Chapter 24
Anonymous ConfessionsSo before you read this chapter, I would just like to point out something. The poll from last chapter was very close, and in fact, people who voted for no second POV of the confrontation were winning for a time. Because of that, I actually did write Jonghyun's POV, but I also wrote a (shorter) chapter for those who didn't want to read it. Just skip to the bar line ^^
Jonghyun's POV
I had woken up feeling incredibly excited. Nervous for sure, but the eagerness of what was to come later in the day had ruled out my anxiety. So as I waited in the school courtyard, I felt myself growing impatient. The long wait before what could possibly be something amazing was always the worst.
I found myself actually starting to get nervous, in fact, when the silence of the small area grew on me.
Would she be as nice as Krystal seemed to be with Minho?
Would she be attractive? Smart? Funny? Cute?
Would she even show up?
I resorted to pacing around as I asked myself questions. After what seemed like an eternity later, I finally heard the shuffling of footsteps from behind me. I straightened up and smiled as I listened to the other’s footsteps stop.
I was going to be cool and collected about this, not to mention charm the hell out of my admirer.
“Took you long enough,” I called out to whoever it was that was behind me. “I didn’t know how early you’d show, so I’ve been waiting awhile,” I chuckled as my tone held the anticipation that I was feeling.
I waited for the girl behind me to speak, to voice her thoughts on our current situation. But as I was met with silence, I decided to keep talking instead. “You’re not going to speak up?” I laughed slightly, slowly pivoting around. For her not to speak, she must be insanely nervous.
“There’s no need to be intimidated by me,” I assured her as I turned around fully.
It took a split second of shock before I realized that the person I was looking at wasn’t actually a girl, and another to realize that I recognized his familiar feline eyes. I felt my face contort into an expression to match my surprise. “K-Kibum?” I sputtered out, feeling my throat closing up.
He waved shyly. “Hi Jjong,” he greeted in a soft voice.
Why was he here?
He couldn’t be the mystery sender! There had to be some mistake! Maybe he came here every morning.
But then, I thought about the day before. Suddenly, all the shock was replaced by anger. Was he the person who sent me the letter? Even if he wasn’t, he might just be acting as if he was. And why? Was it to get to me? Is that what he was planning to do? Make a move on me while he was clearly already cheating on two people?
Was I just a pawn in this sick game of his?
I felt my anger boil into disgust as my face took on the new emotion.
“Leave,” I whispered, my chest constricting with pain and fury all at once.
“What?” He croaked out, his shy smile falling into a look of sad incredulity.
“I said leave!” I barked at him. I refused to be used by him. Not when I had just decided to give up on him, and definitely not when I knew what a douche he was being.
“But I-” he started, but I wasn’t about to let him convince me otherwise.
“So it’s not enough that you have to be a cheater? Now you want me to join in with your sick game? Don’t be stupid,” I laughed in spite as the words came spilling out of my mouth. In another situation, I would have thought I was being an , but not this one. “Leave now, before I tell everyone what a man you are,” I spat.
For some reason, the more I threatened him, the angrier I became. What I’d witnessed in the past week came flying through my mind and just made me all the more mad at Kibum. Him choosing Taemin I could accept, especially when he didn’t even really know me enough to even realize I liked him. But him cheating on someone like it was no problem? That was something I would never accept.
“What?” He asked me again, disbelief shrouding his voice.
I huffed. “What? You don’t believe me? I’ll tell everyone just how much of a you are. I’ll ruin you. So get out of my sight. Now.” Maybe I was taking it a bit too far, but I just couldn’t deal with this right now. I needed to calm down, I needed to get him out of my head, but instead he was the only thing I could think of at the moment. I needed him to leave.
“Excuse me?” he growled. I could see his fists curling inwards with force as his knuckles whitened. Serves him right, he should be mad that someone knows what he’s been doing.
I laughed in disbelief. “You’re still not leaving?”
I wasn’t able to process what happened until my cheek started to sting. “How dare you talk to me like that, Kim Jonghyun?” Kibum yelled at me in rage. I almost stood still. I almost let him get away with that slap. But I knew that if I did, all he would do was stomp out of the courtyard and continue with his disgusting two faced act. Someone had to stop him.
So I slapped him back. “I can do whatever the hell I want!” I retorted.
He slapped me again, this time a little bit weaker as tears started welling at his eyes. “I wrote you that stupid letter! I’m the one who said I was in love with you! But I guess I take it all back,” He yelled in my face, his voice shaking just slightly.
