CHAPTER NINETEEN

A/N: I am incredibly sorry for my late updates. I got back from my trip and ended up being sick. Please forgive me! Without further ado, I present to you all chapter 19.

I wasn’t sure if I should feel thankful or angry towards this stranger beside me. One, he has been annoying me during this whole train ride while I only wanted nothing more than plain silence. Two, he picked up Taehyun’s call for me and shushed him up, now Taehyun’s going to think I’m with some other guy! But hell, it’s not like I have a chance with him anymore right? However, his company and positive attitude did manage to put my mind at ease for a short while because for once, I wasn’t thinking about all the worries back in Seoul.

I glanced at the boy beside me who suddenly seemed to be too quiet to be normal. I raised an eyebrow at his unusual behaviour and decided to nudge his arm. “Yah, why are you so quiet all of a sudden?”

His body rocked a little to the side but he didn’t respond. If his eyes weren’t open, I would have thought he was dead. I waved my hand over his face but he still didn’t budge. I rolled my eyes. “Fine be that way, kiddo.”

“Noona!”

My body froze and I shook my head knowing that it wouldn’t be Taehyun that’s calling me that. I scrunched my eyebrows together and looked at the source of the sound beside me.

“Noona? Can I call you that?”

“Uh…”

I was about to reply but was cut off when the boy shoved one of his earphones into my right ear while the other earbud was dangling from his left. “Give me your honest opinion please!” His face looked so serious and concerned that I somehow felt obliged to help this lost puppy in front of me. I slowly nodded and the brightest smile appeared on his face. His fingers fidgeted with his iPod player and played a song for me to listen.

As the music played, I unconsciously stared at the guy beside me. “Did you really compose this yourself?”

He nodded nervously and I finally managed to tear my gaze away from him. A smile crept on my face and eventually bobbed my head to the beat of the song. The boy seemed to have relaxed after seeing how much I’m enjoying his composition. When the last beat ended, I immediately clapped my hands and then patted his shoulders. “Wow, great job!! You’ll make a really good rapper! I’m sure of it!”

“Really? You think so??” He beamed at me.

I smiled at him and genuinely nodded. “If you think you can, you can!”

He turned away and his smile subsided. He sighed. “If only she thinks just like you do.”

My ears perked up when he said that. “Oh… Love problems?”

“More like one sided love now…” He trailed off and played nervously with his fingers.

“Whoa, hey there young man. I’m all ears.”

“We broke up. Not long ago actually.” He sighed, seemingly very depressed once we got to the topic of his love life and I feel almost upset seeing him like that. Where did that upbeat and positive vibe from him went off to? “She said what I made was crap and that no one would be willing to listen to it.”

“That’s nonsense!” I exclaimed. “I’m sure if I ask-“ I almost clamped my hand over my mouth to stop talking in time. Uh hell no, can’t let him know that I used to work with YG and knows a few of their composers. I cleared my throat and continued, “What I’m saying is, I’m sure there are people who are bound to like your music. Just like me!” I pounded my chest triumphantly with my fist and made a peace sign.

He chuckled. “But it’s too late now. She said she’s already found someone more capable than I am. That’s why she went to Seoul and I followed her. But things still didn’t work out between us… I know she still has feelings for me. I don’t know why she’s doing this…”

I sat up straight and attempted to rub his back to soothe his pain away. “She just doesn’t know what she’s missing out on.” Aigoo, I can’t believe someone doesn’t know how to appreciate his music! How dare his girlfriend left him for that?

“Haha… Thanks, Yunju-noona. You’re too nice.” He said as he pursed his lips together.

Although I’ve only met this boy just merely about an hour ago, there’s just something that’s luring me to help him. As if something bad is going to happen if I don’t give him a hand. Maybe because I pity his love life and think he deserves something better in life even if I can’t achieve what I want with mine. “Hey, how about this... I may know some people back in Seoul who may be interested to give your songs a listen. I’m not promising anything though but I may be able to help you a little. Just send me a copy and I’ll see what I can do.”

“…”

I wish I haven’t offered my help because the boy basically threw himself at me and gave me the tightest and biggest hug EVER. “REALLY? Are.. Are you… Oh my, REALLY? You’re willing to help me?”

