The longest chapter i've ever written. No, wait. Second longest. 

Absolutely confusing. 

Absolutely important. 

Aboely boring. 

And absolutely terrifying. XD

ENJOY!

Chapter 9:

Andy entered the foyer, putting down his school backpack. He then slid his shoes off and walked towards the living room where the stepdad was watching some daytime drama and drinking beer. Andy crouched down to the floor and started watching it with him.

“This is a funny show.” The boy said.

“Mmm…” the stepdad sneered and didn’t focus on to the boy’s laugh.

“Dad,” Andy turned his head and the man stared at him. “Where’s Eric hyung?”

“Out.” He said and sat up on the sofa. “Andy…you look like your mom…I loved your mom.”

Andy blinked his eyes when the man got up from the sofa and started advancing him in slow pace. The boy didn’t know what was coming and so he just smiled. Abruptly the man kneeled down and stared at him, huge hands getting onto his small legs.

“You look very much like your mother.” The man said.

“Thank you.” The boy replied, grinning childishly.

“The same smile.” The man whispered. “The same eyes.” His hands got onto the hem of the shirt. “The same nose.” They slid in. “The same mouth.” And the man pushed the boy onto the floor, not minding the terrified scream that the boy let out from his throat.  

Eric opened his eyes.

His head was pounding.

But a voice made the pain less excruciating.

His brother had returned from school.

“Andy ya,” Eric grinned widely and sat up on his bed.

He was sick. He had been sick since the morning and that is why he didn’t go to school. The stepdad knew nothing about the illness and just spent the day as usual. Eric shifted his legs and ran to his bedroom door, pushing it open eagerly, when he heard the cute voice talking.

He stepped out.

He entered the corridor.

He advanced the voices.

He halted his steps.

Andy was crying.

The much bigger man on top of him roamed his hands on the small figure and laughed like a maniac. He kept terrible noise: moaned, sighed and roared.

Eric stared.

He was petrified.

His body couldn’t move a millimeter.

He was frozen.

And he couldn’t close his eyes.

“Dad…” Andy sniffed, eyes closed, yelping when the hands pulled the shirt off of him and led his fingers onto the rigidity that had escaped from the ed jeans.

“Touch it…” the man told.

Andy shook his head.

The man slapped him.

“Touch it.” He said under his teeth.

The tears were so huge that Andy’s whole face was wet. Reluctantly the boy’s fingers got onto the unfamiliar thing and stayed there. Eric’s pupils shrank. His hands were jolting and the ears burned like  fire. But he couldn’t move. He couldn’t.

“Dad…I…I…I don’t know what to do.” Andy cried.

The man slapped him again, the tears intensifying.

“Your mother never talked like that.” He growled. “Shut the up and TOUCH IT!”

Eric flinched.

His whole body was covered with goosebumps of anger, if something like that existed. In some point of the commanding stepdad, Eric’s eyes became teary and the drops went through his cheeks. The man didn’t notice the older son, nor did Andy.

He was there.

He was there.

And he did nothing.

Eric’s eyes flew open. The sweat on his face was fresh and the amount was incredible when his trembling hands cupped onto it. His breathing had ragged in the middle of his sleep and the panting started now. He turned to his side, but Andy wasn’t there.

Oh, yes. He had locked the door.

Eric felt the panic rising in his chest. The panic attacks he hardly ever got. He got them when he couldn’t relax, calm down. The breathing came high pitched, fast. Eric began to hyperventilate. He didn’t have asthma, unlike Andy, but those fast, rapid inhales, almost resembled it. That’s why they had bought two inhalers after Eric had gotten enough money.

Eric inhaled once, twice.

He longingly looked at the door as if wishing that his brother would suddenly know how to unlock the door outside. But inside Eric’s heart, he hoped that Andy would understand why he had locked the door and hadn’t let him in.

He didn’t want to see that boy tearing himself apart and changing to something he isn’t. Eric didn’t want that.

His back met the bed again.

All of it was his fault.

