February ended on a nice note. It hadn’t snowed all that much, and the bulky piles of snow that already existed were slowly shrinking with every passing day. The second school semester was right around the corner, and after finishing out the first strongly, I was expected to keep up my stellar grades, and even more expected to do better. The A- in physiology bugged me. I was so close to an A+, but I had fallen short somewhere. As a result, I was sprawled out on my bed, reading over my physiology notes I had been here for nearly two hours already, lying on my back while I held the notebook in the air for me to see. Two hours of highlighting, rewording, memorizing, and I didn’t even have a test coming up for at least a week.

                 I tore my eyes away for a split second to check what time it was on my iPhone; I touched the screen lightly, and a picture of Byunghun brightly stared back at me. It was a picture he had taken himself when his hair was first dyed pink. He was doing the cute little peace sign, and he was all ready for a Supa Luv performance, with eyeliner smudged around his dark eyes and a white leather jacket with a popped collar on. His lips were slightly pouted, and I’ll confess to kissing the screen of my phone every now and then.

                9:09. I put down my notes and closed my tired eyes. I rolled over in my bed and reached my arms under my pillow, my mind drifting back to that one night in mid-February I spent with Byunghun. I hadn’t seen him at all since then; I had exams to study my off for and he was busy doing whatever idols at T.O.P Media must do. I was dying to see him in person. We had texted briefly, and I had talked on the phone with him once. I had actually called Changhyun to wish him a happy birthday, but Byunghun had rudely stolen the phone from his dongsaeng when he was sweetly thanking his “favorite noona.” That conversation hadn’t even lasted very long, anyway. Long story short, I missed hearing his voice. Sure, I could reach for my iPod and hear it at any given moment, but it wasn’t the same. Anyone could hear L.Joe cajole “Your love plus my luv, supa luv” through headphones, but not everyone could hear him coax “Hey there, beautiful” right to your face.

Suddenly L.Joe’s y rapping filled the room, courtesy of my phone. I sat up and grabbed it, fumbling slightly due to the sudden adrenaline rush; Byunghun was calling me.

                “Byunghun!” I cried. 

                “Hey there, beautiful,” his deep voice coaxed sweetly on the other end.

                “I missed you!” I exclaimed, shortly realizing how desperate I sounded.

                 “I missed you too,” he replied. He sounded equally as desperate. Suddenly I didn’t feel so lame. “How’ve you been?”

                I let out a sigh. “Busy. The second semester of school begins tomorrow.”

“Ohhh!” He seemed interested. He loved hearing me talk about school. “How did you do on your exams?”

                I pouted. “A-minus in physiology.”

                “Ooo, that’s rough,” he said sarcastically.

                I laughed. “It is! It was my only A-minus!”

                It was Byunghun’s turn to laugh. “I’m sorry, babe. I know you’re a perfectionist.”

                “I’m not a perfectionist; I’m just expected to be,” I said matter-of-factly.

                “But don’t you always do what you’re told?” Byunghun giggled.

                I rolled my eyes. “Oh, whatever. Anyway, why’d you call? Just to talk?”

                “Sort of. Remember the promise I made you?”

                How could I forget? “You said you’d take my on a date.”

                “How about we do it soon?”

                “Soon?” I repeated. “How soon?”

                “This Saturday.”

                Saturday was in six days. “Where would we go?”

                “I have a performance that night, but afterwards, I’m all yours.”

                I felt my face break into a smile, but I contained it quickly. “I don’t know, Byunghun…how would people react if they saw     Teen Top’s Mischievous Rapper on a date with an unknown girl?”

                Byunghun didn’t respond for a few moments. He was probably thinking. “I’ll just wear a disguise.”

                “Disguise?” I repeated hesitantly. I pictured Byunghun wearing some stupid fake mustache and a bulky hooded sweatshirt. What an enviable first date.

                “Yeah, it’ll totally work! We can go to the movies, and I’ll take off my disguise when the movie begins and it’s dark. No one will know it’s me except you.”

                I in a bunch of air. “Are you sure that would work?”

                “Totally. Babe, I’ll do anything I can to go on a real date with you. We’ve been together for eight months now. I owe it to you for us to be a normal couple for a change.”

                I wished this conversation was happening face-to-face, because I so badly wanted to throw my arms around Byunghun’s body and hug him tightly. “You’re the best, you know that?”

                “I wouldn’t say that,” Byunghun chuckled. “You’re the best. You put up with so much crap that most girlfriends don’t have to put up with. And you never complain about it. You’re amazing.”

