It was 3:14 in the morning. Kyusoon, Minah, Hyerin, Min Neul and I were all sitting in a circle. Min Neul and I sat cross-legged on my bed, Minah was on my desk chair, and Hyerin and Kyusoon were on the floor. After nearly eating everything in sight, dancing around the bedroom and laughing until our abs hurt, it was time to wind down. We turned the music down, so BoA’s “I’m OK” played softly in the background. We even lit some vanilla scented candles to add drama to the atmosphere. Complete with warm pajamas and makeup-less faces, we clutched our pillows in our freshly manicured nails and passed around a plate of chocolate covered strawberries.

                Girl Time had officially begun.

                “It reminds me of a spa in here,” Hyerin marveled, glancing around.

                “I know, it’s so calming,” Kyusoon agreed dreamily.

                Minah nibbled at the chocolate coating on her strawberry. “I’ve never actually been to a spa.”

                “Me neither,” I agreed, finishing up my first strawberry.

                 “For Christmas, my dad got my mom a spa reservation,” Kyusoon spoke up.

                “Really?” asked Hyerin. “That’s so sweet.”

                “I know, right?” Kyusoon smiled. “My dad’s really sweet sometimes.”

                “Why can’t all guys be that sweet?” Minah asked no one in particular.

                “Tell me about it,” I added, picking at a strawberry leaf.

                “I have yet to find the Perfect Man,” Kyusoon sighed. “Someone sweet and caring and charming. That’s all I’m asking for.”

                “That’s all anyone asks for,” Hyerin giggled.

                “True,” Kyusoon smirked. “But how often does anyone find one?”

                “Not often,” Min Neul added quietly, pulling her hands inside the long sleeves of Changjo’s hoodie.

                “I think finding the Perfect Man is a once-in-a-lifetime thing,” Minah declared.

                “Hm, I don’t agree with that.” Kyusoon shrugged. “A guy can be perfect one minute, but over time become not-so-perfect. Then what do you do? Find a new Perfect Man.”

                “What if your Perfect Man stays perfect? Is that possible?” I questioned.

                “Do you think so?” Kyusoon asked me.

                I shrugged. “Yeah, I do.”

                Minah chuckled. “That’s pretty optimistic of you, considering you’ve had three boyfriends and none of them were perfect.”

                “Three boyfriends?” Min Neul asked.

                “Spill!” Hyerin demanded.

                I shrugged and blushed. I sometimes forgot about the three boyfriends I’d had before Byunghun. Maybe that was because I barely counted them as boyfriends; none of them had been serious at all. “Well, the first one was Kwon Jungsu. I think I dated him for about a week. He was my first boyfriend, I guess.” I giggled, searching my brain for the memory of that short-lived relationship. “I think we were…fourteen when we dated. His mom and my mom were friends. I don’t think we even really liked each other, actually. Our moms just wanted to set us up. We didn’t do anything except awkwardly hug goodbye one time.” I laughed at the awkward memory of standing on the sidewalk outside school, Junsu’s bony arms held loosely around me while he muttered a goodbye under his breath. I hadn’t been excited about him at all; in fact, he called me a few days later and told me he liked another girl. I didn’t care. I said okay, we could stay friends. He agreed. We hung up. I didn’t even cry; I cared that little about it.

                “The next one was better. A few months later I started talking to Shin Donghyun. You guys remember him, right?” I asked Minah and Kyusoon.

                They nodded dreamily. I laughed. “Remember how gorgeous Donghyun was? Every girl in our class liked him. He was a total flirt. He asked me out at your party, Minah, remember?”

                Minah nodded again. “I remember that! He went up to me and told me he liked you, but I thought he was going to tell me he liked me.” She laughed and shook her head. “Remember how mad we got at each other?”

                I laughed. “Yeah, I do! We didn’t talk for a whole week!”

                Everyone laughed. Minah nodded again and asked, “How long did you date him for, anyway?”

                “Four months,” I replied. “My longest relationship.”

                Okay, that wasn’t entire true anymore; it was March, and I had been dating Byunghun since July 21^st of last year. Eight months, and what a wonderful eight months it’s been. So far we haven’t had any major blowups, or even any disagreements. I can’t even recall a time when Byunghun and I got into an argument. Even if we do fight, it’s about stupid stuff, like when I accuse him of cheating while playing a board game. Maybe we just meshed well together. Maybe we were just meant to be together.

                 “I had my first kiss with Donghyun,” I recalled with a smile. “We were at a party and a slow song came on so we were awkwardly slow dancing and he kissed me It was so awkward, but kind of sweet.”

                “Awww,” Min Neul nudged my arm with a smile. “Why’d you break up?”