Andy never blamed him. He always blamed himself.

But no, Eric had seen the dad touching the boy. He had seen everything.

“If I…had…” Eric shook his head, preventing the tears to fall. “…that wouldn’t…have…hap…pened.”

He closed his eyes.

But as if not being tired at all (which clearly wasn’t the case), he didn’t feel like sleeping. He needed the brother to sleep next to him. He needed that tranquil voice to speak to him so he would slowly doze off and the words of calmness and familiarity would eventually tune out. Eric needed that. But…Andy wasn’t the Andy he knew anymore. 

He wasn’t the abused little boy he knew.

A tear crammed through Eric’s eyelid.

He could’ve just stopped thinking about Andy. But if he did that, something else invaded his mind. Not something but someone. Eric instantly regretted to even say that name out loud, but it was remarkable what those hands had felt like on his skin…on his scars from the morbid past. Before Eric noticed, a smile crept onto his lips.

He never smiled.

Or he had smiled couple of times, but it was before all the happenings in the past. And as soon as he noticed he was smiling, it fell.

He didn’t feel like smiling: not at all.

He didn’t feel like sleeping either.

But he didn’t want to think about Andy.

Nor Hyesung.

Even thinking of the name, caused the chest turn painfully heavy. The heart slammed against it and kept loud voice in Eric’s ears.    

It was a new feeling.

But Eric had heard from his fellow bodyguards how they had felt after leaving home. They had lost their one true loves and they had missed them.

Was this feeling the same?

“No,” Eric mumbled and turned to his side. “It…cannot…be.”

Andy looked tired when he stepped into the kitchen. The phone in his hands, he sat down onto the chair, lifted his hood onto his head and started chatting with the culprit, Eric knew was Sa Rah. Two weeks had gone so fast. And Andy was excited about next day’s meeting. He didn’t smile though and all of it was Eric’s fault. He knew very well that Andy didn’t smile because of him.

“How…sleep?” Eric asked.

Andy looked at him nonchalantly. “Fine…” he replied, turning to look at the phone again. “You?”

“Very well…” the older man told.

Both of them knew that they were lying. Though they hadn’t spoken in two long weeks but argued occasionally (which explained Eric’s point of how much Andy had changed), they still couldn’t be quiet. They needed to speak.

“Are you going to protect Shin Hyesung today?” Andy interrogated.

“Yes.” Eric sipped his coffee.

“Sa Rah is his fan…and so am I…so,” The younger lad said. “…if you could use your connections and get me that autograph?”

Eric chuckled. “And…what do…I get?”

“Whatever you want.” Andy mumbled, smiling to the message he received. “Except me breaking up with Sa Rah. That won’t happen.”

The bodyguard smacked the mug down, startling the young guy.

“Fine.” Eric muttered. “I will…think of…something.”

Andy nodded seriously.

Yes, two weeks had gone too fast. Andy had changed. Kim Sa Rah was like a drug to him. And to Eric that meant late working hours. He didn’t want to see how the girl slowly poisoned his little brother’s mind. It was good, of course, that Andy wasn’t the same timid boy he had been. But, to Eric the scars on his body weren’t something he should be proud of. He hated to see Andy taking pictures of them, putting them to some website, showing them to the unfamiliar girl.

It wasn’t healing.

It was showing off.

Andy wasn’t proud of them.

His eyes told more than thousand words.

He despised them.

Eric knew it but it was so ing frustrating that Andy didn’t understand it.

Or he did, but the mask on his face was too covering.

“Have fun…with Shin Hyesung.” Andy wished.

“And you…with your…girlfriend.” Eric said, tint of retort in his voice. “And…do your…homework.”

Andy put the phone down and looked at the receding back.

“Yes…hyung.”

Hyesung hadn’t slept all night. For two weeks, he hadn’t been able to close his eyes after the incidents from earlier week. Jin Kyo’s whole suspicious and sudden death had been keeping him awake with all the fussing from his father and other people. But they had still put the boy into a sleep, and given their farewells.