                I shrugged.

                I wasn’t amazing.

                Just in love.

                “But, now, we have some important business to discuss. What movie would you like to see, my lady?”

                “I don’t know…an action movie, maybe. You like action movies.”

                “What about a horror movie?” Byunghun asked mischievously.

                I bit my lip. “I get scared too easily.”

                “I’ll be there. You won’t be scared with me, right?”

                I could be standing inside a creepy haunted house surrounded by blood-thirsty zombies and soul-stealing ghosts trying to gauge my eyes out with rusted sickles, but as long as Byunghun was there for me to clutch onto, I wouldn’t have one ounce of fear in me.

                “Of course not,” I agreed with a smile.

                “Good! Because there’s a scary movie I really wanted to see. But only if you’ll see it with me. Okay?”

                “Okay,” I giggled.

                I knew Byunghun was smiling, his eyes the shape of rainbows. “You’re the best. I can’t wait for Saturday to come. I hope I don’t forget my lines on stage, because all I’ll be thinking about is you.”

                “Maybe I’ll come to the performance,” I thought out loud.

                “Really? That’d be great! We’re performing the remix version of Supa Luv!”

                “I know," I giggled.

                "How? Did I aready tell you about it?" Byunghun asked.

                I rolled my eyes. "Have you forgotten that I’m an Andromeda too?” I giggled

                “Oh, right.” Byunghun chuckled cutely. “Well, what do you think of it?”

                “I love it!” I gushed. “I love the part when the choreography slows down. You guys look so good!”

                “What about L.Joe?” Byunghun asked. “How does he look?”

                I rolled my eyes, but smiled. “You look amazing, as usual.”

                Suddenly, a bunch of unidentifiable noise came flooding through my iPhone. “Byunghun?” I asked.

                “Babe, I gotta go,” he practically shouted. “We gotta get back to work. Can’t wait for Saturday! I’ll text you later!”

                He quickly hung up before I could even say goodbye.

                I’m always extra tired on Friday mornings. I guess my brain can tell the weekend is approaching, because I tend to sleep in as late as I can on Fridays. I press the snooze button on my alarm clock at least twice before I finally roll out of bed. Sometimes my mom even has to come in my room and yank my covers off to force me out of bed.

                “Up and at ‘em!” Mom called, slapping the unmoving mound underneath the purple bedspread.

                The mound grumbled. I kicked the covers off my bed and rolled out of it. A few minutes later I was in the shower, and another few minutes later I was out. As I got dressed in my school uniform, I thought to myself, One more day, Kirin, just one more day until you finally get to see Byunghun again. I instantly got a shock of energy just by thinking about it.

                Hyerin, Min Neul and I carpool to school together. My mom always brings us, because she didn’t go into work until nine. I wish Seoul Science High School was like that; we begin classes at seven sharp. When they came out of the front door, Hyerin was wearing her usually puffy navy-blue coat; Min Neul wore Changjo’s gray hoodie over her uniform.

                “Is that Changjo’s?” I giggled when she slid into the car.

                “She hasn’t taken it off since he gave it to her!” Hyerin exclaimed.

                Min Neul zippered it up tighter and hugged herself. “I’m never taking it off.”

                I smiled to myself. Min Neul reminded me a lot of myself sometimes. After that one time Byunghun and I had played dress-up in the basement of T.O.P Media’s office building, I had put on his sweatshirt, and he told me to keep it. To this day I still have it, and I wear it almost every night to bed. Sometimes I’d lounge around the house in his sweatpants too, and Mom would tease me by calling me L.Joe. I remember the first time my dad had seen my wear that ensemble; I had come down the stairs after sleeping in until eleven one Saturday morning. Dad had peeked at me from behind the newspaper, his eyebrows high on his forehead. He told me those weren’t my usual pajamas, and asked where I had gotten them from. I had blushed and told him they weren’t mine, they were Byunghun’s. At first he didn’t like me wearing Byunghun’s clothes around the house, but since that day I had collected one pair of sweatpants, one sweatshirt, one hoodie, and two t-shirts. I wore all those clothes quite frequently, so my father had no choice but to accept it. In fact, I wore Byunghun’s black t-shirt to bed last night. That one was my favorite.

                When we arrived at school, Hyerin and I walked Min Neul to her class, as usual, and then continued down the hall to our classroom.

                “Do you and Min Neul want to come to Music Core with me on Saturday?” I asked bluntly.

                “They’re performing, right?” Hyerin asked, her voice low.

