Chapter 10

We stepped in the house together. The closing of the front door gained our parents attention. I expect we both were shocked seeing Appa home as well. 

“Oh what are you two doing . . . back?” Umma slowed down the end of her question when she eyed our entwined hands. Suspicion filled the air around us, making me nervous and I couldn’t help but tremble.

Appa’s smile faltered when he saw our hands as well. Both parents slowly looked up from our hands and into our eyes like two hawks keeping watch on their prey.

“Appa, Umma.” Myungsoo addressed. They looked back attentively.  I looked up at Myungsoo who then squeezed my hand assuring me that it was going to be okay.

“Listen there’s something we have to tell you. Something that is important. Now I know that Jinah and I haven’t really gotten along these-”

“I’m pregnant.” I blurted out. I couldn’t stand Myungsoo’s beating around the bush and got straight to the point. Our parents gasped in astonishment and Appa supported Umma who felt like she was going to collapse.  

“What did you say?” Appa asked out of disturbance. Myungsoo gulped and my eyes started to water.

“She said she’s pregnant. The child is ours.” Myungsoo replied steadily. My own mother’s face, I don’t think I’ll ever forget that face of pure disgust and betrayal. Appa was silent he just didn’t say anything. He was fuming inside; his face was going red like a tomato as if he were about to explode. 

Umma supported her weight on her feet and slapped Myungsoo hard enough to redden his cheek and her hand.

“It just goes from one extreme to the other with you two!” She yelled. Never in my existence have I seen my mother look as furious.

“You! How dare you touch my daughter your own sister! What were you thinking!? That you could take advantage of her because she is a girl living under the same roof? You pig! You bastard! You selfish bastard!”  Umma yelled as she hit Myungsoo’s chest. I couldn’t stop my tears from falling.  Myungsoo stood taking her hits as he looked to the side.

I grabbed onto Umma’s arms. “Umma stop beating him! It wasn’t like that! Calm down!” I begged tugging on her arm. She wickedly looked at me, her nostrils flaring.

“Calm down? You expect me calm down. Aigoo you wicked child.” She yelled and starting tugging at my hair by the roots making me scream.

“How could you do this to me? If your plan was on destroying the only happiness I have left then you have succeeded. Let’s go, we’re going to abort the baby!” Umma roared as she started dragging me outside by my hair.  The pain was torturous.

“NO!” Myungsoo and I screamed together. I tried to stay my ground but ended falling over; Myungsoo rushed to my side and cradled me in his arms. Appa grabbed Umma by the shoulders and calmed her down while Myungsoo was my hair to calm me down as well.  

Appa steered his wife inside to rest and went in to follow.

“Appa?!” Myungsoo called behind him hopefully. Hope . . . that’s what we needed. He looked at the both of us; me in Myungsoo’s embrace, and like before he said nothing. You could see it in his eyes that he was disappointed. He sighed and gave us the cold shoulder as he went inside.

I let my tears flood out of my eyes and onto my lap. Myungsoo steadied me up and soothed me down. I really respect the fact that he stayed strong but I knew he felt just as worse, just as wrecked as I did. Before we could do anything the front door opened again.

“Come in.” Appa said weakly as he held the door open for us. We shyly  and timidly walked past him and stood together in the entrance as he closed and locked the door behind us with a loud thud. The noise made us get a shock.

“Go up to your rooms, your own rooms one by one and stay in there. I’ll lock the door behind you. Actually Myungsoo stay down here.’’

I did what I was told but I paused at my door. I needed to talk to Myungsoo to sort things out so I bravely turned back and went downstairs with nothing but silence welcoming me.

I didn’t see Appa, I didn’t see Myungsoo the only person I saw was Umma reading a newspaper.

“Where is Myungsoo and Appa?” I questioned. Her eyes didn’t dare to leave the paper.

“Where they are doesn’t concern you the fact is they’re gone.” She said lazily, but I knew in those eyes of hers she was broken. The whites of my eyes increased. 

“Gone? Why?” I questioned. Umma groaned and looked up at me setting down the newspaper.

“Don’t you see Jinah? By this happening you two have caused dishonor and disgrace to what was once a happy family. Your step-father and I have discussed the matter. You’ll have an abortion-“

“Bu-“

“-DON’T INTERRUPT ME KI- SONG JINAH! No buts, this isn’t a matter to negotiate! You’ll get an abortion, and for the time being we’ll keep you two away from each other.” She concluded.  But it’s my baby! MINE! Who is she to tell me what to do with it? This is a matter between me and my partner!

“NO! You can’t do this! Take me to Myungsoo. I need Myungsoo!” I wailed. Umma rose to her feet and crossed her arms.

“Oh stop it already! You don’t need him, you don’t love him. What’s done is done!” She snapped. I sobbed as I sat myself down on a chair.

“I do love him.” I said quietly.  That’s right Umma hear my words I love him.

“Oh please, you’re a kid you don’t know what love is! You were just infatuated with the whole idea of living with a boy your age.” She argued back. This made me furious. I questioned what happened to my loving Umma? From being so nurturing to being like those rich Ummas in dramas . . . did I cause her to be that way?

I banged my fist on the table and shot out of my seat. I felt my forehead burn up and my nostrils flared.  

