I stared up T.O.P Media’s office building. I’d been her dozens of times, but it somehow felt forigen to me. I felt a warm June breeze blow gently around me. It softly blew my short hair around, framing my face. I lowered my gaze from the top half of the building to the concrete steps in front of me. I felt like a ghost sweeping anonymously through town, visiting all the important places I had been to back when I had been alive. One of my fondest memories had been made on these steps; it felt like ancient history.

                I took a step forward. My small white tennis shoes felt heavier than I remembered, and the steps seemed to stretch on longer than I remembered. I think they were steeper than I remembered, too. When I reached the top of the steps, I stared at the glass doors for a second. I took a deep breath, and I pulled the handle.

                The dark-haired receptionist was there. I think she remembered me, because I saw her smile faintly as I bowed to her. I shuffled my way to the elevator and pressed the button. When the elevator arrived, I stepped inside. The ride up seemed to take hours long. I tugged nervously at the heather gray v-neck and white shorts. I twirled the silver ring around my finger. I ran my fingers through my hair. I was nervous.

            Finally, the heavy elevator doors slid open, and I stumbled into a bleak white hallway. Instantly, the memories came flooding into my brain like an unstoppable river. I remembered the day Minsoo and Byunghun had raced down the hallway, each of them insisting on better runner. Minsoo had beaten Byunghun because halfway through the race, Byunghun’s knee had given out. He had bad knees; he wasn’t supposed to stress them any more than he already did by dancing. I remembered the panic that had seized my entire body as Byunghun hit the floor. After a minute passed he was fine, but I remembered how I worried endlessly about him for the rest of the week.

                I remembered the day Changhyun and Daniel had been spying on Byunghun and me, and how we chased them down the hallway and into the girls’ bathroom. I remembered Changhyun’s high-pitch scream when he realized where he had ended up, and I remembered how Jonghyun, Chanhee and Minsoo had nearly collapsed in a heap on the floor in laughter as Byunghun and I high-fived.

                I remembered the first time Byunghun and I kissed in this hallway. I remembered how he had reached up and hooked a strand of long hair around my ear before leaning in to kiss me. I remembered he had been hot and sweaty after practice, but I didn’t care. I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

                The sound of my footsteps felt forigen to me. I had lied to myself and pretended to wonder what room they’d be in. In reality I knew exactly what room. The last room on the right. The one with a dent in the center of the door because Daniel dared Minsoo to punch it, and Minsoo had stupidly followed through. Were those memories still fresh in their minds as well? And was I a part of their memories the way they were a part of mine?

                I nervously swallowed all the air inside my mouth, which has suddenly run dry. I fidgeted with my clammy hands and my mind started reeling. What if they weren’t there? What if Byunghun wasn’t there? What if they were all there but him? What if he was the only one there? What if he told me to leave? What if he still hated me with all his guts and never wanted to speak to me again?

                What if this was a complete waste of time?

                I abruptly stopped in my tracks. This was a complete waste of time. Jonghyun didn’t know what he was talking about. Byunghun didn’t want to see me again. He said so himself. This was useless. All I was going to do was make a fool of myself.

                I whipped around to make a run for it, but something stopped me from moving any further. Someone was walking down the hallway; a boy dressed head to toe in black, from his high top sneakers to the hair on his head. I felt my breathe escape me and I prayed that he wasn’t who I thought—who I knew he was.

                Suddenly he stopped walking and looked up.

                “Kirin?” he spoke, his wide eyes filled with astonishment at the same time.

                I forced myself to open my mouth and speak. We were walking towards each other, but when we both stopped, there was still quite a distance between us. “H-hi, Byunghun,” I stuttered.

                Byunghun uncomfortably shifted his weight from one foot to the other. He stuck his tongue against his cheek, which always meant he was nervous. I remembered that about him. “What…what are you doing here?” he asked flatly.

                “Um,” I sighed sharply, slightly offended by his uncaring tone, “I…I just wanted to see how you were doing, and see how everyone else is doing, and, stuff…”

                He raised an eyebrow and stuffed his hands in his pocket. He shrugged slightly. “Um, I’m fine, thank you,” he retorted matter-of-factly. He was using Korean formal speech. That was the type of speech you used when you were talking to an adult or someone unacquainted with you. This wasn’t the type of language to use to someone you were once friends with, you once dated. You didn’t use this kind of language to the girl you had your first kiss with, the girl you slept with. I thought I’d burst into tears.