I shrugged nonchalantly; I wasn’t about to give him the satisfaction of sympathy. “How the did I let myself fall in love with a bastard like you?” He screamed in a cracking voice as he pushed me backwards.
I stumbled a few steps before I caught my balance, my anger flaring at the accusation. “Me? I’m the bastard? What about you, huh? Going out with two guys?” I snarled as I pushed him back.
“What?” he breathed out.
“Oh, don’t act all innocent! Does Taemin even know you’re cheating on him?” I went off.
“What?”
I laughed bitterly. He really wasn’t going to admit anything? He was even playing innocent with me? “Of course he doesn’t! Why am I even asking that?”
“Taemin and I aren’t,” I heard him start in a shaky breath. “Taemin and I aren’t dating.” He said slowly, clearing away the tears that were sliding down his cheeks.
Was he seriously denying this? “I bet that’s what you said to Onew too,” I huffed in bitterness.
“Onew?” he asked.
Now I was starting to get irritated. “Don’t play dumb! I saw you two yesterday in this very courtyard!”
“Yesterday? But I didn’t-” He started. I rolled my eyes in annoyance. “Wait. Just what did you see yesterday?”
I huffed out an infuriated laugh. “You and Onew kissing like it was nobody’s business,” I sneered at him.
“But I… That was…” He sputtered out, not able to finish his sentences. So I had caught him.
“That’s what I thought. Now, are you going to leave or not?” I asked again, wanting desperately for him to just get out of my sight. I had already elongated our meeting enough by fighting back.
“I’m not dating anybody!” He finally yelled in exasperation.
“Yeah right,” I rolled his eyes impatiently. When the hell was he just going to leave?
“No. I’m serious. I’m not dating anybody.” He said. “What you saw yesterday was a misunderstanding!”
I don’t want to hear your excuses, is what I wanted to say, but he cut me off before I could start talking, leaving my mouth open in impatience.
“I never wanted Onew to find the letter. I didn’t even know it went missing! But he found it and he thought it was meant for him. He led me out after class and confronted me about it. He’s the one who kissed me! He’s the one who took my first kiss! He said it was because I loved him, because the letter said I did. But that letter wasn’t for him!” He rushed out, his words tumbling over each other as tears started spilling down his face. My mouth clamped shut as I heard the inflections in his voice. His voice itself broke slightly and simply dripped with desperation.
“That letter was meant for you. Not Onew, but you. And I swear that whatever you think is going on between me and Taemin isn’t true. Taemin is my best friend, and I hate seeing him get hurt. I don’t know why, but I’m just super protective over him. He’s been in a lot of pain recently, and I’m there for him to get through it. I promise there’s nothing else between us! Just please, please, don’t hate me,” He cried out.
It caught me off guard completely. A confession for being a cheater was what I had been expecting, but never this. And the pure anxiety, the pure fear in Kibum’s eyes that shone as if he were terrified of the idea of me hating him, just made my heart wrench up in a ball of guilt. “But… But the hand holding and hugs...” I trailed off, not able to hide my shock.
“It’s just skinship,” he shook his head as he sniffled.
The more I thought about it, the more it made sense. All of the things I’d witnessed with him and Taemin were all things that most friends did in Korea. The ball of guilt in my heart gradually dropped into the pit of my stomach as it coiled in knots. But I had to know if he wasn’t just lying to me. “You’re telling the truth?” I asked slowly, hoping, praying that he was.
“Why wouldn’t I be?” He choked on his words as he looked me in the eyes. I felt as if I had committed the biggest sin in the universe by making Kibum cry as I glanced at his feline eyes, looking less like their usual enticing selves and more vulnerable than anything.
“I…” I trailed off again, looking down as the guilt and shame threatened to swallow up the rest of me as well as my stomach. “I’m so sorry,” I said as I lifted my eyes to meet his, trying to convey all of my apology and remorse through my gaze. “I didn’t know.” He nodded sadly. But then something occurred to me.
“So that letter...” I paused as I thought about it. “That letter was meant for me?” I asked.
He nodded again, this time in shyness as a blush crept onto his embarrassed face.
I broke into an ear splitting grin as I connected the dots. “You… love me?”
His blushing face suddenly went tomato red as he shook both his hands and head in surprise. “I didn’t mean-” he tried to deny but I cut him off.
I closed the distance between us in a hug, not sure what else to do. “I’m sorry, Kibum,” I muttered to him over and over as I leaned my head on his shoulder. My heart tripped over itself when I felt him lean his head on my own shoulder as well in acceptance “I’m so sorry.” I didn’t think I’d be able to say it enough, and I knew that no matter how many times I did, it would never come close to expressing the amount of regret and remorse I had.
