CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

I wasn’t sure how I fell asleep last night but I managed to take a shower, change into my pajamas, and fall asleep in bed with my phone plugged into the charger. Now this may sound like a typical night to you, but it’s already a wonderful start to the much dreaded morning. Yawning, I rolled to the side of my bed and reached out to grab my phone from the night stand. My phone buzzed and I quickly unlocked it to reveal a text message from Taehyun.

‘Good morning! Kkk… Wish I can see you this morning but I’m off to the studio to record now! ^3^ miss you already!’

I chuckled out loud from the text but didn’t reply him. I placed the phone down and stared at the ceiling. I let out a sigh and rubbed my eyes in an attempt to get the sleepiness away. I finally sat up and stretched my arms and back before lifting the rest of the cover off my body.  My feet touched the carpet for a bit, trying to find the pair of slippers on the floor and then quickly walked myself to the washroom to wash up.

Staring at my reflection, I wasn’t even sure if I should be bothered by my eye bags, dark circles or swollen eye lids. It was to be expected since I did cry myself to sleep last night. What a sight! My disheveled hair definitely adds a nice touch to my crazy appearance this morning. I lazily sighed at myself and finally ran the tap water under my toothbrush then began brushing my teeth after adding an adequate amount of toothpaste. When I was done washing my face as well, I grumpily walked out to the kitchen and chugged down a glass of water.

Ah! I almost forgot the most important event for this morning. Rushing to get my phone, I immediately dialed a familiar number.

“Well. This is it Yunju...” I began speaking to myself. “This is for the better.”

Within a few more seconds, the line was picked up. “Oh Yunju-shi? Well this call is unexpected… Why are you calling me so early this morning?”

“Ah yes… Good morning Mrs. Park. Did I catch you at a bad time?”

“I can talk for a bit. What can I help you with?”

“I was wondering if you’re able to meet up this morning… There is something important I want to discuss with you.”

“Oh?” Mrs. Park paused and I hear of some paper shuffling in the background. “I’m not sure if I can meet you so soon… Can’t you just tell me the issue over the phone?”

“Well…” I tried to think of the proper words that I have rehearsed in my mind last night but it seems like my tongue is tied in a knot.

“Well Yunju-shi? Go ahead. I don’t have all day you know.”

I shut my eyes as if in pain and then opened them again with determination. Alright Yunju. Just do it. It’s now or never. “I want to inform you that… I’m resigning from my job with YG entertainment.”

There was a pause and then I heard Mrs. Park exclaim, “WHAT?” I had to lift the phone off my ears from the loud voice and then placed it back when I assume it is safe to listen again. “Yunju-shi, what are you talking about? I thought you love this job!”

I sighed. “I… I do, Mrs. Park. And I… I can’t even put into words how much I want to thank you for giving me the opportunity to work with such amazing people.”

“Then what’s going on??” She continued, with confusion still strong within her voice.

I hesitated for a bit and then resumed as my memory finally returned with the speech that I have rehearsed last night. “Mrs. Park, I’m sure you remember what happened a few days ago at the hospital.”

“You mean your asthma attack?”

“Yes… I… I believe it’s best for my condition if I move back to my home town. After all, the air is better there with less pollution.” I explained, trying to hold back from telling her the truth. I managed to calm myself down from breathing in and out in a controlled rhythm.

“I….I don’t know what to say.” Mrs. Park finally said. She sighed. “Well, Yunju-shi, if that’s what you want then I can’t stop you. It is your life after all. But you have such great talent and you get along so well with everyone in the company. I really don’t want to lose you.”

I bit my lips. I didn’t even realize how hard I was gripping my phone until my knuckles have turned white and is starting to hurt my fingers. “I… I know. I do like the job but… I just think… I should treat my asthma condition first.”

Mrs. Park pondered for a moment in silence. “I understand your situation.” She then sighed again. “But are you sure Yunju-shi? Is this what you really want?”

