And I was standing there, looking at them like a fool. My eyes lock at her petite body. She is really perfect. Her milky skin, her long legs, her silky brown hair and her dress to kill. Him, with white special tailored made shirt, Levi’s jeans, God-knows-how-much-that-Nike-cost shoes and black aviator. And me? tall, tanned, fat and wearing a pair of suppose-to-be-black-but-now-it’s-fades jeans, black T-shirt with our university logo, worn out sandals, and carrying 2 bundle of plastic bags. I look like a giant ready to rampage. I look at the window behind them. Maybe I should just jump and died. That will be epic.

She realizes that I just look at them and myself. She sniggers. She looks at me from my feet to my head. I look at her, raising my eyebrows. Something’s wrong? I ask in my head but never had the guts to say out loud.

Enough of making fool of myself, I start to walk leaving them and the class. While walking, as usual, people will stare at me. Like I’m some kind of freak show. Like I’m a very rare species and they should catch me and do experiments on how is a person like me can ever live in this world. I’m tired of this scenario. Every day is the same.

I threw the 2 bundles of plastic bags at them.

“What are you looking at?! You never see a fat girl walking? What did I do wrong to you guys?”I yelled.

No. Sadly no. I can’t do that. I never have confident to talk back. Because that is not the way I was raised. Should I blame this to my parents? Maybe. Maybe. So I just let them keep staring and my head only looking on the ground. I never dare to look up. I never dare to meet their eyes. Because I don’t want be agree with them and feel pathetic to my own self.

I keep walking with my eyes looking on the floor until I crashed a wall. One of the plastic bag tears and vomits all the paper inside it. This is very good day and tomorrow is my birthday. A very good way to celebrate it. I chase the papers that flying around the air. Some students there rather laugh at me than helping me out. I don’t care. I don’t need their help. I don’t need anybody in my life.

“Here you go,”

I was crouching on the ground, re-arrange all the papers. I look above and my heart stops beating for a second. There he is again, smiling while holding out the paper to me.

I take the papers from him and just stuff it inside the only plastic bag left. I say thank you and quickly gets up and walks from him. I wish I could be invisible. I wish he didn’t see the incident between me and my new friend, the wall. I wish he didn’t see people laughing at me. I wish he is not the one who laughing at me.

I heard running footsteps behind me. I quicken my pace and turn to the left thinking someone is in hurry. I don’t want to block his or her way.

“You sure walk fast!” he exhales a big breath. I tilt my head to my right. What’s wrong with him? What did he wants from me? Did I do something wrong just now.

“What do you want, Lee Joon sshi?” my voice sound annoyed. I really do. Because every time he besides me, I can’t be myself and its very tiring.

“I just want to help you carry all those bags. But you suddenly left,” he tried to take the only plastic bag left but I grip it tight. He looks at me, confused.

“It’s okay. I can handle it myself,” I took the plastic bag back. “Thanks anyway, for wanting to help,”

His face looks mad and that scares me. He grits his teeth; his jaw line appears across his face. He takes my arm that holding the plastic bag, remove my hand from the bag and he carries it. I could not say anything. When he touches my hand, I feel like this electric static all over my body. I feel a cold zap from my feet to my scalp. I couldn’t speak nor look at his eyes.

“Where are you heading to right now?” He asked with the plastic bag in his hand.

“Next class,” That is all I can mutter out from my mouth. If my face is fair as him, people could see my whole face is blushing. I’m thanking God for giving me tanned skin. We are both walking together but none of us talking anything. I’m tried to be myself, which is quiet. He finally speaks something.

“I think we arrive now,”

I look at him and then at my right. Yes, we finally arrive at the next class. He gives me back the plastic bag and says good bye.

“But, wait! Aren’t you going inside this class?” I asked, confused.

“Sorry! I got to do something,” he apologizes. “ But could you do me a favor? Could you sign for my name? Please?” he whispers next to me ear. I shiver.

“I’ll try,” that is the best reply I can think of right now. He smiles when he heard it. He waves and leaving the place.

I walk inside the empty class. I’m the first person to arrive. Suddenly I receive a phone call. I quickly pick it up. It’s from Mrs. Lee.

“I’m sorry but today class has to be cancel. I have to go home early today. Today is my son’s birthday,”

“What? But your class is right now! How I’m supposed to tell the others that you just cancel the class?”

“I’m sure they all will be happy if my class is cancel. And please give them all the notes that I asked you to photocopy. Bye. Thanks.” She hangs up the call.

I sigh. Why she even called? She should just let us wait for her for next 2 hours. It’s always, always happen like this. After that, I will be blame because not telling the students earlier. The professor just easily said the reason and I have to make up a lot of excuses to make it sound like an emergency. Oh well. At least Mrs. Lee remembered her son’s birthday. I wonder my parents remember tomorrow is my birthday.

to be continued...