24: Confirmation

Moon in My Eye

As the day wore on, I found myself outside watching as Sehun sparred with Lay, who was proving to be a rather fierce and spry opponent. Sehun kept huffing in frustration every time he just missed Lay. It was rather entertaining honestly—who knew Lay could be such a challenging opponent?

Slowly, however, I was reminded of the promise I had made with Taejoon to meet him today. Quietly, feeling a need to keep this all a secret, I slipped away into the woods. It took me a bit longer to get to where we met last time since I didn’t want to shift and it was well past the time we had met before. I spotted Taejoon pacing ahead, a scowl on his face. It was actually . . . rather disconcerting.

When he finally spotted me, his scowl melted away into a grin. He walked up to me eagerly. “I didn’t think you were coming.”

“I keep my promises,” I said a bit defensively.

“Ah, sorry. I was just . . .” He shook his head. “Do you want to sit?”

I nodded and we found a fallen tree to climb and sit on. I didn’t know what to say, so I said nothing and we sat in silence for a while.

“Have you . . . thought about my offer?”

His hand lightly clasped mine and I stared at it. If I could learn to love Kris, I could learn to love Taejoon . . .

“Taejoon . . . I don’t think you love me.” I finally said.

He paused, then said, “What?”

“I think . . . you’re in love with the past me.” I fisted my hands. “If you knew what I was like now, you wouldn’t love me. You couldn’t.” I still don’t believe Kris and he’s known this me longer than you have.

“Hyorim, that’s not true. I understand that that you is gone. Remember? I went through it too.”

I shook my head. “Not like I have.”

“Hyorim . . . what did they do?”

My mouth went into a tight line. I didn’t want him to know. But I did. Using his fingers, he turned my head to look at him.

“Won’t you tell me?” He pleaded. I said nothing. “That’s okay. It doesn’t matter. Whatever happened, I still want you to be mine.”

For some reason, I felt inexplicably warm at those words. He leaned in and once again he was kissing me. His other hand went up and behind my head to grasp my neck. And then he wasn’t gentle anymore. In a split second he was pressing me to him and attempting to deepen the kiss. I panicked and something inside me said this was WRONG. I shoved him away, both of us panting.

“We were meant to be together, Hyorim. Can’t you feel it? We’re connected.”

I was shaking. Why was I shaking?

“Listen, I can only come back once more—tomorrow. Think about my offer, think about us, and give me your final answer then.”

I didn’t look at him, but nodded. He hopped down from the tree and walked off, leaving me alone. Oh, God. What was happening to me?

All I could think as I headed back to the house was the kiss. Ai Li said she felt warm whenever she was with Chen. I had felt warm with Taejoon. Did that . . . mean something?

“Where do you go?”

I yelped and jumped back. Kris was right in front of me. Had he come looking for me?

“I-I was just thinking,” I stuttered.

“Can’t you think—” He stiffened. “What is that smell? Hyorim, who did you meet?”

“I didn’t meet with anybody,” I lied. “Like I said, I just—”

“Don’t lie to me! Please, please don’t lie to me.” I looked at his eyes and there was hurt there. I was mesmerized by his face for a second and I remembered all the expressions he had put on his face because of me—affection, love, kindness, gentleness, concern. Hurt. He was hurting because of me. My heart clenched painfully and I realized I didn’t like that he was hurting, especially if it was because of me.

“Kris . . . will you kiss me?” And then I realized what I said and I flushed. They had just popped out.

Kris seemed equally if not more surprised, completely taken off guard and derailed from his thoughts. “I-I . . . what?”

In a way, I was glad I had said them. He was now distracted and unconcerned about the scent that covered me. And I wanted to  . . . find something out.

“Kris, I want you to kiss me.”

“Hyorim . . . what are you . . .” He shook his head. “I don’t want you to push yourself. You’re not ready. I don’t want you to do things you don’t want or aren’t ready for.”

