Kris follows you out into the living room like a lost puppy. "I have to brush my teeth first," he says meekly when you point at his coffee.

"Then go."

"They're in the bathroom." He plops onto the couch sideways, folding awkwardly to try and fit his entire body on. You laugh at him.

"Poor giant, can't even sleep where you want to." You push him toward the back of the couch, get on and stretch out to prove your point, grinning cheekily at him.

He flings a long arm over your shoulders and a leg over your legs, trapping you and limiting movement. "Poor 寶貝, can't even move when you want to," he grins.

You freeze.

"Yah, 吳亦凡, you let me go or I- I'll Muay Thai you," you threaten breathlessly, heart pounding. This can't happen.

Closing his eyes, he pretends to doze off, not budging an inch. "K-Kevin," you stutter weakly. You can't breathe. Suddenly, it's not Kris in front of you, you're not on the white leather couch. You're facing a wall and the hand over your mouth smells like smoke- "P-please," you whimper faintly, eyes closed tightly, trembling.

"Jewel?" A deep voice.

The restraints around your shoulders and legs disappear and you curl into a ball, keening softly.

"寶貝?" Again, the same voice. Deep, unsure, concerned. Reassuring. “寶貝, it's me, Kevin. It's 亦凡. Look at me, 寶貝. I'm right here," he pleads.

His words finally make their way into your mind and you look up, tear streaked. He reaches a tentative arm toward you, pausing slightly when you flinch. Heartbreak in his eyes.

"I'm sorry, I'm bad, I won't do it again," he whispers, brushing your hair out of your face and hugging you gently when you don't resist again.

"It's okay," you rasp, closing your eyes briefly, just enjoying the feeling of being safe in an embrace, so different from your earlier memory. "It's my problem. I need to deal with it."

"Did something happen?" he asks carefully. "Do you want to talk to me about it?"

"It's nothing." You brush it off, scooting out from his arms. He lets you go reluctantly. "It happened a long time ago. Before I met you... I don't know why I thought of it. Just forget about this incident. It won't happen again," you say, drawing in a shaky breath. "Go get ready," you nod in the direction of the bathroom. "They're done."

Kris sighs and gets up, unwilling to leave you alone. "Jewel…"

"I'm fine. Just go," you reassure him, flashing a smile. "Don't take ages primping like you did last time!"

"I get to be professionally primped at the salon today," Kris retorts with a half-smile, glad to see you brighter. "Don't go anywhere!"

"I won't."

Your smile vanishes when he turns around.

***

When Kris comes out again it's to find you curled up and resting on the arm of the couch.

The other eleven members are on the opposite couch and adjacent armchairs, sipping their respective drinks and observing you. Luhan looks worried. "隊長(duizhang)…"

"Kris," Suho begins.

They can all see the faint tear tracks on your cheeks. You aren't fine, but Kris pretends not to see. He knows you hate that. He shakes his head slightly and puts a finger to his lips. Don't mention anything. They nod hesitantly.

"Jewel, time to go," he murmurs, a light hand on your shoulder. "Come on, 寶貝, don't want to keep everyone waiting."

You blink your eyes open, letting out a small sigh of relief when you see him.

The members all move suddenly, busy with their drinks or smoothing their hair.

You smile up at Kris. "You were quick today, 隊長," you tease. "Let's go, then," you say brightly, hopping off the couch.

Kris manages a smile and follows, but he's not used to the fear that flashed in your eyes when you opened them. He's not used to seeing you weak.

***

"So what's your schedule for today?" you ask Jongdae as you board the van with him and the other M members. He seems the most awake.

He looks at you, shocked. Their manager is right beside and has overheard. You shrug. You know he had already suspected. You also know that he isn't about to say anything unless you pose a threat to the publicity or safety of the members.

"We're going to Weekly Idol," he answers. "God, I hope they don't make us demonstrate our 'powers' again. That was so embarrassing," he groans.

"What's Weekly Idol?" you ask, settling down in between Minseok and Yixing. Jongdae, Tao, and Luhan are in the back.

"It's a variety show hosted by two guys, Defconn and Hyungdon," Kris yawns in the front seat. "We do stuff like listen to fans' voicemail and profile rewriting."

"It's kind of weird, but we had fun the last two times we went," Xiumin chuckles. "They made us do a high note battle and I won."

"Yah, that was so unfair, hyung," Jongdae complains. "You should have lost for moving your note higher every time."