“Get off me!! I said maybe I’ll be of some help but I ain’t promising anything!” I had to pry his arms off me in the end.

“REALLY? Noona, you’re the best!!! You’re like the guardian angel in my life!!” He continued to do his victory fist pumped and then blabbered on. “It must be fate!! That we took the same train ride and sat beside each other! Did I tell you that YOU’RE THE BEST?”

“Jeez, you got to stop trusting people so easily. What if I sold your songs off to someone?” I chuckled at his outburst. “Yah, by the way, what’s your name? I realized we haven’t introduced ourselves yet.”

He scrambled off his feet and almost attempted to do a formal introductory bow at me on the train but I stopped him just in time. “Just your name will do, kid.”

He took off his cap and extended his hand out. “My name is Sungbae. Nice to meet you ,Yunju- noona.”

I grinned. “Nice to meet you too, Sungbae-shi.”

---

I waved goodbye to my new friend as I headed out another direction from the station. Finally having the courage to check my phone again, I turned the device on which then read that I have 42 unread messages and 17 missed calls. All from the same person, except for one message from Hyejin that read ‘Yah, tell me where you are, or I’m ending this friendship between us, arrasseo?! D:<’

I cringed at the message but thought I should just buy some time before replying her. My thumb pressed for the next message. Maybe I shouldn’t read what Taehyun sent me, but heck, I was curious.

‘Noona, just… please. Tell me where you are so I don’t need to worry.’

I gulped, thinking it was a bad idea to have read what he wrote but my thumb unconsciously hovered over the next button and I ended up reading the next message too.

‘I miss you. Where are you?’

I already feel tears attempting to spill over my eyes again but with all the self-control within me, I made myself delete all the messages that he has sent me. It’s probably better for me to not know what he wants to say. Yeah, that’s right. It’s for the better.

My phone suddenly began to ring and vibrate in my hand. I gulped as I read the name of the screen. It was Taehyun. I contemplated whether or not I should pick up his call. No, I shouldn’t. There’s nothing I can say to him right now… But my finger decided ahead of me and swiped across the screen to accept the call. My eyes bulged out. . Do I… Do I have to talk to him now?

With a shaking hand, I reluctantly brought the phone next to my face. I inhaled a deep breath, cleared my throat and hoped for the best. “H…Hello?” I cringed at the sound of my voice.

There was a gasp on the other end of the phone. “…Noona? Where are you!? You know how long I’ve been trying to contact you? The whole god damn morning and you ignore me?! What’s this all about?”

I scrunched my face at his outburst. Uh oh. Not only do I have to deal with my inner turmoil but also an angry Taehyun. And that is VERY bad news. Because I have never dealt with an angry Taehyun before. At the moment, I thought of all the things I wanted to tell him. That I am sorry, that I am stupid for leaving, that I miss him. Heck, I MISS HIM SO DAMN MUCH. But I somehow managed to blurt out something entirely different from what I’m feeling. “Taehyun-ah, let’s break up.”

I stopped walking on the street, luggage abandoned. I simply knelt down on the street in the middle of nowhere and cried and cried until my heart is satisfied… Which is nearly impossible because my heart will never be satisfied without Taehyun by my side.

“W-what? What did you just say?” Taehyun squeaked out, his voice trembling a little.

I felt a little guilty for saying this over the phone but it needs to be done. Using all my courage and trying to use a straight forward tone, I said, “You heard me the first time. Let’s break up. I don’t like you.”

There was a clear pause over the phone and I had to cover the mouth piece of my phone in order to muffle out my cries. Steaming hot tears flowed down my face but I didn’t care anymore. I wiped some tears with the sleeve of my flannel shirt. I didn’t’ care at that moment. I’ll just let strangers look at me weirdly. Yes, I just broke up with my boyfriend. Or ex-boyfriend that is. Does it seem like I care what others think of my crying face right now? no.

Taehyun sighed. “What’s wrong? Tell me please. I know you’re not usually like this. We were fine yesterday!”

“Ani… Yesterday was just… It was… It wasn’t real. It’s not supposed to be like that…” I didn’t even know how to respond.