There was that warm bubble inside me again. This feeling was different from Taejoon. It was pleasant and . . . sparked something inside me that both intrigued and terrified me. “It’s okay.” And then I came up with something on the spot. “You said you’d erase what they did to me, didn’t you? Please, kiss me.”

Kris hesitated one moment more, then he raised his hands to cup my face. He leaned down and his lips ghosted over mine, barely touching. That bare touch sent shivers up and down my spine which was noted by Kris. “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.” I whispered. The shivers . . . had actually been rather pleasant.

Kris closed the last inch and his lips were on mine. It was all very . . . gentle. No. Not gentle. That wasn’t the right word. Slowly, my brain gave me the answer. The kiss was very loving, very tender. Unconsciously my hands clutched at his shirt, bringing him a little closer. And I realized something. I was kissing Kris back.

I didn’t do that with Taejoon.

Something strange was happening to me. My heart was hammering against my ribcage and I was warm, but the warmth was being swept aside by this . . . heat. It burned and scorched and sent shivers to my gut. My mind was going a little fuzzy and all I could focus on was how pleasant and good everything felt. And his scent . . . it was filling my entire being and—it was too much too fast. Panicking, I shoved Kris back at arm’s length, but didn’t move my palms from his chest. I took deep breaths, trying to clear my head.

Kris wrapped his hands softly around my wrists. “Hyorim?” He asked dazedly.

This had been different. Much different from Taejoon. I didn’t feel this overwhelmed when he kissed me or touched me. I had felt warmth, yes, but that was, I realized, from camaraderie. If that was what friendship felt like—I had never felt like that with Kris—then what was this? What was this heat in my gut, making it clench and making my brain go fuzzy?

I looked back up at Kris. “I don’t think you’ll have to teach me much.” I finally said.

“What?”

“I think . . . I think I’ve loved you for a long time.”

 

Taejoon was furious. He watched her kiss the Were who he supposed was housing her. He wanted nothing more than to tear the male’s throat out and drag her unconscious body away. But that was too risky, might even ruin his plans. So he just snarled and walk away. At least he knew his enemy’s face now and, oh, how he engraved that male’s face into his mind. When everything came together, he’d be sure to make the male wish he had never been born or touched Taejoon’s woman. A sick smile curled his mouth up, imagining all the pain he would inflict. He had learned much from the previous Alpha and the twisted little witch named Xun. He’d make Hyorim watch, to let her know she was his, and then, right before that er’s face, he’d take her and soon after kill him.

Then he focused on Hyorim.

Hyorim. She had refused him. Again. Why? He was everything a she-wolf sought, should be everything she wanted. He truly believed they were meant for each other. Why couldn’t she see that? At first it had been a ploy to gain her trust and then use her power—a practice he had stumbled upon by complete accident and was apparently forbidden by the Were world, but what did he care for rules? He still planned on using her power to his advantage, but he had found that being with Hyorim, though they were two times, calmed him. He wasn’t so angry and that age old ache that he carried in his body didn’t hurt so much. She was his balm. He had told her the truth when he had said he had loved her before, when he had been a clueless, reckless teenager. He hadn’t meant to say that, but hadn’t thought much of it when it seemed to help him in his quest to gain her trust. But he started saying all kinds of unnecessary things to her.

He needed her. She reminded him that he could still be human, that maybe he could change. That maybe he wasn’t such a monster.

But he wasn’t stupid. He knew he was in too deep, too set in his path to ever change. She had her secrets, and he had his and his secrets often weighed him to the bottom of an abyss that had him drowning. There was something dark in him, something he couldn’t control—it craved power and lusted after blood. He fought back the anxiety attack that tried to grip him. He couldn’t control the shaking that wracked his body.

He remembered that night, how one of them had dragged him off, screaming and crying. He remembered the feel of teeth chewing and tearing at his skin. He remembered how he had felt something hard under his hand in his struggles and miraculously slammed the sharp rock into the Were’s skull. The Were had backed off, shaking the pain away, but all he could really remember was the fear that propelled him forward to slam the rock over and over and over into its head. It wasn’t even recognizable when he was done. And then he had run, his friends’ voices screaming in terror and pain in the background, but he didn’t care.