HELL NO. This isn’t what I want! I want to stay in Seoul! I want to stay in YG and continue with my beloved job. I want to stay here with Taehyun so I can support him and his future… I want the best for him. I can’t be selfish and stay here. I know the boys can make it big. I can’t let them down just because of me…Just because of a young silly woman who happens to have fallen in love with a certain vocalist.  I swallowed hard and finally answered her. “I’m positive, Mrs. Park. I’ve decided to quit YG.”

“Alright Yunju-shi… I’ll… I’ll let sajangnim know about your resignation.” Mrs. Park said disappointedly. “But if you happen to change your mind please do not hesitate to let me know, okay? Promise?”

I chuckled at her. “Neh, arrasseo Mrs. Park. Thank you for taking such good care of me. Shall I give my resignation letter to you?”

“Ah… It’s okay, there’s no need.” She dismissed it. Awesome. Then I don’t need to go into the YG building later and bare the chance of bumping into Taehyun. “Now I feel bad for our artists… To lose such a good makeup artist like you. Stay healthy and strong Yunju-shi. I’ll support whatever you do in the future. Good luck!”

After what seemed like forever, we finally hung up.  I sat lifelessly on the empty chair and rested my face in my palms.

One blink.

Two blinks.

One breath in.

One breath out.

I stared at the ceiling and attempted to fan my hand at my eyes to stop any tears from falling.

“Call Mrs. Park. Check.”

I ran my fingers through my hair and got up to walk over to my room. Kneeling down, I retrieved a suitcase under my bed and opened it up.

“Step two. Time to get packing.”

---

‘Attention! The train to Busan will be departing in 15 minutes. Please be on standby behind the yellow line and get on safely once the train arrives.’

My ears perked up at the announcement and I clutched onto my train ticket. Dragging my heavy luggage with the other hand, I walked towards the platform and waited patiently for my train to arrive.

I honestly cannot believe I’m leaving Seoul. I contemplated whether or not to see Taehyun before I go… I wanted to at least steal a look at him from afar (which I told myself is absolutely not creepy at all) but decided against it since it’ll be much harder for me to leave. Plus, it’ll be even harder to break the news to him in person. I just hope he’ll forget about me once I leave. Most importantly, it’s not like I had a choice of telling him about my decision. If I told him I’m quitting, he’ll probably freak the out. So I’m opting for this choice: to let Mrs. Park break the news to him so that I don’t have to do it.

I know, I’m a selfish person. I can’t even break the news to my loved one but I believe if I did then it’ll put the both of us in much more pain. And what’s the explanation that I can say to him? I know I cannot let him and the other knows about Jihyun’s threat. It’s for the better. What I did is for the better. I just know it.

I wonder if he will be disappointed in me. Probably. But I’m also hoping that this disappointment will let him forget about me even sooner. I don’t mind anymore at this point as long as Jihyun is not threatening the boys then I’m satisfied with my actions now.

I also thought of telling Hyejin and Bom about the real reason before leaving. However, knowing both their personalities, they will definitely tell everyone- and I mean the whole YG building will know about what Jihyun did. They will most likely break the news to Taehyun right away and make him stop me from leaving. And that is the last thing I want. I’ll think of a way to tell them of my whereabouts later.

I keep my words well.

I cannot let anyone know about my conversation with Jihyun.

Heck, I cannot let anyone see the picture that Jihyun took of Taehyun and I.

Is what I’m doing the correct decision? I don’t know... It’s a gamble but I’m willing to risk everything I have for Taehyun and his future. I know this is the only option I have to keep him safe.

I boarded on the train right away when it arrived and sat myself down quietly. I gulped my tears away, ignoring the strange look from the person beside me. I couldn’t care less. I have many more things to worry about. Besides, I feel like I’m already used to receiving strange looks from strangers recently anyways. Whether they’re from fan girls outside the YG building, pedestrians on the street during my asthma attack, or from the little date with Taehyun last night since we had to wear disguise, it doesn’t bother me anymore.

Everything is going to change now. I’m going back home and my life will start anew. I’m ending my life in Seoul, and will begin a new journey in Busan. I sure hope my decision to do so will go smoothly.

