A/N: English, Korean, Mandarin

AP EXAMS ARE DONE WHOOPEEE (I bombed, but that's another story)

I am the worst at writing sad stories.

The WORST.

"Do you want to tempt fate and walk to the office with me?" You grin, mischievous.

He glances at the time. "Sure, noona. Let's do that."

***

"Sehun-ah, just walk beside me and people will naturally avoid you," you tell him.

"So this is what it feels like to be ordinary," he comments, giving you a sly look from inside his hood.

"I'll have you know, people call me the Mona Lisa of Weekly Idol," you joke, attempting to make light of your plight.

"But isn't Mona Lisa supposed to be pretty?" he asks innocently.

"Are you implying something, you rascal?" You punch him playfully, making him stagger. "Oh. Sorry," you apologize, unabashed.

"Geez, noona, I was kidding. You're pretty, ok? Aish, you hit like a guy," he complains. "It hurts more than D.O. hyung's punches."

"I can't see Pororo hitting anyone," you say, laughing. "I'd like to witness that once."

"He mostly hits Baekhyun and Chen because they troll him too much."

"Ah, so I'll see it sometime soon," you realize.

You both laugh.

***

The office isn't too near the dorm, but to Sehun, the walk is much too short.

"Have fun on your schedule, Sehun-ah, and tell the members I'll see them later. Araso?"

"Araso," he nods, subdued. Just as you turn to walk away, he blurts, "Finish everything quickly and call us, Jagi noona."

You turn around with a smile on your lips but he's already walking quickly off campus. "Stay out of sight, Sehun-ah," you remind him pointlessly.

***

You're called almost immediately into the dean's office. "Jin Ae-ah, where have you been? We have been trying to reach you for days, but you have a new number and you're never on campus," he says without greeting. He looks worried.

"Annyeonghaseyo… I finished all my exams so I didn't have any classes. And last night-"

"Never mind, Jin Ae, just sit down for a bit, araji?" The dean sits down, too, and sighs deeply as he looks at the letter in his hand.

"What's this? Not my exam scores?" you ask as you sit down cautiously.

He doesn't answer.

***

"Sehun-ah, where were you?" Kai yawns. "It's too early to be going out."

"I wanted bubble tea," the maknae shrugs.

"Yah, Sehun, we're going to be late if you're not ready in ten minutes," Kyungsoo nags. "We still need to get our makeup done."

"Araso, hyung, don't worry."

"Kai-yah, go see if M is up," Suho calls from inside.

"Ah, wae-"

"Palli, Kai-yah, you know how they are," Baekhyun says also, toweling his hair as he emerges from the bathroom.

"Fine," the lean dancer groans, rolling off the couch. "Fine."

***

"Jin Ae-ah…"

You don't answer when the dean calls your name, too shocked to react.

He puts the letter gently in front of you.

"When did it happen?" the question seems not to issue from your mouth. Your voice sounds strange to you. Emotionless. There should be tears, but why are your eyes so dry?

"Three days ago."

You had gotten a new SIM card that afternoon.

"And the funeral?"

"You were out of contact, so it was conducted by family friends yesterday."

Your head falls forward as you clench your eyes. Ma, appa, I'm sorry.

The dean begins to speak again, but all you can do is stare at the air in front of you.

"About the exams…" he says cautiously, avoiding you with his eyes. "You passed all of them with distinction. As for the new courses you have chosen, I will speak to your professors. You have more than enough capability to self-study. They will only expect you to come in on assessment days."

You nod, but "What does that matter?" you whisper quietly. I'm alone now.

***

"Aish, Kris hyung, wake up!" Kai groans, shaking the leader.

"Ah, stop," the blonde complains, hiding under the blanket. "Two minutes."

"Hyung, we're going to be late!"

"Wu Yi Fan, you get your out of bed," Luhan orders, removing the toothbrush from his mouth as he looks in on the scene.