                “That’s good,” I said, putting forth a forced smile. Byunghun wasn’t buying it, and I could tell.

                Seeing him stand before me made me realize just how much I missed him. I missed the way he’d greet me. I missed the way he’d smile with his eyes and throw his head back to project his dorky laugh into the air. I missed the way he’d whisper the sweetest compliments softly in my ear. I miss the way he’d call me at five in the morning and wish me a good day at school. I missed the way he understood exactly what I was thinking as if he could read my mind like a first grade reading book. I missed the taste of his M-shaped lips, I missed the secure feeling of his hugs, and I missed knowing he’d always be there for me for anything and everything.

                I fought the tears. “So…how’s life been?”

                “Uh, good.” He reached up and touched the ends of his jet black hair that matched the jet black eyeliner around his jet black eyes and his jet black leather coat. “Um…how about you?”

                “Oh, um, fine.” I suddenly looked down at my nails. I wished they were coated with nail polish so I could concentrate on picking it off to keep myself from looking at him. I thought he looked absolutely stunning. His black hair was straight, sleek and ultra shiny. It caught the light every single time he moved even the slightest bit. His dark almond-shaped eyes looked absolutely striking against his soft white skin and his body looked amazing in a tight white tank-top with a leather jacket over it, black skinny jeans and a black and white scarf tied loosely around his neck.

                “That’s good,” he croaked. “You, uh, you’re look good these days, I guess.”

                The knot in my stomach tightened and I thought I’d puke right then and there. “Uh, you do too,” I lied. He looked better than good; he looked positively resplendent. I forced myself to say it: “I guess.”

                “Yeah, uh, my hair’s black now.” He awkwardly pointed to his shiny head.

                I bit my lip and nodded slightly. “Yeah, I, uh, I see.”

                “Yeah.” He dropped his hand and shoved it into his pockets. He sighed sharply. “Look, why are you really here?” he asked flatly.

                “Why am I here?” I spat repetitively. “My dad works here.”

                He raised an eyebrow. “Well, that would explain why your dad would be here, but not why you’re here.”

                “I said I just wanted to see how you were doing,” I repeated, suddenly getting annoyed.

                “Well, I’m fine, alright?” he said rashly.

                “Oh-kay,” I retorted, angry at his sudden rudeness. “Forgive me for wanting to see how an old friend was doing, God!”

                “I’m fine,” he repeated curtly. “Thanks for being so concerned.”

                I sighed deeply, realizing this conversation was going to go nowhere unless I just spit it out. “Alright, you know what? I’ll tell you why I’m here—”

                “You know, I’d just love to stick around and talk to you,” he spat the word “you.” “But I’ve got other—”

                In a split second, he soured my sweet mood. This wasn’t exactly how I pictured this reunion going. What the hell was Changjo talking about? Byunghun didn’t care for me at all anymore.

                 “God, Byunghun, can you shut up for five seconds and let me talk!?” I scoffed bitterly.

                “Good Lord,” he muttered, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms.

                My fists clenched. “The song you wrote. ‘Disaster.’ It’s about me, isn’t it.” I wasn’t asking him, I was commanding him to admit it.

                “What?” he scoffed. “That’s a little bold of you to declare something totally false like that.”

                 “Look, deny it all you want but I know it’s about me.”

                “Okay,” Byunghun retorted, crossing his arms. “And what makes you think that?”

                “The beginning of your rap says ‘hey there, beautiful’ and don’t lie to me, Byunghun, you said that to me every single time you saw me.”

                “Those are just lyrics,” he barked in defense.

                “Lyrics about ME! God, the whole song is a cry for attention from some heartbroken guy! And you wrote it. It’s about me, and I know it.”

                “That song has nothing to do with you. Look; what happened between you and me is ancient history, alright? It’s over, and it’s been over for months. So believe it or not,” he looked me straight in the eye. “I don’t love you anymore.”

                He might as well have just taken a knife to my chest and stabbed me. That would have been less painful.

                “You know what? I shouldn’t have come here,” I stated, crossing my arms. “Changjo was wrong. He was all wrong. I knew I shouldn’t have come, this is just a complete waste of time--”

                “Changjo?” Byunghun scoffed, chuckling a little. “You’re here because Changjo told you to come?” He threw his head back and laughed wickedly. “Changjo doesn’t know . And apparently, neither do you.”

