31: Let Me Show You

Moon in My Eye

“Noona,” Sehun whined. I had gone outside to get some fresh air and Sehun was now pestering me. “Play with me.”

He was so incredibly adorable, the way he was pressing against me and trying to tug me up. “Sehun . . .”

“You hardly ever play with me anymore.” He pouted. “All you ever do is hang out with hyung.”

I did feel a pinprick of guilt about that. Thinking back, I had been spending a lot of time with Kris and basically ignoring anyone and everyone else. I gave him a smile and with no warning I tackled him to the ground. We both started laughing and rolling around, tickling and pinning each other. I had forgotten how much fun hanging out with Sehun could be. It was getting near dusk by the time we were both laying on our backs, heaving.

“You’re not going to forget about me, right?”

“Huh?” I turned to look at him.

“You and Kris hyung. You’re together, right?”

“Yeah . . .”

“You’ll still play and hang out with me right? You won’t forget about me?”

Guilt rammed into me from my blindside. “Of course not! Sehun, you’re my best friend. You’ve stuck with me through everything. How could I possibly forget about you?”

Sehun gave me a happy, lazy smile. “Good. You’re my noona and Alpha—I’ll follow you anywhere.” He sat up and his stomach gurgled. “I’m starving. I need to get something to eat. Are you coming?”

He offered me a hand and pulled me up. “Sure. I’m kind of hungry now too.”

We headed to the kitchen and we both weren’t expecting what we saw. We burst out laughing. The kitchen was a mess, flour everywhere and smoke billowing from the stove. In a split second, the fire alarm went off as the smoke reached it. And in the center of it all, covered in flour and eggs, was Chen. He frantically grabbed a plate and waved it under the smoke alarm.

“It’s not funny, damnit!” He grumbled, still trying to wave the smoke away. The alarm finally stopped and he gave a heavy sigh before letting his arms flop down.

“What in the world were you doing?” I asked, still laughing, going to turn the stove off. Sehun sat down at the island and started doodling designs in the flour, laughing.

“What does it look like? I was trying to make some food. I just . . .  don’t know how to cook.”

I raised an eyebrow at him. “Then why didn't you get Lay or someone who knows how to cook?”

“No.” He said firmly. “I want to make it.” A blush surfaced on his face. “It’s for Ai Li. I just wanted . . .”

Oh my God. How could such a grown man be so adorable? “We’ll help you clean up, right Sehun?” Sehun whined, but stood up and grabbed the trashcan. “After,  I’ll help you cook up something.”

Chen stared at me for a moment. “You know how to cook?” He asked in disbelief.

“Yah!”

Chen chuckled and started helping as well. “Thanks,” he finally whispered.

It didn’t take long for a few heads to poke in and check out what all the fuss was about. Most of them just laughed and teased Chen. Lay was the one who was furious.

“What the hell! What is with this mess! It better be spotless when I come back!”

We looked at each other and laughed and finished cleaning pretty quickly. “Okay, so . . . what were you trying to make?”

“Ddeokbokki.”

My eyes widened in surprise. That was a Korean dish. “Really? How in the world do you know how to make that?”

He gestured to the full trashcans. “I obviously don’t.”

“How do you even know about ddeokbokki?”

He gave me an odd look. “I’m initially from Korea, like you. Can’t you tell?”

I looked hard at his face and all of his features seemed much more Korean. “I never knew. If you’re from Korea, what pack were you with? How did you come to be up here?”

He gave me a small smile. “I used to be a part of Suho’s pack, actually.”

I couldn’t believe my ears. “You’re kidding. Why did you leave?”

He shrugged. “I just did. Don’t get me wrong, I think Suho is a fantastic Alpha, but . . . I don’t know. I wandered into Kris’s territory and he just . . . picked me up. And I’ve just chosen to stay. Who knows, I may wander away from this pack sometime in the future too. I’ve always been a wanderer.”

“Huh. But you have Ai Li now. Doesn’t that change anything?”

His face turned very soft at the mention of Ai Li. “For right now, yes, it does. I want to stay by her side for as long as I can.”

I suddenly felt much closer to Chen.

“Yuck. Remind me never to fall in love. You guys are making me gag.” Sehun commented.

I turned to him. “Do you want to eat?”

“Yes!”

“Then shut it.”

“Okay.”

I went and grabbed a pan and placed it on the stove, then went to search for some kind of ddeok. “By the way, why ddeokbokki?”

“Ai Li was craving something spicy and it was the first thing I thought of.”

“Are you sure you want to serve her ddeokbokki so late in the evening?”

“You don’t understand. She wants something spicy. If I don’t come back with something spicy, she’ll kill me.”

I laughed, seeing his terrified look. I finally found some ddeok—not the exact same thing as what was normally used for ddeokbokki, but it would work. “Alright then. Let’s get started.”

 

I was having fun with Sehun—who I found out was rather sensitive to spicy food—when I caught the time on the wall. Panicking, I realized it was almost midnight and that I had yet to go and answer Kris. I had decided what to do—I wanted to be with Kris. I wanted him to show me what it was like to be fully in love.

Whether or not I was prepared for such intimate acts, we would find out.

