me; is he a good kisser?”

                “I can’t even imagine kissing a celebrity,” Kyusoon said dreamily.

                I laughed. “Yeah. He’s a good kisser.”

                Kyusoon and Minah squealed and hugged me once more. I felt like I could dissolve in their tight embrace; this is the moment I had been waiting for. I always longed to squeal and freaked out over my boyfriend with my friends; that’s just what girls did. I wished they had been with me every single step of the way, for our first time holding hands, our first time kissing, and especially our first time fighting. If it weren’t for Hyerin and Min Neul, I would have lost my sanity.

                Minah turned to Hyerin and Min Neul. “Can you believe this?!” she asked excitedly.

                “Actually, yes,” Hyerin said shyly. “There’s something I should probably tell you, too.”

                Minah’s face went white. “No…”

                A smile spread across Min Neul’s face. She patted her unni’s shoulder. “Have you ever watched M-Net Scandal?”

                Minah and Kyusoon shook their heads.

                “Then there’s a lot you don’t know,” Min Neul giggled.

                The secrets were out. Officially out. I felt like a boulder had been lifted off my shoulders, like I had shed my skin. I had nothing left to hide. Every gasp, every squeal, and every hug was rewarding. Hyerin, Min Neul and I told them everything. We told them about M-Net Scandal and Min Neul’s huge crush on Changjo. We confessed about the night we invited them over to my place and the promises L.Joe broke. We filled them in on the big break up and my coping—or lack of. We explained everything, without hesitating or holding back. The wider their eyes grew, the better we felt.

                It’s such a bothersome thing keeping in a secret for so long. Sometimes you just feel like you want to burst. The secret is stuck in a box inside you and it constantly wrestles with you, desiring more than anything to break out of the chains. Like genies in bottles, the secrets were finally free.

                “This is all just too good to be true,” Kyusoon exclaimed dreamily.

                “I still can’t even believe it!” Minah chuckled.
                “I can prove it,” I shrugged.

                “How?” Minah challenged, a smile on her face.

                I slid my phone out of my pocket. “Strong Heart isn’t recorded live, you know. I bet Byunghun could talk.”

                Kyusoon gasped sharply.”You’re going to call him? Right here? Right now?”

                “Why not?” I smiled happily. Kyusoon, Minah, Hyerin, Min Neul and I crowded around the screen on my phone, waiting in suspense for Byunghun to answer. They were probably wondering whether or not he was going to answer at all. I wasn’t; I knew he would. If I knew Teen Top’s Mischievous Rapper L.Joe like I thought I did, he’d answer right away.

                And I knew exactly how he would greet me.

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                I'd like to take a minute to thank absolutely everyone who commented and/or subscribed to my first story! You're all angels to me. I love you so much! I'm so glad you were all interested in my story! Thank you for leaving such amazing comments about both the story and my writing. But more importantly, you've all given me so much more confidence about my writing ability. Thank you so much for that, everyone! ♥

                Maybe now would be a good time to tell you that for over two months, I've been writing the sequel to My Lips are Sealed. Yes, that's right, there will be a sequel! I'm not sure when it will be done or when I'll start posting it, but I do hope you all stay interested and stick around to read it. I promise it'll be even better than this one! ♥