                “Of course,” I responded. “And afterwards, he promised to take me on a real date.”

                “Oh my God, really? Hyerin asked. “Aren’t people going to recognize his, uh, pink hair?”

                I laughed and shook my head. “He’s wearing a disguise. Until we’re in the theater, though. He promise to make this as normal as possible.”

                “That’s so sweet! Maybe Minsoo and I should try that,” Hyerin said wistfully.

                “I’ll let you know if it actually works,” I giggled as we strolled into class.

                “So, Music Core on Saturday?” Hyerin asked quietly as we took our seats.

                 I nodded. “I’ll pick you up. I’m staying with him afterwards, though.”

                “That’s fine.” Hyerin slid the little diamond pendant on its thin chain around her neck. She was smiling sweetly. “Maybe I’ll stick around too.”

               I opened my mouth to respond, but the bell rang, indicating class had started and not another mouth was to open except the professor’s. All throughout class, Hyerin and I secretly sent excited glances back and forth.

                We were deep in a lecture about the function of the endocrine system almost two hours into class. I was scribbling away notes about the lecture when I felt something vibrate behind me. My eyes widened as I sat back farther in my seat, trying to suppress the vibrating. Cell phones were strictly prohibited, and anyone caught using one was kicked out of class for sure. I guess I had forgotten to turn my phone off. But who could be texting—or calling—me at this time? Mom and Dad were at work. All my friends were in school with me. Had one of them secretly texted me? Maybe it was Hyerin, still gushing about the upcoming events this Saturday.

                What if it was Byunghun?

                I had to wait until lunch time to check my phone, because there was no way I could during class. I tried to focus on my notes but it was difficult. I felt my phone vibrate two more times until it finally stopped. As soon as we were dismissed from lunch, I grabbed my bag, slung it over my shoulder, and flew out the door and into the bathroom.

                The bathroom was where everyone went to text or make a phone call. There were no security cameras and no teachers around, so all you had to do was go in a stall, lock the door, and you were free to text all you wanted. Hyerin, Kyusoon, and Minah would probably be wondering where I was, but I could always just blame my impromptu bathroom break on my period, even though it totally wasn’t that time.

                Luckily the bathroom was empty when I arrived. I shut myself in the stall farthest away from the door and pulled out my phone. I didn’t have any text messages at all; I had three missed calls, all from Byunghun.

He left me three messages. What was going on? Why would he need to call me three consecutive times when I was in school?

                I chewed off nearly my entire thumbnail while I listened to the first message. “Kirin, it’s Byunghun. I know you’re in school and you probably won’t answer this call, but, if you hear anything about Teen Top getting in a car accident, don’t worry, okay, don—” the message abruptly ended.

                My heart stopped completely. Car accident? Teen Top got in a car accident?! My Byunghun was in a car accident this morning? Was he okay? What if he was hurt? I bit my thumbnail harder and blinked away the tears forming in the corner of my eyes as I listened to the second message. Byunghun’s voice was breathy and panicked and there was a bunch of static-y noise in the background, which made me twice as nervous as I was before.

                “God, I lost the call! I’m sorry…Kirin, I probably shouldn’t  be calling you right now anyway but there’s no way I can text this to you cause there police is here and an ambulance and stuff, and…okay well we were on our way to rehearsal…and a car hit our van…but don’t worry, okay, everyone’s—” the call ended.

                Everyone’s WHAT? I was in full panic mode right now. There was no way I was going to lunch today. Maybe not even class again. I could fake bad cramps and get the nurse to give me a pass home. The nurse rarely ever did that, but she was much easier on girls, especially if you asked to go home due to a girl-related problem. I was practically hyperventilating as I listened to the last message, Byunghun’s voice trembling.

                “DAMMIT! Kirin…I’m sorry I keep hanging up because…I can’t really talk right now. But listen to me carefully...I’m fine! Okay, I’m…fine, no one’s hurt. We’re a little sore and stuff but no one’s hurt, okay? Please…don’t worry, babe. Alright…I really have to go this time…I love you. Don’t worry…okay?” the call ended.

                I don’t care if Byunghun said not to worry; I was going to worry anyway. Instantly I wondered how the accident happened, and what exactly happened. Was the other car speeding? Was Teen Top’s van speeding? Whose fault was the accident? Where did this happen? No one’s hurt, but everyone’s sore? Where were they now? 