He chuckled. “Ha! What? What are you talking about, noona? How… How’s that possible…”

“Taehyun-ah… Just, please. I don’t want to talk about it. Just leave it be.”

“Why did you quit YG? Did you intend to quit already but you just never told me?” Taehyun spoke again. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

At that sentence, something clicked in my mind. I cleared my throat and tried to link and connect all the random and stray pieces of words I want to say in my head. “Yes. I wanted to quit long ago. I knew I was going to quit yet I still got together with you. So what? There isn’t really a reason to tell you why anyways. I mean, who are you to me? I just thought a fling wouldn’t hurt.” I laughed. “I didn’t know you’ll be so affected by it…” I want to slap myself so badly at this point. Why is it so hard to lie? Worse of all, lying to the one I love.

Taehyun-ah… I’m sorry…

“So you’re saying you never liked me? I don’t believe you… I thought our feelings are mutual. Why are you lying to me? I know you like me! I can feel it when we’re together, I can see it in your eyes!”

“I never liked you! Can’t you understand? I was just toying with your feelings! I didn’t mean anything I did or said. Heck, why would I even like you? You annoyed me so much since the first day I met you! If anything, I should feel hatred towards you rather than affection!” I sat on the street, hugging my legs close against my body. Tears continued flowing endlessly down from my swollen eyes, nonstop.

“…But… I…I thought…”

My heart just broke into a million pieces hearing Taehyun’s voice like that. Lost, out of love, and disappointed. How can I be so cruel to him? This is only hurting me equally as much if not more.

“Aish, how do you want me to say it? Seriously? Just forget about me and move on! I’m not wasting any more time with this call. Don’t ever contact me ever again!” After I have managed to say that, I immediate hung up and hid my face in my hands. I cried loudly, crying my heart out till it is content in an attempt to stop the pain from spreading through my body. I didn’t even know my heart is capable of hurting this much. I didn’t know my eyes are capable of crying this much. I clenched onto my shirt over my heart, trying to stop the excruciating agony.

When will this feeling stop? One day… Maybe… But I know it won’t be anytime soon.

My phone vibrated one time and I looked over to see that I just received a text message. I trembled when I saw the sender. Jihyun.

‘My oh my! Good girl my Yunju! How does it feel to leave Seoul? It must be an unpleasant feeling. Oh, as for the pictures. I’m still keeping it.’

What? I immediately gave her a respond.

‘Delete it. Delete the photos. You don’t need it anymore!’

I got her reply within seconds.

‘Ha! Not so fast Yunju-shi… What if you change your mind and come back? I’m keeping it of course. You think I’m stupid like you? But don’t worry. I’ll take care of Taehyun well. I’m sure he’ll forget about you and change his mind about me soon enough.’

Staring at her message, I didn’t even know what to say anymore. Fine, I know. You win, I lose. I’m okay with that. As long as Taehyun is okay, I’m fine with anything.

I sat on the side walk for God knows how long. I couldn’t bring myself to get up. This pain I’m going through is simply too unbearable to get through. Ignoring the dirty and lifeless wall behind me, I leaned back against it for support. My body is too exhausted to do anything else.

So… This is how a heart break feels like. Definitely not something I want to go through. I choked on my sobs and gasped for air when I feel the wall around my throat squeezing tightly again. Crap! I quickly pulled out my inhaler and swallowed a huge gulp of medicine. No wonder I was feeling so lightheaded… After my breathing is steady and stable again, I finally got up on my legs and began walking again. But my mind still can’t seem to detour from one person.

I’m sorry Taehyun-ah… I’m sorry for all the pain I have caused you. I’m sorry for everything.

I love you. But please forget about me…

---

“Eomma! I’m home!” I huffed tiredly as I dragged my heavy suitcases into the apartment complex. Damn it, why did the elevator decide to be on maintenance today?? I sighed as I wiped a bead of sweating that’s attempting to drip down my temple with the back of my hand. Ugh disgusting! “Eomma?”

I looked around the living room. Where’s everyone?

Just then, I saw my mom’s head peeking out from the kitchen, a phone attached to one side of her head. I rolled my eyes and chuckled at her.

