Night-time doubts would Yongguk call what he sometimes had at three am in the morning when he was alone in the recording studio and could not work on any song because he had too much on his mind. Sometimes he wonders if he had made the right decision. Sometimes he thinks about life before he had been an idol. He joined the company because they had promised him to let him compose his own music, making his own style of songs, but sometimes he wonders if the group was ready for it. The songs that he made where not necessary the songs the masses liked and it were not the songs that would let them gain a lot of fans. Everybody around him told him that the group was doing well and that it was just the beginning of their career but sometimes he thought he could have had more freedom in what he did if he would not be an idol. He had seen what the responses where as he posted pictures of art and different kind of music. Some of the fans overreacted and interpreted things into it he never wanted to express. Sometimes at night when he was alone in the studio he doubted that a life as an idol was the right kind of choice and he hated to have these kind of thoughts because he was the leader of the group and as a leader he should be the one without any doubts.

He put on some slow and soothing jazz music and a blank piece of paper and tried to find inspiration for some lyrics but his mind would wander off all the time thinking if he was a good leader for the group. He thought that he might not talk enough with the members. He was never good with talking and had been quite surprised how Himchan had influenced him to open up a lot more. But he thought it might still be not enough. If he was alone with Daehyun there always was this awkward silence and he never knew how to break it. He did not really mind at all but wondered if Daehyun did.

He stared at the paper that was full with some drawings but not a single word was written on it. Frustrated he crumbled the paper and threw it into the trash can. At nights like this it was impossible for him to be productive. He heard that someone opened the door. He turned around and saw a tired looking Himchan come in. His eyes were puffy and he was yawning.

“Its late Bang,” he said.

“Yeah, why are you still up?” he asked him. He saw that Himchan was massaging his right hand with his left.

“I practices janggu and forgot time,” he answered with sleepy voice.

“Oh.” He admired Himchan’s passion for perfecting his abilities.

“What are you working at?” he asked and took a seat at the small black couch at the back of the room.

“Nothing,” he admitted.

“Well, that’s something knew,” Himchan said.

“I just don’t know if I have the right approach,” he told him and sat down beside him, taking his right hand into his and started massaging it. He noticed that Himchan had closed his eyes.

“We’re talking about music,” Himchan objected.

“So?”

“There is no right or wrong approach when it comes to music. There is only making music or not making music,” he argued.

“But it’s about our first album. I can’t just write whatever I like to,” he told him.

“So you’re thinking about doing something more mainstream?” Himchan asked. He wondered if he heard disappointment in Himchan’s voice or if he was just imagining things because it was late at night.

“I just want it to do well,” he tied to explain.

“Why are you afraid it wouldn’t? Everything worked well, there is nothing to be scared off.” He knew Himchan wanted to reassure him and it somehow always worked.

“Because it would be less our style and some fans might not like that.”

“I think you got it wrong. Even if the song would not be ours we could still give it our own color. It’s like playing a song someone else composed. Why do you think some musicians get fame and recognition while others don’t, even if they are playing exactly the same note by note?” Himchan asked him.

“So what would you like our first album to be like?” he asked Himchan instead of giving him an answer.

“Hmm.. It should be a sentiment. Like a flavor of everything B.A.P could be like. Bang, it’s late already can't we discuss it another day?” he asked.

“Sure go to the dorm,” he told him.

“You should go, too,” he said and opened his eyes again.

“I’m coming in a moment,” he said. He could see that Himchan was not happy about going home alone. He knew Himchan was a scaredy-cat when it was dark outside but there was something floating in his mind and he knew the idea would just disappear if he didn’t write it down right now. 

“Don’t come too late,” Himchan said and walked out the door.

“Yeah,” he said even if there was no one in the room.

He thought about what Himchan said of the first sentiment of B.A.P. He went back to the desk and looked for the booklet in which he scribbled all his thoughts and ideas and after a while of drawing some weird patterns he wrote on top of the page the words first sensibility.