he opened the other page and he started to read another thing :

" Is it really that fun to hurt people around you ? to see their tears and hear their screams ? after you break a heart or a person ,  is it fun ?

Do you know how does it hurt to lose a friend and an important person at the same time ? how much it hurt when you look around for a certain person to hug you but you can't find him anywhere ? and how painful is the loneliness ?

How much should I bear ? should I forget and go over you mistakes ? should I be patient with their mood swings ? and they are changing ?!!

I always look around , wait , and believe that one day they will be back ! ,

Day after day , While I am waiting for them , I found myself on old places that I used to visit it with them . in the past , those places were alive , we used to come here to play and chat together , we used to fill this place with our laughter sounds ! but now . . . . . . it seem as if it's a totally different place ! now . . . . it's abandoned ! as if it has transferred ! now . . . it's a a place that no one come to only me , because I still have hope that one day we will meet again. And it's just a hope !

I was a fool when I believed those worlds that you used to tell that you will never leave !. you told me that you won't change as the others. Was it all of it a lie ? and me as a fool I believed it ! I know that this must change !

Should I put walls between me and the others ? should I respect them ? should I not open my heart to anyone ? should I be friendly and start a conversation with them ? or I should be quite and alone ?

If this was the best for me then I will do it , putting walls between me and the others , I can't handle any more scars on my heart ! more shocks and screams ! shedding more tears ! taking more pain ! I can't handle that . . . . I can't "

Written on : 7/10/2009 , 1:47 AM !!!!

Sungyeol started to cry more now ! / you must have saw a lot , you are a strong person myungsoo , you really are , but why did you give up on hope ?!!/

He turned the page to read more , and this time he found something written by the old myungsoo :

" I have a dream,
Even if I'm thrown away or ripped to shreds
Deep in my heart
I have a dream as precious as gem

If by chance, without a reason,
Somebody ridicules me behind my back
I should be patient
I would wait just for that day.

As you always worry,
You say that foolish dreams are poisonous.
Just like a book that tells us about the end of the world
There's the reality that we can't turn back already

Yes I have a dream.
I believe in that dream
Please watch over me
Standing in front of that cold wall called fate
I can firmly face it

One day I will pass over that wall
And be able to fly
As high as the sky
This heavy thing called life can't tie me down
At the end of my life, on the other day that I can smile, let's be together

Yes I have a dream.
I believe in that dream
Please watch over me
Standing in front of that cold wall called fate
I can firmly face it

One day I will pass over that wall
And be able to fly
As high as the sky
This heavy thing called life can't tie me down
At the end of my life, on the other day that I can smile, let's be together

Yes I, I have a dream
I believe in that dream.
Please watch over me
Standing in front of that cold wall called fate.
I can firmly face it

One day I will pass over that wall
And be able to fly
As high as the sky
This heavy thing called life can't tie me down
At the end of my life, on the other day that I can smile, let's be together " *I have a dream from dream high^^*

Written on : 5/7/2009 , 3:05 AM !!!!

Sungyeol smiled when he read that , it was nice and calm , when you read those  lines you will find hope.

Yes I have a dream.
I believe in that dream
Please watch over me
Standing in front of that cold wall called fate
I can firmly face it

One day I will pass over that wall
And be able to fly
As high as the sky
This heavy thing called life can't tie me down
At the end of my life, on the other day that I can smile, let's be together
 

/I wonder how was myungsoo like back then ? when he had a dream , work hard , smile , play , and scream ? back then he had hope he had a reason to smile but now it's hard I will bury that person who killed