After a moment, Kibum pulled away from me. “Do I get an answer?” he mumbled, his eyes not quite meeting mine. I looked at him in confusion. “An answer to my letter, pabo!” He huffed, crossing his arms as he bit his bottom lip.
I wanted to simply pick him up and twirl him around in answer, but instead I played it off. I sighed in faux thought. “Well, I was expecting a girl…” I trailed off, laughing to myself at the true statement. I almost felt more guilt as I saw his facial expression fall. “But you’re better than any girl.” I smiled genuinely, softening my gaze as I looked in his eyes.
His eyes widened as he looked at me in surprise. “Huh?”
I looked down, feeling infinitely embarrassed about what I was about to say. “I…I’ve been watching you since middle school,” I admitted. “But I knew how bad it would be if it got out that the school’s player was gay, so I couldn’t do anything about it.” I wanted to hide. I sounded so stupid. But I was going to finish what I’d started.
“I,” I started, slowly looking him in the eyes again. “I like you, Kibum.”
My heart thudded against my ribcage as his lips parted to form a smile that took my breath away. “You like me?” he asked, the hope in his voice making my chest clench.
“Well, yeah,” I smiled shyly as I looked back at him.
Our eyes met and my world pretty much froze as I saw the pure happiness in his eyes. I searched his hazel orbs and found nothing but that emotion and it made me uncharacteristically giddy. I burst out laughing at the simple fact of being happy.
“What?” Kibum asked in confusion.
“Nothing,” I grinned at him before I held out my hand. “Give me your hand,” I reassured when I saw his questioning look. Hesitantly, he reached and met my hand. I interlaced our fingers, beaming brightly as I realized that the action seemed to just fit, as if his hand resting in mine just completed me.
We began walking back towards the front of the school at an extremely slow pace, enjoying each other’s company. “Jjong?” Kibum called. I hummed in response, warming up at the name he had given me. “Thanks,” he said softly. “I know you misunderstood, and that much hurt me, but thanks for accepting my feelings.”
I felt a twang of guilt for my previous actions and assumptions.
“You’re welcome,” I sighed. After a slight pause, something came to me; a nickname. “Key,” I breathed out.
“Huh?” he asked in confusion.
“It’s your nickname. You call me Jjong, so I’ll call you Key,” I explained, smiling as I heard his shy giggle in response.
“Why Key?” he asked.
“Because you complete me,” I responded.
The rest of the walk to the school entrance was spent in silence, both of us too content to bother talking.
“So how was your meeting with your secret admirer this morning?” Minho asked me after school at my locker.
I stopped loading my backpack for a second as I looked at him in surprise. “You heard about that?” I asked. I hadn’t told him that I had gotten a letter, let alone planned to meet the sender.
He snorted and rolled his eyes. “Of course I’ve heard, it’s the only thing I hear during class. Well, that and a few other rumors,” he said.
“Like what?” I asked, not exactly caring but simply making conversation.
He leaned closer to me and lowered his voice. “You know Haesun? The blonde who always wears miniskirts?”
“Yeah,” I said, not sure where this was going.
“I heard she’s going into the ion business.” I rolled my eyes. It wasn’t like Minho to care about gossip at all.
“What’s it to you what people do with their lives?” I asked him, raising my eyebrows.
“Nothing,” he shrugged nonchalantly in innocence. Then, lowering his voice, he whispered, “but now you know where to get s if you want one.”
I looked at him in disbelief. Had I just heard him say that? “You’re disgusting,” I deadpanned.
He burst out laughing and shook his head. “I’m just kidding with you. I honestly don’t know anything about Haesun,” he shrugged. “But seriously, why didn’t you tell me that you got a letter too?”
I puffed air into to my cheeks and slowly let it out. “Because I didn’t get it until yesterday,” I answered.
“Yesterday? And you’ve already found your girl?” He asked me in confusion.
I tried not to cringe at his gender label as I nodded. “I have my ways,” I shrugged. “But anyway, why aren’t you with Krystal?” I asked, noticing for the first time that the brunette wasn’t with him as she had been since they got together the previous day.
He shrugged. “She said she had some tutoring thing to go to.”
I nodded in understanding. “So, want to come over to my place then?” I asked him. I had been planning to spend my afternoon with Kibum, but when he had come up to me a few minutes prior with the most worried expression on his face and told me that he was going to spend the afternoon with Taemin, I didn’t ask any questions. I sighed in disappointment as I finished with my locker and zipped my backpack up.