Other thing that kept alluring him was the moment with the bodyguard. The sort of a hot moment that had had nothing to do with hot except that his senses had totally shut down and the want to feel the bodyguard’s lips against his skin had intensified when Eric’s hand had got onto his waist. The warm feeling on his neck was hard to describe, but it felt extremely good.

Hyesung opened his eyes and took the mirror from the night stand. Had his cheeks always been so red? Had they always looked glossy?

Also, Hyesung couldn’t forget the scars on the man’s body. They looked deep, but not deep enough to be dangerous. They looked deep enough to be painful. The singer bit his lower lip. Had Eric done something where he was being cut? Were those scars something he had gotten in action?

“Why are you thinking about him, Hyesung ah?” The man questioned himself, feeling his whole body burning. “He isn’t interesting.” He concluded.

The alarm clock rang, but for nothing, since Hyesung already was awake. But he nonchalantly switched it off and got up from the bed, choosing the day’s outfit. He tried to not think about the bodyguard who was already downstairs possibly vigilantly scanning his surroundings. Somehow Hyesung’s heartbeat rose too much. He patted his chest and scolded it.

It helped, a bit, until he got to the stairs and those sad, dark orbs met his.

“Jin?”

“Hyung…”

Hyesung walked down. “What is it?”

“I miss him.”

“We all do, Jin ah.” Hyesung pursed his lips. “He misses us too.”

Junjin nodded, eyes glossy. “I love him.”

“I know.” Hyesung the man’s cheek. “But he would love it if you moved on.”

Junjin bit his quivering lip and let the hot tears drain. Hyesung quickly put his arms around him and hugged hard, not letting the sadness take Junjin from him. Then the taller guy pulled off and inhaled deeply.

“I’m gonna take off.” He said. “I need to see Jin Kyo.”

Hyesung sighed. “You’ve been there every day. Don’t you have job to do?” He interrogated, but to his harm, Junjin shook his head.

“I took a vacation.” He responded. “They understand.”

The ex-bodyguard flashed a weak smile and walked out of the apartment, holding his bag on his shoulder. Hyesung’s chest was clenching. How come the cheery, happy and smiley Junjin had suddenly changed to something so sad? Of course he had lost his lover and maybe fallen into darkness to eternity, but Junjin needed to move on. He had been in the hospital for two weeks now. It didn’t help him. He needed something else to think about; something to make him forget that maybe his life isn’t that awful after all.  

As soon as Junjin had left, Eric emerged.

Hyesung’s heart jumped.

“Hi,” He greeted as seriously as he could.

“Hello,” Eric replied. “What’s with…Junjin?”

Hyesung became sadder. “He…has a bit hard time now. But I know that he will get something else to think about.” He explained. “What about you? Are you…fine?”

Eric nodded. “Yes. And…you?”

“I am excellent.” Hyesung smiled.

After two weeks it was still weirdly awkward. Well, Eric hadn’t practically Hyesung’s neck but sort of like pecked which was more romantic. Hyesung shook his head immediately. Nothing is romantic when man does it to him. No, no. It wasn’t romance.

“I have a meeting today…” Hyesung pouted while contemplating. “…I have more meetings and then I will see Minwoo…Ohh, Eric-sshi,” He suddenly looked at the man. “Is it possible if you…today…would be here while I am sleeping?”

Eric startled and he was pretty sure the burning sensation on his cheeks was blush. “Why?”

“Well, Junjin walks in his sleep so he might walk into Jin Kyo’s room but that makes him depressed so I don’t want him to do it.” Hyesung explained. “So, you’d be here…protecting him…too.”

“Yes,” Eric nodded. “Yes, Sir.”

Hyesung grinned contently.

“Great.”

Minwoo was clingy; touchy; intrigued. He was happy; carefree; small. He was something Eric hardly ever met. He was…amazing.

“So who is this?” Minwoo interrogated, moving around Eric. “Someone new?”

Hyesung nodded. “Junjin was resigned. And I got Eric as a reward.” He answered. “But Eric isn’t why I am here, right?”

