“ You finished them? In a month? Are you an alien?” Jongdae gagged on his orange juice. The two are sitting across each other in the cafeteria. Waiting for Tao and Kyungsoo god know where they are.

“Uhm. Not quite yet. Essays are headaches.” Baekhyun told, his hips swag aside, lips perk into straight line. “ I think I’ll get away from nightmare if I keep it up.” He snaps his fingers.

Jongdae sign and shook his head. “I don’t get you, why freaked about it. It’s just a trip to Bucheon. I bet it’d be fun, I’m excited too. Even though I don’t really hang out with school’s events.”

Baekhyun blink. He stood straight and look away from Jongdae. You don’t understand. “Maybe, I’m fond here. The air’s nice, peoples are kind and roads are quiet and calm. It took all my fear and worries away. If, …I die here, I won’t regret it.” He looked out the blue sky, fluffy cloud and cool breeze.

“You sound like a dying old hag. You’re eighteen, not eighty. Not even a nail to grave. Why talking about it, regrets and so.” Jongdae scold. “You’re Byun Baekhyun, not William Shakespeare who writes gloomy and lifeless poets.”

“He’s not, I find him funny and sarcastic.” Baekhyun beams.

“Are you serious?" Jongdae scowls "He makes me thinks life is painful only with sorrows, pitiful.”

Baekhyun frowns. “Life’s indeed painful and horrifying. Because you won’t know what comes next. It’s like a Pandora box. You won’t know what’s inside if you didn’t open it. Is yours’ happy or sad? Only you can find it out. Maybe William’s wrote a part of his sad life, to make sure you weep a river and made sure you cherish your life. ” he said in confident, as if he knew it all.

“Stop. Stop it.” Jongdae proteases while covering his ears with all his might. “ You make me feel sorry for living on earth and life so gloomy. Mine’s already gloomy buried with books, still don’t make it worst. I don’t want feel like falling to abyss.”

“See, that’s why you’re excited with the trip. You find your way to be freed.” Baekhyun congratulate him.

 “And you find yours’ living here, not leaving elsewhere?” Chen shot him a glare.

Baekhyun shrugged “I don’t know yet. That leave to how my destiny goes.”

Chen crease his brows “You’re weird, Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun just smile, looking sideways as if to avoid contact, an excuse to find another two familiar figure. "

“Because of you we are late.” Tao hissed, trailing behind Kyungsoo.

“I told you to go first didn’t I. Damn that Kim Jongin, wasting my time babbling bulls.”

“Obviously he likes you.” He jumps when Kyungsoo stop suddenly. “Hey, what that’s for.” Thing is he didn’t imagine Kyungsoo’d slap the back of his head.

“That’s a very wrong thing to say mister. Everyone in the school knows ing Kim Jongin is a flirt and a playboy. I’m not stupid to fall on his obvious trap, thought I told you that.” Kyungsoo turn his heels and continued walking, didn’t even care to care a whining in pain Tao.

“I doubt that. Yes he’s famous among students not to mention everyone loves him but ought to know the way his looks at you and no one else. About him being a flirt and a playboy? That is serious bull.”

“You don’t know how it felt like.” Kyungsoo mumble quietly.

“Really, boy you didn’t notice yourself did you? Your eyes speak the truth. They’d be like ‘Boy, are you an idiot? Or do you know you’re hot.’ “ he didn’t noticed when the second impact came. Kyungsoo elbowed his stomach hard, as in HARD.

Poor Kyungsoo was blushing in crimson red from head to toe. “S-s-shut up. H-He probably think I’m f-fun to mess with.”

Tao half kneel on the floor. He should be taught not to play with Kyungsoo’s fire. Kyungsoo is strong despite his small size. He had talent to hit people in the right spot to make them beg for mercy, and now Tao acknowledge the rumors. Kyungsoo didn’t feel single guilty for the other. He keeps on walking towards the cafeteria without looking back at Tao to check if he’s alright or not as meeting his seniors is his first priority for now.

“ F***… K-Kyung s-soo … you bas-tard.”

Jongdae called out and waves his arm when he saw two wanted figures walking towards their table. Baekhyun too, turns around and spot a cute doe eyed Kyungsoo and a paining Tao following behind him. Tao’s face is pale and sour as if he just puked.

“What’s wrong with you?” Jongdae looked up at Tao, frowning as Kyungsoo quietly sat beside him, Tao opposite him, beside Baekhyun.

“Hyung, h-he hit me.”  Tao cries, pleading his innocence to Baekhyun hoping his hyung would do something, whining like a child doing his aeygo, rubbing his face on Baekhyun shoulder and tugging the elder’s sleeve for attention.

Baekhyun scroll him a face and push him aside. “You must have done something. Kyungsoo wouldn’t whack other without reason.”

“It’s his fault himself!” Tao protease. “He wouldn’t admit Kim Jongin likes him and he too had a crush on Kim Jongin.”

