Annyeonghaseyo! *bows*

Guess who's back? f(x)'s back and so is krystallized. :) 

I'm sorry, I just disappeared like that. The last time I updated was before our finals week which was three months ago, right? I know I should've written a lot since i'm on a four-month vacation from school but i got recruited for a summer job as soon as the semester ends. So yeah, I'm still working right now but I really wanted to continue this story so bad. Another thing is, I got a little problem writing this chapter, I had to delete the whole chapter one time just because I wasn't satisfied with it. So can you forgive authorshi for taking so long? *puppy eyes*

By the way, I miss this story and you guyssss!

PS: Have you heard f(x)'s new album? It's pretty cool, isn't it? :D

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Still Jessica’s POV

 

My eyelids were threatening to droop but thanks to the combined forces of Yuri and Amber’s snores, I managed to stay up for the night. Yes, I brought these two idiots home after stumbling for so many times with Yuri on the way up here to my apartment. Luckily, the receptionist offered help when I brought Amber with me. The llama is no joke, she’s really heavy. I wonder how Krystal—%!@!@$#%5 I don’t want to think about it further.

 

Speaking of my little sister, she’s already in her deep sleep when we got home. I wanted to wake her up so bad that I wasted too much energy dragging her out of her bed, only to be kicked out of her room in the end. Maybe it’s really not yet time for her to meet Amber? *sigh*

 

Destiny, what is this? Why won’t you let them meet? Is this really not the right time? If not, when? When they’re both out of each other’s grasps?

 

My thoughts were then again interrupted when my seobang started mumbling stupid things. Earlier in the car when I was thinking of how I would explain everything to Krystal, Yuri started reciting the periodic table and totally distracted me.

 

“Amber Liu llama…Yoona-shi kyeopta…”

 

What?! Is she dreaming about that Love Rain girl?

 

“Jessica…Saranghamnida…”

 

“Pssh. Babo.”

 

My arms automatically spun around her and pulled her closer to me until I felt something hard on her jeans pocket. Curious of what it was, I attempted to check it out but totally forgetting about it when the other person in the room made me aware of her existence.

 

“K-Krystal…” Amber cried in her sleep. Hearing her utter my sister’s name in pain and despair made my heart break. Feeling hurt for her was unexplainable, unreasonable. But seeing Amber in pain made me want to cry. I wanted to ease her pain and make her smile again. Maybe because I loved her before that I learned to care for her this much.

 

“Ugggh…”

 

I released Yuri from my embrace and attended Amber who was sleeping on the mattress on the floor. Amber was whimpering, seemed like she was having a nightmare.

 

A nightmare about Krystal.

 

“Amber, ssshh. It’s okay,” I told her as if she could hear me while wiping her cold sweats. It was not the first time that I got to see Amber’s face this close but even at the moment, I couldn’t help but get enthralled by her face. Watching drunken Amber sleep and admiring every detail of her handsome face, it was like déjà vu.

 

I could still remember the night when she also passed out with Key and the pojangmacha ahjumma called me to pick her up, that night when I brought her home, took care of her and just watched her overnight. I could still remember the kiss. Yes, that kiss, our very first kiss. It was unintentional but it made me realize what I felt for her way back then. How I felt giddy and inspired to cook breakfast for her the next morning. But everything came to an end when I found out the very reason why Amber was like that.

 

Krystal. It has always been Krystal.

 

Jung Sooyeon, how dare you think about those times again?

 

“K-Krystal…marry me.”

 

*sigh*

 

If you happened to feel the same way for me before and we ended up together, could everything have been much better for you? Could you possibly not be hurting like this?

 

When Amber was finally back to her peaceful sleep and Yuri seemed to be fine, I decided to check on Krystal. I quietly entered her room with the spare key and there was my beloved little sister, lying comfortably on her bed under the mango printed sheets. She looked so peaceful, like she had no worries in life. I couldn’t help but find it unfair for Amber who’s probably sleeping through nightmares for the last three months.

 

Krystal, you’re just a wall apart from the person who used to be the most important in your life. Will you let the gap between you two grow even more?