Minwoo blinked his eyes before he understood what Hyesung meant. “Ah, yes! I totally forgot.” He grinned, those eyes squinting cutely. “You are here to hear my newest song.”

Hyesung frowned. “That’s it? To hear your new song?” he asked.

“Yeah! I need an opinion.” Minwoo laughed and put the cd into the player. The song started playing quickly, the beats and the lyrics entered Hyesung’s and Eric’s ears. Hyesung tapped his feet along with the song and smiled. “So, how was it?” Minwoo questioned.

“It’s very fast and awesome. Very much like you, Minwoo.” Hyesung praised.

Eric nodded when Minwoo turned to look at him.

“Tell me,” The short man moved closer. “What kind of music do you like?”

The bodyguard blinked his eyes rapidly before he glanced at the small man. Minwoo looked expectant. He really wanted to know? Eric shrugged and the man pursed his lips. “Come on, there must be something you like!”

Eric sighed. “Rap…I like rap…” he mumbled.

Minwoo clapped his hands together and laughed ominously. “He likes rap! I knew it! He likes it but doesn’t like ballads!” he babbled.

Hyesung slammed him. “Not all love my music.”

Eric cringed. “Ballads…not…bad.” He suddenly said.

And Hyesung stopped slamming.

“Hey, have you ever heard Hyesung’s voice?” Minwoo abruptly blurted out. “I have his newest cd. I can play it to you if you want.”

“No, you—“

But Minwoo had already slid the cd into the player. The faint, husky and absolutely beautiful voice played with the tunes of piano and guitar. Eric never was a fan of ballads but good God how his whole body felt like a feather when Hyesung’s voice went high and got back down, the harmony staying as it was.

“See? Everyone loves your voice.” Minwoo complemented. “Even someone who loves rap.”

Hyesung was blushing.

“Did you have anything else to say?” He snapped. “Or did you do this just to use my time?”

Minwoo sealed his lips and put the cd into its package. He then jumped onto his desk and cupped his face, staring at the two guys in front of him.

“So, are you two together?”

Hyesung marched out of the company, arms crossed onto his chest. He was embarrassed and hardly waited Eric to get onto his track, as he mumbled something about mischievous bastard. Minwoo hadn’t gotten any replies to his question, but the hand mark on his cheek might have been enough for the upcoming week.

“Sir,” Eric suddenly spoke.

Hyesung stopped and turned around. “What?”

“Your shoelaces…open.”

The little prince lowered his gaze at his shoes and sighed. He then walked towards some outside stairs and sat down onto wide leverage and began to tie the shoelaces up. Eric stood in front of Hyesung. It was cold but Hyesung had worn himself warmly: warm enough to survive on that ground for couple of minutes. Eric’s arms were behind his back as he looked around, scanning the area quickly before he shifted his head at Hyesung whose long fingers were now making a ribbon onto the shoes.

“Ready, Sir?” Eric asked.

“No.” Hyesung replied coldly (still pissed after recalling Minwoo smiling smugly). “Now that I could sit down, I want to cherish this moment and just relax before we get back to the misery.” He looked up, pleadingly. “Can’t we just…relax?”

Those sad eyes, Eric pondered.

He sighed. “Very…well.” The bodyguard responded, sitting down next to the young master.

“What the hell are you doing?” Hyesung snapped softly.

“Resting.” Eric answered briefly. “What? You…said…relax.”

Hyesung chuckled. “You can do what you please…I don’t care.”

They sat in silence, not minding about it. It was awkward and antsy but Hyesung didn’t care. The coldness invaded his body slowly as his hands started rubbing the upper arms. Eric noticed it, and began to remove his jacket which he then curled around the master who reluctantly received it.

“Take it.”

“No!”

“Take…it. You’ll…freeze.”

Hyesung looked at Eric and those serious eyes were piercing through his. It was painful how sad those orbs looked like; so Hyesung let the other man put the jacket on him.

