~*~

  Heechul was not pleased last night when Donghae called him up in the middle of the morning, disturbing his beauty sleep in the process, to ask him for advice. Apparently, Donghae had just gotten messages from a secret admirer (as Donghae put it; Heechul preferred the term ‘creepy stalker’) and he didn’t know how to act on it. He made it perfectly clear that he loved Eunhyuk and he wouldn’t dare do anything to jeopardize their relationship, but he couldn’t deny that he liked the attention from the stranger.

  “Donghae, for all you know, he could be an 81-year-old e looking for some fresh, young meat to pounce on.” Heechul pointed out, scolding him like a cross parent. “Didn't your mother ever tell you not to talk to strangers?”

  “But he called me handsome!”

  “Geez, and they say I'm easy…”

  Donghae decided the best thing for him to do was to follow Heechul’s advice: forget about his stalker admirer and focus on his boyfriend. And that’s exactly why he ignored the messages left by the unknown number the following morning, replied to Eunhyuk’s usual ‘good morning’ text with a heart and informed his parents that he would be spending the rest of the day at his boyfriend’s house.

  But when he arrived at Eunhyuk’s house a half hour later, he didn’t expect to be greeted by an abnormally busty young woman with a smile so face that Donghae could probably peel it right off her face.

  “Hi, I’m Jina,” she waved at him, her s jiggling as she did the slightest move. “Who are you?”

  “Hi, I’m Eunhyuk’s boyfriend and I do not like what I’m seeing right now.” He spat out coldly, putting on the best face he had. “Please tell me you’re related to him.”

  “Oh, no, actually—”

  “Jina? Who is i—oh, Hae.” Eunhyuk’s eyes widened as he stared back at the fire in Donghae’s eyes. “You didn’t tell me you were coming over.”

  “So this is what you do when I’m not around, huh?” Donghae continued to shoot the girl a dirty look as he came in. “I thought you didn’t like girls anymore.”

  “Donghae, don’t be silly; Jina’s just an old friend.” He assured him, trying his best not to shrink under Donghae’s icy gaze. “She just stopped by to catch up on old times, s’all.”

  “Well, actually, I’m not much of an old friend as I am an old girlfriend.” She corrected in a honeyed tone—but Donghae wasn’t buying any of it. “But, don’t worry, our relationship was over a long time ago. I’m actually really happy for you guys. In fact, Hyukkie has told me all about you…”

  “‘Hyukkie’?” Donghae feigned a chuckle. “No, I don’t think so. Only I get to call my Hyukkie ‘Hyukkie’.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry,” her smile was still intact, and frankly, Donghae was quite impressed that she was able to stand her ground. “Force of habit, I guess. Hyukkie—I mean, Eunhyuk and I used to have the most adorable pet names for each other—”

  Eunhyuk had to (literally) hold Donghae back so he wouldn’t claw Jina’s eyes out. Chuckling nervously, Eunhyuk took the liberty of excusing the both of them so he could calm his boyfriend down in the kitchen.

  “I’m going to kill her, then I’m going to kill you and then I’ll tie you two up and throw you both into the ocean.” Donghae declared, prompting Eunhyuk to keep the kitchen knives out of his reach. “How many other past girlfriends have you been seeing behind my back?”

  “Donghae, I swear, I had no idea she was coming here. I didn’t even know she was back in town.” He explained defensively. “And rest assured, there are no more lingering feelings between us. I love you, remember?”

  Donghae pouted and looked away as he helped himself to the plate of pancakes sitting on the counter. “So what’s the story between you two? Is she your first love? First kiss? First time?”

  “Um…the last one.”

  In response, Donghae angrily stabbed a fork into the stack of pancakes, “What?”

  “I kinda lost my ity to her. And she to me.” He shrugged, smiling anxiously. “No biggie, right?”

  Donghae huffed, “Whatever. I bet she probably wasn’t even that good. And I can totally see how she lured you into bed—nice implants, Miss-I-Have-A-Bad-Back-Because-My-Fake-s-Are-Too-Heavy.”

  “Those aren’t fake,” Eunhyuk revealed, only realizing what he had just said when he noticed the look of surprise on Donghae’s face.

  “You’ve got to be kidding me.” He took his anger out on the pancakes as he cut himself a piece, nearly breaking the plate all the while. “She’s a stick; how can she have s that big?”