“Even before I knew he was going to become my brother, I have always loved him. The first day I started the school I’m attending. I have loved him. Can you imagine how it felt, what I went through, when we were told to be siblings?! I went through hell purposely trying to dispose of my feelings because I didn’t want to cause harm. But I couldn’t cope being like that anymore. You’ve always told me to be true to myself and now you tell me I’m wrong?” I rambled. I gasped and shook my head as I saw Umma’s blank expression.

“There’s no point in bothering to talk to you. I love Myungsoo and I’m having his baby, I’m the carrier not you. I’m leaving!” I harshly said and ran out the door.  

“JINAH WAIT!” I heard Umma call behind me. I’m not looking back I told myself and carried  on running to the stop sign at the end of the street where I saw Appa’s car.

“Myungsoo!” I screamed out.

“MYUNGSOO!” I called out again as I ran with all my might. Hang in their little one, stay strong.

I ran up to the car and banged on the window calling out Myungsoo’s name.

“Jinah go home! Myungsoo don’t you dare touch that button or so God help you!” Appa growled. No…. No! I felt frustrated and very distressed I didn’t want this to happen.  

Suddenly I saw his hand slide through the very narrow gap at the top of the slightly rolled down window. I cried in relief and grabbed onto his hand and pecked it over and over again before the car sped off in the distance.

I looked down in my palm and saw a little note:

Infinite boarding school for boys. Woollim block/building  

His writing was rushed and messy but I managed to make out the characters.

“I’m going to find you Kim Myungsoo.” I whispered hopefully as I wiped my tears away.  I signaled for the upcoming taxi and asked the driver to take me to Hyorin’s address.

After what happed I suspected that she would be home and I was right. I knocked on the door and as soon as she opened it she closed it after seeing me.

“Hyorin! Hyorin! Please come out!” I pleaded. The door swung open and she just glared at me.

“Look I have nothing to say to you. You told me you ended it, I trusted you. You’ve brought this among yourself. I can’t save your sorry now. I’m not bothered associating with someone as sinful as you so take your dirty self off of my family’ property. Plus now it’s my chance to finally rule the school. Goodbye and hope you suffer.” She said crudely and slammed the door in my face. Tears made their way down my pink cheeks. Hyorin… I thought she’d always have my back.

Why? WHY!? Why does this have to happen because Myungsoo and I love each other? Talk about trusting, I trusted her and now she betrays me? This world is so cruel and harsh as well as its people.   

I told myself to not make a fuss, to forget about her, burry memories and feeling like I usually do.

I up my tears and checked my purse. I didn’t have enough money to afford a taxi or a bus. The only hope I have left besides Myungsoo is Bora.

I knew my way to her house but it was quiet far. I had been walking for just almost an hour and my feet hurt, I was hungry and thirsty and on top of that I was pregnant for heaven’s sake.

Grey clouds decorated the sky, caving the earth in and raindrops started to trickle down one after the other. I crossed arms to keep myself warm as I walked along the streets in search for Bora’s house.

Any minute now I assured myself. I smiled in relief as I approached her house. I hesitantly knocked on the door. Please Bora help me please!

The door opened revealing Bora’s Umma who screwed her face up at me calling me an evil child and said that I wasn’t welcome and to leave.

When the door shut in front of my face again I couldn’t help but burst into tears. Everyone who I cared about or had a good relationship with, hate me.

I turned around and slowly walked back onto the street hugging myself as I my teeth chattered. I was freezing.

All of a sudden, I didn’t feel raindrops splatter on me so I looked up seeing black material. I whizzed around and saw Bora holding an umbrella. I gulped as I looked back at her.

“Pabo.” She grunted. I didn’t respond. I didn’t know what to do just in case I did the wrong thing. She took off her shoulder a Louis Vuitton duffle bag and held it out for me to take. I raised an eyebrow out of curiosity. Is she helping me?

“Inside is an umbrella, toiletries, food, water, money and clothes and other things. I packed it after I came home from school thinking you’ll stop bye. I’m so glad you did!” She smiled in relief. I was overwhelmed and I immediately hugged her.

“Thank you Bora! Thank you so much!” I thanked as I cried. She wrapped her arms around me and patted my back.

“I’m so sorry I haven’t been a good friend lately, actually I never have. But you have always meant a lot to me because just being around you made me forget about the stress at home. Gosh even now I wish I can do more for you but my parents, you know what they are like.” She cried. I tightened my arms around her.

“This is more than enough. God bless your soul. You better head back now.” I advised as I broke out of the hug. She sniffed up her tears as she smiled warmly at me and pecked my cheek.

“Take care of yourself okay? Promise me that, and the baby.” She said as she eagerly grabbed my hands in her warm hands. I nodded and she wiped a tear away from my face.

“I love you okay! Stay strong!” She said before heading back inside.

I guess at times like this, you really know who your true friends are.  In some way I’m actually glad this happened. Because if it didn’t I wouldn’t have noticed what a beautiful person Bora is inside and what a pitiful person Hyorin is.

Bora would’ve still been barely acknowledged in my eyes and I would have told Hyorin more then she needs to know about my life and about me because I would have still trusted her, but now her actions spoke the truth.  

And now I’m ashamed of myself because I thought Bora was just going to be one of those friends you’d have at school and never catch up with after it. finishes. Hyorin always said she loved me and I of course foolishly believed her. But where is she now? Now Bora said she loves me and I know it’s true because especially now when times are tough; despite my situation and despite hers . .  . she never let me go.