Sooyeon had a dream.. or more like a nightmare.

The hallways were empty and silence filled the air. It was still half past four but already, the corridors and hallways were deserted. Not a single soul walked around inside the building. 

But somewhere, voices could be heard. An argument was brewing.

"Why do you do this to yourself?" she asks, grabbing his wrist to stop him from avoiding her. "Joonmyeon, why?"

The boy named 'Joonmyeon' merely grunts as he tries to pry her fingers away from his wrist. "Yah, let me go." he practically commands her. "Let me go." he repeats.

She was stubborn. She only held onto his wrist tighter, refusing to let him go and avoid her question again. "Joonmyeon-ah, why do you do this to yourself?" she too repeats her question and it only annoys both of them more.

For a few seconds, they stare into each other's eyes. But it's not like those times in where they just look at each other and smile. No, they were practically glaring at one another this time. They could see the annoyance and the anger in each other's eyes, it was too obvious and too evident that nobody could miss it. 

But she sees something more than just annoyance and anger in his eyes, she sees pain, hurt and sadness. He's tired, she could tell. At this, she loosens her grip on his wrist and frowns. "Please, Joonmyeon, just tell me what's wrong. Why won't you let me help you?" her voice has changed, she already sounds like she's whining to him and she might as well be doing that now. Anything to make him tell her and just open up to her.

"Because I don't want you too! Is that so hard to understand?" he says loudly, raising his voice an octave higher. He pulls his own hand away from her grip and this time, she doesn't complain. She just stares at him, sadness were also evident in her eyes but Joonmyeon didn't feel the least bit guilty. "Stop following me around, stop trying to be nice to me now.. I don't need your help."

She shakes her head and steps closer. "No, no matter how much you say that, you know that you-"

"I. Don't. Need. Your," Joonmyeon's palms close and turns into fist as he stares at her eyes. He was beginning to lose patience with her now, he was beginning to think that she was stubborn. "Help." he says through gritted teeth.

She's shock by his response but she couldn't do anything about it. It was his choice, his decision and she knew it was hopeless to try and change him. She had already failed at that a long time ago. 

She only sighs. "Is that what you really want?" she asks softly, her voice almost like a whisper. 

"Yes." he doesn't hesitate to reply. 

She looks up at him. "Fine." she says before she turns around starts walking away. She had given up. The first step she took represented that she had given up on helping him. Why would she even try when he won't even let her in and help him? She was tired with his stubbornness as much as he was tired with her's. She only hopes that he'll change one day.

But sadly, that day never came. 

The next day after their talk, he was sent to the hospital. 

And then, the day after that, she visited him. 

The day after that, he died. 

And Jung Sooyeon is left thinking with so many 'what if's' in her head. What if she hadn't given up? What if she continued on helping him? What if she had talked properly to him? What if she tried harder in convincing him?  What if.. she was the real reason he died? 

Sooyeon told herself not to think about it that much by tomorrow. 

\/|/\

The next day, Sooyeon came later than usual because she had woken up thirty minutes late than her usual wake up time. As a result, nearly half of the class were standing outside their room when she had arrived, they were all waiting on Sooyeon for the key. 

Nobody asked or complained on why she had come late since they only had a few minutes left until the bell rang. As a matter of fact, they all kept quiet when they saw the class president walking over.

Sooyeon didn't mind this because she was already used to it. She just shrugged it off and ignored their uneasiness whenever she was around. 

When Sooyeon had entered the classroom with everyone trailing behind her, she noticed that Yifan wasn't around. His striking ash blonde hair was nowhere to be seen in her eyes.  

She looks at his seat, only to find it empty. She looks around, but she's sure of it; he wasn't here. 

Sooyeon frowns and slumps in her seat, her thoughts immediately wondering off to Yifan and where he might be or why he wasn't in class today.

She shakes her head, chiding herself that's she over thinking this. Maybe he's just late, she told herself. 

Sooyeon had really looked forward to seeing him, because she had decided long and hard about helping him. Yifan wasn't like him, Yifan despised Sooyeon and she disliked him back. The feeling was mutual between them and it was clear that they wanted nothing to do with each other.  

