Author's Note:

oh my goodness guys. so sorry that i'm posting this chapter so late >< no excuse, simply busy lol. on a side note, i think the songs chosen for this chapter is quite appropriate haha *self pat on shoulder* 

anyways, thank you all so much for your sweet comments, upvotes and i want to say a warm welcome to my new subscribers :D it is always appreciated ^^

okay i'll stop talking, enjoy this chapter!

OHHHH and did everyone see the teasers that YG is posting for WINNER? holy guacamole! Taehyun forever my bias. FOREVER!!!! Can't wait till July 7!!

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

I fainted.

I freaking fainted after what happened in the makeup room just now. Having wakened up, I realized I am now laying down on one of the sofas available in the room. I finally got up with much difficulty as I suddenly remembered how I have badly injured my shoulder moments ago. Glancing downwards to my left arm I noticed that it has already been gauzed and bandaged up. I attempted to roll my shoulder to relax my poor muscles from sleeping in a bad position but immediately regretted my decision as I yelped right away from the sharp pain. Holy smokes, I hope it doesn’t start bleeding again…

I rubbed my eyes lazily to observe the room but noticed no one inside. I must admit that I’m feeling slightly disappointed Taehyun wasn’t by my side when I have woken up. Nam Taehyun… Memories from earlier came flooding back into my mind once his name popped up in my head. I still remember the look he gave me when he helped Jihyun get up. I have never seen his eyes staring at me that way. That sorrowful gaze mixed with a hint of disappointment and regret. I hope he realized it wasn’t my doing but Jihyun’s, though it seems like it will take a lot of convincing to do. Speaking of Jihyun, where the heck did she go? Is she at the photo shoot with them? Oh hell no, that means she’s probably messing with them again. I quickly stood up and decided to walk out of the room but stopped once I heard voices nearing the opened entrance.

“I… I’m sorry on her behalf. I didn’t know what got into her mind.”

I froze at Taehyun’s voice and decided to lie down on the sofa again and pretended to sleep. Footsteps came inside the room and I immediately shut my eyes closed for dear life.

“It’s okay Taehyun oppa. It must’ve been a misunderstanding between me and her. I’m sure she will turn around once I talk to her more!”

My face twitched at Jihyun’s reply. Are you serious? Did I really just hear that answer coming from her? I feel sick in my stomach and I want to get up from my spot now to object her reply. However I decided to stay still and listen to their conversation first… Hey, it shouldn’t be considered eavesdropping on them right?

I hear Taehyun sigh but spoke again. “You’re right. I’m sure you two just need to get to know each other more. I mean… Who can resist being friends with you? You’re always so cheerful!” Taehyun paused and Jihyun giggled. “Well, again I’m sorry for what happened and I’m glad you’re alright.”

Jihyun laughed a little louder this time. “You’re so nice Taehyun oppa. I wish to have a boyfriend just like you! You’re so caring and…”

I drowned out her voice at that sentence and anger began boiling within me. But I it up and bit my lips to stop myself from getting up and protesting against her.

Taehyun didn’t speak and Jihyun continued. “But I know you won’t like someone like me…”

There was a very obvious pause and I knew for sure that Taehyun was trying to think of a nice way to reject her. Take that, !

“…t-that’s not true.”

My eyes shot open and I tried my best to stealthily take a glimpse at them. Ignoring the pain on my shoulder, I turned myself around slowly while trying my very best to avoid making any noises. With much effort, I laid on my front and lifted my head up to see what they’re up to. Once I got a good view of the two, I quickly clamped my mouth shut with my shaking hand in order to not scream in shock. Was it disappointment or sadness that I am currently feeling? I wasn’t sure. I didn’t believe what I am seeing. Tears collected at the brim of my eyes and I wished nothing more than to run outside of this room right now. However, my body is too shocked to even correspond with my own thinking. Just how pathetic can my life be?

I stared at the scene in front of me again. Jihyun was standing on her tippy toes right in front of Taehyun. With her arms gripped behind Taehyun’s neck, their lips were connected and they both had their eyes shut. After what seems like forever, Jihyun finally landed back on the heels of her feet and broke their kiss. Taehyun stared back at her with a longing gaze, a look that only I should be seeing. My lips quivered as I stared at them. They stared silently at each other, both faces decorated with a silly grin. Jihyun placed her index finger on his lips. “Shhh… Don’t tell Yunju-shi. This is a secret between us.” Taehyun simply smirked at her and cupped her face and leaned in to kiss her once again. My jaw dropped open and I had to consciously make a huge effort to suppress another cry.