"Fine…" Kris moans, desolately. "Help me up?" He holds out his hands to Kai, who turns on his heel and leaves the room to crash on the couch.

"Ah, wae," Kris whimpers.

***

Someone accosts you just as you walk up to the dorm entrance. You've seen him somewhere. After a moment of recollection, you remember seeing his face in the dressing room last night, amongst all the drama.

"Lee Jin Ae?" The man asks.

You just look at him. It requires so much energy just to keep standing, never mind being courteous.

Seeing no recognition in your eyes, he introduces himself for what seems like the first time in eternity. "I'm Park Jin Young, the owner of JYP Entertainment."

Sluggishly, your brain contrives to bring up a thought. Dohyuk's company.

"Would you be interested in auditioning for the entertainment industry?" he continues, unfazed by the lack of response.

No, you almost say, but why not? The reasons why you would have said no are no longer valid. You're alone now. And what is privacy, anyway? Privacy is what kept you out of the loop until too late. privacy.

***

After a short talk, you enter the dorm.

"Jin Ae-ah," one of the girls gathered in the entrance hall calls chummily. It's obvious that they want to know what just transpired outside. Unable to deal with them, you leave again amidst curious whispers, dialing Kris's number. It goes straight to voicemail and you can't help but keen quietly before you hang up. Walking blindly, you go wherever your feet take you.

***

"Wiwat."

"Oh? Jewel!" Wiwat bounds over to where you're standing just inside the door. "I've missed you!"

"You saw me yesterday," you remind him dully, letting your bag drop on the floor.

"Yeah, but- Are you alright?" he asks, suddenly alarmed. "You look bad. Worse than when you first came. Did something happen again?"

"My parents died in a car accident three days ago," you tell him emotionlessly. Your voice sounds to you like that of a news anchor.

Stunned, he stands stock still as you shed your hoodie and begin to wrap your hands.

"So you're not… ok." She should be breaking down right now. Why isn't she?

"The people who have taken care of me for my whole life died three days ago," you repeat yourself in monotone. You finish wrapping your hands and throw out a couple of jabs to warm up.

"The police tried to call me. They emailed. Guess what, Wiwat? I was too busy feeling sorry for myself to notice." You execute a vicious kick at nothing. The air seems to mock you as your foot whistles through it.

"The funeral was yesterday," you add, as if as an afterthought, and begin to attack the punching bag.

"Jewel…"

"Don't pity me. Don't you dare pity me. How can you pity someone who can't even cry after losing her parents?" You clench your teeth and punish the bag. "I didn't contact them for the entire week because I was sulking." Your hastily wrapped hands begin to chafe. "I didn't even attend the funeral! You know... I should just die, right now." This last comes accompanied by a particularly rough punch, as a result of which your knuckles begin to bleed.

"Jewel!" Wiwat rushes over, finally unfrozen, and tries to stop you from punching the bag again. "This isn't the right way to deal with things." Normal people cry, Jewel. You pay no attention to him, blindly lashing out at the taunting specters of pain and regret. He has no choice but to duck and move away.

"What did they do, Wiwat? What could any parents do to deserve a daughter who doesn't attend their funeral? Who is out of contact for a week before they passed away?" you ask, forcing out the words.

"I'm sorry…"

"Don't say that. I've never understood when people apologize for things they didn't do."

Your phone begins to ring, but you've already too far gone to hear it.

***

EXO has already wrapped up their afternoon schedule and are headed to the practice room.

"I'll pick you kids up at 9 to head to KBS, araso? Get your dinner sorted out in these two hours," their manager calls.

"Araso, hyung," Kris responds, checking his voicemail. He seems shocked by something. Unnoticed, he leaves the practice room as he lifts the phone to his ear.

"Is Jagi still busy?" Chanyeol asks.

"Probably," Luhan answers.

 "Do you think she'll be able to come with us tomorrow?" Tao asks.

