But I'm Here

Author : Yugyeom-ssi

Genre : Romance | Angst

Status : Completed

Title ( 8/10 )

Well the title doesn't seem very eye-catching but despite that, it fitted the story really well so 8 points for that.

Description & Foreword ( 8/10 )

Your description is rather interesting and it makes the readers have the urge to proceed on to your story and since this is a one-shot, I don't expect alot from your description and foreword, so I think you scored quite well for this part, well done (:

Grammar & Language ( 17/20 )

Your grammar isn't that bad, I only spot a few mistakes which I guess are careless mistakes, but however I have noticed that you keep using this word 'creature', I know you're trying to use a metaphor on Hyunju(and Mark, I think) and it was nice seeing that metaphor once but if you keep repeating it again and again it somehow sounds boring and humans are humans, they're not creatures, maybe you can use something different like 'angel'(for Hyunju)

In the second paragraph, "Like a jelly and made his heart do somersaults." It would sound nicer if you used 'somersaults' instead of one single 'somersault'. And two lines after that, "Why would such an awful creature wanted to let her down?" I cancelled the words 'wanted to', I know what you wanted to write was how Mark wanted to let her down but I think it's better if you didn't add those two words.

Personally I like the phrase in your description "I'll be your umbrella if he is the rain." Good job!

Character ( 18/20 )

Well since it's  a one-shots, I focus more on the plot than on the character, but so far there wasn't any part of the story which made me question their age or their mentality which is a good thing! Even though I don't know their age, they seem mature enough to know what they're doing and such, so good job! But however it would be better if you elaborated more on Yugyeom (:

Originality & Storyline ( 13/20 )

Your storyline isn't really unique, I mean it's quite common in all fanfics but I haven't really read a fic that actually only focuses on that part though, so most of the points come from your originality. And also, I don't see much fics that has a younger guy confess to a noona, (i personally do not like dating younger guys haha) even though it wasn't too my liking, but I can say that the settings were very original.

Overall ( 64/80 )

You wrote your one shots one, oh and I forgot to mention that the pace of your story is just right, it doesn't feel too fast even though his confession is kind of fast(sorry it doesn't make sense haha) so your story didn't confuse me one bit and that's good! Once again thank you for requesting at KMS & HMH Review Shop! Please credit the shop in your foreword so that I can cancel your name off the request list, have a good day!

-Moon Hae