I couldn’t take it longer. Taehyun is doing this behind my back thinking it is okay and that I won’t find out? Well, I got to stand up for myself once and for all! Standing up on my feet with much difficulty, I used all the energy left within me to charge against the duo. Pushing Jihyun away, Taehyun stood dumbfounded to have found out I was awake the whole time. I gaped at the male and pulled him towards me so I can give him a good slap. “Nam Taehyun, how dare you do this to me!”

Taehyun didn’t say anything. He merely stared at me, the shocked expression never left his face and his hand hovered over his cheek that has turned red after the collision with my hand. Tears involuntarily fell down my face and I angrily turned towards Jihyun. She simply smirked at me while looking at Taehyun and I quarrel. I sniffed and wiped my tears with the back of my sleeve. She must be so happy now seeing Taehyun and I argue. What I did next was unexpected as I shocked myself as well. Being such an active person, I thought I would have argued with them. However, that did not happen. In the end I simply left the room. I left the two of them alone so that I didn’t need to face them anymore. I didn’t want to see Jihyun. And most important of all, I didn’t want to face Taehyun. I don’t know what to say to him anymore. Was this his real personality? Did I expect something else from him? Perhaps I never knew him well enough and we are actually two different types of people in the world.

Jihyun’s words suddenly pierced in my mind again. “Oh yeah? I can change his mind. He already lets me call him oppa.” Ignoring the looks from the people in the hallway, I pushed my way out of the building and that was when everything in front of me dimmed.

“Wake up!”

The scene before me turned black and I abruptly jerked awake. The scene before me changed abruptly. Sitting up on my bed, I began panting hard and sweating from what I have just witnessed. My vision was blurry but my eye sight finally managed to focus again moments later.

“Are you okay?!”

I heard a voice filled with concern. I felt a hand shaking my shoulder and another hand caressing my face. Slowly and attentively, I observed my surrounding and realized that I am currently in my bedroom. I turned to the source of the voice to see Taehyun sitting by my bedside. Taehyun? Why is he here? That… JERK!

The next moment, I found myself colliding my hand with his cheek. “YOU SON OF A-! HOW DARE YOU!”

Taehyun’s eyes nearly fell out of its sockets as he held his hand against his own cheek and stared at me in disbelief. “Why the heck-“

I didn’t want to listen to his explanation at all and I unconsciously began hitting his chest to get him off my bed. “Why are you here? Get out! I don’t want to see you, you stupid cheater!”

“What do you mean??” He yelled in response. Purposely ignoring his protests, I continued what I was doing. Why is he acting like he didn’t know what he has done? “Calm down!!” He said and managed to grab both my wrists to stop me from hitting him. I stopped moving and looked at him with a pathetic look.

“How could you…” I said in between sobs. “How dare you k-kiss her… an-and now you’re here… pretending nothing happened?”

“What are you talking about? Who did I kiss?” Taehyun asked sincerely, shocked by my question. “Noona, were you just dreaming?”

I snapped into reality once I heard his suggestion. I straightened my back and stared at him. “Wait. What?” I looked around my room again. Was what happened or what I thought I saw really just a dream? Or am I dreaming right now? I turned to Taehyun again. “Yah, hit me!”

Taehyun seemed taken aback by my request. “What nonsense are you talking about now?” But without further ado, he lifted his hand and pinched my cheek till I finally yelped in pain.

“YAH YAH YAH STOP!” I demanded and he immediately chuckled at my response. Okay, it’s a definite confirmation that this is indeed reality.

He stopped pinching me but did flick my forehead before falling back on my bed and laughing his head off. “HAHAHA! Oh my gosh noona you’re so silly! Are you really supposed to be older than me?”

I glared at him while rubbing my forehead. “Why do you always flick my forehead? I probably lost a gazillion brain cells from your random attacks already!”

“Oh. Then I really should stop otherwise you won’t have many brain cells left.” Taehyun attempted to keep a straight face and said his statement as a matter of factly.

“YAH! NAM TAEHYUN!!” I exclaimed and attempted to hit him. But my arm could only reach so far as my shoulder began to hurt again. I glanced at my shoulder and just like in my dream, it is bandaged up but I am just in a different setting right now. What the heck? Weird semi déjà vu? “Watch your mouth!”

“Arasseo arasseo!” Taehyun said in defeat. “But noona, what were you dreaming of? You said I was cheating on you??”

“Uh… Nothing.” I pouted. A billion thoughts ran through my mind right then. Why the heck did such an absurd dream appear in my mind? It was so morbidly surreal that I had to question myself twice about it. Trying to let my mind free, I quickly changed the topic. “How the heck did I end up here from the makeup room just now?”