The train began moving and I try to relax into my seat but with all the thoughts in my mind, all I could do was to stare out the window, watching the afternoon Seoul scenery scatter past my eyes. And I tried not to blink, because I want to take in as much of the scenery before me so I can savour and treasure all the memories it has rewarded me.

My phone suddenly rang and I quickly peered at it to see who is calling. My grip around my phone tightened when Hyejin’s name popped up on the screen. My heart froze. She must have found out from Mrs. Park. Heck, the whole makeup department probably knows by now. I quickly rejected the call and shoved my phone aside. A few moments later, my phone rang again with Hyejin’s name flashing brightly on the screen. My lips thinned and I rejected the call one more time. This time, Hyejin left me a voicemail.

Reluctant to check the voicemail but full of curiosity at the same time, I decided to listen to what she had to say.

‘You have one new voice message. First new message: YUNJU! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING? YOU’RE QUITTING YG AND YOU DIDN’T EVEN TELL ME ABOUT IT? WHAT KIND OF A FRIEND ARE YOU?’ There was an evident pause and I hear her unsteady breath going louder and louder. ‘You’re leaving Seoul huh? I see. What’s going to happen to Taehyun? Why are you so selfish? I can’t believe this. AISH! DON’T EVEN THINK OF IGNORING ME! I expect a GOOD explanation from you! CALL ME BACK AND DON’T YOU DARE LEAVE SEOUL OR I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN!... End of messages.’

I didn’t know whether I should laugh at her raging at me or cry from even more burden being added to my heart. Tears involuntarily dropped down my face. I sniffled and wiped the fallen tears with the back of my hand.

I’m such a disappointment. Now Hyejin hates me. And I can already predict what Bom-unnie would say to me too. Oh goodness, I don’t think I will even be able to handle what Taehyun will say to me. I sighed and continued staring at my phone although the screen have already out.

Out of the corner of my eyes, I see a hand holding some tissue paper beside me. Startled, I glanced at the stranger and noticed that he is offering me napkins for my miserably sad and teary face. He looked at me and then at the tissue paper, insisting that I take it from him. I politely nodded and retrieved the item from his hand.

“Thanks…” I said, dabbing the thin piece of paper on my face.

“No problem. Seems like you needed it.”

I looked at him again, startled by the deep voice coming from a guy with such a cute and young face. How can someone with that face have such a manly voice? It just doesn`t make sense! I cocked up an eyebrow and continued looking out the window.

“So… Do you want to talk about it?”

The stranger next to me spoke again. Turning towards him, I see him looking at me again. Looking left and right, seeing that no one is paying attention to him, I pointed a finger at myself, silently asking if he was talking to me. He nodded and chuckled. “Who else would I be talking to?”

Okay… What a weirdo. I appreciate the gesture but can’t he see I’m sulking here yet he wants me to talk to him about my problems? What kind of person does that? Shouldn’t he know better than to intrude on another’s privacy? I don’t even know him! So in the end, I decided to ignore him. I just tried my best to give him a polite smile and turned away while putting on my earphones to listen to some music. Looking carefully from my playlist, I decided to play Bom unnie’s Don’t Cry and relaxed as the music began to play.

“…oh-kay…” He finally said, noticing that I wasn’t going to talk to him further and he retrieved both his hands up in a ‘don’t shoot me’ manner and cleared his throat and pulled his headphones over his ears.

Yes. Mission accomplished. No weirdo talking to me woohoo!

But boy was I wrong. A minute later, he tapped me on the shoulder and offered me some chips from the bag he was holding. “Want some? It’s a new flavour and it’s awesome!” He demonstrated what he wanted to me do by taking a piece out and popping it into his mouth as he makes a satisfying chewing face. “Mm, crunchy too!”

I gape at him with my mouth open. Sadness is finally long forgotten within me while I stare at him in confusion. Maybe he’s simply being polite… Just refuse him with a smile! “Uh, thanks but I’m okay.”

“Oh? You don’t like chips?” He immediately shoved the chips in my hands. “Hold it for me for a sec!” Then he proceeded to bend down to retrieve his backpack and pulled out something else. “Here! Do you like chocolates? Sweets should help bring your mood up! Try some!” He offered, switching the bag of chips in my hands with the said chocolate bar.