 

But before my mind drift into deeper thoughts, I heard a loud bang coming from the outside. Worried about the two dorks sleeping on the other room, I immediately find my way back to see them. My heart almost jumped when I heard the sound of someone coughing from the bathroom.

 

I was relieved to see that it was Amber but that relief turned to worry when I realized that she was vomiting and leaning on the sink for support.

 

“Amber!” I quickly moved towards the bathroom and assisted her.

 

Amber’s eyes widened as soon as she recognized me. “N-Noona—*vomits*

 

“I told you not to drink too much again. You even brought Yuri into this.” I said, patting her back.

 

“N-Noona…K-Krystal? O-Ottoke?” Amber stuttered. The dorky Amber Liu I knew suddenly looked extremely confused, her cold dark pools filled with worry.

 

“What are you afraid of, Amber?” I asked. But then again, I shouldn’t have asked since the answer was too obvious.

 

Amber stood frozen in front of me, wearing that expressionless mask on her face. “She’s in a deep sleep, don’t worry,” I assured her.

 

Oh yes, I know you very well, Amber. Every answer to those questions is Krystal. What are you afraid of? Krystal. What do you like most? Krystal? What does love mean to you? Krystal. It has always been her.

 

“I shouldn’t be here, noona.”

 

Through her wobbly walk, Amber struggled outside the bathroom, towards the living room and headed for the front door. I immediately followed, knowing that she was not sober enough to go home at this hour. Amber, instead of opening the door, was leaning her head against it.

 

“Don’t go until you feel better,” I told her, ushering her back to the living room and guided her towards the couch to lie down. “Stay right here, I’ll go get some tea.”

 

“Jessie.”

 

I was surprised by the way Amber called me but what was more surprising was the feeling of her hand on mine.

 

“Let’s talk about it later, okay?”

 

I headed for the kitchen and started preparing a pot of jasmine tea. While waiting for the water to boil, I couldn’t help but think about the girl who claimed to be Amber’s girlfriend.

 

It’s impossible, right? Amber couldn’t be together with that girl. The dork loves Krystal to death, how could she be Amber’s girlfriend?

 

“Ha! She’s crazy! Girlfriend, my .”

 

“Whose girlfriend?”

 

Good thing I wasn’t holding the kettle or else I would have spilled the hot tea. I wasn’t shocked by the voice but by the arms that were wrapped around me from behind!

 

“Y-Yah, get off!"

 

“You’re funny when you talk to yourself,” she said. I felt Amber’s head resting on my shoulder and her warm breath on my neck sent chills down my spine. I was starting to get comfortable on that spot until she spoke once again. “You look so much like her, do you know that? Even your backs look the same.” And by ‘her’, I knew she was pertaining to Krystal. It was like a splash of ice cold water to my face that no matter how tight Amber’s hug was, I still managed to lay my hand on the frying pan and *SLAM*.

 

“Ow! That hurts, noona!”

 

“Are you all sober now? Good, because I have to talk to you.”

 

“Aish, still violent as ever,” I heard Amber complained but fell silent after. Silence then filled the spaces between us until I finished preparing the tea and some hangover soup.

 

“To the living room, now,” I told her, my stern voice matching my death glare and like usual, Amber followed my instructions. I followed her back to the living room and sat across her on the couch. It was just when I realized what I did to Amber in the kitchen.

 

“Oh, god. Amber, I’m sorry. Does it hurt?” I panicked when I saw a swollen part on her forehead. “Wait here, I’ll go get some ice pack.” But for the second time, Amber held my hand, attempting to stop me. She gazed at me with her lonely eyes this time and made me sulk back on the couch.

 

We were lost of words for a minute or two until I decided to break the ice between us by offering her some tea. There were so many things I wanted to tell her about Krystal but I couldn’t find the right time when to bring them up.

 

“Ahh. This is really refreshing. You better give some to Kwon Yuri when she wakes up too, she’ll probably feel dizzy,” Amber said.

 

“And you’re to blame for that!” I knocked Amber’s head with my fist and the llama just made her puppy face like usual. “You made Yul drink more than she can handle. What if you two got into trouble for being crazily drunk?”

