The tip of my nose was less than an inch away from the mirror on the bathroom wall. My eyes scanned my entire face like a hawk, searching for even the tiniest imperfection. It had taken almost my entire bottle of foundation and three triangular makeup sponges to make my skin one smooth, even shade. Naturally, my skin wasn’t the greatest. I was always breaking out somewhere, mostly on my temples or around my nose. And my skin tone was never one even color. So, I stood in front of the bathroom mirror for ten minutes and blotted the magical makeup all over my face. Even halfway down my neck. I wanted to look perfect today. I had to look perfect today. I was going on my first date today.

            Back when I dated my last boyfriend, we went to the movies a few times with a couple of friends. We never went out just the two of us. I have never gone on a real date before.

            I had always secretly dreamed of my first date being the classic first date—you know, the guy shows up in his car at the girl’s front door, opens the car door open for her, pays for her movie ticket. They intimately share a small popcorn but order two separate drinks. Halfway through the movie, the boy smoothly puts his arm around the girl, and she’s pleasantly surprised at the sweet gesture. As the exit the theater, they notice how chilly is has become outside, so the boy takes off his beat-up jacket and caringly throws it over her shoulders. He pulls up to her house and opens the car door for her, and they walk side by side up the steps. They share a smile as she slides the jacket off her shoulders and hands it back to him. She tells him thanks for the date, and she had a lot of fun. He smiles and tells her he had fun too. Everything is dark except for the dim porch light, casting a romantic glow on their faces as they slowly lean forward for a goodbye kiss, their first kiss together. After slipping back into her house, she looks back at the boy’s car rolling down the street, hoping that her father wasn’t watching from the living room window and that the boy would call her tomorrow.

            Alright, so Byunghun wouldn’t be driving to my house. We were meeting at the movies. And we’ll probably order more than just a small popcorn and drinks. And I wouldn’t be shocked if Byunghun put his arm around me during the movie because he already does that all the time. But maybe Byunghun would walk me home as the sky starts to grow darker and we’ll kiss on my porch before he leaves. My mom would be the one watching us from the living room, and mid-kiss she’d open the front door and beckon Byunghun to not leave just yet, to stay for dinner. And maybe Byunghun would agree to dinner at my house and we’d spend the meantime playing video games, teasing each other, and kissing. That sounded like the classic first date, Byunghun and Kirin style.

            After deeming my skin acceptable, I scrutinized the rest of my face. Byunghun preferred more natural-looking makeup, but this was a special occasion I wore slightly more eye-makeup than I normally did. I even dusted blush lightly on my cheekbones. I puckered my lips together and slathered a sleek pink gloss on them, with the intention that the lip gloss might entice Byunghun to kiss me more than usual. I had even plucked my eyebrows for this occasion, for making them perfectly shaped and even. I rinsed my hair with cold water in the shower because cold water was supposed to make hair super shiny. I spent extra time blow-drying my hair straight, and then an even longer time running the flat iron through it until it was perfectly pin straight. I even wore a silver headband in my hair.

            I stood back from the mirror and surveyed my date-outfit-of-choice. Light colored skinny jeans, light gray ankle boots, a lacy white tank-top and a soft gray sweater over it. So what if we were seeing a horror movie? My soft gray cardigan would hopefully make Byunghun want to hold me closer. I even wore a string of delicate pearls around my neck and misted myself in cherry-blossom-scented perfume. Feminine. Delicate. Sophisticated.

            Truthfully, I probably could have gotten away with wearing a hoodie and Uggs to the movie. I probably didn’t have to spend an extra twenty-five minutes pointlessly shaving my legs because I was wearing jeans. I probably didn’t have to wear my nice pearl necklace and touch-up the white polish on my fingernails, either. I really didn’t have to stress about impressing Byunghun at this point; the hard part was over. We were almost eight months into our relationship. Our first kiss was forever ago. I already slept with him. For some odd reason, he already thought I was the most beautiful girl in the world. Maybe I was only trying to look good to make my dream of having the perfect, memorable, classic first date a reality.

            Still, I was analyzing how many buttons on my cardigan to button up and thinking about what lotion to use when my mom suddenly appeared in the doorway. “Wow, look at you, all dressed up!”