“I know you didn’t like gratitude…but…thank you, Eric-sshi,” Hyesung smiled. “For everything you’ve done so far.”

 Eric’s heartbeat was audible, he knew it as he responded, “You’re…welcome.”

The door was opened by Junjin, who had been crying for the umpteenth time. No one blamed him though, since Hyesung cried too; when no one saw. He hugged his pillow and wetted it with his salty tears. He had cried several times in the toilet when there still were Jin Kyo’s favorite shampoos and soaps; though he had hidden them from Junjin.

“Jin ah,” Hyesung said sadly. “Sleep.”

Junjin nodded, those teary eyes avoiding looking at them. Eric wanted to say something encouraging, but there was nothing he could say to make that older-than-Andy-by-a-year guy feel a bit better. He was so sorry. He had known Junjin in the school and he had always been strong from the outside but softy from the inside. Always. As long as Eric remembered.

“Hyung,” Junjin murmured. “Let me sleep in his room once.”

“No, Jin…I can’t…” The older man said and frowned devastated. “…Eric is here to protect us.”

Junjin looked at the taller man next to Hyesung and bowed his head, comprehending that there was no way he could sneak into the room at night; not like on the other nights. He flashed a smile that meddled with anxiousness and anger but shook it off when Hyesung yawned and said he will go to bed.

“Please,” he however whispered to the bodyguard. “…if he starts crying, do anything to comfort him. Anything.”

Eric nodded.

As soon as the young master was upstairs, Junjin lifted his knees onto his stomach and the tears crammed through his eyes. Eric sighed and contemplated with what to do. He walked next to the younger lad, sat down onto his current bed (the sofa) and put his arm over his shoulder. Junjin startled and turned his head to stare at him jolted, but Eric said nothing. He just eyed the emptiness in front of them and tapped the guy’s shoulder.

Junjin was no longer crying but his eyes were still leaking.

“Cry…I won’t…tell…him.”

When Hyesung felt like someone was watching him, he opened his eyes and saw a man taking pictures of him. The camera flashed and the man was smirking though he was wearing the mask on his mouth and the glasses on his eyes. But Hyesung knew that he was smirking. The man lowered the camera and stared at him. The beanie prevented Hyesung to recognize a bit of the stalker and reveal his face. But as if being too frightened, he couldn’t think of anything else.

When the stalker began to get closer, Hyesung shuddered under the warm blanket. He shivered thoroughly and slid farer, holding his breathing. The man was smiling no more as he lifted his hand and touched Hyesung’s face. The stalker’s hands moved on the cheeks, the nose, the forehead, the jawline and the lips forcefully. From the face, the hands dropped onto the exposed clavicles, on to the chest and tardily got lower when Hyesung let out a whimper that was louder than the stalker had thought.

In that moment, the door was kicked open from the lock.

Hyesung gasped when Eric’s was pointing at the man, who escaped from the balcony and vanished into the darkness. The bodyguard strode towards Hyesung and cupped his shocked face, calming him down by rubbing his cheeks.

“You…you…you’re okay?” He asked almost inaudibly as if he had been embarrassed.

Hyesung nodded and steadied his eyes at him, the breathing slowly regulating.

Silence.

Eric’s fingers stopped moving.

Hyesung’s hands fondled the hem of the suit jacket.

Eric’s gaze dropped onto Hyesung’s mouth for fraction of a second.

Hyesung let his just regulated heartbeat rise to 150 as he caught the hem into his hands and Eric’s breathing hitched. Hyesung stared at those big, secretive eyes and lifted his hands onto Eric’s collar. The fear was gone.

Eric angled his head and advanced the other.

Hyesung’s heartbeat was so fast that when it skipped a beat, it hurt. He felt stubble touching his jawline and faint touch on his lips, anticipating Eric’s to touch his. Hyesung waited for his lips to graze his when Eric’s walkie-talkie started rattling.  

At the noon the whole mansion was going to be examined; every corner, every door, every window and every hole. It wasn’t Hyesung’s orders, but Eric’s. It was so close to him to get a peak of the stalker. He was so close to launch his weapon. He was so close to kiss—

That had nothing to do with the case.