  “I don’t know, really. She’s a D-Cup and she—why am I still talking?” at this point, Eunhyuk wouldn’t be surprised if Donghae stabbed him with his fork. “Um, tell you what. I’ll ask her to leave so we can have the house to ourselves. How does that sound?”

  “Like a good idea.” Donghae nodded. “You best do it now or else I’m going to tell Kyuhyun that you walked in on Sungmin while he was showering the other day.”

  “It’s not my fault he doesn’t lock the bathroom door.” Eunhyuk muttered as he went into the living room to send Jina away.

  After the few longest minutes of his life, Donghae grew impatient of waiting and decided to join the two in the living room. But just as he was about to leave the kitchen, Eunhyuk returned, his gaze fixated on the kitchen tiles.

  “So, how did it go?” Donghae asked. “Did you make her cry? Please tell me you made her cry.”

  “Not exactly,” Eunhyuk rubbed his neck awkwardly. “She’s staying for dinner.”

  Donghae grumbled something incoherent as Eunhyuk tried to explain himself, but in the end, he found himself desperately begging, “Donghae, no! Put the knife down!”

~*~

  “Remind me again what we’re doing here.” Heechul griped as he followed one of his students into an upper class neighborhood. “I don’t like this place. Everybody’s so snooty and condescending—I can’t stand it.”

  “Ah, yes, because you’re not snooty and condescending at all.” Sungmin rolled his eyes as he stopped in front of a familiar house, only piquing Heechul’s curiosity even more. “Look, I’ve never asked you for anything before, so this is the least you could do for me.”

  “Sungmin, you ask me for stuff all the time.” He pointed out. “And why are we stopping here?”

  “This is Kyuhyun’s house.” He revealed, ringing the doorbell. “His parents kicked him out last night, and he hasn’t been taking it very well. I’m telling you, Heechul, I’ve never seen my boyfriend cry before. Seeing him so torn apart just breaks my heart and I aim to fix this whole thing. To be honest, I feel kinda responsible because I’m the one who kept bugging him to come out already.”

  “I see,” he tilted his head in question. “So why did you bring me along?”

  “In case I need back-up.” Sungmin flashed him a cheeky smile.

  As the door opened, Sungmin and Heechul put on their biggest, fakest smiles, which must have creeped Kyuhyun’s mother out a little as she gasped slightly upon seeing them.

  “Um, can I help you?” she asked, eyeing them warily.

  “Hi, I’m Sungmin. We’ve actually met before, last night at the restaurant.” He extended his hand for a handshake, but she didn’t reciprocate. “You may not recognize me because I’m in my boy clothes, but—”

  “Oh, it’s you.” Her tone suddenly turned cold and disdainful when she recognized him. “Kyuhyun’s not here, so run along now.”

  “Mrs. Cho, please,” Sungmin used his foot to stop her from closing the door in their faces. “Hear me out. I think you should give your son a second chance; he doesn’t deserve being thrown out of the house just because of his ual orientation and the fact that he’s in love with another man—”

  “Man?” Heechul scoffed.

  “Heechul, now is not the time.” Sungmin said through gritted teeth.

  “I’m sorry, who are you?” the middle-aged woman inquired. “You look familiar.”

  Heechul cleared his throat as he introduced himself, “Kim Heechul, Shinil High’s art teacher.”

  “I don’t understand,” she folded her arms across her chest, staring them down. “What are you two doing here?”

  “I’m here to ask you to take your son back, Mrs. Cho.” Sungmin clasped his hands together—he almost looked like he was begging. “Being away from his home and his loving family is just destroying him. This is not his fault; he didn’t choose to be gay—”

  “Well, technically, he did.” Heechul chimed in, causing Sungmin to clamp his hand over his mouth and push him away.

  “Being gay doesn’t make Kyuhyun any less of the wonderful human being he is.” Sungmin continued. “He’s still your own flesh and blood. He’s still your son—your baby boy. Isn’t he?”

  “We have made it clear to Kyuhyun that he won’t be welcome around here unless he breaks up with you and finds a perfectly nice woman to settle down with.” Kyuhyun’s mother was adamant. “Now, please leave unless you want me to report you for trespassing.”

  “Trespassing? But we hardly—” before Sungmin could even finish, he and Heechul were shoved out the door, leaving them right back where they started.