                Though my teary vision, I dialed Byunghun’s number and held the phone to my ear with a shaky grasp, praying I could hear his voice. He didn’t answer. His phone went straight to voicemail. I let out a grunt of frustration as I hung up. I wiped my eyes clean and took a deep breath before I strolled out of the stall. Byunghun was fine. He wasn’t hurt, he wasn’t dead. So there was really nothing to worry about. But why did he have to tell me this now, in the middle of the school day? There was no way I could focus for the rest of the day.

                I took one brief look in the mirror before I left the bathroom. Long, dark, straight hair parted to the left, round eyes faintly smudged with eyeliner, a flat nose that had turned pink at the tip, and pouty lips. My uniform was slightly wrinkled, as usual. For a brief second I wondered what Byunghun saw in me, because I pretty much looked like everyone else, especially when I wore my rectangular black-rimmed glasses. I was nothing special, but my other half was.

                But then again, Byunghun was just a person too. Despite being adored by thousands of Andromedas and having this alter-stage-ego of a teenage, pick-haired, -symbol, he was just a person too. He felt lazy sometimes. He couldn’t wait for his long work day to be over. Maybe he, like many other people on the planet, just wanted someone to love. Maybe he didn’t think of himself as anything special. Maybe we hold celebrities on such high pedestals that we forget they’re humans too.

                I rolled my shoulders back, took a deep breath, and tried to push all the panic out of my system. Time to become Lee Kirin, the smart, submissive and single student, not Lee Kirin, the girlfriend of L.Joe, the pink-haired rapper who just got in a car accident.

                I didn’t tell Hyerin and Min Neul right away, as much as I wanted to. I couldn’t even tell them on the way home from school either, because Kyusoon and Minah had joined us. Kyusoon had asked me today if anything was wrong, because it had been a while since the usually group hung out. I said I was just stressed out because of exams, and she consoled with me, telling me she was equally stressed out. She suggested we do some de-stressing tonight, and I agreed. I needed to do something to keep my mind busy, so I asked the girls if they wanted to spend the night at my house.

                “Do you guys like this color?” Kyusoon held up her left hand and waved it. Her fingernails had been painted a deep shade of purple with my favorite nail polish.

                “I love it,” I gushed, sticking cotton between my toes.

                “Well I know you do,” Kyusoon giggled, “I was wondering if anyone else did,”

                “I like it,” Hyerin agreed. Minah nodded in agreement, looking up briefly from painting Min Neul’s toes with bright orange nail polish.

                It was such a relief that Kyusoon and Minah hadn’t protested when I invited both Hyerin and Min Neul to the sleepover. Despite being grades below us, I think we had all agreed Min Neul was mature for her age, and it wasn’t a big deal when she hung out with us at all.

                Min Neul was still wearing Changjo’s hoodie. She had changed out of her school uniform, and was instead sporting a black ribbed t-shirt and purple and blue striped pajama pants. She had pushed up the sleeves on so she could have her nails painted easier, but she was still wearing it. Even though my room had become pretty warm with five girls inside it with the door shut, Min Neul refused to take off that hoodie.

                The minute we all decided to change into pajamas, I popped open the top drawer of my dresser, the drawer where I kept all of his clothes, and pulled on his sweatpants. I wanted to engulf myself in all of his clothes, crawl into a ball on my bed and call him over and over again until he answered. He hadn’t returned any of my texts or calls and I felt like going insane.

                I tried to focus on keeping my hands as steady as possible while Hyerin painted my nails pearly white. I silently took a deep breath and tried to calm myself down. Byunghun is fine, he said so himself, I thought.Everyone is fine. Calm down and stop worrying.

                My iPhone was connected to the stereo, and it was on shuffle. Suddenly Teen Top’s “Supa Luv” came on. Min Neul’s head shot up, and Hyerin and I exchanged smiles.

                “Kirin!” Kyusoon smiled, waving her wet nails back and forth. “I didn’t know you liked Teen Top.”

                I’m in love with L.Joe. Seriously, in love with him.

                I shrugged. “I’m beginning to like them.”

                “Really? What do you think of them?” Kyusoon was smiling broadly. When had she become such a big fan?

                I had to make this convincing. And what’s more convincing than the truth? “I think L.Joe is smoking hot.”

                “I know, right?” Kyusoon gushed. “What do you think of his pink hair?”

                I think it’s soft and fluffy and I love running my fingers through it when we’re making out.

                “It’s so unique,” I gushed. “He pulls it off really well.”

                “I think I like C.A.P the best,” Hyerin joined in.

                Oh, Hyerin. I know you like C.A.P the best.

