A/N: Hi darlings.

I'm so glad to see that so many people that read NBND are interested in its sequel. Than you for all the love =)

Here is the new chapter. You have been asking me why YunJae didn't stay in touch during aftre Jae moved and it will be answered slowly in the next few chapters. It's not a big deal to the story though (I think).

Enjoy, comment and talk to me =) 

       Chapter 2: The Confidants

              The weekend was coming to an end. Yunho took his sister to the bus station and waited until she boarded before walking away. He hated goodbyes. He knew he would see his sister very soon but he still hated it.

             “Hate it, hate it, hate it!” he mumbled to himself as he walked back home.

              His mind wondered again to the blonde angelic boy that he once knew. He had learned to hate goodbyes because of that boy. Yunho would never say ‘bye bye’, ‘goodbye’ or ‘see you soon’.

             To his sister he would give a tight hug, utter an ‘I love you’ before he would let her go. With his friends he would play the cool guy and say ‘Will you get away from my face already?’ which they had learned was Yunho’s way of saying ‘I hope I’ll see you soon and I’ll miss you’.

              His whole life, to the littlest things, had been affected by that summer when he was sixteen. His best and worst memories were from that time. The bad ones he had long ago learned to block away from his mind and pretend they never happened. And the good ones… well the good ones he blocked away from his mind too because, as good as they were, they belonged in the past and only in the past. Bringing them up only made Yunho hurt.

             He walked slowly, very slowly to his apartment. He took his time looking around when he was crossing the college campus. It was practically deserted being a Sunday. But if Seohyun had really seen Jaejoong he… he had… to… he didn’t know what he had to do. He didn’t know if he wanted to meet that guy again. He didn’t know what to do or say if he ended up really meeting him.

             After his heart started racing for a couple of times when he saw some blonde boy that could actually be Jaejoong but turned out it wasn’t, he decided that stupid search was, well, stupid and sprinted to his apartment.

              He slammed the door when he got home, startling Changmin who was in the kitchen preparing a sandwich, more like a sandwich that could feed a whole family.

              “Wow, wow… what happened to you? Why are you all worked up?” Changmin noticed tiny beats of sweat in Yunho’s forehead, how he was breathing heavily and the previous slamming of the door. Yunho wasn’t happy and it took a lot to make the mature, well rounded up Yunho break away from his calm front. He was one of those stoic figures, so patient and righteous Changmin thought he was cut to be one of those leaders from ancient history that inspired thousands with their actions. Yes, he was definitely fit to be a leader. Or a dad. Or both. Anyway, Yunho behaving like that wasn’t common at all.

             “What the hell are you doing?” Yunho glared at his younger friend that had made a mess out of the kitchen just to prepare a sandwich. Mayonnaise jars, bread, tomatoes everywhere. It was normal of Changmin, he seemed to always be hungry. Always! All the time! But at that moment Yunho was just too pissed with life to find his dongsaeng’s appetite funny.

               “Huhh, eating?” the other answered, a bit afraid of this angry Yunho.

               Yunho huffed and passed past him to the fridge. He grabbed a can of beer and downed it in one go. He picked another can and took a little sip before letting his body fall lifeless on the couch.

               Changmin picked up the mega sandwich and went to seat in the little coffee table in front of his hyung.

               “Talk to me.” He said and took a bite in the sandwich.

               “No, no. You’re not playing my shrink again. Go find someone else to bother.” Yunho growled very impolitely.

               Changmin shrugged:

               “Sure. I’ll just go play with Kyuhyun then.” He stood up and picked his jacket all while finishing his sandwich at an inhuman speed.

               “No, don’t go.” Yunho mumbled, his attitude taking an 180º turn from obnoxious to cute. He didn’t want to be alone and he actually wanted someone to talk too. Thank god Changmin was thick skinned and didn’t get offended by is rare outbursts.

               Changmin, on the other hand, grinned victoriously when his hyung called him. He changed his expression to one of disinterest before turning around and walking back to his previous spot.

               “If you insist.” He acted cool. “Are you gonna say what bit you or are you gonna drink until you start telling me how hot I am?”

