I sigh. Why she even called? She should just let us wait for her for next 2 hours. It’s always, always happen like this. After that, I will be blame because not telling the students earlier. The professor just easily said the reason and I have to make up a lot of excuses to make it sound like an emergency. Oh well. At least Mrs. Lee remembered her son’s birthday. I wonder my parents remember tomorrow is my birthday.

I quickly text to 80 students of this class. That is why I rarely call my mother. My phone bill is high because I have to text and call the professors and the students. My mother always thought I have money to call my friends but so stingy to call her and my father. They could never understand the situation and I’m lazy to explain. My phone vibrates. I got some reply back. Some reply with thanks, some reply nothing. A lot of them reply with swear words, blaming me not telling them earlier. It’s never easy to be me.

There is group of students walking inside the class. I have to explain that Mrs. Lee just canceled the class for something emergency. The boys swear and grunt and the girls sigh to each other.

“Why you didn’t tell us earlier? If you did, I’m already half way to the concert!” One of the boys yells at me.

“Mrs. Lee just called me. I didn’t know she wanted to cancel this class. If I know I wouldn’t be here too,” finally speaks my voice out. They all blaming me when I didn’t do job right. But when I said I don’t want to do the job anymore, they all will say that I’m the best person to do it, that I’m a good leader and all. It’s hard to satisfy human. I’m rather to be friends with animals. I’m rather to be in the same cage with hungry lions than speaking with ‘tame apes’ that standing in front of me.

 “Here, take this,” I pass the hand out notes to all of them. “Mrs. Lee asked to read the notes first and we will discuss about it next week.”

They all take it and walk out from the class. But the boy who yelled at me earlier purposely throws the notes into the bin. He knows I saw it. He walks away with his friends with grins on his face. Probably feeling satisfied after he thinks he hurt my feelings. One of his friends is still standing here. He picks up the notes from the bin.

“You are being too nice. You shouldn’t let him do that to you,” He walks toward me and hand me the notes back. I take it back and say thanks.

“It’s okay, I’m used to it. It didn’t really affect me at all. I’m not ‘Stone Cold’ for nothing,” I lied. Of course it’s affecting me. I’m human too. I have feelings.

“Stone Cold?” he asked.

“Yeah, Stone Cold. Meaning that I’m like a stone and I’m cold,”

He chuckles when heard of it. Stone Cold is my nickname here. Most of the people here calling me by that name. I doubt they still remember or even know my real name. They decide to call me by that name after I appear emotionless and also that is the name of a WWE wrestler. Another way to mock me and my fatness. They all really did a good job.

“You have a nice name. They all should call you by your name,”

“I doubt they all know my name,” I take new notes from the plastic bag and hand it to him. Replacing the notes that already thrown in the bin just now. “Please give this to your ‘best friend’. Make sure he reads it,”

He shakes his head. “I could never be as patient and nice as you,” No, I’m not nice. I’m just stupid and coward, I say inside my mind. He takes the notes from my hand. Our fingers touch. I quickly take my hand back.

He says thank you and smiles at me then he walks out from the class. Smiles. I like when people smiles. Especially him. That boy just now also has a nice smile. But I don’t know why I can’t smile to people and to myself.

I look back the plastic bag. Oh Lord. This is very tough job. I have to give the notes to more then 50 students and only God knows where they are right now.

****************

[ 11 PM, 16^th July]

I run to my room and close the door. I couldn’t bear it anymore. I cried. It’s been so long since I was last crying. How could he? How could he do this me? What have I done to him? What sins that I commit in my past life?

I try to calm myself down. I breathe in and out but a loud howl escape my mouth. I cover my mouth with my hands. I don’t want anybody from the next room to hear me. Here am I, sitting behind the door crying on my birthday. How wonderful is that.

To be continued...

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*Author's note: Hello! I just want to say that I won't be able to update on weekend because I have don't have any internet acces. (I'm online from my office =p) Thanks to everyone who read, commented, subscribed or even just passing by. Thanks a lot. May God bless you all! Have a nice day!