                I hated him. I ever thought I’d say this, but, I really did I hate him. He was smug and rude and full of not only himself, but bull.

                “Lee Byunghun,” I shouted, “you really are an !”

                “And you’re a !” he shouted back.

                We were glaring at each other. He was silent. I was silent. He just stared at me, deep into my eyes. I suddenly felt as if he was reading everything that had been on my mind. Everything that I had thought of, that I had been through in the past four months. He was reading it all. He read the chapter about the tears, the fights with my parents, the days of school I missed, the grades that dropped, all the sleepless nights, everything. He read about my sudden wakeup-call, cutting my hair off, going to parties, making out with random guys, re-inventing myself, everything. He read every chapter that had been written by our breakup and stored in the library that was my life.

                Suddenly, Byunghun’s hard look softened. His squinted, unbreakably piercing eyes softened and he dropped his gaze from my eyes down to the floor. His tight jaw relaxed. He let out a drawn-out breath like a smoker exhaling. The apples of his cheeks burned a familiar pink color and his Adam’s apple quivered as he swallowed hard. “Alright,” he said finally. “I’m done. I’m so sick of this.”

                I felt my face soften as well, but I was utterly confused. Still boiling with anger, I knit my eyebrows together and opened my mouth to snap a curt retort, but Byunghun cut me off.

                “No, wait a minute and just listen to me, please,” he said in English this time. No more awkward formal language. I felt my heart rate dwindle until it felt like it stopped completely. Satisfied, as if he could feel my body freeze, he continued. “I’m so sick of this. I’m so sick of the fighting. I don’t want to fight with you anymore, Kirin, I really don’t. I know I said some things I probably—no, wait, I know I shouldn’t have said. I don’t want you to think that even for a second I didn’t care about you. You knew how much I loved you, right? Because if you didn’t, then God, I sure didn’t do a good enough job of showing you.”

                I knew exactly what I wanted to say, but no clue how to say it. I wanted to say all the things I’d been dying to tell him since the moment he walked away from me. Three months I’ve held all these emotions inside, thinking if I ignored them they’d eventually go away. And for a period of time, it worked. I tricked myself into thinking I was fine without him. But then why did I sometimes find myself replaying “Angel” until I thought I’d go deaf, late at night while crying myself to sleep? Why did I still wear Byunghun’s black t-shirt to bed every night? Because I wasn’t fine. Never was, never would be until I knew he was mine again. I knew what I wanted to say, but at the same time I had no idea where to begin to tell him everything I was feeling.

                “Then why did you make me feel like I wasn’t good enough for you? Why’d you make me feel like I wouldn’t understand your life as a celebrity because I was just an ordinary person? Why’d you make all these promises and then keep breaking them? Why did you completely forget about me at the movies? Huh?” I found myself asking in a shaky voice.

                “I don’t know, alright, I really don’t!” Byunghun’s whiny voice was quivering. “I wish I could give you a real answer, but I don’t have one. I know a broke a ton of promises. I didn’t mean to, you have to believe me. I guess I just got kind of carried away with being an idol and having such a busy life. But the truth is, you weren’t dating L.Joe. You were dating Byunghun. This,” he pointed to the microphone attached to his face, “is L.Joe. This,” he pinched a few strands of jet black hair, “is L.Joe. This,” he cried desperately, stepping backwards and throwing his arms out at his sides, “is all L.Joe! But this,” he made a fist and pounded it against his chest, right where his heart is. “Is Byunghun. It’s me. And it’s always been me.”

                I had absolutely no idea what to say next. I was speechless. “Does…what does that mean?” I trembled.

                “It means I don’t want you to ever think that just because we have two different lives, we can’t be together. It means my life’s been hell since you walked out of it. I said I was fine, but I’ve been faking it the entire time. I’ve had enough of it already. You’re right; I wrote ‘Disaster’ for you.”

                If this hadn’t been such a serious moment, I would have jumped up in the air, flailing my arms around in a victory dance, an “I-knew-it!” kind of way.

                But I didn’t.

                I took one step closer to Byunghun, placed my hands on his chest, and stepped up on my toes to kiss him. I kissed him good and hard. I kissed him because he looked beautiful. I kissed him because I still loved him. I kissed him because I knew my feelings for Byunghun had never left, and his hadn’t either.