               “Yah, that happened once. Once!” Yunho whined very embarrassed whenever he recalled his drunk episode a couple of months after Changmin moved in. That hadn’t been at all the best way for Changmin to find out he was gay.

               “Still, I don’t want that episode to repeat itself. So, spill!” Changmin said, with no patient to beat around the bush.

              “Do you remember me telling you about that guy that used to leave in the house next door to mine?” Yunho started, not even knowing how he was gonna explain that his whole body was feeling excited and angry at the same time just by the mere possibility of Jaejoong being in a mile radius.

               “The one that turned you gay, yes.” Changmin said harshly.

             “You have such way with words.” Irony filled Yunho’s words. “Anyway, that’s the one. Well… Seo… Seohyun might have seen him when we were walking home after I picked her up and… and now I’m feeling all confused!” he confessed and awaited some wise words from the younger boy to appease his spirit.

                Changmin looked at Yunho silently for a couple of minutes.

              “So… you’re saying that you’re sister, who was 2 at the time the said guy was your neighbor, thinks she saw him nearby and now you are all worked up because a guy you haven’t seen in almost nine years might have walked in the same street as you?”

                “Yes!” Yunho whined and covered his face with a pillow, feeling a mix of emotions that weren’t at all compatible.

                “You want my opinion?”

                “Yes, please.”

                “You’re stupid.” Changmin said out of the blue and walked back to the kitchen, now to grab something to drink.

           “YAH!! What the hell? Is that all you are gonna say?” Yunho complained thought he was used to Changmin’s painfully honest personality and his lack of respect for his hyung after two years of leaving with the guy. “Can’t you at least try to tell me something that makes me feel better? I’m feeling all weird. It’s like I’m excited that he might be around but at the same time the fact that he might be around is a proof that he didn’t just vanish from the face of the earth which is something I’ve been trying to convince myself of for a long, long time.”

                 Changmin eyed his roommate, leaning against the kitchen counter.

                 “Do you want me to tell you something to make you feel good or do you want me to be honest?” the younger asked.

                “Something to make me feel good, definitely.” Yunho answered without hesitation knowing that when Changmin was too honest he could make a person feel like they had just been run over by a bulldozer.

              “You met the guy 9 years ago, you knew him for a few months. You keep thinking of him because he was your first love (big milestone), he made you realized you were gay (huge milestone) and then he left and broke your heart. If he hadn’t move you would date for a while and then, most certainly than not, and despite how in love you think you were, you guys would end up breaking up and moving on to the next guy and the blonde angelic boy would just be ‘that first guy I thought I liked’ instead of a tragic love story.

                Seohyun probably saw a pretty faced blonde guy and thought it was him. She was a fetus at the time for god’s sake. Stop trying to bring back the past. It is stupid, useless and a waste of emotions.

                Instead go out there, get your flirt on and get laid. I’m getting tired of your long showers. You use up all the hot water. Just find someone to take care of your urges for you. Stop thinking about ‘what if’s’ and forget that guy already. First loves never work out, period.”

                Changmin talked so fast Yunho had trouble following. But when the younger finally ended his lecture Yunho felt exactly how he expected he would feel: like he was run over by a bulldozer.

                “You know Minnie-ya, you can be very wise, I grant you that. But, god help me, you kill someone just with words. I asked for the nice version of the speech, I don’t even want to know what the honest version would be like.” Yunho managed to say after a couple of minutes of staring at his roommate, his mouth agape and feeling like he had just been slapped across the face with words. He could even imagine an anime version of himself getting his kicked by flying words coming out of anime version of Changmin.

                “My mom says I’m not a people pleaser.” Changmin shrugged.

                “Your mom is very right.” Yunho mumbled as the doorbell sounded.

                Changmin open the door to let Kyuhyun in.

                “Great, another sharp-tongue in the house.” Yunho whined when he saw who was at the door. Changmin could be tough but when he and Kyuhyun were together they were obnoxious and unstoppable.

                “Hey, old-man.” Kyuhyun greeted Yunho jokingly.