            I looked at myself in the mirror again. “Too dressed up?”

            “No,” Mom crossed her arms. “It’s your first date, after all.”

            I felt my heartbeat quicken at her words. My first date with Byunghun would begin in approximately twenty-two minutes. Should I bring the black leather purse or the small tan one?

            Apparently I asked that question out loud, because my mom threw her head back and laughed. “Kirin, dear, you’re thinking too much. This is Byunghun, not a new boyfriend. I doubt he’ll care what purse you bring.”

            Blushing at my irrational worrying, I turned away from the mirror. Mom was right, I was thinking too much. I looked fine. Pretty, even. Hopefully Byunghun would agree.

            Mom checked her watch. “Are you meeting him at the movies?”

            I nodded. “He has practice beforehand. But he said he could make it.”

            “He’s sure he can come?” Mom asked, raising an eyebrow. “I just don’t want you to be disappointed again if this doesn’t work out.”

            Way to go, Mom. Way to bring me down from my high. I’ve literally been dancing around the house all day, counting the minutes until my first date with Byunghun began. I actually believed that Byunghun would keep this promise. How could he promise something so huge and important like this and not follow through? A while ago he promised we would go on a real date. After some minor set-backs, it was finally happening. I had faith in Byunghun this time; he wouldn’t cancel it so soon, right?

            “Mom,” I said flatly, “it’s going to work out.”

            “I know, but…sweetie, listen. You know I love Byunghun. I think he’s a wonderful, talented young man and he cares about you very much. I just don’t want you to be disappointed if he can’t show up today. You know he’s an idol, he’s very busy. And I know he tries his best to make time for you, but it can’t always be done.” She sighed deeply, looking into my eyes. “Just…I just hope this date is everything you want it to be. Okay?”

            Mom didn’t have to give me advice about dating a celebrity. I’ve figured everything out myself. I’ve dealt with disappointment. I’ve gone weeks without seeing him. I’ve gone a weeks without talking to him. We’ve no strangers to this relationship and the hardships that come with it. I could have told Mom all of this, told her I knew how to handle this and told her not to worry. But I didn’t. I simply smiled and hugged her, thanking her for her support and concern.

            She kissed my forehead. “Do you have money?”

            “Byunghun’s paying,” I responded.

            Mom shook her head. “You still have to bring money….just in case.”

            I rolled my eyes. “Fine. I’ll bring thirty.”

            “Good,” said Mom. She checked her watch again. “Maybe we should get going. I don’t want Byunghun waiting there all by himself.”

            I ran into my room and grabbed the small tan purse and my caramel colored button-up coat. It wasn’t quite warm enough to wear a lighter jacket yet, even if it hadn’t snowed in days. Mom slipped on her coat and we headed out the door and into the car. I felt butterflies flutter around in my stomach as the ignition started and we backed out of the driveway.

            I glanced over to Hyerin and Min Neul’s house, silently promising to call them as soon as I was home from the date. I’d tell them every detail of every second of the date. We’d squeal and laugh and giggle together like normal teenage girls do after their first dates. As if the boys we were dating were just cute boys who went to our school. As if they weren’t members in a boy band.

            Approximately thirteen minutes later, we arrived at the movie theater. It looked fairly crowded, but the theater always did on Saturdays. Couples holding hands were scattered here and there, which instantly brought a smile to my face. I would be half of one of those couples soon.

            “Do you see Byunghun?” Mom asked.

            I scanned the crowd. “No. Maybe he’s inside. Or not here yet.” I unbuckled my seat belt and opened the car door.

            “Are you sure you don’t want to wait in the car until we see him?” Mom asked, concerned.

            I secretly rolled my eyes. “No, Mom. I’m fine.” I slid out of the car, and my mom sighed.

            “Don’t talk to strangers. Try to find Byunghun quickly. If you need me, call me. I’ll be here immediately. Okay?”

            “Okay Mom.” I smiled sweetly and closed the car door. I watched her slowly drive way. Almost immediately wanted to take my jacket off; I was suddenly feeling overheated even though it was cold outside. The mix of nerves and adrenaline and excitement was keeping me plenty warm.