“Omo!! Yunju is back!! I’m hanging up! Bye!” I faintly hear her talk on the phone and then hanging up on who I assume is one of her ajumma friends. “Aigoo!!! My daughter!!” She rushes towards me and gave me a heartwarming hug. I smiled and embraced her as well, abandoning the heavy luggage alone in the center of the house. She pushed away and swept my fringe away from my face. “Aigoo, you must be tired! Do you want some water?”

“Thought you wouldn’t ask!” I immediately said and plopped myself down on the sofa. Starfish style, let me tell ya. That’s how Yunju does it! And yes I just made that up.

My mom shook her head at me. “Aish, you’re still the same! What have you learned the three years you’ve been living by yourself? Still lazily lounging around the house?” She attempted to smack my arm to make me get up.

“Ouch! Eomma! It hurts!” I finally stood up and dragged my sorry self into the kitchen to fetch myself some water since I already know she won’t do it for me. “Where’s your son? Aish… I’m still sweating. He could’ve helped me carry my heavy suitcases just now!”

“You don’t remember? Your dongseng is at his part time job right now!” My mom attempted to smack my head with a stack of magazine. More like a LITTLE TOO MUCH magazines. Thank goodness I dodged it in time. “Yah, what’s with all these things you brought with you? Aren’t you just staying for the weekend only?” My mom questioned while eyeing my luggage.

I pursed my lips. “Ani. I’m back for good…” I tried to maintain my casual tone but eventually stole a glance at my mom to see her shocked expression.

“What are you talking about?” She scooted herself next to me on the couch now. “What about your job?”

“Things happened and I… I quit my job actually.” My emotions are going crazy again and I feel tears collecting at the brim of my eyes. I gulped and looked down on my lap, avoiding her gaze, expecting a hit from her anytime soon.

But all I felt was a hug and she proceeded to press my head onto her shoulder. “It’s okay… Shh. It’s okay. You’re home now. Welcome home Yunju-ah.”

I stifled a sob and hung onto her in return. Then I just let it all out. Letting my emotions and cries out never felt so good because there is finally a sense of comfort that I can rely on. I don’t feel so lonely anymore.

Taehyun-ah, I wish you are here to hold me.

I miss you. Please tell me you’re doing okay.

---

“Oh myyyy!! Sis you’re home!!”

Startled from my nap, I half opened one of my eyes to see my little brother running up to me for another tight hug just like eomma’s.

“Yah you little jerk! Can’t you see I was sleeping?” I complained but nonetheless returned the same hug and a smile finally crept onto my face.

Man, when was the last time I smiled? I hope he doesn’t notice how swollen my eyes are right now.

“See! Told ya you’ll be back home and you can’t stand your job in the city! Where’s my money for the bet?” He reached out his hand and grinned in victory.

I glared at him and slapped his outreached hand HARD. Ignoring his cries, I lay down on bed again and covered my head with the blanket. I hear mom opening the door to see what the ruckus is about.

“Yah, Yunsook-ah, leave your sister alone! Let her sleep.” I hear concern in mom’s voice and I suddenly feel guilty for making her worry over me. I’m an adult now yet I still make her worry… What am I doing wrong in life? I mentally sighed.

“But I haven’t seen her in agessss!!” Yunsook attempted to hit my arm and whined. “Don’t you miss your baby bro??”

Defeated, I lifted the covers off my body and sat up straight. I glanced at him and pinched his cheeks. “Of course, I miss you THISSSSS MUCH!” I pinched even harder when I said that to emphasize my point.

“AhHH… YAH! Stop being so violent, sis. No guys are gonna like you!” He said teasingly. My grip on his cheeks loosened and he managed to pull away. Of course… No one is going to like me. I’m such a bad person. I don’t deserve to be loved anymore…

I hear my mom gasped and quickly pulled Yunsook out of the room. “Talk to your sister later, just let her sleep now, arrasseo! She’s tired!”

“Ah wae?! She can sleep all she wants tonight anyways!” Yunsook whined. Aigoo, is he really 19 years old already? Why does he still act like a high school kid?

