Mixed Feelings
Ever Enough
She did not know what had gotten to her head when she found herself heading back to Sejong’s room to tend the slight cut on his lip before making up her mind to stay for the night because Inhwa admitted she was a bit scared to be left in the awkward atmosphere; err (correction, no, Sejong did not want her to tend his wound, so she just left a box of necessary aid kits at his room and left him at his own device).
Also, Jongin complained about his throbbing head after the fight with Sejong, so she thought it was best to stay. Not because she believed she would make things better, but because she felt like her mind would be more at peace to see how things were going instead of wondering what everyone in the house was up to.
“Thought you’re staying?” It was Jongin from the outside balcony on the second floor, overlooking the front yard. Huisoo who had paused at the front gate only stared, so he began again, “Did I startle you?”
“You’re running out of painkillers, and yes, I was startled, it was like being caught sneaking out by my parents.”
“So?” He asked again, ignoring her banters, leaning forward to the bannister to get a clear view of the woman engulfed in the dim landscape lighting of the front yard.
“I was thinking of getting some for you. There must be an overnight pharmacist around here. It’s Pyeongchang afterall.”
“You’re overreacting. My headache, I’ll just have to doze it off.” He said warily. Which was not a surprise. Sometimes he even asked his fiancee for an IV injection after a long-horrible day at work.
“Wow, that’s odd for an appreciation note,” She grimaced, “It’s fine. I need a change of clothes myself. I’m off to work from here by the morning.”
Jongin contemplated. Medicine would be a great help for his head then, but he was not going to make Huisoo hunt down the medicines around at this hour by herself. It would not have been so difficult if he had been on good terms with both of his brothers as he could have comfortably assigned one of them to go with her. The drivers did not live here. They were off after 11 p.m. and would usually come back early in the morning.
“I’ll go with you.”
“What, no. I can manage, what do you take me as? I’m used to driving at midnight. I’m way past my residency years, I spent the first one in the US.” She had no idea it was necessary to say that but she did. “You've no idea how wild it was. And in fact, this time of the day is when I usually get over my hospital shifts,” She sassed while wrapping her white scarf around her neck without sparing a look at him.
When she was done, she looked up at his direction.
“Besides, what sort of sick man goes around finding his own medicine?”
Sick man, she said. Jongin laughed.
He tilted his head backward before returning his gaze at her emptily; confused at how such a short-unyielding comment swept his heart. It was weird that Huisoo’s domestic cockiness could quell the clutter in his head.
His mouth pulled back.
“My sort,” He then said, smiling like a fool, “Wait there, I’ll get my coat.”
It was past midnight when they exited a store where Huisoo was a regular. She made a few purchases like trousers and a light blue shirt and had run to the other store to purchase some ‘personal stuff’ as she called it that Jongin was sure referred to women’s underclothes. As much as Jongin tried to convince her that there was no point to rush the shopping time, Huisoo had come back within ten minutes to the sofa where he was waiting.
It was a new world for Jongin to have been going shopping at this time of the day. It was even a wonder for him to discover that Apgujeong held so many overnight stores and boutiques, and that according to Huisoo, most of the stores closed at 3 a.m. Seoul night life was indeed awesome.
No, Huisoo was more of a fascination. How could she know all of this experience when she was always on such exhausting hospital shifts?
“How’s the head?” She asked on their way to the parking area, “Your cheeks are flushing, you ok? Told you to just wait in the car.”
“Yeah, the painkillers are dope, but...” He tilted his head to the side and continued, “Are you sure you’ve been on hospital shifts all this time?”
She laughed before linking her arm with his.
“YaH, doctors are busy but we know how to have fun, too. You drink with Baekhyun-ssi and Minseok-ssi until dusk. We do that too, some go to play, others go to shop ‘til drop, like me.”
They chatted casually during the drive home with Hui Soo on the steering wheel. It did not feel odd that none of them had brought the topic about the previous arguments in the house to maybe figure out what they had to do with the situation and Sejong, but by the time they reached the house, Jongin was fast asleep on the passenger seat.
Her chest squeezed tight. She felt bad for allowing him to go, with head heavily loaded with work and family problems. She almost forgot how difficult it was for him right then. He had to shove away his plans and dreams for this life he was currently living and be the one his siblings and mom call when something went wrong. She bet he could not afford talking to his mother about Jongshin’s, Sejong’s, and Inhwa’s current issues because not only did he not want to bother her with the details, he also disliked the idea that his mom could possibly think he was whiny.
Knowing Jongin, he had grown up being shaped with the socially-constructed first-born traits; which Huisoo believed was very stereotypical. But she never dared to say this out loud to him because during the months of observing his characters and how he revolved around his siblings, it seemed that those constructions had been deeply ingrained in him to the extent it had become a belief for him. Perhaps, this was what Sejong tried to point out earlier when they had argued; that Jongin seemed to be trying so hard to fulfil the role of a family man that he never was; though not as bad as Sejong’s choice of words, but that was about right.
She winced at the thought of the scene and peeked at her iPhone that had beeped twice to signal a message from her department group chat. And being the light sleeper Jongin was, he woke up at the sound, stretched his back and massaged his temples, trying to comfort a monstrous headache.
“I’m sorry it woke you.” Huisoo told him apologetically, holding her phone close to her chest with the side of her head on the backrest. She was looking at him with honeyed-eyes.
Jongin could not help but smile at the sight.
“No,” He said and glanced at the dash-clock, then reached out to cup her cheek, “Why didn’t you wake me up?”
“Thought you should sleep some more.” She said and her hand came up to enclose his hand that was on her cheek.
“Well, I shouldn’t be keeping you out here. And also Han Hui Soo, that’s kinda creepy of you to be staring at me while I was sleeping.” He bantered.
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