But Sooyeon isn't all that bad, behind her facade, she has a heart too. She can feel pity, remorse, pain and sadness too. Even though she isn't fond of Yifan the way she was fond of him, Sooyeon still wanted to help. She wanted to, but also because she needed to. The principal was counting on her after all, and technically, so was Mr. Wu. 

She just cannot disappoint them. 

In the end, she would help him also because Jung Sooyeon never makes the same mistake twice. 

\/|/\

"Why aren't you in school?" obvious worry and concern is found in Yuan's voice when she saw her brother sitting on the patio still in his night clothes. 

It was already nearing ten in the morning and Yuan had just arrived home only to find Yifan still in the house. Of course, she thought something was up. "Yifan, are you sick?" she asks as she walks over to him with a small frown on her face. "Do you have a fever?" 

Yifan shakes his head and ducks as his sister tries to place her hand on his forehead. "Jeijei, I'm completely fine.. just still a little sleepy." he says.

Almost instantly, Yuan's features softened. She sits down on the chair beside him, never taking her eyes of her brother's face. "Why didn't you go to school, Yifan? Father will be disappointed." 

He rolls his eyes. "He's not here anyways. He's in the Philippines for a press conference." he snorts out. "But I accidentally overslept, jei." he tells her. Yifan looks back at her sister and for a second there, he urges himself to tell her. To tell how he's in pain, how he just wants to die, how nobody cares for him, how he's hurting himself, how the separation and divorce is not only killing his parents, but it's killing him too.

But he decides against telling her. "Have you had breakfast already?" Yuan asks.

Yifan shakes his head. "I'm not hungry." but what he really wanted to say was; I wanted to eat with you, jeijei. 

Yuan frowns. "It's nearly ten, you should eat now Yifan. I'm finished eating already, I'm sure Lijuang will cook something good for you." she says, which disappoints him. 

Yifan only sighs and agrees. "Um, alright." 

The two siblings head inside the house and the smell of bacon being cooked filled their nostrils. Too bad Yuan was already too full to even eat. Yifan had waited on her the whole night and morning. 

"Hey, if you need anything in school or whatever, tell me okay?" Yuan says as she walks upstairs, probably headed to her room. "I'm going out in a while." 

This made Yifan frown. "What? You're not staying?" he asks and he could practically hear his heart shattering. The one person who he actually started to trust and care for was no going away again. 

"Yifan don't be silly, of course I can't stay here. I'm moving with mom, and this is dad's house." she sighs. "I only came to visit you." 

He shakes his head. "I don't need anything." he says with no emotions this time. But in truth, he was really disappointed that his sister was leaving so soon. It's only been a day since she's been here. "You can go." 

Yuan doesn't notice the tone of his voice and she's oblivious to the pain hidden behind his eyes. 

No one really cared for him, nobody stayed to do so. If someone did, they'd eventually go away. Look at his family, they're a mess right now. His father is always busy since he's running the company alone now, and he doesn't even know where his mother is right now. As for his sister, he had expected too much from her. 

Now he can really say that expectations truly are the roots of all heart ache. 

Yifan doesn't go to school that afternoon, or the day after.

/\|\/

It was already Thursday afternoon and classes were dismissed. Sooyeon was already on her way home since it was nearing 8, Solgi would get cranky and maybe pissed on why Sooyeon wasn't home yet and it was almost pass her curfew.

But somehow, Sooyeon only cared little about her foster mother compared to how much he cared on why Yifan was absent for three days straight. It was bothering her and worrying her even more and more each day. Their homeroom teacher was getting edgy about this, and the principal didn't know about Yifan's absence. Yet. 

If he will, then Sooyeon would probably in trouble. 

So many thoughts and possibilities ran through her mind, thinking of reasons on why Yifan was and is still absent from school. But the number one possibility she thought that had bothered her the most was; what if he was finally tired? 

There was a chance since Yifan is connected with self harming although she doesn't know why he does it, but maybe because he's been troubled for the past few months or years. Sooyeon would have to ask him so that she could help the guy, but how could she do that when she hasn't seen him for days? 

Sooyeon only sighs as she continues to walk home. All these were so troubling and depressing for her and it made her even more stressed out than she already should be. But Sooyeon was strong and she could carry a lot on her shoulders, and she knows adding in Yifan as a responsibility wouldn't hurt that much. 