"Don't be a sore loser, hyung," Tao mumbles sleepily, eyes closed and head resting on Kris' shoulder. He's hugging his leader's arm like he would hug a plushie.

"You would have lost all the same," Lay states quietly. "It was to see who can go higher, not who was more accurate."

"Besides, you have the best range, so what do you care?" Tao adds.

Chen brightens, but deflates when Luhan comments: "You've never battled low notes with Baozi before. What if he has better range?"

"Leave him a little dignity, will you?" Kris laughs.

Luhan shrugs and sees you trying not to laugh at Chen's plight. His eyes curve. He's glad to see you smiling again.

***
 

Sometime during the ride you fall asleep and loll onto Xiumin's shoulder. He freezes and meets Kris' eyes in the mirror. Is she always like this? He doesn't make a sound; however much he distrusts you, he's still considerate. The leader shrugs.

That's Jewel for you. He fondly traces your face with his eyes.

***

The seven of you meet up with the others at a salon. "Oh! Annyeonghaseyo, sunbaenim," the twelve of them bow, greeting a pierced and tattooed man just exiting the shop.

"Oh, EXO! Annyeonghaseyo," he bows casually. "Where are you heading today?"

You stop and wait patiently while they exchange greetings. When the group moves on, Kris remains behind, looking nervous. You wait with him. "I'm a huge fan," he awkwardly says, sticking out his hand. "Uh, I'm Kris from EXO-M," he adds as an afterthought. The singer (because he obviously is one) looks up at him.

"Whatchu doin' up there? Don't you get dizzy?" He laughs, shaking Kris' hand. "Just kidding. I know who you are. It's an honor to have such a successful hoobae as a fan."

"I've been a fan of you ever since I came to Korea," Kris admits. He hesitates, then continues cautiously. "Even through what happened… You were my inspiration for continuing my training," he adds, almost shy.

"Wow, awesome! Thanks for the support through all these years, bro!" He grins, clapping a hand onto Kris' shoulder, so much higher than his. You stifle a grin.

"Oh, Jewel, this is Jay Park. He's one of my biggest idols." Kris beckons. "Jay, this is my friend Jewel from the states."

"Hey, wassup?" Jay nods at you, then narrows his eyes when they meet yours (if they could get any narrower).

"Nice to meet you?" you say questionably. Why is he looking at you like you've met before? "I'll go in first, Kris." You leave, feeling Jay's stare.

"She from the west coast?" He asks.

"No, NYC. Why?" Kris asks curiously.

"Oh, nothing. I've gotta go. Good luck with DoniConi, have fun," Jay says absently. "Ah, drop by my dressing room sometime backstage, I get lonely without visitors," he says, flashing a brief smile as he leaves, preoccupied.

"Arasoyo, sunbaenim," Kris waves limply. Oh my gosh, I just met THE Jay Park! But hey… where did Jewel go?

***

To your disbelief, it takes over half an hour just for the boys to get dressed and sit in their chairs for styling. You lounge around, island-hopping from chair to chair. "Hey, is there wifi here?" you ask Baekhyun. He blinks at you. Baek… puppy. Puppy-Baek?

"Ani, there isn't."

You sigh and stare longingly at your bag, in which rests your laptop. "I haven't spoken to my friends in ages."

"I can hotspot my phone for you," Chanyeol offers helpfully from the next chair.

"Gwenchana, I can survive." You wave him off. "I'll just go bother Kris." You walk over to the giant. "Hey, giant." You blink at him. "Yah, wae… Your hair…"

"Why, is it bad?" He reaches a hand up self-consciously but you slap it away.

"PUAHHHAHAHHAHA! Oh, my god…" You bend over to catch your breath. "Do you always get styled like this?"

"No, but most of the time," he answers, pouting slightly at your laughter. Do I look stupid? I think I look okay…

"This is priceless," you state, trying to calm yourself. "Who are you?" You ask with a straight face.

"Yah, 寶貝," he makes a wounded face. "Am I so handsome that you can't recognize me?"

"I can't-" You gasp for air. "Are you going for the badass, cold city guy look?"

"What, doesn't it give off that feel?" He frowns.

"Oh, it does…" You wipe away tears of laughter and wander aimlessly to end up collapsing on the couch. You can't get over how different Kris looks from his normally dorky self. If you didn't know him, you would probably look him over as just another one of those guys. You giggle again and shake your head.

Kris looks over at you laughing by yourself. What's wrong with 寶貝？