                I shrugged. “There were a bunch of rumors going around that he cheated on me. They weren’t true, but I broke up with him anyway. He was a player, anyway.”

                “What ever happened to Donghyun?” Minah asked curiously.

                “Didn’t he move?” Kyusoon asked.

                “I think so,” I said. “A few months after we broke up, actually.”

                “And you had another boyfriend after him?!” Min Neul asked. “God, unni…”

                Kyusoon, Minah and I burst out laughing. “I’m not as experienced as I sound, trust me!” I laughed. “I only dated the next one for a few weeks. His name was Kim Jongun.”

                “I set them up.” Kyusoon sat up proudly.

                Minah laughed and rolled her eyes. “What a good matchmaker you are,” she said sarcastically, which made the three of us laugh again.

                I turned to Min Neul and Hyerin and began speaking, filling them in. “Jongun was a really sweet guy—he was just the most boring guy on the planet.”

                “He really liked her though,” Kyusoon defended. “But I will agree, he was as dead as a doornail.”

                “Remember his hot older brother?” Minah cried.

                “YES!” Kyusoon and I exclaimed.

                “He looked just like Jaebeom from 2PM,” Minah recalled dreamily.

                “No freaking way!” Min Neul cried.

                “I swear!” I laughed. “He was such a hottie compared to Jongun!”

                “Wait, was he your last boyfriend?” Kyusoon asked after everyone stopped giggling.

                I nodded.

                “That was over a year ago!” Kyusoon cried.

                “You’ve been single for that long?” Minah exclaimed.

                “Yeah, I guess,” I lied, shrugged. “What’s so wrong with that?”

                “That’s a long time to be single,” Hyerin commented.

                “Isn’t it about time you found a new boyfriend?” Kyusoon giggled.

                I shrugged and laughed. “What’s the big deal? Being single is nice. You get to flirt with and crush on whoever you want without restrictions.”

                “Yeah, but how often do you actually flirt with guys?” Minah asked flatly. Kyusoon, Hyerin, and Min Neul cracked up.

                I opened my mouth to defend myself, but Kyusoon cut me off. “We’ve got to find you your Perfect Man.”

                I groaned and dropped my head embarrassingly. As if on cue, Teen Top’s “Angel” came on shuffle. It played softly in the background, matching the calming atmosphere better than Big Bang’s “Number One” did. This song always made me smile; it reminded me of Byunghun. Not just because his band sang it, but because of the lyrics. “Angel” was one of the sweetest songs I’ve ever heard. I felt my heartbeat quicken with every passing second that brought Byunghun’s rap closer.

Kyusoon grunted. “I really thought Jongun was going to be your Perfect Man, Kirin. He was everything you said you wanted.”

                “And what’s that?” Hyerin asked, raising an eyebrow.

                I shrugged, and paused a moment to think. My Perfect Man now was Byunghun, but I couldn’t actually say that. He was honestly everything I wanted. Sweet, thoughtful, kind of awkward, kind of shy, but completely genuine and down-to-earth. Someone who doesn’t try to show off, someone I can comfortable with.  Someone who can make fun of me and I can make fun of him back. Someone who had sometimes be outgoing and sometimes be relaxed. Someone romantic and cheesy like I am.

                Byunghun. He’s my Perfect Man.

                That’s obviously not what I said, though.

                “Someone genuinely sweet. A real gentleman. Someone who will open the car door open for me and give me his jacket when it was chilly outside.” I let my mind wander to Byunghun. Without even thinking, I opened my mouth and softly said, “Someone who will always be there for me.”

                “That’s important,” Minah spoke up thoughtfully. “Every girl deserves to be treated right by her boyfriend. He has to be dependable.”

               I dropped my gaze. I picked at the white polish coating my nails. I couldn’t help but think of Byunghun canceling our date tomorrow night. But he couldn’t help it, right? It wasn’t up to him to cancel it. I couldn’t be mad at him. It wasn’t his fault Teen Top got in a car accident and was supposed to rest. But no matter how much I tried not to feel disappointed, something in the bag of my mind kept nagging at me. If Teen Top was supposed to rest, how come they were still performing every night? Byunghun could spend hours dancing in the studio but he couldn’t sit through a two hour movie with me? That made absolutely no sense to me.

                That was all I could think about at nearly four in the morning. Everyone was asleep on the floor except for Min Neul, who had fallen asleep lying on her stomach on my bed. I was feeling restless, and kept shifting my position, so I hoped I wasn’t disturbing her sleep. I couldn’t help but feel restless, though; my mind wouldn’t calm down.

                Suddenly, Min Neul rolled over. I could see the faint silhouette of Min Neul propped up on her elbow beside me. “Unni,” she whispered. “Are you awake?”

                I let out a sharp sigh. Great. I woke her up. “Yeah,” I confessed. “Did I wake you up?”