If the principal thinks she can do it, she has to. She couldn't disappoint him after all. 

Suddenly, somewhere from her side, she hears shouting and it only gets louder and louder. The people around her hear it to and some even stop walking like her. They look to one of the buildings at the side which seemed to be a club. 

She was shocked to see a man shoving the one and only Wu Yifan out of the doors, looking very pissed. "Go home kid!" he shouts at Yifan.

From across the street, Yifan stands up and she could tell that he's glaring at the man before he shakes his head and walks away. He ignores all the stares he gets and just walks with his head held high. It was really him. By the way he walked, Sooyeon could tell that it was him. 

Sooyeon widens her eyes and snaps back to her senses. "Hey!" she shouts at him, trying to catch his attention. This was fate playing. "Hey, Yifan!" so, he was still alive and kickin'. 

But whether he hears her or not, he doesn't turn around. 

Sooyeon stops running and she just brisks walks, trying to catch up to him. Dodging people and jogging from time to time just to get to him. 

And when she does, his eyes pierce right through her. Sooyeon takes a step back, surprised at how angry he looked. He looked so intimidating and so dangerous that Sooyeon regretted bothering him. "Yi-Yi-"

"What?" he growls, making her gulp. He looks so angry. Even more so when his hair was tousled and messy and his clothes crumpled and nearly ripped by the hems. 

"Um, umm, um, uh, wha-what?! Hey!" in the middle of her stuttering, Yifan actually walks away. Sooyeon fumes from her spot and just stares at him, but a few seconds later, she starts going after him. She cannot miss this chance.  "Yifan!" 

He doesn't look back, turn around, glance back or anything. He only keeps on walking straight. 

Sooyeon follows him, trying to keep up with his pace. But he's walking faster and faster by the second and she's left with no choice but to run after him. "Hey, stop being so rude." she says when she reaches his side, looking up at him, craning her neck to see his face. "What's-"

"Seriously, Jung, what do you want?! Just leave me alone!" he shouts, right there, in the middle of the street where anyone could hear. But, they were in the quieter part of Gwamdeong district, so not a lot of people could hear or see them. "You're so annoying." 

"I've heard worst insults." she says bitterly with a roll of her eyes. "Why were you absent? Why-"

"Stop acting like you care." he says and what he does next shocks her. He puffs out smoke from his cigarette that she hadn't notice he was holding. Yifan continues to glare at her. "You don't have any right ab-"

"You were assigned to me." she says, swashing away the smoke his cigarette was producing. She glances uneasily at it and then back at him. "So don't talk to me about rights. I can-"

His laugh cuts her off, but it was a humorless laugh that made her hair stand up in the worst way possible. As he puffs smoke from his cigarette, he shakes his head at her, "So what? You're my babysitter? I don't need one, especially when it's you Jung Sooyeon. Leave me alone already."

Sooyeon's eyes travel down to his arm. It was bare because he didn't wear a jacket or anything to cover it up and Sooyeon could see the straight lines all too perfectly that contrasted against his white skin. Even in the dark, in the dim light around them, she could see those self-inflicted wounds of his. 

It made her heart clench. The thought of him ending up like Joonmyeon.. it was too much. She looks up at him, returning his hard gaze. "Yah," she reaches out for the cigarette in his hands and grabs it from him. Yifan doesn't protest even when she throws it away to the side. "Smoking isn't good, a smart guy like you should know that. Do you want to end your life that quick?" 

He puts his hands inside the pockets of his jeans and acts casual in front of her. "It's the only way that can make me feel sane." he says. "And so what if I want to end my life or kill myself right now? In front of you? Nobody would care now, would they?" he spits out.

Sooyeon shakes her head. "Don't say that. You don't how much you're hurting yourself. Please, let me help you, I'll-"

"Nobody cares, but when they do, they leave."

"I won't." she says and takes a step towards him. Sooyeon sees the pain and the hurt that were evident in his eyes. She frowns upon noticing this. "If you'll only let me in.. I can help you."

"I don't want your help." his voice has an edge to it and it makes her intimidated.

As Yifan walks out into the night and shadows, Sooyeon doesn't have enough courage this time to follow him.