There was a long silent. Kyungsoo had hands on his face, probably cursing. Jongdae and Baekhyun stare at Tao as if he had said the impossible.

“ You can’t be serious. Kim Jongin? The Kim Jongin? Our Kyungie and Kim Jongin?” Jongdae emphasized.

Baekhyun raise him a brow, pulling his glasses down. “You worth a hit on the head.” He pushed them back and continued his business with his phone. “I give you ‘the byun’ permission Kyungie.”

Kyungsoo looked at Baekhyun from the gaps of his fingers. “I thank you, great Byun.” Then to Tao, giving him death glare, dark colored aura coming from his back towards Lil Tao.

“I speak the truth you sicken role play freaks.” Tao demanded. “Chen Chen, you ought to believe me.” Tao grabs Jongdae’s hand suddenly, flinched the soul out of him.

The more Chen struggles from Tao’s inhuman grip, the more he struggle the more pain he feels. “Tao-ah, I want to believe you but it’s really, really an impossible situation to happen. There’s no way Jongin’d like Kyungsoo. He’s the I.am.Mister.Perfect while Kyung is pretty but a boy who lives eating books, no offence. They’re totally from different worlds. No way, no chance.”

Kyungsoo nods in agreement.

“By the way, It might be just a fling.” Chen continues. Tao pouts and slips his hands away from Jongdae’s wrist.

The clutter from Baekhyun pulled their attention. He dropped his phone and it fall flat from the table to on floor, visible crack on the side.

“ , Baekhyun! Your phone.” Chen freaked and grabs his phone checking if there’s more damage. Kyungsoo was in blur with the situation. Baekhyun sat still. His hands stoned in mid air where he accidentally drops his phone. His face crunch, looking hurt. Tao in the other hand paled. He bit his bottom lips as if he was holding back on something.

“ Poor thing. That’s permanent, you have to renew the whole thing Baekhyun.” Chen sat on his place and showed Kyungsoo who was curious. “Aish, what a waste, it’s a latest model too. You sure are rich Baekhyun.” Chen looked up to find Baekhyun was gone, so is Tao. “Where’d they go?”

Tao pushed a breathless Baekhyun into the nearest classroom he could find. He closed to door and locked them. Making sure they weren’t noticed and followed on the way, Tao looked at Baekhyun with worried eyes.

“Hyung, you alright?”

Baekhyun sighs “A little.” He was sweating. He put a hand on his right chest, breathing in and out slowly to as if to calm himself. He face went paler and paler as his breathe harder and faster as if he had ran non-stop for kilometers.

“ Do you think he loves you? He’s just playing with you idiot.”

Baekhyun in a sharp breath. He remembered those line clearly, those harsh and hurtful words from a certain pretty lips which speak words of pain and toxic.

Tao panicked. “Hyung, are you alright?” he ran beside Baekhyun to gave him support. He’s falling.

Baekhyun sat on a chair. He grip Tao’s wrist “Get out Tao. I need to be alone.” His voice is cold, strong and firm. Tao shook his head. Baekhyun looks like he’s going to faint, suffering for air.

“Please, you must go. Tell Chen not to wait me. Tell him I ha –“ He gasps and fall on the floor. He hears Tao’s cries. He felt dizzy, he sight blur and the room where swirling round and round, swallowing him.

You know nothing.

“ I’m telling you the truth Baekhyun-ah .I did so because I’m a friend.”

No

“Princess? More like a pauper”.

Shut up

“ Stop before you bare more pain. He’s mine and only mine.”

Don’t you dare

“He got everything and you have nothing. Only I can give him a perfect life.“

Liar

“ See, I told you. He never loved you. He only loves me! Goodbye Baekhyun.”

Get out!

“Die.”

Chanyeol…

Baekhyun screams and fall on the floor. He was crying. Tears fall like summer rain, one drop followed by another, a thin line to a stream. Baekhyun sobs quietly as he tries to suppress the pain biting his lips till it bleeds. Whimpers and angry sobs filled the empty room later. He curls himself to a ball,

Tao paled and pulls Baekhyun to his lap. “Baekhyun-hyung, where your medicine?” Tao hisses in pain when Baekhyun digs his nails into his arm, cutting a long ugly mark.

Baekhyun pushes him aside “GO! You don’t have to see this.”  He yells continue screaming and in pain. Tao stare in horror while Baekhyun trashes around as if he was breaking apart piece by piece. He noticed when a bottle of stripe pills slip out from Baekhyun’s pocket –pain killers. Tao reach for the bottle and pour out the pills. He curses himself for dropping the bottle. Now the pills had roll all over the floor. Throwing the clean ups aside, he fed Baekhyun two pills.

“Baekhyun-hyung, HYUNG!” Tao shook him. Baekhyun was pale as sheet, sweat damping his face and some hair sticks on his forehead. “No, no no no no no! Please don’t fall asleep. Hyung, talk to me.”

