Before I could say something or at least open my mouth, I was left alone sitting in the taco restaurant. My mind was filled with thoughts buzzing and whirling around. It was a state I didn´t appreciate at all and one of my thoughts resurfaced – anger. I felt angry at Donghae for leaving me here all vulnerable and abandoned but I was also angry at myself for feeling hurt and alone. Since when was the brunette my babysitter? Lee Hyukjae, you are doomed.

After I managed to push away those feeling I started analysing the situation. It seems like Donghae is often meeting with me instead of his friends lately. And apparently the gang is getting tired of his behaviour. Not only that, I´m also on the black list, not worth joining the group itself. Am I causing Donghae some troubles? Is it because I made him study? Would they hurt him because of me? They wouldn´t, would they? He is the leader. But that Kangin guy looked pissed. .

I stood up and ran out of the restaurant. I looked around in a poor attempt to spot the gang but it was obviously useless, they were gone for some time already. I pushed my brain to remember all the stuff Donghae has told me. The boy has always been talkative and tended to talk a lot and about unimportant things too. For me it was enough just to hear his deep voice and feel his presence so I didn´t really focus on the information he said. Now I was blaming myself for this and kept trying to remember.

After about ten minutes and three blocks further I finally thought of something. Donghae once told me to avoid going through the backyard of the sport centre, my favourite shortcut on the way from the market, especially at night because it´s one of their group´s hangout places. I decided to try my luck and headed towards the market.

It was almost eight o´clock when I arrived to the sport centre. I slowed down and continued quietly onto the backyard where I could already hear some noises. There on a bench hidden under an oak tree were sitting three guys, one more was leaning against the oak. Donghae was standing in front of them like a little boy while being scolded. I swiftly sprinted from the well-lit entrance of the backyard to the dark shade of another oak tree, much closer to the guys. I made sure that no one would hear nor see me and crouching behind the tree I eavesdropped.

“Do you hear yourself, Donghae?” Kangin yelled. “He´s an enemy, an obstacle, useless! You´re better and stronger than him, why stay with a guy like that? He´s scary and a freak, you´ll end up in a problem because of him,” Kangin´s voice sounded more pleading than angry.

I knew it, I was right. I´m just a burden for Donghae. I came to his life, bringing Eunhyuk and all my mess with me. What did I thought? I felt dejected.

“See? I told you, Hyukjae,” Eunhyuk´s voice echoed in the darkness. I was startled but managed to keep my voice quiet. Now, that´s great. I really didn´t need Eunhyuk here.

“I told you not to meddle with other humans, didn´t I? Donghae´s gonna lose all his precious friends because of you and you think you´re worth it? You aren´t, Hyukjae!”

I was already shaking and it became even worse when Eunhyuk put his hand on my shoulder. I felt my stomach churn and cold sweat raise on my forehead. I gulped but held back, still remembering that I was supposed to be hiding. Eunhyuk didn´t need to hide and so he continued when he felt that I was cornered.

“Donghae doesn´t need a friend like you. He doesn´t want to study and he doesn´t have time to take care of you. Are you a child, Hyukjae? You aren´t! You had to grow up early so you think that you can go back to your childhood now? Hyukjae, remember this: only you and I are supposed to be together. Not Donghae, not your parents, just Hyukjae and Eunhyuk!”

Oh my God! Help me somebody, please! I pleaded in my head, sweating like in sauna, holding my breath. I kept clutching the back of the tree so hard that my fingers got scratched but I couldn´t feel the pain nor the blood on my nails because I had something else to watch. And no, it wasn´t Eunhyuk, who caught my attention. It was Donghae who after like twenty minutes got finally a chance to speak up.

“Okay guys, calm down, will you? I´m not saying that I don´t want to spend time with you anymore. You are still my buddies, my not related brothers. But Hyukjae is different. He isn´t just a simple friend. I really wanted to crush him, to make his scared of me, to make him succumb to us but I couldn’t because I got to know about him by chance,” Donghae explained.

“What does it mean by chance? Like you found some secret?” A small guy, I believe his name was Ryeowook, asked genuinely. And Donghae nodded.

And that´s what scared me so much. Even Eunhyuk stopped swearing and focused on Donghae. We were rarely synchronized like this and that the reason of our cooperation at the moment was Donghae, was absolutely shocking. Donghae must not tell our secret or both of our fates would become very complicated. If they found out, Donghae´s friends or anyone else, they wouldn´t stay still. They could try and find a reason how to eliminate Eunhyuk or they could laugh and make my life a hell. It was fifty percent chance for one of us to suffer and neither of us wanted to take the risk. The grip on my shoulder loosened.

“You know, Hyukjae doesn´t have an easy life-“

“Donghae!” I announced my arrival in a not very cool way, partially it was caused by Eunhyuk who hurriedly shoved me towards the guys. I stumbled from behind the tree, not forgetting to trip over my own legs. At least I didn´t fall down. Like that I managed to get to Donghae, all their eyes on me. Ugh, and what to do now? I stood there frozen. I didn´t know, what I was supposed to say because my only reason for revealing myself was to stop Donghae´s speech. When my mission was successful, I thought of disappearing again but that wouldn´t work, would it?

“Hyuk? What the hell are you doing here?” Donghae brought my attention to him. I bit my lip but then decided to tell him the truth. I gestured him to come closer and when he did I leaned closer and whispered into his ear.

“I was worried about you and then Eunhyuk sent me to stop you in case you wanted to talk about him,” I made a step back and quietly apologised. Donghae seemed conflicted and his eyebrows were knitted together. For the first time I thought, that the brunette actually could seem scary to some. I became nervous that he would send me away or yell at me. I wasn´t scared of Donghae personally but of the possibility to be abandoned by him for real. I brought my hand to scratch my neck, a gesture I do when nervous, but I was stopped before my hand could reach it.

