Chapter 12

The balls of my feet were burning they felt they were going to fall off like the soldiers in the war that got trench-foot. I had no idea of the time and I had no idea what I was doing.

Huh I’m an idiot, but what can I do? I love Myungsoo the father of my child, I just don’t get all this! This-this separating and sending him to a boarding school? Like what is that going to prove? How is that going to change anything? I’ve already fallen in love with my brother, we’ve already had and I’ve already fallen pregnant.

I just don’t get why things are that way, but they are and look at me now. I’m here in god-knows-where, in the rain, I’ve run away from home and I’m trying to find my brother. Gosh, I really do hate that I love him. Why did I have to fall in love with him? Love it’s…. Unexplainable. To fall in love just seems so extraordinary.  And when the one you love, loves you back . . . it’s an overwhelming miracle I suppose.   

Huh, I mustn’t let my thoughts get the better of me. I sighed and continued walking like an abandoned boat that had no destination. 

I noticed my surroundings were familiar – I had walked around in a circle and was standing on Bora’s verge.

Okay just quickly walk past the house…. “Jinah? SONG JINAHH!” Aish! How embarrassing.

I whipped around sheepishly to face her. Her smile was so sweet but her eyes wavered with concern. 

“Are you okay? What are you doing back here?” She asked worriedly. I in my lips and looked to the side.

“Uh- I don’t know what to do.” I said as I looked down at my shoes with little raindrops splattered on them. 

She took my hand startling me. “You’ve got to see this!” She advised as she dragged me inside. I began to panic. What if her mother sees me?!

“Relax my parents are out.” She said sweetly as she turned the volume up on the T.V.

“You are so lucky I recorded this! Watch.” She said as she pulled me down beside her on the couch. I watched anticipating what she wanted me to see.

I almost fell off the couch when a picture of me was on the news.

“. . . Song Jinah, the daughter of Song’s watches has allegedly ran away from home after a disagreement with her –“ I immediately turned the T.V off and stood up in fury.

Huh, I just couldn’t believe my senses. “I’m not going back!” I said firmly.

“No one is forcing you too.” Bora replied. I turned and gave her a small smile.

“So what are you planning on doing?” She asked curiously. I sighed and sat on the arm of the couch.

“I’m planning on seeing Myungsoo. He is staying at a boarding school –“

“What the hell?! Oh my gosh you cannot be serious! Wow your parents must not like you guys at the moment geez and the point is?”

“No idea. But I’m going to get him and we’ll-“

“Run away together to get married and live happily ever after. How romantic.” Bora dramatically cut me off sounding like a Disney princess.

“YAH!” I yelled and threw a pillow at her. She laughed when she caught it and set it down on her lap.

“So what boarding school?” She questioned.

“Infinite boarding school for boys.” I replied. Her face lit up.

“No way, no way! We have to get you into that school! My grandfather is the principle/headmaster there! Oh this is great!” She cheered. My mind boggled.

“Um what do you mean ‘we have to get you into that school’?” I questioned.

“Well I’ll ring up my halabeoji and speak to him for you.” She said. I raised an eyebrow in confusion.

“But what are you going to say? I’m a girl you know.” I pointed out. The boarding school was for boys so I didn’t know what master plan she was thinking of.

“You are like homeless now which means, even with the money I gave you, you won’t be financially supported so you need a job but you still need to be educated.” She said pointing out the obvious. My expression fell as I stared her down giving her a sarcastic smile.

“Thank you professor genius, I never would have thought.” I ironically teased. She huffed and screwed in her eyebrows.

“Jinah, I’m trying to help you. What I mean is . . . I think it’s best if you teach there.” She said slowly. My eyes widened, I thought she had gone mad. How can the Song Jinah be a teacher at a boy school? I don’t even know anything!

“Look I know what you’re thinking, but trust me on this. You just have to teach out of the textbooks and study extra hard. So you’re killing two birds with one stone. You are earning money and receiving an education tadaah!” She applauded. I just looked at her taking in what she said, honestly it wasn’t a bad idea but I wasn’t to keen on it.

“But Bora everyone will be able to tell I’m still a high school student.” I pointed out. I gulped when I witnessed a certain creepy smile on her face.

“Jinah~” She chimed. I took a step back. 

“You’re scaring me~” I replied in the same tone.   

"Remember that Japanese drama about that old hag of a teacher who was secretly a super cute pop star?" She questioned with a cheeky grin. My eyes bugged out. 

"No! No! No! No! No, Bora absolutely not! I know what you’re thinking, there is no way I'm gouging to dress up as a middle aged unattractive lady to teach at a school. Never! Never ever ever ever! Never ever!" 

*** 

Kill me now ... " Good morning class, Miss Bong will be your new teacher. Please look after her kindly." Miss Bong? Bong?! I am so ashamed right now. Bora I hate you!  

I displayed my best smile and stood behind the tall desk like lecture stand. "Annyeonghaseyo, as mentioned before I will be taking over this class." I said trying to sound authoritative and as not-as-Song-Jinah-like as possible. 

The class looked like they couldn't care less. I gulped and took out the roll. 

"Kim Jong il?" I read out the first name. I screwed in my eyebrows and heard the class snicker. I adjusted my glasses and sighed. 

"Ha Ha very funny. Where's the real roll call?" I questioned getting frustrated. Hearing no one reply I groaned and flicked through the muddle of papers on the desk. "Right let's get started." I said and called out attendance. 

"L Kim?" I paused and looked up. Was this another joke what kind of name is L? I scanned the room looking for the potential hand to be raised. 