 

“I’m sorry, it won’t happen again,” she replied without meeting my eyes. I knew she was sincerely sorry so I decided to let her go this time. Feeling sorry too for being violent towards her earlier, I brought up the hangover soup and fed her.

 

“Here, say ahh..” I moved the spoon of soup to her lips but the hard-headed Amber didn’t oblige at first and just looked at me. Seriously, what’s wrong with my face that she just looked at me the whole time? “Llama, I’m going to pour this on you if you don’t eat.”

 

“Thank you for always taking care of me, noona,” she said with a forced smile. Her beautiful eyes that once killed me with their eyesmiles suddenly looked weary, from crying obviously.

 

“Of course it’s just right to take care of you. It’s like taking care of Krystal too.”

 

Amber, do you have any idea how it hurts just by seeing you like that? Just by hearing your husky voice overflowing with bitterness and agony? It’s twice the pain I felt when you broke my heart. It breaks me seeing you this broken and lifeless, it breaks me watching Krystal in the arms that she doesn’t belong and there’s nothing else I can do but pretend to be happy for them. Ottoke?

 

Amber seemed to be loss of words this early just at the mention of Krystal’s name. She was taking forever to talk that I tried to lighten up the mood.

 

“Yah, how’s China? Did you bring some oriental medicine for Krystal’s fast recovery? What about some ginseng for your Jessie noona? Ginseng is good for the—

 

“I’m sure Yuri and Minho takes care of you and K-Krystal well that’s why I didn’t bother bringing anything,” she replied, her voice was b with sadness.

 

“A-Amber."

 

“You like Minho for Krystal, right?”

 

“Amber, what are you saying?! It’s not like that!”

 

“You should like him for Krystal, he’s a good person.”

 

“Don’t tell me what to like or what to do, Amber! Stop defending that good for nothing bestfriend of yours, he ruined your life! The life that you’re supposed to share with—

 

“Ssssh. Keep it low, what if she wakes up?”

 

“What? I don’t care if she does! You two will meet sooner or later anyway.” Patience is badly needed on a conversation like ours but it seemed like I was about to lose it anytime soon with Amber’s hard-headedness.

 

This coward. Tss.

 

 

 

 

And she admitted it herself.

 

“Call me a coward but I’m afraid, alright? I’m afraid to see her eyes not looking at me the way she used to. I’m afraid that she won’t look at me with those adorable eyes that used to tell me how much she loves me. Noona, I’m afraid to find out myself what’s left for us when clearly there’s nothing anymore.” Amber’s tears that were threatening to fall earlier finally broke. This crybaby would make me cry anytime soon so I comforted her in my arms.

 

“Ssssh…cry all you want. Just keep it low or else she’ll wake up.”

 

“There are things that we don’t want to happen but have to accept and people we can’t live without but have to let go. Among those people, Krystal is the most important to me, noona. No matter what Minho did but made Krystal happy, I have to let it go,” she said. I patted her head that was then buried on my shoulder and she looked up at me with her teary eyes.

 

“You know I can just go in that room, wake her up and tell her who I am, right? But I won’t, noona. I care for her happiness more than my own. If she’s set to start another life with Minho, then so be it. For me, Krystal’s happiness comes first no matter how painful the choices might be. I love her that much.” I was touched by Amber’s statement that it made me cry.

 

Krystal, Amber’s love for you, it’s true love. The love that was just written in books and sung in love songs, you’re lucky to have someone who loves you that way. How can you let this go, sis? *sigh*

 

“Hey, are you crying? Did I say something bad?” she asked with that weak smile on her face. I reacted immediately by wiping the droplets from my eyes.

 

“Nothing. I’m just tired that my eyes are teary,” I lied.

 

Amber wiped her tears and released herself from my arms. “Is that so? Then you should go to bed now and sleep beside Yuri.” She flashed that charming dorky smile after my seobang’s name.

 

Aish. I almost forgot about Yuri.

 

“Fine, I’m going to sleep. What about you? Will you stay through breakfast?”