  “Well, that was rude.” Heechul remarked blankly. “Shall we go get a couple of strawberry smoothies now?”

  “Nobody does this to Lee Sungmin, nobody.” Sungmin stamped his foot on the ground like a sulky little boy. “I tried to be nice, I tried to reason with her, but since she wouldn’t have any of it, she’s going to feel the wrath of Lee Sungmin.”

  “It’s really creeping me out how you keep referring to yourself in the third person.” Heechul admitted, mentally preparing himself for another one of Sungmin’s diabolical plans. “So, what are you gonna do?”

  The evil smirk that crept across Sungmin’s face said it all.

~*~

  “This is childish.”

  Heechul could only sigh and shake his head as Sungmin continued to hurl eggs at Kyuhyun’s house. They had just finished throwing rolls of toilet paper at it a while ago, but Sungmin didn’t think that was enough, so now he was egging it. Sungmin seemed to be enjoying himself a little too much, as the boy couldn’t stop giggling with every egg he flung.

  “Sungmin, I think you’ve vandalized their house enough.” He tugged on his arm, urging him to flee the scene already. “Let’s go.”

  “Just one more,” Sungmin snickered as he chucked one last egg at the door, leaving them with a delightful surprise in the morning when they go out. “Alright, let’s ditch this hellhole.”

  The two were successful in escaping before anyone spotted them in Heechul’s car. They stopped first at a nearby café so Sungmin could buy a slice of cheesecake to take home to Kyuhyun (he was planning to use it as an excuse for why he was out of the house). Heechul then dropped Sungmin off at his house before he went home himself.

  As he got out of his car and neared his doorstep, he didn’t expect to see a snoring Siwon lying right outside his door, holding a bouquet of roses in his arms. Heechul quietly took out his phone and snapped a picture of his sleeping face (as if he hadn’t already done so numerous times before in camp) before gently kicking him awake.

  “Siwon,” he called softly. “What are you doing here?”

  Siwon rose, rubbing away the sleep in his eyes. “Oh, you’re back. I-I was waiting for you.”

  “Why?” he asked, tilting his head.

  “To give you this,” Siwon stood up and fixed some of the crumpled roses before handing it to the older man. “Um…I saw these and thought of you, s’all.”

  “Siwon, you do realize that you could’ve just left this at my doorstep with a note, right?” he smiled, amused as he sniffed the flowers.

  “I kinda wanted to give them to you personally.” He shrugged, his cheeks turning a very light shade of pink. “Do you like them?”

  “I do. This is really sweet of you, Siwon, thank you.” Heechul patted his head before unlocking the door and letting only himself in. “Drive home safely, by the way.”

  Siwon stood there, speechless and dumbfounded that he hadn’t been invited in. “Um, Heechul? It’s cold out here.”

  The door opened and Heechul’s arms popped out, holding out an oversized coat for him to wear. Siwon muttered something under his breath as he took the coat and draped it over his shoulders. As he took a whiff of the scent on the garment, he smiled when he realized that it smelled just like Heechul.

  Heechul stared out the window from inside the house, watching as Siwon made his way towards his car wearing the coat that he lent him. He felt bad to have treated Siwon like that, but Heechul told himself that if Siwon wanted a piece of him, then he had to work much harder than that.

~*~

  Dinner was absolutely excruciating for Eunhyuk the whole time. Whenever Jina regaled them with stories of her past relationship with Eunhyuk, Donghae would kick his shin under the table and by the time they were done eating, Eunhyuk could barely walk. And if looks could kill, Eunhyuk would probably be rotting in his grave right now, as Donghae wouldn’t stop glaring at him the whole night.

  “Donghae, I told you, I’m sorry,” Eunhyuk pleaded as he washed the dishes with Donghae by his side (he was probably planning to bash his head in with one of the larger plates once he finished). “I didn’t ask for this, you know. I never wanted her to come back and—and—”

  “Be such a homewrecker?” Donghae finished with hostility.

  “Donghae—”

  “Hyukkie~” Jina crooned as she appeared behind him, her hands on his shoulders. “Need any help with the dishes?”

  It took Donghae everything and a little more not to throw the inappropriately flirtatious girl out the window and into the street to get run over by traffic.

