When she was trying to hold onto him, he pushed her out. She would not lie, but there really was some time when she thought their relationship would go somewhere. They did not really possess many options. They did not want to suffer until they die just because of an arrangement. So, it was either they should embrace each other or let go. Then, she saw how he had tried to compromise. Therefore, she was willing to try. However, later did she knew that she was struggling by herself while he never sweated anything for the sake of the relationship.

It actually killed her when they did not talk. It killed her when he ignored her. It killed her when he was busy with his life. But then she was not in the place where she could complain about that, because at the end, he would remind her about what they were.

            “I’m sorry, Han. I really am.” Now he truly was sorry for her, but then he could not do anything. He was just too in love with the idea of his lost love. Seeing her again after two years gave him a painful realization that his current life was not the life he wanted.

            “You know that this isn’t the life I chose. I keep telling you about this...” He said carefully.

Seriously, Kim Jongin?

He made her flew away to Japan (calling it a winter break) and made her spent almost a week in a bloody lonesome house without having proper conversation with anyone besides Hayoung—through phone calls—and he said this was not the life he chose? She swore she fought so hard to numb out a hasty pinch in her chest before a single tear escaped through the corner of her eye; she quickly wiped it off. Too bad Jongin had spotted the little crystal before she managed to clean the track.

With cracking voice, she spoke, “You also told me about this,” Paused, “That you wanted to give it a try, and that we are adults with responsibility, you said we’re not the only reason for a thing happens that’s why you— tried to deal with it, and the last time you told me to get better this time, but what the hell, Kim Jongin?”

He swallowed, “That’s not enough.”

Whoa. That was quite a blow. Hadn’t she done her best? Was it never enough?

              “You’re not giving it a chance!”

             “I did, Huisoo, I did, and this is how we turn out! I tried to work this out, I tried, but it’s never like they say! It’s never like what you think!” His eyes flashed dangerously.

At this point, she turned out to be a highly combustible stick of dynamite while he was a lit match head ready to strike the fuse in a moment if the talk did not stop now. They were going to make some great explosions.

            “You didn’t. I struggled by myself and all you did was shutting me out miserably! You don’t even give a about what I feel!” She never wanted to fight because she knew how scary she might turn, but bad vibe had taken its toll over her. She had lost.

             “Did I tell you to choose to be miserable? You chose it to follow my lead and you never asked how deep or how far I will go. Don’t tell me something else, Han Huisoo.” He spat furiously. Only when she began to cry, he realized what he did wrong.

            “You told me that I’m the one who chose to be miserable like it’s a bad choice. Everything is my fault, isn’t it?” She looked at him in horror, her blood thumping in her ears. Her head had begun to spin.

              “Huisoo, I- ”

             “No,” She almost lost a grip on herself just by hearing him calling her surname, “It's needless to say,” She was choking from trying so hard to swallow her cries, “Even if all this time I know you’re selfish, I’m surprised that you turn out worse. I tore my heart out in front of you, and all you can say is I’m not enough,” She was raging now, standing in front of him, shouting like a mad woman, “You’re an arse, Kim Jongin.”

His voice was caught inside his throat. He closed his eyes and spoke to her in a thousand silent ways because some things were just too hard to say now. He did not want to say something that would possibly hurt anyone either way, but he needed to put an end to this.

               “I- I’m sorry,” H