“It’s okay eomma. I’ll get up and help you with dinner.” I said, slipping into my slippers and exiting my bedroom.

I faintly hear my brother asking my mom in confusion. “What happened to her? She never helps you with food!” But I just decided to walk away and let my mom explain everything.

---

3 days later

I sat in front of my laptop, browsing my email as per usual from my morning routine. I nibbled on my toast as my eyes scanned through for any important messages. My eyes widened when I got a reply from someone I was expecting to hear from. I eagerly clicked onto the email and read its contents.

‘Wow snap. This track is pretty awesome for a raw mix. Not perfect though, there are a few parts that’s a little off and weird, but nonetheless it’s catchy and the beat is quite creative. You can ask your friend to meet me at my private studio if he’s interested in editing and brushing up the track a little more. My private studio though… Not sure if our president will be happy to let some stranger use our space at work.

Anyways, how are you? I mean… We all didn’t really expect you to leave the company so suddenly. I’m sure you have your reasons though. I hope you’re doing well.

Well, talk to your friend and let me know soon!

Teddy’

I smiled at his words and quickly snatched my phone and sent a message to Sungbae to notify him about the great news. Ah… It definitely feels good to be able to help someone!

Just then, the doorbell rang. Who would be here today? Must be one of mom’s ajumma friends.

“Yunju-ah! Can you get the door? I’m changing! If it’s your Seoyun-imo tell her I’ll be right out!”

“Ye…” I replied and got my out of my chair and treaded to the front door. “Coming!!”

I stood frozen at the doorway once I have opened the door. A million thoughts ran through my mind.

Am I busted?

No… This is not supposed to happen.

My lips quivered and the person before me held out their hands and wrapped me in an embrace. I squeezed my eyes shut and automatically returned the hug.

“Hyejin-unnie…”

I was speechless. How did she know I’m back in my hometown?

My mom came out of her room, yelling out “Is it your imo??” before stopping on her track to see me hugging my dear friend from Seoul.

“Oh, Hyejin-ah!” My mom smiled at my friend as we released from our embrace.

“Annyeong imo!” Hyejin said to her cheerfully. She then turned to me. “YAH Yunju-ah! How can you possibly ignore all my calls and texts??? Did you know how hard it is to find you?”

I was so shocked that no noise came out of me. “H-How did you know-“

“I told her to come.”

Hyejin and I turned to my eomma. Dang it… I should have remembered my mom and Hyejin knew each other. Of course my mom would do something like this.

“Yes! Imo, you’re the best! Daebak!” Hyejin smiled and gave my mom two thumbs up. My mom simply grinned triumphantly and then left us alone. “Yah Yunju-ah, you have a lot of explaining to do!”

“Wait… Did you tell Taehyun where I am?” I asked.

Then I knew right away. Hyejin’s nervous eyes gave it away already.

Taehyun knows. And I don’t know if I should feel relieved or worried.

Author’s Note:

Aw shucks! Here’s a long awaited update. Sorry readers. I just got back from my trip and I was sick the first few days after I returned home. (Korea was amazing by the way!) I’m better now so I know I had to finish this chapter and post it ASAP.

As you can tell, I chose to not reveal who that mysterious guy on the train is, and just gave him a random name… That’s mainly because I’m going to end this fic soon so I don’t want any more unwanted drama than there already is... Mainly because I have ideas for another fic that I’m going to (hopefully) start soon… Perhaps within the next week or so… hahaha! It’ll be different from this fic though. Well, it’ll still be featuring WINNER members (of course since I love them so much) but I’m thinking either a KangNam or NamSong fic. I’ll decide on the pairing soon...

I’m absolutely in love with the 2014 s/s album like holy crap. That wait was worth it. RIGHT? Right. I’m also surprised at how beautifully packaged the album is! It’s like freaking ten pounds! Heavy as . But it’s very well put together so yeah. Worth all that money for sure!

Sorry, I’m blabbering again. A little jet lagged still. It’s 1am here and I’m still not sleepy. Sigh. This aint gonna be good.

Anyways, I hope all you lovely readers enjoyed this chapter. Please subscribe/comment/upvote!! :D I love you all!