He remembered that night well. Too well. It haunted him to this day. But mostly, he remembered how helpless he had felt and he vowed never to feel that way again. He refused to let someone be stronger than him—they were a threat. And he couldn’t allow that, couldn’t allow the possibility that they would attack him. So he would eliminate all possible threats, everyone and everything--and if anyone stood in his way, then that person was his enemy too and would be disposed of in the same manner.

And Hyorim . . . he needed her. She was his. She was his.

And he would use any means necessary to prove that point to her. If he had to destroy everything she knew, so be it.

 

Kris watched me carefully after I said I loved him. I was a bit shocked and hesitant about it all too. Then a smile slowly slid across his face and it was the most joyous thing I had ever seen on his face and it was contagious—I felt myself lighten just seeing it.

“Hyorim . . . can I kiss you again?” He asked. I hesitantly nodded. He leaned down and again, he kissed me tenderly. He pulled back, the smile still in place. “When did you figure all this out?”

I couldn’t tell him about Taejoon, still feeling the need to keep him a secret, so I said, “Just now,” which was partially true.

“That’s why you asked me to kiss you?”

“Yes.”

“Can I kiss you again?” I nodded and he pressed me closer to him as he kissed me. The kiss was different this time. It was slow and firm. It held a promise, but I didn’t know what of. Those overwhelming feelings flooded me again and I quickly pushed him away, trying to regain my ability to think coherently. “Am I going too fast?”

“I-I . . . yes. I just . . . I can’t think when you’re kissing me. It scares me.” He laughed and I looked at him, still a bit dazed.

“That actually makes me really happy, that I affect you that much.” He admitted. I scowled at him, but a blush flushed my face anyway. He just smiled. “Do you want to head back now?”

I nodded and the noticed his hand was outstretched. I realized he wanted to hold my hand and I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. Hesitantly, I placed my hand in his and his hand enveloped mine. His hand was so warm. A tingling sensation shot up my arm and made me warm. I looked at Kris and he smiled yet again.

“Have you always smiled this much?” I wondered aloud.

“Only when you’re around.” And then he added, "And only when you say you love me."

--------------------------

So this was extremely short. Sorry about that. But I really wanted you to see through Hyorim's eyes and how she was processing everything. I wanted you to see her figure out that she is indeed capable of love and has, in fact, been in love with Kris for a while.

Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!
inkraven
Seriously--I need more feedback on my latest Blog Post and my question/s. . . .

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
Macire #1
Chapter 54: Omg I seriously cannot wait till this is updated! It's so good!!
Lolypop123 #2
Chapter 54: Update if u can ^3^
mirjaelli #3
Chapter 54: cant wait for the next chapter
adorable_colours #4
Chapter 54: Hi author-nim
cxxxmxx
#5
Chapter 53: I just found your story actually. Hope you get the inspiration to continue this gem :)
tiffany93 #6
I'm a new subbie and I just read all of the chapters, and I love it. I'll be looking forward to what happens in the next chapters!
XaceX13 #7
Chapter 51: hmm.. i think that you can make a 2.0 for those who want to see the edited version :o
tamurr #8
Chapter 50: I sensed a little Fault in Our Stars near the end ;)
Good chapter (as per usual)! I'm really happy that they're getting together and stuff but I have this really bad feeling that you're going to make something awful happen to them :( (please don't :'( )
wallflowergurl
#9
Chapter 50: Kyaaaaaa!!!!! ~>o<~
Yeshh I love it so much. <3
OppaJjang98 #10
Chapter 50: Yehhh!!!!;) They'll be mates!! Are you going to write 'that' part??? Lol =*] Ah, poor Chen;( I hope he and Ali get back together!!! Love this chaptr!!!