            I scanned the crowd of people. I had no idea what Byunghun would be wearing, but he would probably be in a disguise. Maybe he would be wearing a sweatshirt with the hood up. Maybe he’d be wearing his beanie with his shiny pink hair all tucked inside. Maybe he’d be wearing a wig. No matter the disguise, I would be able to spot him right away.

            But looking around, I didn’t see anyone who looked even remotely like Byunghun.

            Maybe he just wasn’t here yet. I reached into my purse pocket and gripped my phone in my hand. I sent Byunghun a text message, telling him I was at the movies waiting for him. I stared at the screen for five minutes, waiting to receive a text back from him. I never got one. I shrugged and tucked my phone away. Maybe he didn’t have his phone with him.

            I found an empty seat on one of the benches that lined the sidewalk outside the ticket booth. Behind me was the movie poster for the horror movie Byunghun wanted to see. Maybe that would help him find me.

            A couple sat beside me. They were holding hands and whispering quietly to each other, smiling every now and then. They looked adorable. They were in love.

            Ten more minutes passed. I checked the time on my phone. 2:18. Okay, so Byunghun was running a few minutes late. Not a problem. Maybe I should go buy two tickets before the movie sold out...

            I stood up and walked over to the end of the ticket line. There were at least a dozen people ahead of me. I prayed the movie wouldn’t sell out. What would Byunghun want to see instead if it did? Probably an action movie. I shifted my weight nervously from one foot to the other and watched the time change on my phone. 2:19. 2:20.

            Byunghun was twenty minutes late?

            I decided to call him. As the line moved forward, I dialed his number and put the phone to my ear. It rang and rang and rang. He never picked up; it went straight to voice mail.

            “Uh, I’m at the movies right now waiting for you. You’re…really late. But, don’t worry, I’m in line to get the tickets. Okay? Just please hurry up and get here. The movie starts at 2:30. Love you. See you soon?”

            Somehow, the last sentence ended up sounding like a question.

            2:21. 2:22. 2:23. At 2:25 I was at the front of the line. I bought the tickets with my own money. Okay, so, this wasn’t happening exactly as I had pictured it. There were a few bumps in the road, but what were a couple of bumps in long, relatively flat journey? I could sit here and make a huge deal out of the fact that Byunghun was late, or I could revel in the moment of waiting for him to arrive on our date.

            I could practically envision him walking up the sidewalk, dressed in skinny jeans, chunky yellow sneakers, and a baggy sweatshirt, the floppy hood casting a shadow on his smiling face. He’d meet me where I was seated, and he’d greet me with a warm hug as he giggled excitedly “Hey there, beautiful! Ready for our date?” I could picture us walking hand in hand into the theater, after he opened the door for me, of course. I could picture us comfortably sitting side by side in the theater the moment the lights dimmed. The room would darken, and Byunghun would reach his hand up and pull down his hood, revealing his head of pink hair. That hair would be a dead giveaway as to who he really was, but in the darkness, no one would know it was him but me.

            Still, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t shake the nagging feeling in the back of my mind that all that would ever be was a vision, not a reality.

            I shook my head, shaking off that nagging feeling. I rolled my shoulders back and glance around one more time. Again, Byunghun was nowhere in sight. I lifted my head and felt the wind on my face, which had significantly increased in speed and decreased in temperature. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath of fresh air, trying to clear my head of doubt. There was no way Byunghun was blowing me off. He was coming. I knew he was coming. He made a promise and he said no more disappointments. I believed him. I knew he’d be coming. He said he would. He promised. He said he’d keep this promise. This was our first date. He wouldn’t stand me up. He just wouldn’t. He would be here any minute now. Maybe he was just running late. Maybe practice went later than he thought. Maybe he would just come late…

            But if that was the case, why didn’t he tell me?

            I held onto a tiny sliver of hope and sat on that bench by myself far longer than I should have. I slowly watched as people poured into the theater to go see the horror movie Byunghun and I should be seeing. We should be sharing popcorn and candy. Byunghun should be pulling down his hood to reveal his pink hair as soon as the lights dimmed. I should be cuddled up next to him, burying my face in his chest during the scary parts.

            It’s 3:27.

            I should not be trudging broken-heartedly down the street with tears streaming down my perfectly made-up face, my steps heavy but my heart heavier.