                “I hate you both. I’ll just go to my room and sleep until it’s Christmas.” Yunho mumbled, not amused, and dragged his body to his room.

                “Love you too, old-man.” Changmin yelled from the living room and he and Kyuhyun laughed.

                “Yes. Yes, sir. Most certainly. Very well. I will make sure it’s done…” Yunho kept saying to the phone, while playing solitaire in the store’s computer.  It was Wednesday, one of the less busy days, people just didn’t seem interested in buying sports gear in the middle of the week.

                The store had been empty for the major part of the day and Yunho was utterly bored. Having a half hour phone conversation with his boss wasn’t any closer to fun either.

Yunho took care of the store very well and the fact that he practiced some sports helped him when selling because he knew exactly what to say and recommend. His boss had once told him he was the best employee he had ever had but the man seemed to think it was necessary to call Yunho at random times and give him a lecture on how to do things he had been doing for more than an year.

                Yunho knew his boss did it just to show he was still the one in charge. But god, those phone calls were the most tedious things ever. Because of them he started disliking his boss’s tone of voice.

                When he finally hung up, a lady entered the store, late 30’s but still pretty and she knew it.

                She seemed pleasantly surprised when she saw a young and good looking boy at the register and though she seemed sporty and like someone who knew exactly what she needed to buy, she suddenly felt like she would need much assistant in her purchase.

                “Young-man, can you help me? I want to buy one of those Pilates balls but I don’t know where they are.” She asked.

                Yunho held in a sigh, and went to help the woman. The Pilates balls were right at the entrance of the store and were very easy to see.

                The woman insisted in trying the resistance of the ball sitting on it and made some other more provocative poses expecting to catch Yunho’s attention.

                When she requested his assistance in choosing some sportswear, including tight sports leggings and tiny sports tops, Yunho felt like just telling her ‘Look here mam, I’m not interested in you or in the female population in general. Besides you are a bit too old for my taste. Ah-ah, in your face!’. But he didn’t, not even after she ‘accidentally’ grazed his bicep for the fourth time because nothing good would come out of scaring away a client.

                He was finally putting everything the lady was gonna buy in a bag and was about to take her credit card when something caught his eye:

                Outside, someone dressed in black sportswear almost from head to toe, even wearing a black beanie, passed jogging by the store’s window. Nothing wrong with that.

                The problem was that face, even if Yunho had only taken a quick glance at it, it was very familiar. No matter how much time passed that face was engraved in his memory. Maybe his sister did see someone from his past.

                He started sweating; he felt like vomiting, he didn’t know what to do.

                He was awoken from his petrified form by the customer asking him if everything was okay.

            “I’m sorry, I’m really sorry. Please don’t leave.” He told the woman as he ran outside the store and looked at the direction the guy he thought to be Jaejoong took.

                Yunho started running like there was no tomorrow. Looking frenetically everywhere, trying to get a glimpse of the boy he wanted to find. He had no idea what he would do when he caught him, but he kept running.

                The way he was running like his life depended on it remembered him very much of the day Jaejoong left. His lungs were starting to hurt from the effort and the rest was just hurting from the memory of that dreadful day.

                He arrived at an intersection, still no sign of Jaejoong. Now he had three possible ways to go. Looking at every street he saw no jogger dressed in black.

               “Changmin is right, I’m really stupid…” he chuckled to himself, though it was a sad and low chuckled. He started walking back to the store and was grateful to see that the customer was still waiting, though she didn’t seem very impressed.

               “I’m really sorry mam. It was something urgent… I’m very sorry for leaving like that. Thank you very much for having waited.” He said as politely as he could and flashed her a charming smile that made her melt in a second and even add another item to her bag.

                Yunho entered home to find Changmin and Kyuhyun staring in deep concentration at the TV screen, remote controls in hand.

                “I need attention!” he said and pouted as he lied on the couch and let his head fall on Changmin’s lap. The younger didn’t seem to even notice so Yunho started pulling Min’s sweater to get his attention. How childish could a grown man be?

                “If you make me lose this game I’ll set fire to the house. Go to your room!” Changmin threatened.