“!”

“Huh? Noona?”

“Sorry, Sehun. I have to go right now. If you really can’t handle the spiciness, get some of the milk—it’ll help.”

I quickly left the kitchen and—wait. I didn’t know where Kris’s room was. I concentrated and caught a hold of his scent. I followed it and—oh. He roomed on the second floor. I wondered why, when everyone else roomed below. I lightly knocked on the door. No answer.

I knocked again, this time a little louder, but still, he didn’t answer. Cautiously, I opened his door. I closed the door silently behind me. The light was on, revealing a rather massive but sparsely furnished room. There was a short hallway that blocked my view of the entire room. I took a couple of steps in, wondering if maybe he wasn’t in his room, but somewhere else.

But as soon as I walked out of the walkway, I saw him. He was sitting at the foot of his bed, his head slumping down so his chin rested on his collarbone. He was sleeping. I smiled and quickly snuck up to him. I squatted in front of him, wrapping my arms around my legs and just . . . watching. I wondered briefly if I looked so innocent when I slept. With a small smile, I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his.

He groaned and shifted and I pulled back. I lifted my hand and gently grabbed his shoulder and shook. “Kris. Wake up.”

He groaned and only shifted. I bit my lip and felt an urge to kiss him again. I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his. I squeaked as suddenly his arms wrapped around me and pressed me to him, deepening the kiss. I struggled a bit and was able to push away at arm’s reach.

“You!” I stuttered in indignation, speechless for a moment. He was giving me a big, wolfish smile. “You were awake! I thought you were asleep!”

“I was at first. But I wanted to see if you’d kiss me again.”

My face turned red. “I-I—”

He leaned forward and hugged me. “I didn’t think you’d come.”

“I thought you were fine with whichever I chose?”

“I was—am.” He drew back and locked eyes with me. “But I really, really hoped you would come.” He leaned forward again, but I pushed him back. He looked confused. “What is it?”

“I just . . .” Why had I pushed him back? “I wanted . . . to tell you something.”

“Yeah?”

“I love you, Kris. And . . . I want to be with you.” Kris leaned close to my face, centimeters apart. “But . . . I also want you to know that . . . I’m not sure how I’ll handle this. But don’t stop, okay?” I wound up whispering the end and I leaned in the last bit and we were kissing. It heated up right away.

Kris deepened the kiss, his hands coming up to cup my face. Heat pulled in my stomach and all I could feel or smell was him. That pleasant fog was clouding my head—it was both terrifying and exciting. My hands found their way under his shirt and for the first time, I marveled at how far I had come. Touching or being touched by others in this way had set me off and attacking. But now . . .

I stiffened a bit when I felt Kris’s hands pull at the hem of my shirt. He paused, but I quickly said, “It’s okay. It’s okay,” and let my head fall on his shoulder. His hands slipped up my shirt and I reminded myself that this was okay, I wanted this. I wanted him.

He leaned down, his lips by my ear. “Let’s move this to the bed.”

I blushed further but nodded as we both got up. He turned around and gently pushed me onto the bed. As soon as I was on my back, I wanted to panic—I was in an incredibly vulnerable position, both as a human and especially as a wolf. I was a little surprised that my wolf wasn’t protesting any of this since she was such a strong-headed and willful creature.

“I’m going to take off your shirt.”

My heart hammered in my chest. “T-take off your shirt first?”

He smiled. “Okay.” He slid his shirt off and tossed it aside. He was taking deep breaths and I— “Your turn.” He leaned down over me and kissed me before backing off just enough so I could move. Hesitantly, I pulled at the hem of my shirt and started tugging up. This was . . . humiliating. I was suddenly all too aware of my flaws. The scar on my face, the lack of curves. I wasn’t soft and curvy like Ai Li or even Minhee. I was all hard curves and muscle. When my shirt was off, my blush had reached my collarbones. My arms immediately jerked up and covered my s. I had learned long, long ago that bras just didn’t work with Were life and had forgone wearing them. How I wished I wore one now, especially as Kris just . . . stared.

He leaned down, propping himself up by his arms on either side of me, and kissed me. His hands, one at a time, wrapped around my wrists and tugged them away. “Why are you hiding?” He whispered.

“I’m . . . . I’m—” I was fighting back tears. It wasn’t so much that I was ashamed of my body, but I was scared that Kris would find it shameful. “I’m sorry I’m not prettier.”

Kris seemed shocked for a moment. “What are you talking about? You’re beautiful.” He leaned down and trailed kisses from my mouth to my jaw line to my collar bone. “On the inside and out.” He moved back up to my face. “And I love you. Let me show you how much, okay?”

“Okay,” I said, barely a whisper. 

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Warning: ual Content
You don't have to read the following scene to understand the following chapter/s. I just wrote it because. . .  well because I felt like it. I wanted to show how gentle Kris was with Hyorim and the fears Hyorim still harbors despite everything. (They don't just go away because you want them to).

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He leaned down and kissed me as his hands explored my body. Occasionally I would stiffen or whimper and he would pause to whisper that it was okay. I was a bit scared by how fast my body was reacting to him and everything he was doing, but it was balanced out by how gentle he was and how he paused to reassure me.