No.

He wasn’t allowed to be weak like that. It was forbidden to violate the relationship between the victims and the bodyguards. Yet, Eric had broken the rules. He had touched the one he shouldn’t be touching.

“Mr. Mun,” Tae Hak panicked. “What do you mean by…by…stalker!?”

The bodyguard set his eyes at him, causing Tae Hak to turn his head away from those piercing and hurtful eyes.

“Ask…Mr. Shin,” Eric told. “…but he…will…live with me…until everything has…changed and studied…perfectly.”

Tae Hak sighed. He knew Eric was being rational.

“Fine,” The manager gave in. “But you are the one to tell Dongwan hyung the new destination.”  

Eric bowed and left to claim Hyesung.

“What do you mean, you aren’t coming with us?” The little prince scolded the poor Junjin. “Of course you will…”

“Hyung,” Junjin shook his head. “I don’t want to. I will…live here alone…the stalker isn’t after me.”

Hyesung exhaled. “But I hate to leave you alone.” He mumbled. “What if something happens? I am not here to rescue you.”

“Still, this is far better place to be than any hotel.” Junjin laughed sadly. “Besides, Eric hyung certainly has a narrow feeling with you and his brother in the house.”

“You know he has a brother?” Hyesung questioned.

Junjin nodded. “Everyone knows at the school building. But I never met him…since Eric hyung suddenly left his duties.” He explained. “I wonder why.”

Hyesung looked at the proceeding bodyguard and tried not to recall the last night’s incident.

“Well,” He inhaled. “You have to stop crying Jin… and also, be healthy, and don’t visit the grieving room far too often. Jin Kyo would want you to rest and…live.”

Junjin hugged the man. “I know. Go.”

Hyesung puckered up his lips to his dongsaeng’s heartless command. But he knew Junjin meant it well and it was rather softly spoken. He hugged him once more and then walked off to the bodyguard whose cheekbones were redder than ever.

“Am I really going to live with you?”

Eric nodded.

“Do you have enough room?”

Nothing.

Hyesung closed his eyes and sighed.

Eric stepped into the foyer and the door across them opened. Hyesung blinked his eyes when a guy, shorter than Eric, exited it with a girl, who smiled widely at them. She advanced the two and passed her hand at Eric, who glared at her then the guy and then her again.

“I am Kim Sa Rah.” She said.

Eric reluctantly lifted his hand. “Eric…Andy’s brother.”

She laughed heartily. “Obviously the quiet one, like Andy oppa has told.” She complemented, but Eric wrinkled his nose and strode past her cruelly, pulling Hyesung behind him. “Oppa…” she whined.

“Hyung,” Andy said sharply, blocking Eric’s path. “We need to talk.”

“In…private?” Eric asked, glancing at Hyesung, who had the deepest frown between his eyebrows since they day he met him.

Andy shook his head. “Everything I can say is for Sa Rah’s ears. And maybe to Shin Hyesung’s.” he blurted out so seriously that Hyesung almost saw the resemblance of Eric in him.

“What…is it?” Eric interrogated. “About…the past?”

Andy chuckled. “Yes. What else do we talk about, hyung?”

Eric knew why Andy suddenly wanted to share his thoughts. It was because of the drug: Kim Sa Rah.

“Did you see nightmares?” the shorter guy asked, causing Hyesung to frown even more. “Did you, Eric?”

The bodyguard fisted his hands.

“Did you see all those men, paying to our stepdad that they can touch me?” Hyesung gasped, and Eric tossed his head at him. “Did you see those erted, middle-aged men, arguing who could touch me and ruin my body first? Did you?”

The knuckles started turning white.

“Did you see me, crying, screaming, not enjoying but still fulfilling what our stepdad wanted? Did you see me being obedient to our dad so that he could be proud of his abused son?”

“Stop…”

“No, hyung. It’s time for me to say…you are my jail.”