                “Yah, how can you be so mean? I had a bad day. I even got my grabbed by an old woman.” The joys of exaggerating.

                “You’re being noisy and I don’t really care. Go to your room. There are people there.” Changmin repeated making Yunho jolt up from the couch.

                “People? What people? Do you just let ‘people’ enter our house and go to my personal space? Aishh..” Yunho growled in frustration when Changmin didn’t seem interested in giving any explanation. “I don’t even know how he passes one single class, he is always playing. Maybe he isn’t lying when he says he’s a genius…” Yunho was mumbling to himself on the way to his room until his ramblings were interrupted when someone jumped to his back.

                “Yunhooooo!” the unmistakable voice of Junsu boomed, more like squealed, through the room.

                “What the…” Yunho’s heart started beating faster from the scare. Lying on Yunho’s bed was Yoochun laughing at the other two. “I thought you guys were only coming on the weekend.” Yunho greeted his friends with a half hug, a smile creeping to his face. He actually missed them, a lot.

               After they finished high school everyone followed their own paths and slowly drifted apart. Different colleges, new friends… life in general. Yoochun spent the previous couple of years in the United States and Yunho hadn’t seen him since he had come back, some months before. He missed him the most.

                “Well we had some time off and Yoochun wanted to meet Changmin.” Junsu explained. Yoochun left to the states around the time Changmin moved in with Yunho and though they had spoken through Skype sometimes, robbing Yunho from the little precious time he had to talk with his friend (the maknae truly was a brat), it was their first live meeting.

                “Thoughts?” Yunho asked with a grin, wanting to hear Yoochun’s opinion on the younger.

                “A brat, just like you describe him, but a kind hearted one.” Yoochun said.

                “Told you!” Yunho laughed.

                “A brat who happened to tell us about your weird behavior recently.” Junsu said, the conversation taking a more serious tone. Yunho gulped.

                “Pfff, for him I always act weird.” Yunho tried to joke but the others were having none of that.

                 One thing was to talk about Jaejoong with Changmin who knew barely anything about their story, just the rough lines of how they meet and broke up. Changmin would never take much interest and would just be the harsh and direct guy he always was, saying whatever it took to take Yunho’s mind of that topic or he wouldn’t be able to function, keeping on dwelling on the past. Changmin didn’t even know the name of the blonde Yunho would talk about for hours when he had a bit too much to drink.

                A total different thing was to talk about Jaejoong and their past with Junsu and Yoochun, the very ones who were there all along to see the rise and fall of his first and most impactful relationship. The two people, along with his parents, that knew exactly how strongly the blonde marked his life and how destroyed he was when he left. They would never say things like ‘first loves never work out’ or ‘you met him for a couple of months, let it go’. Those were Changmin’s lines that Yunho welcomed happily because only those kind of harsh words managed to take Jaejoong off his mind. Yoochun and Junsu never said things like that because they witness Yunho falling in love with Jaejoong and changing and growing up with him.

             Last but not least, they were the ones who prevent Yunho from being run over, running after a speeding car, the day Jae left and they were the ones Yunho called in the middle of the night the following months, crying after the blond had invaded his dreams again. He still did that some times.

              “What did he told you?” Yunho gave in. Changmin told them how Seohyun saw someone who looked like Jaejoong enter the university’s building and that he became all jumpy after that, getting nervous every time some blond guy passed by them, even having trouble falling asleep. “Something happened today too.” He confessed and told them how he run out the store, leaving it empty and ready to be robbed, chasing after someone who he thought was Jaejoong.

             “Yun-ah!” Junsu called and squeezed his hand lightly, his expression sad.

             “Don’t look at me like that. I’m fine.” Yunho said with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “It’s just that the mere thought that I might bump into him on the street makes me nervous.”

              “Good nervous or bad nervous?”

              “Both!” Yunho admitted. “Do… do you know where he is? Are you still in touch with him?” he asked Yoochun, hesitating a bit at first.

              “I totally lost contact when I moved abroad. It was hard for him to keep in touch with any of us.” Junsu nodded affirmatively, he had tried to stay friends with Jaejoong too. “His parents didn’t become any more tolerant after he left and they didn’t exactly approve of any of us. I think Hyunjoong might still be in contact with him, but I haven’t heard of him since I moved.”