“Hyukjae! You´re bleeding!” Donghae suddenly said and held my wrists and, indeed, my hands were red from the hug I gave the oak tree some moments ago. “Sit here, I´ll treat it,” Donghae added and pushed me to sit between Kyuhyun and Ryeowook. Yesung was forced to stand up and join Kangin near the tree. No one dared to speak, probably confused by the whole situation.

Donghae pulled a handkerchief and a few band aids from his pockets. I have to say, that he carries them with him every time we are to meet because I rarely show up uninjured. Donghae sighed and gently wiped the blood and stuck on the bands with monkeys imprinted on them. Then he stood up and ruffled my hair with a gentle smile on his lips. I smiled too, it became much easier these days to smile and I even laughed a few times. I felt at ease with Donghae even with bunch of punks surrounding me and Eunhyuk close in the shadows. I know, I´m being careless but I can´t help it. It feels like my body is waking up from a long sleep, like my heart is melting the ice that consumed it long time ago.

“What the hell, the creep is smiling?!” Kyuhyun suddenly exclaimed and the attention of everyone was on my lips and ugly gums that showed up. I became embarrassed and brought my bandaged hand to cover them. And then Kyuhyun laughed, followed by Ryeowook and Donghae.

“I said it´s Hyukjae, not a freak, you brat!” Donghae gave the tall boy a playful pat on the head. Kyuhyun just grinned but I knew, he silently agreed. Ryeowook then asked me about my hair, how often I bleach it and Kyuhyun told me to go for blond next time. Apparently I would look like a white monkey that way. Donghae said that any colour would suit me, even blue. I didn´t want to disagree.

We talked for a bit longer and it was strange to talk to other people so simply like this. Before Donghae appeared, I had been conversing only with my silver monster and now the number rose to three humans! I was so happy that I didn´t even realise that Kangin and Yesung disappeared long ago.  I wanted to chat more but Donghae wanted to go home so I would go part way with him.

“Sorry for worrying you and leaving you alone there,” Donghae said when we were on our way home.

“It´s okay, I was careless too,” I murmured but raised my head when Donghae patted my back.

“I wouldn´t tell them, Hyuk,” he smiled.

“Thanks,” I answered only when it was the time for us to part ways already. I gave him another smile before I dived into the darkness of the park in front of my house. My mood was great and I even hummed a random song while scrolling through the alley with old trees and rusty lamps.

Suddenly I heard something rustle and a shadow hide behind the trees. Eunhyuk? But he told me that he would give me a break today since we survived our secret being found out. Another sound and I was already sure that this couldn´t be Eunhyuk´s work. Since I have my personal monster I have never been scared either of wild animals nor dangerous humans. Nothing compares to the dark aura emitting from Eunhyuk´s dark soul-less eyes. That´s why I simply halted my step and turned towards the dark shadows in the woods.

“What do you want with me Kangin, Yesung?” I said in a low voice, my face hardened. Yes, I had an idea of who might want to visit me. I wasn´t stupid and although I didn´t pay much attention to the two guys, I knew better than to let my guard down around them.

“You really are a freak, you know that?” Kangin´s voice was darkened by the low laugh that came out with his comment. Yesung also came out but didn´t say anything, his expression showed it all – hate.

“Do you plan to negotiate or will just beat me up?” I said daringly, my expression blank.

“Neither, Lee Hyukjae. We are going to simply get rid of you. If your poor soul decides to cling to your ugly body, do us a favour and pretend to be dead, hidden in a mental hospital or something,” Kangin said in an amused tone. But it wasn´t funny, just as it wasn´t funny, when he grabbed my shoulders giving Yesung an opening. I was pretty sure of what was about to come but didn´t move an inch. Yesung pulled out a small knife and was about to stab me when it happened.

There were two reasons why I wasn´t scared of any real danger. First was that the comparison of fear caused by Eunhyuk and by people was so unfair that I just simply couldn´t bring myself to be scared. The second reason was even scarier, thought. Eunhyuk is a part of me, so if I die he dies with me. Eunhyuk wouldn´t allow me to die, never. He likes to bring me on the verge of death by himself but he would never let anyone else seriously harm me. I am being protected by the monster and these are the situations in which I wonder, if he isn´t real after all.

A bony silver arm clad in black came from behind my body and caught Yesung´s hand. The knife was snatched away and the wrist was turned to the side in a speed that caused it to crack and bring out a pained cry from Yesung. The dark haired boy went down clutching his hand and crying. Then the second silver arm emerged and Kangin´s huge palms left my shoulders only to be thrown away. As Kangin stumbled backwards the silver-black monster launched and bit his arm with his sharp black teeth like a shark. Kangin let out a shriek and tears streaked out from his eyes. He looked at me terrified and ran after Yesung, who was already staggering away, as fast as he could while holding his bleeding arm.

No one knows how it feels to be bitten by the monster more than me. It´s like thousands of needles being pricked into your flesh. But I didn´t want to pity them, especially not when Eunhyuk came back to me and wrapped his long skinny arms around me. His breath smelled of blood and I shivered when he whispered to my ear.

“You are mine, Lee Hyukjae. You are not to die until I say so.”

___________________________

Okay, two more chapters. I didn´t count well the last time. Thanks for reading!

mc: i went to super show too !
hyuk: i also went ! ahh super junior are really handsome
kyu: the most handsome is kyuhyun right ?

hyuk: if i were to be born again i still want to be sj member. and then i want to be eunhyuk’s fan
kyu: then you won’t be born again