The corner of my mouth twitched and I eyed him suspiciously.

“You don’t like chocolates either?” His eyes bulged out with concern and for a moment he looks absolutely worrisome over my behaviour. He was about to search through his bag again (for more food to offer me, I assumed) so I quickly took the chocolates.

“Uh… Thanks. You’re too kind.” I guess I might as well accept it so he won’t continue this craziness of his by offering me food.

“You’re welcome! My roommates always offer me food when I’m upset and it usually helps. Thought it’d help you too!” He smiled at me brightly when I accepted his chocolates and he continued eating his chips. Nice. I think I can go back to my music now. I lifted my earphones up and placed it into my ear.

“So uh… Why are you going to Busan?”

I rolled my eyes in frustration when I heard his voice again. I swear if I don’t have a liking to deep manly voices that I would have punched him straight in the face moments ago. But damn, this voice of his is what’s keeping me sane. Just his voice. And perhaps that cute face of his. But that’s it. I turned around and stared at him as he goofily lifted his cap off his head, shook out his hair and placed the cap back on again. He smiled nervously and turned to look at me again, expecting an answer.

“Busan is my hometown.” I simply replied. I figured if I keep my answers short and simple then he’ll take it as a hint that I don’t have the intention to talk to him further. And hopefully, with my fingers crossed, that he’ll finally leave me alone.

“Really?” He asked excitedly. “You don’t seem like you’re from Busan though. You seem more of a… Seoul girl.”

I shrugged.

“So you’re visiting your family then I guess?” He continued.

“Well, yes.”

“Ah… I see.” He said, doing that lifting the cap off his head thing again and then putting it back on a second later. Seeing that he stopped talking, I took it as a sign that it’s the end of our conversation. I stare out the window again but felt a presence coming closer to me seconds later. I turned to the stranger again but my body immediately jolted backwards when I noticed that he was leaning in towards me. “Aren’t you gonna ask why I’m going to Busan too?”

Taken aback, I couldn’t even think straight and blinked numerously while placing a hand over my heart to calm my quickened heartbeat. “W…Why are you going to Busan then?”

“A-ha! Thought you’d never ask.” He pointed a finger up as if an idea popped into his mind and then he rubbed his hands together, prepping for a long explanation. Oh dear, what have I gotten myself into? “Well… Busan is my hometown too. Surprise! Haha!”

I simply stared at him speechless. Man, this dude definitely got some guts. I cannot even pinpoint what kind of personality he has. Weird for sure, but also somehow very oddly genuine too. Plus, it seems like he’s the type to laugh at his own jokes.

“I see. That’s nice.”

“I guess we have something in common then.” He continued smiling. “What were you doing in Seoul then?” My mind immediately remembered the chaos with Taehyun, YG and Jihyun and my expression turned sour. The weirdo looked concerned. “Uh oh. Did something bad happen?”

“Uh. Well I guess you could say that.” I said, looking at the stranger. He simply placed his head on his palm and stared at me attentively. Ah heck why not! I should totally just tell a complete stranger about my miserable life! “I’ll put it this way. I had a great job. My dream job, actually. But everything turned a complete 180 degrees when I met… Someone whom I fell in love with. Then there was a third party involved and I was forced to quit my job and to return to my hometown.”

“Ah… I see, that happens man. It’s life!” I looked at the guy in front of me and he simply nodded understandingly. “I guess we really are kind of on the same boat.” He turned towards me again. “I went to Seoul to pursue my dream job of being a rapper.” At this sentence, he had my full attention already as I did use to work with a music company. “Except something happened and I have to return to Busan immediately. It’s a shame. But I’m not going to give up just yet. I truly believe my opportunity will come around sooner or later.” He then proceeded to lift his fist up in the air and then clapped happily.

I gaped at his face that screams enthusiasm and clapped with him suddenly. It’s almost like his happy-go-lucky personality is slowly seeping into me too. “Dang, good for you. I’m glad you’re not giving up.”