              Yunho sighed. It would be nice to at least know where Jaejoong was.

              While he was in high school, those three years, he received a card on his birthday. The envelope said it was from Jaejoong but it had no senders address. Just the name. ‘Kim Jaejoong’.

              He never read them. What good could come out of it? The three were in a shoes box, along with some other memories, hidden under his bed. But even after 9 years he hadn’t have the courage to read them.

             On New Year’s Day his parents would receive a card from Jaejoong too. Just like his, with no sender’s address His mother cried while reading it and then would hide them. She didn’t want to bring bad memories to her son. But Yunho knew very well of the existence of those cards.

             The year he graduated no card came on his birthday.

             Yunho panicked. He was sure something bad had happened to Jaejoong, he was imagining the worse scenarios possible. Only when Yoochun managed to contact the blonde and make sure he was alright Yunho calmed down.

            “Yunho, he is okay. I think… I think he just won’t send any more cards…” Yoochun had told him at the time. Yunho realized that after 3 years Jaejoong was finally letting go of him.

            It was around that time his friends started having difficulties in keeping in touch with Jaejoong. Yunho understood what he was doing, he was trying to let go of everything that reminded him of that summer. He wanted to try and put it all behind his back. Yunho didn’t judge him. He was trying to do the same.

           That was the year he moved from the house he grew up in to go to college and he could count the times he had go back to that house by the fingers on his hand.

             For anyone who didn’t know the whole story it was just his first crush, just a couple of months, just a summer, just a pretty blonde boy.

            No one really understood how it marked and changed his life. Permanently.

            No one, maybe except the two boys in his room at the moment.

            “Wait. Yunho, is that what you want?” Junsu asked, waking him from his daydreams.

            “What do you mean?”

            “You asked if we are still in touch with Jaejoong. You want to meet him again? Is that what you want?”

            Yunho looked at Junsu like he was incapable of understanding the words coming out of his mouth. But Junsu was making a lot of sense.

            “I… I… don’t know.”

            “What? You can do better than that. For 9 years you have tried to take him out of your mind. You even forbade us of talking about him. Saying his name was out of question. And now you ask us about him. You are even thinking of bumping into him on the street… You want to meet him.” Junsu kept saying and he was as excited as someone who had just won the lottery.

           “Calm down… It’s not like that…” Yunho tried to say when Junsu started jumping around the room in celebration.

           “He’s right you know? All this time you tried to just not think about it. You didn’t even grieve over that loss. You just tried to act like it didn’t happen, failing miserably I might add.” Yoochun said, earning a smack on the back of the head from Yunho. “We have been waiting for the moment you got through your denial phase and finally got the will to look for him. After so much time we thought it might never happen. But… look at you know. You are actually excited with the thought of meeting him.”

           “Of course I am. It’s Jaejoong. But… but… as excited as I am I’m also scared and angry and…. Lots of bad emotions. I don’t want it.” Yunho felt like face palming. ‘Nice arguments, stupid.’ he scolded himself.

           “Oh, stop kidding yourself. You two never broke up, never said goodbye, never cried together, never yelled at each other, never had a last kiss. You guys didn’t have closure. You are unfinished.” Junsu held Yunho’s face between his hands, staring at him and making sure he was paying attention to his every word. “If he is actually closer to you than any of us ever imagined you have to find him.”

           “And then do what?”

           “Whatever you feel like doing. Even if it is just talking with him a last time. You will never get over it if you don’t face him at least one last time.” Junsu said solemnly.

           “You… you’re right...” Yunho stuttered, thinking to himself that Changmin’s smartness was rubbing on Junsu. “What do I do?” he asked his friends.

           Once he decided he had to meat Jaejoong at least one more time he wouldn’t stop until he made it happen.

           “Wait a second.” Yoochun said and left the room. After exchanging some words with Changmin, who answered him automatically without giving it much thought as he was still engrossed in his game; he returned to his room with a laptop in his hands

           “Seohyun thinks she saw Jaejoong entering the university. The school has a portal to communicate with the teachers and with other students and all that stuff right?” Yoochun asked rhetorically. “So we can search the data base and see if there is any student named Kim Jaejoong. I got Changmin’s password.”