Taehyun frowned and lifted his hand up to feel the temperature on my forehead. “Hmm… No fever. You sure you don’t remember?” I shook my head. “Well, pretty much after you injured your shoulder, you kind of just fled out of the room. I tried calling you after Jinwoo hyung told me about it, but you never picked up. So I came here immediately after our shoot and saw you sleeping in bed. Speaking of which, you got to take care of your injuries! Good thing you only got a scratch and I bought a bunch of first aid stuff before coming here.”

“Oh… Now that you’ve said it, I kind of recall what I did just now.” I said, biting my lips in shame. “Sorry, you must’ve been worried. I was just…angry and shocked.”

He held my hand tightly after my words and sat closer to me in bed. “Please…at least let me know where you’re going next time, okay? I was worried to death! You should’ve seen my face when I couldn’t reach you. I hope the photographer would approve of my pictures just now. I never thought it’d be so hard to force a smile on my face you know.”

I chuckled at his blabber and caressed his cheek with my fingers. “Sorry… But I was so mad… And hurt just now. I wasn’t thinking properly. It seemed like you were taking her side and you didn’t believe me.”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have over reacted either.” Taehyun spoke slowly, glancing down at his fingers. “Jihyun told me what happened. She said she slipped again and pulled you down with her.” I nodded at his response. Hmm, what is Jihyun planning for now? Why would she just tell him the truth so easily? She must have a change of plans I just know it!

I turned to Taehyun again and continued listening to him. “To be honest, I was confused at the scene. I was so silly to think otherwise and I don’t know what got into me but once I realized what I did, I regretted it. I regretted every single moment of it. I missed you so much and the idea of you being mad at me is simply…very dreadful and horrendous. I didn’t want you to be in pain and the least I want is for you to suffer alone. I didn’t know what to do. I was in total panic mode because I still had the shoot and I…” He paused to finally catch his breath. Did he really just make that whole speech in one breath? Crazy guy. But maybe that’s why I like him. He finally pursed his lips again and went on. “I…accidentally told the boys about our relationship.”

That totally wasn’t something that I expected him to say! “You WHAT?” I asked right away from the new information he had just given me.

He bit his lips shyly and nodded at me. “I did and I’m sorry! I just… spilled it out suddenly. I went on crazy and panic mode knowing that I won’t be able to see you right away. And the fact that you didn’t answer your calls made me even more concerned!” He pouted at me. “Don’t worry it’s only the members who know about it. I made sure no one else heard it. Well, I guess Jihyun knows about it too. But I swear that’s it!“

“Oh man… Taehyunnnn!!” I half whined and half squealed as I tried my best to process words out of my mouth, filtering all the unnecessary things I wanted to say at the moment. No lies here, I’m actually a little happy that he is keen on admitting it because it just seems like our relationship is more ‘real’ now if that made any sense. I guess I was worried that Taehyun wouldn’t want to admit to anything in the first place but him confirming it with s made my mind feel at ease. At least Jihyun knows that she should back off from Taehyun now in front of the boys at least. “How did they react?” I asked, curious about the members’ reactions.

“Well,” Taehyun looked up thoughtfully, placing his chin on his palm that is resting on his knee, “they kind of figured it out already.”

“Oh…I didn’t know they’re that keen on picking these things up.” I raised an eyebrow and crossed my arms. To be brutally honest, the fact they knew took me by surprise. I can already picture the scene of what the members will do. I expect Mino to put on a show while flinging his arms all around and running around the room going a little crazy once he found out, Jinwoo will simply stand in place with his mouth gaped open, Seunghoon will most likely join Mino with whichever routine he was doing, and Seungyoon is going to be the only one who is sane enough to say something coherent.

“It’s true. Apparently they made a bet about it and now Mino is $10 more broke while Seungyoon and Seunghoon earned themselves some victory points.”

I chuckled at the bet that the boys made. Oh how silly they can be sometimes! Although the atmosphere between Taehyun and I is pleasant, I couldn’t help myself but to think why I indeed dreamt of something so bizarre and obscure earlier. Was it because I don’t trust Jihyun being around Taehyun? Or, is it because I don’t trust Taehyun? Come to think of it, it has only been a little over a day since we confessed our feelings for each other. Not that time matters much for us as our feelings are mutual and we both know what we want, but a little reassurance would definitely be better. Plus, his actions from earlier is starting to give me doubts about himself.  

Realizing the last meal I had was probably over twelve hours ago, I slowly got up from my bed. Taehyun followed right behind me into the kitchen. Looking into the fridge, I only found some instant meals that only needed to be microwaved. On a regular basis, this would be the last thing I want to eat but today has been hectic and I’m starving so this will make do. Trying to keep negative thoughts away from my mind, I began another conversation. “You don’t have any other schedule for tonight?”

“I’m planning to spend time with you instead.”