                “Nah,” Min Neul whispered. “I’ve been up for a while.”

                “Oh.” I flipped my pillow to the cold side. “Me too.”

                Min Neul was silent for a moment. “Are you okay, Unni?”

                I blinked rapidly. “Yeah. I’m fine.”

                “You thinking about something?”

                I sighed, a small smile on my face. “Always.”

                “Let me guess,” Min Neul whispered. “L.Joe.”

                I didn’t even need to answer. Of course I was thinking about L.Joe.

                Min Neul stretched her arms out and hugged her pillow. She was still wearing Changjo's hoodie. “I’ve been thinking about Changjo, too.”

                I turned to face her. “Do you ever not think about him?” I chuckled.

                “Nope,” Min Neul smiled.

                I chuckled quietly. I heard Hyerin stir in her sleeping bag on the floor, but she remained asleep.

                “Unni?” Min Neul asked. “Can I ask you something?”

                “Anything.”

                “Alright.” Min Neul took a deep breath. “When did you realize you were in love with L.Joe?”

                That was a good question, actually. And probably one I couldn’t answer right away. I guess I’d have to think about it.

                “I don’t know. I guess it’s hard to pick an exact moment. I like to think it was love at first sight, because as soon as I saw him I was instantly attracted to him. I think I loved him but I wasn’t in love with him...if that makes any sense.”

                “Kind of,” Min Neul replied quietly.

                I wasn’t making sense. I rubbed my tired eyes with my hands and thought for a moment. Finally, something came to me. When I spoke again, my voice was low and soft, “I think I realized I loved him when he told me he loved me for the first time. I was afraid of admitting I loved him—not just to him, but to myself—because I didn’t want to fall in love with him. I figured, he’s a celebrity and I’m totally normal. There’s no way this will last. But…I guess I proved myself wrong. So when he said ‘I love you’ the first time, I realized it was okay for me to fall in love with him.”

                Min Neul smiled. “That’s really sweet,” she said before she paused. It was a long pause. When she spoke again, her tone thoughtful and a little hesitant. “I know I haven’t been with Changjo that long, but, I think I’m in love with him.”

                It was my turn to smile. “You’ll know whether or not you’re in love.”

                “It’s just so crazy, you know?” Min Neul propped herself up on her elbows. “I mean, I’m nothing special. I’m just another Changster. And yeah, I dreamed about meeting Changjo and falling in love with him and marrying him and all that good stuff…but I never actually expected it to happen. I mean, he likes me. Changjo actually likes me. How crazy is that?” Suddenly she stopped. She laughed and shook her head. “What am I telling you this stuff for, anyway? You know exactly how I’m feeling.”

                I closed my eyes for a second and breathed in deeply. “I know all about it. Trust me.”

                Min Neul glanced thoughtfully at me. “Byunghun called you, didn’t he.”

                “When?” I asked.

                “When you got up and left,” Min Neul clarified. “You know, when we were painting our nails? It was because Byunghun called you, wasn’t it?”

                I sighed deeply. “Yeah, it was.”

                “Is everything okay?” Min Neul asked thoughtfully.

                I bit my lip. I had to tell someone. I had to tell her.

                “Okay, you know how Byunghun promised he’d take me on a real date? Well we were planning on going to the movies tomorrow. Just me and him. But then the accident happened, and Byunghun canceled the date. He said it was because they need to rest after the accident and stuff, but I can’t help but be disappointed. I totally understand that he’s an idol, and he got in an accident, but he said he was fine, right? He’s fine. He even performed today. And he’s performing tomorrow! That’s not exactly ‘resting’, right? I don’t know…I guess I just don’t see why he canceled our date when he knew this was so important to me. To us.” I sighed and shook my head desperately. “Am I being selfish?”

                Min Neul shook her head immediately. “Unni, you’re not being selfish. He made a promise to you, and he didn’t keep it. You have the right to be disappointed. Idol or not, he’s still your boyfriend and he still has to treat you well.”

                “I know, I know…but…I don’t think it’s fair of me to be mad at Byunghun. It’s not his fault, after all.”

                Min Neul shrugged. “I don’t think there’s ever a good excuse as to why a promise was broken. But you should give him another chance. You can go out together some other time when it’s a little less hectic.” She cocked her head to the side and leaned closer to me. “But, can you promise me something, Unni?”

                “Anything.”

                “Idol-boyfriend or not, you still deserve to be treated right by him. Don’t settle for less than what you deserve. Okay?”

                A small smile crossed my lips. “Okay. I promise.”

                “Good.” Min Neul pulled her sleeping bag up to her chin. “And just because Byunghun can’t keep a promise doesn’t mean you can’t.”

- - - - - -

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