             Yunho looked at Yoochun working his way in the computer and felt really stupid. Everyone seemed to have something smart to say. When did all of them become so smart?

              “Hmmm, no results for Kim Jaejoong.” Yoochun said and everyone let out a sigh of disappointment.

             “Try searching just Kim.” Junsu suggested and Yunho felt not so dumb after that because he knew the search would found thousands of students with the surname Kim. Not a very good help for their search.

             They were quickly scanning the first pages full of ‘Kims’ in hopes that Jaejoong might come up, when Yunho noticed another familiar name.

            “Wait, wait. Scroll up.” He asked Yoochun and the other two gasped in surprise when they saw the name ‘Kim Hyunjoong’ in the drama department.

              “Can it be the same Hyunjoong?” asked Junsu.

              “Bits me. But it would be a hell of a big coincidence.” Everyone agreed.

              After half an hour searching everything they could come up with to find Jaejoong, they gave up.

              “Well, Seohyun just saw someone who looked like him. It would be very weird if she remembered him that well to be honest.” Yunho said, already giving up in the search.

              “Of course she can recognize him. There are still lots of pictures of him in your place. If you went there more you would know.” Junsu scolded him.

              “Okay, she can recognize him if she sees him. But he is as old as me. By now he should be done with college. Let’s just face it: it wasn’t him and we got all excited for nothing.” Those words earned him a smack on the head from Yoochun.

             “You sure give up easily. Stop being a scaredy cat. He might not be attending college anymore. He can be a teacher there. He could just be visiting it, for some reason. He could be picking up someone… You know what? I trust Seohyun if she says she saw him. She is more sharp than you anyways.” Yoochun said, making Yunho pout.

             “What are you doing?” Changmin appeared by the door.

             “Do you know if there are students who don’t have their profiles online on the school’s portal?” Yoochun took the opportunity to ask.

             “Yeah. If someone doesn’t want their information online they can ask to be taken down. And I think some students, like the ones who just attend some classes and not go to school in full time, don’t have their info online either.” Changmin explained.

              “Very helpful. Thank you.”

              “Sure. Can I have my pc back? Kyuhyun and I are gonna play online.” Yoochun returned the computer.

              “Study a bit at least.” Yunho yelled at Changmin who was already on his way to the couch again.

              “Yes Omma!” was Changmin’s faint response that made everyone laugh.

                “I’m going out to buy something else for us to eat. Any special requests?” Yunho asked his friends who were settling themselves on the living room for a night of watching scary movies. With two more mouths to feed, besides the always hungry Changmin, their snacks wouldn’t be enough to last the whole night.

                “Anything edible. I’m not gonna stay awake until late if there is no food.” Changmin said. Lucky for him he had the next morning free of classes so he could hang out with his friends until late. “But bring lots of it. And something sweet. And something to drink.”

                “Yeah, bring some coffee.”

                “Caramel macchiato…” they kept ordering.

                Yunho made his way to the grocery store in their street, open 24/7 to feed the students awake at unholy hours, and left with 3 bags of snacks that were all but healthy. Just the type of thing that tastes good when staying up late.

                On his way to the coffee shop, he was cursing his life and how his friends always made him pay for the food because he was the only one with a stable job.

                “Do they think I own a gold mine or something?” he was mumbling to himself while looking up at the menu and deciding what to buy. “Better take two of everything. But not much caffeine for Junsu. He is hyper enough as it is…”

                The lady that was ahead of him was finishing making her order when Yunho decided what he wanted to take. He looked down at the cashier and froze.

                He was absolutely petrified, even his heart seemed to have stopped beating and his lungs had stopped taking in air.

                “Oh my god….” He mumbled under his breath and before the lady could finish her order and leave the space between him and the cashier empty, he ran out of the store, not minding who he pushed in the way.

                For a matter of a second Jaejoong didn’t get to see that his next customer was someone that belonged to his past.