“What the hell is going on?” an unfamiliar voice boom the room. Tao raise his head and saw the principle right in front of him. So were Kyungsoo and Chen with face of horror. The door seems to be kicked open by force. Kyungsoo had his mouth covered while Chen looked as if he’s about to faint.

“ Mr. Jung. I-I don’t know. Baekhyun-hyung, he -…” Tao noticed he was crying too, his droplets of tears falls on Baekhyun’s pale cheeks. He holds on to the elder’s cold hands to keep them warm. He can’t think straight, he wasn’t sure what’s he doing.

Yunho ran towards Baekhyun and feel his temperature. It’s beyond cold. He curses under his breath and dial a number. Tao bet he’s calling for an ambulance. They were lucky as the bell had rang minutes ago and students ought to be back to their respective classes which was also opposite site from the room they’re in.

Tao call upon Baekhyun when he felt the elder stir a little. Chen and Kyungsoo now on his side, calling Baekhyun hoping their voices could reach him, waking him up. Baekhyun gave a respond, he mumbled something but was too soft to be heard. Tao leaned down. “What’d you say?” unfortunately Baekhyun’s too weak for a second. Frustrated, Tao shook Baekhyun with bigger force, blowing Kyungsoo and Chen’s mind up.

“ Wake up! Hyung, Baekhyun-hyung. I beg you, wake up!!!” Tao sobs. “What did you say? Tell me!” he wails.

“…Chan…”

Tao stops. His eyes widen in surprise. “What?”

“Chan…Hyun” Baekhyun’s voice is weak, much more soft than a whisper. His body limps down and still.

Tao screams in agony.

Baekhyun woke up by gentle winds whispering aside his ears. For the first time from many, he felt no pain. No pain on his chest, back or his shoulder. Not inside nor the outside. Nothing. He open his eyes only to find himself lying on a beautiful field, full of various types of flowers. Some he recognizes some don’t. Lilies, Lavender, Poppy, Lilac, Dandelion, Baby breath and many more. He heard soft rustle by the field. Curios, he called out.

“Who’s there?”

The figure showed himself. Baekhyun eyes widen in full surprise, he didn’t expect to see him here, sharing the same dream with the ones he adores. He smile at the boy, his precious little boy. He waved at him calling him closer. The boy did what he’s been told, as always the obedient child Baekhyun made him to be. A child who made him see miracle, chances to live. But guilt builds inside him. He left his boy just like how he left... He left him with a group of strangers the boy never met. But he knows. It’s all the best for them both, and all of them. No had no choice then. A quick decision must be made and that’s the best choice.

Baekhyun hugged the boy when he reaches. Telling the boy how much he missed him, how much he loved. Asking for forgiveness he, who could never ask for, not from anyone. The evil , cruel side of him shouldn’t be forgiven.

“How have you been? Did they treat you well?” he asked with his gently voice of melodies, bushing the boys hair neat, away from the wind.

The boy look at him, dark orbs with cameral hair, granted with fine figures just like fine china –not fragile but strong as iron. The boy pulled his sleeve gentle, a child calling for attention. He points at a direction, far end the field. Baekhyun followed but sees nothing.

“What do you want me to see?” he sat on the field, was on a hill and could see the whole wide field underneath. He took the boys hands. It was cold as ice. “What’s wrong?” he asks again.

The boy squeezes his hands, still pointing at the same direction. 

Baekhyun frown at the boy but grant his wish anyways. He look ahead, beyond he could peek. At afar, he could see blur. A blur picture of two figure standing on the other side of the field. Looking at them, him. Baekhyun draw out a shaky breath. His hands tremble and his lips… His eyes stings. Now, now the pain has come. Sharp and unbareable. He’s down to his knee, hands reach up to cover his mouth to suppress the pain –in the heart.

Chanyeol

He’s wearing white, just like Baekhyun is. All of them are wearing white. White, his favorite, the symbol called of foolishness and purity. Chanyeol was looking at him, he eyes sad and dark. The ones which he remembered, the pair of shinning orbs like precious back pearl and full of life is no longer there. Baekhyun felt a pang in his heart because of that. He had murdered a lively soul. What a sin he had commited.

Chanyeol was carrying a girl. She was wearing a laced dress and her hair braid loosily with flower crown on her head. Both of them are stating at them. And they are staring right back.

The he felt the boy’s little hand slipping from his grip. Baekhyun turn to look at him.

“Where are you going?” he asked, voice shaking afraid.

The boy never turns back but keep walking forward, towards Chanyeol and the girl he was holding. Now he sees Chanyeol taking the boy’s hand. A last glance from three of them and turn away vanished with the winds.

Baekhyun was dumbfounded. So this is what my destiny is –being alone forever. He bring his lap to his chest, holding himself into half and closes his eyes. Telling himself it’s just a dream, a horrible dream that he will wake up from. But …, what’s the difference when his reality is also a nightmare.