  “Donghae, why don’t you go make yourself comfortable in the living room?” Jina had a mischievous look in her eyes—it was unmistakable. “We can take care of things over here.”

  “Why don’t you go make yourself comfortable in a coffin underground?” Donghae muttered before leaving the two in the kitchen, much to Eunhyuk’s dismay.

  “So, Hyukkie,” Jina’s breath ghosted over Eunhyuk’s ear, making him shiver under her touch. “Have I mentioned how handsome you look today? God, I’ve missed you so much.”

  “Um, J-Jina,” he stuttered, nearly breaking a plate as he jumped when Jina grabbed his . “I’m not really comfortable with—”

  He was cut off when Jina quite forcefully attached her lips to his, causing Eunhyuk to jump to his first instinct and push her away. Unfortunately for him, as he tried to push her off, his wet hands landed right on her s, causing her white shirt to become damp and very see-through.

  “Ooh, Hyukkie, you’re so forward.” She giggled, her arms finding their way around his neck.

  “Whoa, what the hell are you doing?” he turned away when she attempted to kiss him again. “I have a boyfriend!”

  “So?” she asked, batting her eyelashes at him.

  “What do you mean ‘so’?” he asked, his voice rising as he finally managed to get Jina off him. “I love him. I love Donghae!”

  “…So you really are gay?”

  “Well, duh.” He would’ve done a facepalm if his hands weren’t all wet and soapy.

  “So you’re telling me you’re going to choose him over me? Me, who has s and a ?”

  “I’d choose Donghae over anyone else any day.” Eunhyuk made his point clear. “Now, I don’t mean to be rude, but I think you should leave now.”

  Jina, obviously offended, took a newly-washed plate, threw it to the floor which shattered it to pieces before storming out. Eunhyuk nearly had a panic attack at the little broken shards on his floor, but before he could even get a broom and clean it up, Donghae came in, wearing a proud smile.

  “I heard what you said to her,” he said, kissing the tip of Eunhyuk’s nose. “Thanks.”

  “I meant it, you know.” Eunhyuk wiped his hands on a towel by the sink before wrapping his arms around Donghae’s waist. “I really do love you.”

  “I love you too,” Donghae kissed his lips with a smile, but there was a scowl on his face when he pulled away. “Ew, you taste like girl-lips. You better wash your mouth out if you ever want to kiss me again.”

  Eunhyuk laughed, thinking Donghae was pulling his leg. But his face fell when he finally took notice of Donghae’s blank face. “Oh, you’re serious.”

  Donghae nodded before pulling Eunhyuk by the hair and shoving his face under the faucet as he decided to take matters in his own hands and wash his mouth out (with soap, by the way) himself. Eunhyuk could only stay still and take it, no matter how bad the soap tasted.

  As long as he’s happy, Eunhyuk told himself.

~*~

 “Mm, this is some great cheesecake, Min.” Kyuhyun remarked as he ate another forkful of said cake. “Are you sure you don’t want some?”

  “No thanks, I already ate.” Sungmin shook his head as he lay his head on Kyuhyun’s lap. “So, how are you doing?”

  “Thanks to this cheesecake, I’m feeling much better.” He grinned, and Sungmin smiled at how easy it was to please Kyuhyun with food.

  “Honey, I’m serious,” he said. “I know this isn’t really the best time of your life, but—”

  Kyuhyun interrupted him with a kiss on the lips; when they pulled away, there was some cake smeared on Sungmin’s puffy lips.

  “I really am fine, Min. I know I was really taking it hard last night, but I actually feel much better now.” He admitted. “I like being here in your house and I like being here with you. Besides, I just realized that I hardly spent any time in my own house, so nothing much has really changed.”

  “Well, if there’s anything I can do…”

  “Sweetie, you’ve done enough for me already.” He assured him, grinning. “By the way, have I told you that I loved you today?”

  “No, you haven’t.”

  “Well, I love you.”

  Sungmin giggled as he nuzzled his boyfriend’s ear, “I love you too.”

~*~

“You’ve stopped answering my texts. :( Did I do something wrong?”

“No…”

“Then why are you ignoring me?”

“Because I have a boyfriend.”

“That just makes everything much more exciting ;)”

“You’re crazy.”

“Only for you <3”

“DAMMIT STOP TEXTING ME”

“Would it help if I told you I’m in love with you?”

“Oh God…”

~*~