 

Amber replied with mere smile. “I’m leaving before sunrise. Krystal will probably be up by eight onwards, I guess.” Really, Amber knows Krystal best. It’s such a waste that their relationship is going to end like this. *sigh*

 

“You still have my number, right? Please, keep in touch. It’s not like we’ve totally forgotten about you too. Call me when you got home, okay?”

 

“Nae, noona.”

 

I finally understood. Amber decided not to push it further, she decided to give up. There’s nothing else I could hope for but for Amber to be happy again. Whether it’s with another girl, it doesn’t matter anymore.

 

A good closure is the perfect start, Amber.

 

“Krystal’s room is unlocked, just so you know.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Maybe it’s still with Krystal after all.

 

 

 

Krystal’s POV

 

“Oh c’mon! It’s almost there!”

 

There was this certain ‘guy in white’ who was growling in front of a capsule-like machine. He looked ridiculous, kicking and slamming the exterior of the apparatus. I couldn’t see his face but I approached him and stood by his side.

 

I finally saw what the thing was, it’s just another claw machine that could be seen in arcades but it was set on the campus grounds instead. Inside the machine were cute little llama stuff toys in different colours waiting for someone to pick them. As expected for the so-called LLamachine.

 

“What are you doing, stupid?” I asked the ‘guy in white’.

 

“I’m trying to get one for you…aish, why is this thing so hard??” he complained. I watched how the ‘guy in white’ managed to catch one of the llamas and successfully dragged it up but failed to shoot it on the hole. “That was so close! One more, one more.” The ‘guy in white’ fished several more coins out of his pocket and inserted one in the machine.

 

My heart raced as the claw began to move. I really wanted to have one of those cute llamas and this ‘guy in white’ assured me that he would definitely get one for me. I cheered for him in every turn until there were no more coins left. He really in playing that kind of thing and got nothing for me in the end.

 

“I’m sorry, baby. I couldn’t get you one.”

 

“It’s okay. I don’t need another llama, you in my life is enough.”

 

I tucked myself in my llama’s arms and felt something sweet brushed my lips.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*sniff*

 

*sniff*

 

I woke up with the smell of mixed alcohol and this certain intoxicating musk filling my bedroom. It was too familiar but I couldn’t recognize who the owner of that scent was. I got up from bed to look around my room for that certain someone but failed. It felt weird. My heart was beating rapidly while my mind was delving through my organized thoughts just because of that certain manly scent that occupied the room.

 

Well, what else could be weirder than my dream about llamas? *giggles*

 

I went out of my room and headed straight to the dining room where I heard voices talking.

 

“A girl? Really? How does she look like?”

 

Uh, this Kwon Yuri so early in the morning?

 

“She certainly looked like the Nation’s First Love and she was wearing a Jimmy Choo. A Jimmy Choo for heaven’s sake!”

 

Geez, why is Sica unnie so stressed out this early?

 

“Then what’s the big deal? From what I heard from Amber—

 

“Ran out of food for breakfast, Kwon Yuri? What are you doing here—oh, why do you look so surprised all of a sudden?” I asked. They looked like they saw a ghost when I showed up.

 

*sniff*

 

*sniff*

 

“Who smells alcohol?” It was the same alcohol smell from my room so I followed it but it turned out to be Kwon Yuri. “Aish, so it’s you who entered my room?”

 

“Yah, why the hell would I sneak in your room? I didn’t even know I ended up here in your place,” Yuri retorted while preparing the table for breakfast.

 

This liar. Tss. Then who else could that be?

 

“Krystal, take a seat. Breakfast is ready,” Sica unnie told me as she poured a cup of tea. I sat opposite her and took a sip of my morning tea.

 

“I don’t remember drinking jasmine tea before going to bed but my lips taste like it when I woke up. Weird.” I was talking to myself but Kwon Yuri seemed to overhear it and surprisingly coughed in the middle of drinking her coffee.

 

“Jasmine tea?” Sica unnie asked, surprised.

 

Gosh, what’s with these two being nervous and all that meaningful exchanges of looks?

 

 

 

 

 

 

“And who’s that Amber you were talking about earlier?”