I was incredibly hot and pleasurably uncomfortable when Kris pulled back just enough to look me in the eyes. “I’m going to enter you now.”

Fear gripped my body—more from how I would react to him more than how he would treat me. I nodded.

“I . . . don’t know if it will hurt, but . . . bear with me okay?” Kris muttered.

I tightly closed my eyes the moments I felt something pressing against my entrance, my entire body stiffening.

“Relax. It’ll be uncomfortable if you don’t relax.”

I nodded, but how the hell was I supposed to relax? He pressed a bit more and I felt it enter me and I started panicking. I tensed further and Kris swore. Behind my closed lids, I was easily tossed back to my past and suddenly, I was there again. A couple of them held me down, piercing my skin with their claws and another was tearing off my clothing, biting me and making me cry out in pain. I could feel him as he laughed and, with his fingers, clawed at my entrance, cutting me open. And then his tip was lining up with me and—

I started crying and flailing my arms. My fists connected with the beast a couple of times. My panic only worsened as he grabbed my wrists and pinned them down.

“Hyorim!”

“Get off! Get off!” I felt my wolf under my skin, pressing against my human form, the fear pressing it tight against my body.

And then a clear, calm voice said, “Song Hyorim. Open your eyes.” Terrified, I slowly opened my eyes and the beast’s face melted away into Kris’s face. Once he saw I wasn’t struggling anymore, he cupped my face. “It’s okay. It’s me. It’s me, Hyorim. Breathe, okay?”

I nodded and took deep breaths.

“Now . . . just look at me okay? Don’t take your eyes off of me.”

He leaned down and gave me a soothing kiss. He picked up my arms and folded them across his neck. He withdrew and smiled. “Do you want to try again?”

His voice was strained and I knew if I said no now, he would be in pain for a while. I was touched that he was willing to stop now for me. I nodded, keeping my eyes focused on him. He lined himself up again and I tensed when I felt the pressure pushing at me. Kris turned to face me and locked eyes with me.

“Just focus on me. And relax.”

I nodded tensely and forced my body, section by section to relax. Once he saw I was much looser, I felt him push further in. I wanted to tense up again, push him out, but I forced myself to relax. Each time he went deeper, he would pause and wait for me to relax.

For a while, it was uncomfortable and I whimpered at my body being intruded upon.

“Hey, it’s okay.” Kris said as he leaned down and kissed me. He kissed me for a long time and I felt my body swell with that warmth reserved only for him. When he drew back, he and I were panting. I didn’t feel so uncomfortable now and a strangely pleasant feeling made me shiver. I think Kris took this as a signal that I was ready for more.

“I’m going to move now.” Kris said tensely.

I nodded and hugged him closer as he started moving in and out and I quickly realized I was no longer uncomfortable or in pain—all I felt was a pleasure that had me making sounds I didn’t know I could make. I drew Kris down for another kiss that left us breathless and wanting more, our hands wandering and touching everything we could.

So this is what making love feels like, I all but sighed in my head.

I noticed how erratic Kris was getting and the next thing I knew, we both cried out and a warmth flooded my belly. We laid there, gripping each other as we caught our breath, but soon Kris pulled out of me and laid beside me, pulling a blanket over us.

I felt strangely . . . empty now, but I felt better when Kris wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me close.

“Love you, Hyorim.” He sighed into my hair.

“I love you too,” I whispered.

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I'm not entirely sure how I like this one. Like I said, I don't write , but this felt somewhat lackluster. I don't know. 
Honestly, writing this much had me blushing, but  . . .  oh, what to do, what to do . . .

edit (06/29/014): So I lied. I wrote a little extra that I guess could be consider . . . ? I tried to be a little vague but anyway. 

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inkraven
Seriously--I need more feedback on my latest Blog Post and my question/s. . . .

Comments

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Macire #1
Chapter 54: Omg I seriously cannot wait till this is updated! It's so good!!
Lolypop123 #2
Chapter 54: Update if u can ^3^
mirjaelli #3
Chapter 54: cant wait for the next chapter
adorable_colours #4
Chapter 54: Hi author-nim
cxxxmxx
#5
Chapter 53: I just found your story actually. Hope you get the inspiration to continue this gem :)
tiffany93 #6
I'm a new subbie and I just read all of the chapters, and I love it. I'll be looking forward to what happens in the next chapters!
XaceX13 #7
Chapter 51: hmm.. i think that you can make a 2.0 for those who want to see the edited version :o
tamurr #8
Chapter 50: I sensed a little Fault in Our Stars near the end ;)
Good chapter (as per usual)! I'm really happy that they're getting together and stuff but I have this really bad feeling that you're going to make something awful happen to them :( (please don't :'( )
wallflowergurl
#9
Chapter 50: Kyaaaaaa!!!!! ~>o<~
Yeshh I love it so much. <3
OppaJjang98 #10
Chapter 50: Yehhh!!!!;) They'll be mates!! Are you going to write 'that' part??? Lol =*] Ah, poor Chen;( I hope he and Ali get back together!!! Love this chaptr!!!