                I closed my eyes, so I couldn’t see his expression. But I didn’t need to. I knew exactly what he was doing. His dark-rimmed eyes had grown twofold and his heart had totally stopped. I felt him jerk back slightly, obviously surprised at my sudden, bold gesture. After a split second, however, I felt him kiss back. I felt him wrap his leather-covered arms around me and hold me there tightly. I didn’t care that my cheek was mashed against the microphone taped to his face; his lips had never tasted sweeter.

                I ended the kiss, jerking my head back and opening my eyes.  I caught Byunghun opening his eyes, his eyebrows arched high on his forehead. “Do…does…do you—”

                I cut him off. “I’m sorry,” I whispered, unable to look him in the eyes. I fiddled slightly with the zipper on his leather jacket. “I’m sorry for whatever I did.”

                “You’re sorry?” Byunghun cried. “I’m the one who left you at the movies. I’m the one who always canceled our dates. I’m the one who broke promises. It’s all my fault and I’m sorry.” He closed his eyes and sighed. He rested his chin on the top of my head.  When he spoke again, his voice was low and breathy. “Never in a million years would L.Joe have time for a girlfriend, but Byunghun has plenty.”

                “I still love you,” I whispered a confession, gripping his jacket for dear life, as if he could vanish at any moment. I squeezed my eyes shut to keep myself from crying.

                “I love you too,” Byunghun whispered. “Always have. Always will.” He took his chin off my head and I tilted my head. I looked into his dark eyes and he looked into mine. We kissed again, like we always did.

                “Oh. My. God!” a voice echoed down the hallway.

                Byunghun and I tore away from each other at the sudden sound. Both of us whipped out head around and saw Chanhee standing at the end of the hallway, his jaw hanging open, but his eyes were smiling.

                Byunghun ran his fingers nervously through the back of his hair, adverting Chanhee’s overly excited expression. His cheeks turned pink and so did mine.

                “No! Don’t stop!” Chanhee cried, throwing up his hands. “I didn’t mean to ruin it!”

                Suddenly Daniel, Minsoo, Changhyun, and Jonghyun piled in the doorway and stuck their heads out in our direction, wondering what Chanhee was so excited about. All four of them gasped at the same time.

                “What’s going on?” Minsoo commanded.

                “NOONA!” Changhyun cried as the boys squeezed through the doorframe and into the hallway.

                “Kirin?” Jonghyun asked, a smile blossoming on his handsome face.

                I smiled and bit my lip. “Hey,” was all I could mutter out; I was smiling too widely.

                “What happened?!” Daniel asked excitedly.

                “Byunghun and Kirin…” Chanhee pointed to us, but he trailed off.

                The four boys gasped.

                “Does this mean what I think it means?” Changhyun asked after a moment of silence.

                Byunghun and I stole glances from each other; we were thinking the exact same thing.

                “BYUNGHYUN AND KIRIN ARE BACK TOGETHER!” Daniel shouted at the top of his lungs. He, C      hanhee, Minsoo, Changhyun and Jonghyun all jumped up in the air, shouting at the top of their lungs as they ran over to attack us. Byunghun and I shouted as we were instantly swarmed by them. Minsoo held Byunghun in a head-lock while Chanhee and Niel ruffled up his perfect hair. Jonghyun and Changhyun threw their arms around me and embraced me tightly, shouting “NOONA, WE MISSED YOU!” The joyful celebration in the hallway echoed throughout the entire second floor of the building.

                “Kiss her, kiss her, kiss her!” Minsoo chanted slowly, urging the other guys to join him. Seconds later the cheering increased in both volume and speed. They pushed Byunghun and me to face each other. After looking at Byunghun’s proud, teary-eyed face for a split second, he cupped his hands around my face and tilted my head up to kiss me again. Our lips met perfectly, like two final puzzle pieces completing the picture. The boys of Teen Top cheered loudly as soon as Byunghun’s lips touched mine. I swear I felt sparks fly.                

                Nothing in the world had ever felt more right than this.

                After a few seconds, we pulled away. Minsoo, Chanhee, Daniel, Changhyun, and Jonghyun were jumped up and down and hollering ecstatically, creating quite the scene.

                But all I could see was Lee Byunghun, whose eyes turned the shape of rainbows.

_♥ ♥ ^{♥ ♥ ♥} ♥ _♥

I'm a er for romance. So of course I had to make them get back together! What kind of writer to do you think I am?~♥ 

But what's this? You think it ended? Nonsense! There's still an excitcing epiologue to finish up the story!~♥