"Tao, you didn't seriously think Jin Ae could come tomorrow, right?" Kyungsoo sighs.

"Scandals," Suho reminds everyone. "Not to mention lack of plane tickets." He doesn't mention what they're all thinking. The sasaengs probably bought them all.

"It would be really cool if she came though…" Kai pouts. Not to mention, I wouldn't have to put up with those noona-deul.

"What's for dinner?" Tao asks, per usual.

Outside, Kris has hung up and is pleading with the manager.

"Hyung, I need you to drive me somewhere."

***

"Oh, thank god you're here," Wiwat rushes to the door as Kris opens it.

"What's wrong with her?" Kris asks, watching as you abuse the punching bag.

"That's not something for me to tell you." Wiwat shakes his head. "Jewel?" he calls, to no avail.

"寶貝," Kris calls, stepping forward.

The deep timbre of his voice penetrates the haze and makes you stop immediately. You whirl around. "Kevin!" You run to him.

He takes a step back upon impact, wrapping his arms around you. "Hey, what's wrong?" He doesn't miss the fact that you've reverted back to calling him by the name he had first met you with.

"My parents," you sob.

At first, he doesn't understand.

"Three days ago."

"Oh no, Jewel…"

"The funeral was yesterday. They couldn't contact me-"

"Hush, 寶貝, just let it out," he soothes you, your hair. "Just let it out."

You don't struggle as he sits you down and Wiwat unwraps your hands. The dreadful numbness has disappeared, only to be replaced by regret, fury, and overwhelming loss. "I want them back," you sob, finally in tears. The emotions are almost a relief, except that they are so wretched that you want to die. "I didn't have them long enough, I want them back!"

"Don't be like this. You couldn't have changed the circumstances. It's not your fault, Jewel," he tells you, holding your face in his hands.

Pained by the sight of your bruised and bloody hands, Wiwat gets up and retrieves a first-aid kit from the shelf. You try to get up to go another round.

"No, Jewel." Kris pushes you back down gently. Wiwat comes back. Quickly and carefully, he disinfects your hands and bandages them. "Stop."

"Kris…"

"Hey. You'll get through this, alright? You're strong, Jewel," he comforts you, sitting beside you.

"What can I do now?" you sob.

"Hush," he whispers, pulling you close. "Just cry it out for now. Tomorrow will be another story." He rocks you gently as you cry.

Wiwat can only stand by, helpless.

***

"Where's Kris hyung?" Tao wonders. "He's not in the bathroom. Has he called any of us? It's already 8:30."

"Nope," comes a chorus of answers.

"I'll text him," Suho volunteers.

***

After you calmed down enough to walk, Kris brought you to a random Starbucks. Face swaddled so that only his nose is visible, he orders drinks for the two of you.

"An iced black coffee with a shot of hazelnut, and an iced chai tea latte, please-" Kris looks over at you, huddled over at the almost-out-of-sight corner table. "Never mind, make that a hot chai tea latte," he revises. While he waits for the drinks, he responds to Suho's text. Emergency.

You almost drop the cup when you burn your tongue on the scalding liquid. "The hell is this? Kris, you know I don't drink hot drinks-"

Thank god, she's back. "Don't argue. Just this once, I think you need it."

You set the cup down and stare at it sullenly. "I don't like hot drinks."

"I know. It's because you're impatient."

The two of you sit in silence for a while, until Kris decides to ask you the question you have been avoiding.

"What will you do now? "

It feels like a sin to tell the truth. "Nothing much will change," you admit. "Even before... Occasional phone calls, but that was it." You rest your head in your hands.

"And tomorrow?"

"I don't know." A pause. "Am I a bad person, Kris? Why doesn't this affect me more? I feel like… I never let my parents become a big part of my life. I didn't appreciate them enough, and now they're gone," you choke out, a single tear trailing down your face.

"You're not a bad person, Jewel. And I'm sure your parents don't think so either."

"Really?"

"Really."