                “Hyerin, you like Teen Top too?!” Kyusoon giggled.

                “Of course,” she giggled. “C.A.P is gorgeous.”

                “Not as gorgeous as Changjo!” Min Neul piped up.

                “Am I the only one who doesn’t listen to them?” Minah chuckled.

                “You should!” Kyusoon cried. “They’re amazing!” She thoughtfully looked down at her finger nails for a minute. “I heard they got into a car accident today.”

                “WHAT?” Hyerin cried, dropping the nail polish brush on my hand. Min Neul gasped way too loudly.

                “You didn’t hear?” Kyusoon cried. “No one got hurt. But isn’t that scary?”

                “And you’re sure one’s hurt?!” Min Neul cried.

                Kyusoon nodded. “Yeah, I heard no one’s hurt. So scary, though, right?”

                Hyerin shot me a wide-eyed glance and I gave her one right back. Suddenly, from across the room, my phone started ringing. I blushed immediately at my ringtone, which Kyusoon had started jamming out to.

                “You really do like L.Joe,” she giggled.

                I chuckled nervously as I quickly stood up. I snatched my phone off the iHome. “I’ll be right back,” I announced, staring down at the screen.

                Byunghun.

                My heart rate spiked dangerously as I quickly navigated my way into the hallway. I could hear Min Neul and Hyerin still freaking out in my bedroom. I paced down the hall and into the bathroom. I shut the door behind me and answered the call.

                “Byunghun!” I cried desperately into the phone. I was almost crying. I slid down to the floor and hugged my legs to my chest.

                “Babe, I’m sorry it took so long for me to call you,” Byunghun’s voice said on the other end. “We we just got done with Music Bank.”

                “You still performed tonight?” I asked frantically.

                “Well, yeah. No one’s hurt, I told you that.”

                I shrugged. “I know…but I’ve still been freaking out all day,” I gasped.

                “I’m fine, Kirin. Don’t worry about it.”

                Just the sound of his steady voice was calming me down. “I guess…I just needed to talk to you to confirm that you were okay.”

                Byunghun chuckled. “I’m totally fine. We went for a check-up just to be sure, but we’re all fine. My neck’s a little sore, but that’ll go away soon. Alright?”

                I pouted. “Wanna come over and get a neck massage?”

                Byunghun laughed. “That’s very tempting, but I’m afraid I can’t.”

                “I’m totally kidding. Kyusoon and Minah are sleeping over.”

                “What about Hyerin and Min Neul?”

                “Them too!” I replied.

                “Do they know about the accident?” Byunghun asked.

                “Yeah, Kyusoon told them. Apparently she’s, like, a huge Teen Top fan.” I sighed. “She called you hot.”

                “I am pretty hot, aren’t I?” Byunghun chuckled.

                “Yes,” I replied honestly. “Anyway, thank you for calling me. Really. I needed to hear your voice.”

                “Well, there’s one other thing I wanted to tell you,” Byunghun said.

                My stomach dropped. “…Okay. What is it?”

                “Ah, about our date tomorrow…I don’t think we can do it.”

                My heart dropped with my stomach. “How come?”

                “Because our publicist doesn’t think it’s a good idea. She says we’re already in the news for getting in an accident and she doesn’t think it’s a good idea for us to go out just yet. Plus she wants us to rest.”

                “Oh.” I blinked. “Okay.”

                Byunghun let out a deep sigh. “I’m sorry, Kirin. I really wanted to go out tomorrow too. Maybe you could still come to the show?”

                I shrugged. “Maybe.” I wasn’t keen on the idea of just watching L.Joe on stage, knowing that after the show I wouldn’t be cuddling up next to him in a dark movie theater, burying my face in his chest when the scary parts of the movie were on. But right now, that was the only way I had to see him.

                “Please? For me?”

                I sighed. “Yes. For you.”

                “Yes! Thanks so much, babe. I won’t disappoint you again, I promise!” Byunghun declared happily.

                I smiled a weak smile. “You’re welcome.”

                “Well, I’ll let you get back to your sleepover. Have fun. I love you,” he said sweetly.

                “I love you too. Bye,” I replied softly. I watched Byunghun’s name flash on the phone screen for a brief moment, until it faded and his picture stared back at me. Sighing, I tucked the phone back in my pocket. 

                Guess I’d have to wait a little longer for Byunghun to fulfill his promise.

- - - - -

                TEEN TOP'S SAYING GOODBYE THIS WEEK D: I am so BEYOND sad :(