“Then you shouldn’t give up too!”

I swallowed hard once his words hit me. “It’s not that easy.”

“Why are you looking at it so complicatedly?” He questioned, looking genuinely confused. “I’m sure there’s a way out of the situation and it’s not that bad. Everything is under your control. It’s your life after all. No one can take it away from you.”

So… I’m getting a life lecture from a stranger on the train back to my hometown? What a joke! “Easy to say, hard to do.”

“Well you don’t know if you don’t try!” He continued to encourage me.

“I DID!” I exclaimed in frustration. “How would you know how I feel if you didn’t go through what I went through? You think I want to leave Seoul huh? Leave my dream job? Leave my friends? Leave my boyfriend? It’s the last thing I want but I was threatened okay? So stop trying to teach me what is right and what is wrong and mind your own god damn business!”

The stranger finally shut up and stared at me awkwardly. He pursed his lips and made a ‘zippering up his lips’ gesture and placed his headphones over his ears. How dare he?!

The man avoided my gaze by looking anywhere in the train but my direction. I suddenly felt bad for yelling at him but I guess I finally achieved what I wanted- peace and no weirdo stranger talking to me. I ignored his uncomfortable presence and continue to stare out the window.

And then I received another call from my phone. I glanced down and my eyes widened.

It was Nam Taehyun.

My body trembled and I suddenly felt very nervous. Should I pick it up? Should I reject it? Or should I just ignore it? But I can’t hide forever… I stared at the phone, unsure whether to pick it up or not.

Just then, the stranger beside me snatched my phone away and made a quick one swept motion on the screen to accept the call. My mouth opened as I stare at him in fear. I swear… That I’ll kill that lame human being once we are off the train. He casually brought my phone up to his ears and said, “Hello!” He then proceeded to put the call on speaker mode.

“Yunju noo- Wait what? Who’s this?”

My heart broke and body collapsed once I heard Taehyun’s voice. … how the did this stranger dare to answer my call?

The stranger looked at me. “Ah. Yunju… Yunju-shi?” He pointed at me to double check whether the name is really looking for me. I simply slow nodded. He then mouthed the words ‘boyfriend?’ and he received another nod from me.

“Who are you answering her phone? Let me speak with her!” Taehyun’s tone definitely doesn’t sound like a pleasant one.

“She doesn’t want to talk to you right now! Bye!” Then the guy hung up my phone and even shut it off.

I gaped at the guy and he simply returned my phone to me with a smile plastered on his face. Why the did I just let him do that? Now Taehyun might even have a misunderstanding with me! I was about to question the guy but he already brought his hand up to my face to silence me. “It’s for your own good. I want you to think about your situation first before talking to him again. If you were to talk to him now you probably won’t say anything good or productive anyways.”

I didn’t even know what to say to him anymore. So I just sat there staring at him speechless.

A/N: a yo lovely readers! First of all, I am so sorry for posting so little recently. I’ve been very busy and I’m actually on vacation in Asia right now. (I wrote this chapter on the plane haha) I’ll be away for two weeks and I honestly can’t promise whether I can make another update during my trip. (I’m going to Korea next week by the way, and I got tickets to YG family concert MUAHAHAHHAHAHA Nam Taehyun wait for me!!)

Anyways, I know there’s absolutely no Taehyun in this chapter but I felt the need to write this portion, revealing more of Yunju’s thinking. Also, I know absolutely nothing about Busan and whether there is less pollution compared with Seoul. But for the purpose of the story, let’s just all pretend it is, okay? ^^

By the way, that stranger on the train… can anyone guess who it is based on the description I’ve written? Well, some parts of it are made up (like him being from Busan and stuff) and it’s an absolute random choice actually but I’ve been paying attention to this certain person a lot more recently… kekeke. Props to you if you know who it is. Make a guess in the comments below :D

ANDDDDDD I can either make this ‘stranger’ a complete cameo with a little too many lines or… we can have a completely new character… not sure what you guys want though so please let me know too!

Until next time everyone! And if you’re all interested, I’ll make a side note about my experience at the YG concert.