I glanced at him. Now that’s no good… The least I want is for him to ditch s just to ‘care’ for me. Especially because I am perfectly fine and am able to handle taking care of myself as well. “You know I’m fine right? It’s just a little scrape on my shoulder. You should probably attend your schedule. What is it anyways? More recording?” He first hesitated but slowly began to nod to my question. I shook my head disapprovingly at him. “Yah, you should attend your schedule! Do it for yourself and your members! And of course, there are fans who are-“

“But I want to look after you!”

I chuckled at his response. “You think I’m a kid? I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”

“But your shoulder-“

“My shoulder is fine, for your info, mister.” I said and rolled my shoulder around to show him that it is fine. “Stop thinking I’m a kid and you want to take care of me!”

“Okay, I get it!” He suddenly blurted out, almost giving me a hand to stop me from talking further. Geez, I’m simply trying to get him on the right track with his career and he’s giving me attitude? “I just wanted to spend time with you, is that wrong?”

I stood astonished at his outburst. Usually I would just let it off but I have been having a bad day today too after what I encountered with Jihyun, so I decided to make another remark. “Why yes! Shouldn’t you at least care about your fans more? Your members? They’re all waiting for you at the damn studio! Heck, shouldn’t you be more aware of our boss? It’s most likely bad news if he finds you skipping out on these recording sessions! You should know how hard it is to pre-book that room since all YG artists needs it!”

“And do you know who it is that’s making me skip these recording sessions? It’s you!” Taehyun angrily stood up and glared at me.

I answered in disbelief, “I never told you to do that for me. The least I want is to be your burden.”

“I was just trying to care for you! I felt bad for what I did today!” Taehyun said hesitantly.

I snickered at his response. “Oh yeah? First you push me away from Jihyun and now you want me back after you realized you did wrong? Tell me Taehyun, what are you even thinking? What do you even want? Now you’re trying to ‘take care’ of me just so you can redeem yourself from what you did!?”

He didn’t respond but gave me a look that made me regret everything that I have just said. I sighed frustratedly, leaning against the chair located conveniently right beside me. I suddenly didn’t have the strength to stand up anymore. What got into me just now? I know I shouldn’t have said what I just did but I somehow blabbed it all out in front of the person that should be the last one to know. Taehyun turned towards the door to leave but I immediately grabbed onto his arm. “Taehyun-ah. I’m sorry. I didn’t know what I was saying-“

“Enough!” He yelled while giving me a harsh look. “So you finally said what you wanted to say right? That I’m not good enough for you?”

I shook my head. “No… That’s not what I meant. I know you’re trying to-“

“Just shut up, okay! If you want me to leave, I’ll take my leave now. And we should probably just stop caring for each other anyways because no one appreciates what the other does anyways.” Taehyun hissed out, his back facing me. I wanted to see his face one last time before he stepped out but I couldn’t. Was he crying? I couldn’t tell, because my vision was already blurred from my own tears.

After Taehyun left my apartment and angrily slammed my door shut, I couldn’t take it anymore. I broke down in tears and sat in the middle of the living room floor, huddling against my knees while letting all my emotions out. I really didn’t know this would happen. I was wrong. I should have watched my words better. I shouldn’t have doubted Taehyun’s actions this afternoon since he already apologized and is trying to make up to me. Why the heck did I have to ruin everything once again? I silently wept and blamed myself for everything that is collapsing over me.

The microwave was beeping its annoying sound, signaling that my dinner is ready. However, my starving appetite no longer bothered me and I have no intention of getting up to retrieve the food either. I lazily leaned my head back against the arm rest of the sofa, repeating the scene just now in my head over and over again. I angrily slammed my fist against the hard wood floor. It was painful but I wanted to let my anger out as well so it didn’t matter at the moment. Should I chase Taehyun outside? I know I need to apologize. But no… He probably would want some time alone right now. I sighed, disheartened by the events that happened today.

I glanced over at my phone that is unoccupied in the corner. I suddenly remembered Jihuyn’s voicemail. That was when I realized I am losing. All I’m currently doing is simply pushing Taehyun away towards her. Discontent with my stubborn actions, I sat in silence, trying to make myself think straight. More tears flowed down my cheeks but I managed to somehow clear my mind and eventually stopped my tears from forming. I know I can’t give up just yet. I like Taehyun and he likes me too. I can’t just let someone else intrude into what we have because of some stupid misunderstanding. I know I just got to man up somehow and talk to Taehyun again, given that I have a clearer mindset. Maybe I should leave him be tonight and give him a call tomorrow. He probably doesn’t even want to talk to me now anyways. With a new resolution in my mind, I walked myself back into my room and decided to sleep off the frustration burning within me.