“Yeah, sure,” Minho replied as I shut my locker door.
We exited the school building and started the fairly short walk towards my house.
When we entered my house, we made a beeline to my room, dumping our bags on my floor on our way. While I took a seat on my bed, Minho went straight for my rack of video games.
“You still play this?” He asked.
“Huh?”
“Tales of Symphonia?” He furrowed his brows, holding up the game case.
I nodded, a small smile creeping onto my face as I remembered that Kibum played it too. No, that Key did. My smile grew even wider.
I was glad it went unnoticed by Minho as he turned away from me, scanning my games again. I knew what he would pick though; it wasn’t too hard to guess.
“Mario Kart?” He grinned at me.
I rolled my eyes. “You would.”
He laughed and made his way over to my TV, popping the game in the system and grabbing remotes. After tossing one to me, he sat down on the floor against my bed while the menu screen popped up.
As we picked our desired settings and characters, Minho spoke up. “So what did happen with your mystery sender?”
“Stuff,” I replied as the race started.
“Who is it anyway?” He pressed.
“Someone,” I answered. Even though Minho knew I liked Kibum, the thought of admitting anything was something I didn’t want to make into a reality.
“Oh come on,” he protested. “Who is it?”
“Someone. No one. Whoever you want it to be,” I said, completely ignoring the question.
“Yah, Jonghyun. Tell me.”
My character fell off the race course, so I took the time to lightly smack Minho’s head with my remote. “Respect your elders,” I said.
He snorted. “I would if you told me,” he retailed.
“Not a chance,” I replied. I would tell him, but not now; not until I’d had the chance to actually talk things over with Key. “Anyways, how are things with-“ I cut myself off by yelling out a string of insults at the TV. “Stupid glittering road!” I muttered as I fell off the edge of the course again.
Minho laughed. “It’s your fault for picking Baby Mario and his worst possible kart.”
I grumbled a “shut up” before starting over with my previous question. “How’re things with Taemin?” I asked, casually wondering how they became friends so fast.
I saw Minho’s frame tense out of my peripheral vision. “Fine,” he said curtly before yelling out a cheer when he passed the computer in first place.
I spared him a quick frown. “Are you sure?” I pressed in suspicion.
“Things are fine, Jonghyun.” Minho said sharply. I paused the race and stared at him. “What?” He asked when he turned his head around to look at me.
“Minho,” I said as I raised my eyebrows.
He sighed and held up his hands in surrender. “He’s mad at me,” he muttered out.
I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. “Why?”
“I don’t know,” he sighed again. Then, looking at my disbelieving expression, he pouted. “I honestly don’t.”
“Did you do anything?” I asked, starting the game back up when Minho turned away from me.
“I don’t think I did,” he replied. “He just… Oh God Jonghyun, you should’ve seen him. I don’t know what happened but for some reason, I feel guilty for it.”
Idly, my mind raced back to when Key had told me that he was spending the day with Taemin. Given from his the expression on his face, something did seem really wrong. “I’m sure whatever happened will blow over,” I said.
“I hope so,” Minho replied.
I tried not to think about how it seemed like Minho was a little too worried for someone he only just met, too focused on the game at hand.
Anneyong ^^
So I understand that the second part of the chapter may seem kind of pointless, but actually, it kind of shows how Jonghyun is just starting to suspect Minho likes Taemin.
Also, I'm sorry for not updating for a month OTL. I feel like my month long hiatuses happen fairly often ._.
And 280+ subscribers!! Omg <3 Thanks guys~~ Can i get to 300 with this chapter? :D Maybe?
Anyways, I got a tumblr guys ^^ Actually, I've had one for quite a while, I just never bothered to advertise. This here is my KPop blog, where all I do is reblog pics/gifs. This is my personal tumblr which I just made yesterday :3 I honestly have like no followers since I don't do too much. Follow me and ask me random things ^^ I promise I'll answer them <3 And maybe give insight on my fics and whatev if you want.
Oh, by the way, have you guys heard Teen Top's new songs? <3 The album doesn't officially come out til either tonight or tomorrow on K2nblog >__> But you can find the songs on youtube~ ASDFGHJKL; WHAT ARE WORDS? <3 <3 I love them so much ;~; <3 And L.Joe's rap. *^*
Until next time~
xoxo
This is a very late message, but if you haven't checked out my blog or profile yet, I'm currently on an indefinite hiatus. I'm not sure when I'll update. Sorry!
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