"L Kim? Is L Kim present?" I questioned getting impatient. The class muttered before one of the boys said "Here."  I looked up seeing a hand at the corner of my eye. 

"He transferred here yesterday." Someone called out. I nodded but suddenly became curious of this L. I looked in the direction that I had seen his hand and I felt my heart skip a beat. Myungsoo. Ha appa you think changing his name would hide him? Never underestimate me; I am after all the Queenka who gets what she wants. 

"Are you L?" I questioned nervously. He had his head on the desk not bothering to look at me. I heard a noise coming from him, whether it was a 'yes' or a moan/groan I wasn't sure.  

"Are you L?" I questioned again timidly. He jerked his head up with a very vexed expression. 

"Yes I said. Why do you care anyways?" He asked rudely. Of course I was shocked. Since when was my step-peasant ever rude like this?

"I just wanted to know who this 'L' was." I stated blushing. He scoffed and looked directly into my eyes. It's me Myungsoo. Notice me.  

But he didn't. His eyes sent daggers down my spine. I gulped and he just rested his head back down on the desk.  He's so hot but so "Rude!" I blurted out. Lucky the boys didn't really bother to pay attention so I was relieved. 

I started class having absolutely no idea about anything that came out of my mouth, I just simply read out of the fairly thick science text book and wrote key notes on the board. 

"And who established the DNA structure?" Some boy asked. How was I supposed to know that? I fidgeted and scurried through reading the words. 

"J-jamesue Wat-wat-sen-son-" I stuttered in poor English until I was interrupted.

"James Watson and Francis Crick." A student corrected in perfect English. "Teach are you really a teacher? You look like a crazy old cat lady." The student questioned I slammed my text book on my desk. 

"Of course I'm a teacher. Why?" I challenged standing up for myself. I felt like I was going to explode and wrap my hands around his throat. No one was going to get in my way of getting Myungsoo back but the question was how, how was I going to get him back?

"Nothing." He shrugged.  I'll be keeping an eye on you mr-I-think-I'm-better-than-you.  

I must say I was pretty proud of myself on the way I taught for the first few hours. Personally I think I’m the best teacher there is in the universe. Okay okay, a not so smart teacher who had lessons on how-to-teach but that’s not the point. 

A student raised their hand which put a smile on my face. Of course they rely on me, me, their teacher.

“Um teach, when are we actually going to do work?” He questioned. I narrowed in my eyebrows and took a step back. Didn’t they like my teaching? I had to be frank, yes, okay; I had to admit that I went overboard. 

I instructed them to open their text books and answer the questions. I good bored just sitting at the desk. I wondered what teachers normally do when students do their work. I remembered what Bora told me. She said to not tell Myungsoo until I’m ready  (financially) because if he knew, we’d go straight away and the school would find us – after all it would be suspicious because the daggy new teacher and the new boy,  disappear after the first day and since I’m technically wanted . . .  I sighed and my eyes rested on Myungsoo.

I wondered what he was thinking, if he was thinking of me. I studied his beautiful perfect features remembering how his lips felt against mine and the way it felt to touch him.

“What?! Why do you keep staring at me?” He surprisingly yelled. Startled I sat up straight and adjusted my glasses blushing. What was I supposed say? That I was checking him out? No I couldn’t say that.

“You weren’t doing your work.” I said slowly. He rolled his eyes and muttered something under his breath that I couldn’t hear.

“Do you think I want to do my ‘work’? Heck do you think I even want to be here? Because I don’t.” He argued sounding vexed, looking right in my eyes. It was like his eyes were a ‘safe zone’ a place where you only had to look at it to feel safe, protected, and cared for. But the emotion in them saddened me. It pained me to see him look so unlike his normal self.    

“Ayo, now this is getting awkward. Teach tell us about yourself. Are you married?” A student asked breaking the tension. And ruining our potential moment. I tore my eyes from Myungsoo and cleared my throat with a nervous smile as I shook my head.

“Do you have a lover or boyfriend?” Another student asked. I glanced at Myungsoo and blushed as a small smile crept on my lips. When he looked at me I diverted my eyes away and caught the eyes of a suspicious looking student who seemed to observe me like a hawk. I bet he suspected something fishy.

Feeling uneasy, I cleared my throat once again and straightened up my glasses. “No. No I do not.” I said shakily. 

“Teach, do you have any hot female siblings?” One questioned earning high fives. I rolled my eyes. Boys these days.

“No the only sibling I have is a step-peasant.” I foolishly blurted. Oh no, another slip up. At the corner of my eye, I saw Myungsoo look up. I glanced at him seeing his tired and sad eyes suddenly look slowly up at me before he looked back down and slouched in his seat. Neh, Myungsoo, it’s me. I’m here right in front of you. Can’t you notice me?

I did listen to Bora’s instructions about not letting Myungsoo find out until I have sufficient funds to support ourselves and the baby, but my thoughts and feelings betrayed her. I couldn’t help it.

Just a little longer, I don’t know for how long. A week, three weeks, two months . . . however long it’ll take until I feel like we can make it on our own – then I’ll tell him.  

I suddenly questioned. Was all this necessary? Was I over reacting about the whole situation? Was I wrong?

I couldn’t make up my mind about it but I’ve gone this far now. I’ll do anything, I’ll climb over any wall, and I’ll even give a part of me away, just so I can be there to love him.  That’s all I want. But what I want is what the world says I can’t have.

I am soo sorry. I have been M.I.A (missing in action) for a very long time. It just very hectic, but I'm back and I'm sorry for the not-so-good chapter. I do hope that I havn't caused people to lose interest in my story even though they probably have. Oh well what can I do?